Zokambirana 7 Zomwe Muyenera Kukhala Nazo Kugonana Kwabwino

Zamkati

• Kukambirana Kwakale Kwakale
• Kukambirana kwa Ma Turn-Ons (Ndi Kuzimitsa).
• Kukambirana Kwafupipafupi
• Nkhani Yongopeka
• Nkhani Yobera
• Kusintha Kwachilankhulo Chachikondi
• Kukambirana Kocheza
• Onaninso za

Kuopa kuphwanya nthenga za anzako ena angakupangitseni kuti mufike pakulankhula zowona zakugonana. Koma kusanja mitu yovuta pansi pa rug kungakupangitseni kupeza mayankho (ndikusintha machitidwe apachipinda!). Izi ziyenera kukhala zokambirana ndizofunikira kuti tikhalebe ogonana komanso okwaniritsa-komanso ndi njira zathu zovomerezeka zaukadaulo zoyandikira aliyense, mudzadziwa momwe mungakhazikitsire zokambirana zomwe zingakupangitseni kuyandikira limodzi.

Kukambirana Kwakale Kwakale

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"Lamulo langa lalikulu ndikuti mukangodziwa kuti pali zokondana, kambiranani," atero a Laura Berman, Ph.D., a New York Times wogulitsa kwambiri zogonana komanso katswiri wazamaubwenzi. Ndikofunika kukambirana za matenda opatsirana pogonana ndi kachirombo ka HIV, ndi tsiku loyesedwa. Tsatirani njira pogawana mbiri yanu kaye, akutero Berman. Kungonena kuti, "Ndayesedwa kuyambira pomwe ndinagona ndi wina wotsiriza-nanga bwanji za inu?" kumapangitsa kuti kukambirana kukhale kosavuta komanso koopsa. Ndi chiyani chomwe sichiyenera kukambidwa? "Nambala" yanu, akutero Berman."Zonse zomwe zimapanga ndikupanga kusatetezeka." Kaya mwakhala munthu m'modzi kapena anthu 100, thanzi labwino komanso mbiri yakusankha bwino za thupi lanu ndizofunikira kwambiri.

Kukambirana kwa Ma Turn-Ons (Ndi Kuzimitsa).

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Kufunsa mnzanuyo kuti asiye kukoka tsitsi lanu akafika pachimake ndizovuta kwambiri kusiyana ndi kumuuza kuti, "Ndimakonda pamene [lembani mawuwo]." Koma kukambirana zomwe zimakupangitsani kupita ndi zomwe zimakulepheretsani ndikofunikira. Bweretsani zonyansa ndi zonyansa kunja kwa chipinda chogona, akutero Berman, yemwe akuwonjezera kuti maanja ambiri amalakwitsa kukhala nawo panthawiyi, ndipo izi zimapanga malo osatetezeka kwambiri. Koma m'malo moulula zosayenera, khalani ndi zabwino, atero a Andrea Syrtash, wolemba Cheat Mwamuna Wako (Ndi Mwamuna Wako). "Nenani, 'Ndimakonda kwambiri kugonana nanu, ndipo ndikufuna kuyesa izi.' Kupereka njira ina yomwe ingagwire bwino ntchito kumakupatsani mwayi woyatsa pomwe mukuyatsanso chozimitsa, akutero Syrtash. [Twiet nsonga iyi!]

Kukambirana Kwafupipafupi

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Zikafika pamafupipafupi omwe mumakhala opusa, simuyenera kukhala mu sentensi imodzi koma muyenera kukhala patsamba lomwelo, akutero Berman. Zomwe zikutanthauza: "Ngati akufuna tsiku lililonse ndipo mukufuna kamodzi pamwezi, lidzakhala vuto." Monga ndi china chilichonse, kusagwirizana ndikofunikira. Ngakhale zimamveka zosasangalatsa, yesani kukhala ndi ndondomeko yogonana. Ikhoza kukupatsani mwayi woti mutenge zida, kuti muwotche shawa, kapena kupewa zosokoneza zosafunikira. Berman akuwonetsa kugawana zogonana osachepera kawiri pa sabata, koma amachenjeza kuti palibe "nambala yamatsenga" yomwe imatsimikizira chisangalalo chaubwenzi. Othandizana nawo akuyenera kugwirira ntchito limodzi kuti apeze kuchuluka komwe kumawapangitsa kumva kuti akwaniritsidwa.

Nkhani Yongopeka

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Kutayika kwazinthu zomwe zimatsitsimutsa injini yanu kumapereka mwayi kwa anzanu kuti abweretse zongopeka zanu - ndikubweretsani pafupi. Koma kulankhula za zilakolako zachigololo n’kosavuta kunena kuposa kuchita. Ngati simukumva bwino, pangani mgwirizano kuti palibe chiweruzo chomwe chidzaperekedwe, akutero Berman. (Pambuyo pa zonse, mukhoza kumvetsera popanda kudumphira.) Ndipo ngati mnzanu (kapena inu, pa nkhani imeneyo) akufuna kukuvekani chovala cha Wonder Woman ndikukhala ndi mpando wozungulira (ndipo simukufuna gawo lililonse) ? Berman akuwonetsa kuti apange "mapu osangalatsa." Inu ndi iye mulembe zokhumba zanu ndikufanizira zolemba kuti mupange mndandanda wabwino. Nanga bwanji ngati mmodzi wa inu ali wokonda kuyesera chinthu china chimene mnzake sachikonda? Dziwani komwe chikhumbo chimachokera ndikukambirana zanyengo, atero Berman. Mwachitsanzo, ngati akufuna kugonana pagulu-ndipo simukuganiza kuti agone pansi bulangete pakhonde lakumbuyo pomwe pali mwayi wochepa woti anansi anu azembere pachimake.

Nkhani Yobera

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Chimene chimatanthauza kunyenga ndi kusakhulupirika si zakuda ndi zoyera. Koma kuthana ndi nkhani ya kubera ndikosavuta-ndipo kukumana ndi chitetezo chochepa - ngati sichikukhudzidwa ndi kukayikira. Chifukwa chake musayembekezere mpaka china chake chikalakwika kuti mufotokoze zomwe siziyenera kuloledwa. Monga banja, lembani mndandanda wazinthu zomwe mukuganiza kuti mukubera (kodi mumayala mzere wokhudza kukhudza, koma kuvina kuli bwino?). Musaiwale kuganizira zaukadaulo: Kodi mungadziwane mafoni ndi ma imelo achinsinsi? Kodi mudzakhala abwenzi ndi akale anu pa Facebook kapena Snapchat? [Twitani nsonga iyi!]

Kusintha Kwachilankhulo Chachikondi

Malingaliro

Kudziwa zomwe zimapangitsa mnzanu kumverera kuti amakondedwa ndi kuyamikiridwa, ngakhale ndizophweka monga kugwirana manja kapena kutenthedwa ngati kutumizirana mameseji achiwerewere, ndikupanga mfundo yochitira izi ndikutanthauza kukhala ndi chibwenzi chogonana, atero a Berman. Malinga ndi zomwe Gary Chapman adagulitsa kwambiri Zinenero 5 Zachikondi, anthu amapereka ndikulandirana chikondi m'njira zisanu: mphatso, nthawi yabwino, mawu otsimikiza kapena kuyamika, ntchito zothandiza, komanso kukhudza. Mabanja omwe ali ndi zilankhulo zosiyanasiyana zachikondi atha kukhutiritsana ngati onse awiri angathe kulankhulana zomwe zimawapangitsa kumva kuti amakondedwa. Berman akuwonetsa kuti alembe ziganizo zitatu kapena zisanu zomwe zimayamba ndi "Ndikumva kuti ndimakondedwa pamene ..." ndikugawana wina ndi mnzake. Mutha kuphatikiza chilichonse kuyambira "mukandigwira dzanja" kapena "mukamayamba zogonana" mpaka "mukamachapa osafunsidwa." Dziwaninso momwe mnzanuyo amakuchitirani akakhala abwino, akutero Berman. Kodi amakuthokozani? "Timakonda kukonda ena momwe timakondera kwambiri," akutero Berman. "Koma tengerani zochita zanu motsatira zawo ndipo mwina mudzakhala pa chandamale."

Kukambirana Kocheza

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Ndikofunika kukumbukira kuti zokambirana zokhuza kugonana sizinthu zokhazokha. "Zofuna zathu ndizofunika kusintha ndipo zimakupindulirani chiyani mukakhala pachibwenzi kapena mchaka chanu choyamba chaukwati sichingachitike zaka khumi," akutero Syrtash. M'malo mwake, akakhala nthawi yayitali okwatirana, amakhala ndi mwayi wodziwiratu zomwe mnzawo amakonda, akutero. Ichi ndichifukwa chake kulumikizana ndikofunikira. Lolani kuti wina ndi mnzake adziwe ngati zokonda zanu zikusintha, kapena kuti, mukadali okonda kukhala pamwamba, kondwerani atsikana achichepere.

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