Kumva Ngati Munthu 'Woipa'? Dzifunseni Mafunso Awa

Zamkati

• Ngati mukufuna thandizo pano
• Choyamba, kodi kukhala 'woipa' kumatanthauzanji?
• Choyipa chamunthu
• Mukuganiza za zotsatirapo za machitidwe anu?
• Kodi mumaganizira momwe ena akumvera?
• Nchiyani chimayendetsa zochita zanu?
• Kodi mumakhala ndi nthawi yothokoza ndi chifundo?
• Mumayankha bwanji mukazindikira kuti mwakwiyitsa winawake?
• Mukuganiza za anthu ena kapena mumangoganizira za inu nokha?
• Ndiye, chotsatira ndi chiyani?
• Muzicheza ndi anthu osiyanasiyana
• Sankhani zabwino mwachisawawa
• Taganizirani zotsatira zake
• Yesetsani kudzivomereza nokha
• Dziwani zoyenera zanu ndikukhala mogwirizana
• Lankhulani ndi wothandizira
• Mfundo yofunika

Monga anthu ambiri, mwina mwachita zinthu zina zomwe mumaona ngati zabwino, zina zomwe mumaziona ngati zoyipa, komanso zinthu zambiri zomwe zili pakatikati.

Mwinamwake munanyenga mnzanu, munaba ndalama kwa mnzanu, kapena munamenya mwana wanu mu nthawi yaukali. Pambuyo pake, sunadzisangalatse ndipo unatsimikiza kuti sudzachitanso.

Mutha kudabwabe kuti izi zimanenanji za inu monga munthu, zomwe zimabweretsa mavuto komanso kusasangalala.

Kumbukirani kuti kudzifunsa nokha, Kodi ndine munthu woipa? si zachilendo. Kungoyang'ana funsoli kukuwonetsa kuti muli ndi gawo lodzizindikira komanso kumvera ena chisoni.

Ngati mukuyesetsa kupewa kuvulaza, ndicho chizindikiro chabwino. Ngati mungavomereze kuti muli ndi malo ena oti musinthe - ndipo ndani satero? - mukuchita chinthu chodalirika choyamba pakusintha kwabwino.

Ngati mukufuna thandizo pano

Ngati mukuganiza zodzipha kapena mukuganiza zodzipweteka nokha, mutha kuyimbira Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration ku 800-662-HELP (4357).

Hotline ya 24/7 ikulumikizani ndi zithandizo zamaganizidwe mdera lanu. Akatswiri ophunzitsidwa amathanso kukuthandizani kuti mupeze zofunikira za boma lanu ngati mulibe inshuwaransi yazaumoyo.

Choyamba, kodi kukhala 'woipa' kumatanthauzanji?

Ili ndi funso lovuta lomwe lilibe yankho losavuta. Anthu ambiri ali ndi kuthekera kwamakhalidwe abwino ndi oyipa, koma "zoyipa" zitha kukhala zogonjera, ndipo anthu ambiri sagwirizana pakumasulira kwake.

Dr. Maury Joseph, katswiri wama psychology ku Washington, D.C., akuwonetsa kufunikira kofunikira kulingalira momwe zinthu ziliri poyipa.

"Ngati munthu apanga chisankho chokhacho kwa iwo, kutengera mbiri yawo yakukula, tsankho la dziko lomwe adabadwira, komanso komwe akukhala, kodi zimawapangitsa kukhala oyipa?"

Mwachidule, aliyense ali ndi mbiri yakale yomwe imapereka mawonekedwe ofunikira pamakhalidwe awo. Khalidwe loipa loti munthu m'modzi angaoneke ngati loipa kwa munthu m'modzi lingawoneke ngati loyenera kwa munthu wochokera kwina.

Choyipa chamunthu

Mu pepala lofufuzira ndi webusayiti ya 2018, akatswiri atatu amisala akuwonetsa kuti zomwe amachitcha kuti "D," kapena chinthu chamdima cha umunthu, ndiye muzu wamakhalidwe oyipa kapena nkhanza.

Makhalidwe azinthu za D-zinthu zimaphatikizapo narcissism ndi psychopathy, komanso:

• nkhanza
• nkhanza
• kudzikonda
• ufulu
• Kusiya makhalidwe abwino
• kudzikonda

Makhalidwe onsewa akuwonetsa kuti wina azichita zofuna zake kupweteketsa ena.

Mwinamwake mwawona zina za D-factor mu khalidwe lanu. Mosasamala kanthu, mafunso otsatirawa angakuthandizeni kuwunika momwe mumakhalira ndikuzindikira malo omwe angagwiritse ntchito.

Mukuganiza za zotsatirapo za machitidwe anu?

Zosankha zambiri zomwe mumapanga zimakhudza anthu ena kupatula inu. Musanachite chilichonse, makamaka ngati mukukayikira ngati ndichinthu choyenera kuchita, ndi bwino kuima kaye ndikuganizira ngati zomwe mwachitazo zingakhumudwitse wina.

Kupereka mphekesera kwa abwana anu kuntchito kungakupangitseni kuti muwoneke bwino, koma sizingathandize wogwira naye ntchito - makamaka ngati mphekesera sizowona.

Ngati zomwe zingakhudze zilibe kanthu kwa inu bola ngati mungapindule, kapena mukuvutika kulingalira zotsatira za ena, zomwe zingakhale zoyenera kuzifufuza.

Kodi mumaganizira momwe ena akumvera?

M'moyo wanu watsiku ndi tsiku, kodi mumakhala ndi nthawi yoganizira momwe anthu okuzungulirani? Kuwonetsa chidwi ndi thanzi la ena ndi gawo lofunikira pakusungitsa ubale pakati pawo.

Mwina mumadziimba mlandu chifukwa mulibe nthawi kapena mphamvu zambiri zothandizira. Koma sizitengera zambiri kuti muwonetse kuti mumasamala. Nthawi zambiri zimakhala zokwanira kungopereka chilimbikitso cham'mutu kapena khutu lomvera.

Zingakuthandizeni kuyankhula ndi wothandizira ngati mukumva kuti mulibe chidwi, kapena ngati mukukhulupirira kuti ena akuyenerera mavuto omwe akukumana nawo.

Nchiyani chimayendetsa zochita zanu?

Mutha kuchita zinthu zomwe ena amaziona ngati zosayenera chifukwa chongofunikira. Mwachitsanzo, anthu ambiri amene amanama, kuba, kapena kuchita zinthu zomwe ena angaone kuti ndi zopanda chilungamo amaona kuti alibe njira ina iliyonse. Zifukwa sizikutanthauza kuti kuba kapena zolakwa zina nthawi zonse, koma zimatha kuzithandizira.

Mwina munaba chifukwa simunathe kulipira kena kalikonse kamene mumafuna. Kapena munanama kuti muteteze malingaliro a wokondedwa kapena kuti asatuluke m'mavuto. Zachidziwikire, izi mwina sizoyenda bwino kwambiri. Koma ngati muli ndi cholinga chodzitchinjiriza winawake yemwe mumamukonda, ndiye kuti mukumupweteka.

Ngati, kumbali inayo, mumachita zinthu zosayenera kapena zopanda pake kuti muvulaze ena, kapena popanda chifukwa, kungakhale koyenera kupeza thandizo.

Kodi mumakhala ndi nthawi yothokoza ndi chifundo?

Pamene ena akuthandizani kapena kuwasonyeza kukoma mtima, kodi mumawathokoza ndi kuwayamikira, mwina mwa kuwachitira zabwino?

Kapena mumavomereza kuti izi ndizoyenera, china chomwe muyenera kulandira?

Mumamva bwanji ena akakupemphani kuti muthandizidwe? Kodi mumayesetsa kuwathandiza kupeza zomwe akufuna, kapena kodi mumangosiya zopempha zawo osayesetsa kuwathandiza?

Ngati mutenga popanda kubwezera chilichonse, ndipo osamva kuti mukuvutitsidwa ndi izi, wothandizira akhoza kukuthandizani kuti muwone chifukwa chake.

Mumayankha bwanji mukazindikira kuti mwakwiyitsa winawake?

Anthu omwe timayandikana nawo kwambiri nthawi zina amatha kutulutsa zopanda pake mwa ife, malinga ndi Joseph. "Timakalipa, ndife oyipa, timawakankha, tikunena zowawa."

Mwinanso mumakonda kunena zinthu zopanda pake mukamakangana kapena kunyoza anzanu mukakhumudwa.

Anthu ambiri angaganize zamakhalidwe oyipawa. Koma mumatani pambuyo pake? Kodi mumapepesa, kuyesa kukonzanso, kapena kuthetsa kulankhulana bwino mtsogolo?

Mutha kumva chisoni, koma kudzimvera chisoni ndikudzimvera chisoni kumatha kukonza njira yakusinthira.

Mwina simusamala yemwe mumamupweteka. Kapenanso mukukhulupirira kuti mnzanu akuyenera kumulankhula mawu amwano kapena kumuzunza chifukwa choti adakuchitirani zoyipa. Izi ndi zizindikilo zomwe mungafune kuyang'anitsitsa machitidwe anu mosamala.

Mukuganiza za anthu ena kapena mumangoganizira za inu nokha?

Kudzisamalira bwino kumaphatikizapo kuwonetsetsa kuti mutha kupeza zosowa zanu. Palibe cholakwika ndi kudzikonda nthawi zina. Musamadzimve chisoni kapena kudziimba mlandu chifukwa chosatha kuthandiza anthu ena mukamakwaniritsa zosowa zanu.

Ngati mumangoganizira za inu nokha pamene moyo wanu umakhudza anthu ena, monga mnzanu kapena ana, anthu ena atha kukumana ndi zowawa kapena zopweteka chifukwa cha izi.

Ana sangakwaniritse zosowa zawo zambiri, motero makolo nthawi zambiri amayenera kupeza njira yosamalira zosowa zawo zamaganizidwe ndi zakuthupi. Izi zitha kukhala zovuta ngati mukukumana ndi matenda kapena nkhawa zamaganizidwe, koma wothandizira amatha kupereka chitsogozo ndi chithandizo.

Thandizo la akatswiri lingathandizenso ngati mukuwona kuti simusamala za wina aliyense.

Ndiye, chotsatira ndi chiyani?

Mwachita chidwi ndikudzifunsa mafunso ovuta. Mwina mukuzindikira kuti pali zina mwa inu zomwe zingagwiritse ntchito kusintha.

Aliyense angathe kusintha. Ngati mwayesapo ndikulephera kusintha, mungamve ngati palibe chifukwa choyeseranso. Zitha kuwoneka ngati zosavuta kungokhala momwe muliri.

Kungosankha ayi kuchita zinthu zoipa kumatha kukupangitsani kuyenda m'njira yoyenera. Kudzipereka kunama pang'ono, mwachitsanzo, ndi gawo lofunikira.

Nawa maupangiri ena okuthandizani kuti mupite patsogolo.

Muzicheza ndi anthu osiyanasiyana

Dziko laling'ono limatha kuchepetsa malingaliro anu. Kupatula nthawi ndi anthu osiyanasiyana, ngakhale omwe mukuganiza kuti simukufanana nawo, kungakuthandizeni kukhala ndi chifundo chachikulu kwa anthu ochokera mbali zonse za moyo.

Kuwerenga ndikumvetsera nkhani zokonda za anthu komanso zikumbukiro zitha kuthandizanso kukulitsa malingaliro ozungulira anthu azikhalidwe zosiyanasiyana.

Sankhani zabwino mwachisawawa

Kuchitira wina zabwino kumawapindulitsa, inde. Komanso imapindulitsanso thanzi lanu.

Ngati zikukuvutani kusamalira ena, kuchita chinthu chimodzi tsiku lililonse kungakuthandizeni kukulitsa chifundo.

Taganizirani zotsatira zake

M'malo mochita zinthu mopupuluma pomwe mukufuna china chake, dzifunseni ngati zomwe mumachita zingakhudze aliyense. Kungotenga mphindi kulingalira za izi kungakuthandizeni kukumbukira kuti zochita zanu sizimakukhudzani.

Sikuti nthawi zonse zimatheka kupewa kukhumudwitsa aliyense. Ngati mupitiliza kukhala osamala komanso achifundo, mutha kupewa kupweteketsa mtima kosafunikira. Kuganizira mozama kumathandizanso kupeza yankho lomwe lili labwino kwa onse omwe akutenga nawo mbali.

Yesetsani kudzivomereza nokha

Zingakuthandizeni kukumbukira kuti aliyense amalakwitsa. Mutha kuvulaza anthu, koma siinu nokha omwe mwachita izi. Chofunika kwambiri ndikuphunzira ndikukula kuchokera m'mbuyomu kuti tipewe kukhumudwitsa anthu mtsogolo.

Ngakhale mutachita zinthu zina zomwe sizabwino, ndinu oyenera kukondedwa ndi kukhululukidwa. Mutha kukhala ndi nthawi yovuta kuvomereza izi kuchokera kwa ena mpaka mutha kudzipatsa nokha.

Dziwani zoyenera zanu ndikukhala mogwirizana

Kukhala ndi malingaliro omveka bwino kungakuthandizeni kukhala ndi moyo wosangalala.

Dzifunseni zomwe zili zofunika kwambiri kwa inu. Kuwona mtima, kudalira, kukoma mtima, kulankhulana, kukhulupirika, ndi kuyankha ndi zitsanzo zochepa.

Kenako, zindikirani zosintha zomwe zingakuthandizeni kutsatira mfundo izi, monga:

• kunena zoona nthawi zonse
• kulemekeza zomwe mwadzipereka
• kuuza anthu pamene chinachake chikukusautsani

Lankhulani ndi wothandizira

Mukapezeka kuti mumakhala nthawi yayitali mukuganiza kuti ndinu munthu wotani, chithandizo chitha kukhala chothandiza kwambiri. Kuphatikiza apo, pakhoza kukhala vuto, monga kukhumudwa, kupsinjika, kapena nkhawa ina yamisala, yomwe imakhudza momwe mumamvera komanso momwe mumayanjanirana ndi ena.

Therapy ndi malo abwino kuphunzirira zambiri pazomwe zimayendetsa machitidwe anu ndikupeza chitsogozo cha njira zabwino zopezera zosowa zanu. Wachifundo wachifundo, wamakhalidwe abwino amapereka chithandizo popanda kuweruza.

"Anthu omwe ali ndi zovuta, zovuta pakati pawo atha kuyika chithunzi chomwe chimalepheretsa anthu kuti azingowona pang'ono chabe. Amawoneka onyansa, osalakwa, osadzimvera chisoni. Koma mwina iyi si nkhani yonse, ”akutero a Joseph.

Therapy imatha kuthandiza anthu kusintha machitidwe awo, akufotokoza, powalola kuti apange "kumvetsetsa mozama za malingaliro a ena, kuwawona osati monga zinthu, koma zovuta kwambiri."

Mfundo yofunika

Kutha kwanu kulingalira zochita zanu ndikudabwa ndi zomwe zakukhudzani kukuwonetsa kuti mwina ndinu munthu wabwino kuposa momwe mumaganizira. Ngakhale mutachita zinthu zoyipa kapena muli ndi machitidwe ena a D, mutha kusintha.

Zosankha zomwe mumapanga m'moyo zimathandizira kudziwa kuti ndinu ndani, ndipo mutha kusankha bwino nthawi zonse.

Crystal Raypole adagwirapo ntchito ngati wolemba komanso mkonzi wa GoodTherapy. Magawo ake achidwi akuphatikiza zilankhulo ndi mabuku aku Asia, kumasulira kwachijapani, kuphika, sayansi yachilengedwe, chiyembekezo chogonana, komanso thanzi lamaganizidwe. Makamaka, akudzipereka kuthandiza kuchepetsa manyazi pazokhudza matenda amisala.