Zizindikiro za 11 Mukuchita Chibwenzi ndi Narcissist - ndi Momwe Mungatulukire

Zamkati

• Njira zovomerezeka za 9 za NPD
  
• 1. Anali okondeka AF… poyamba
• 2. Amakulitsa kukambirana, nkumakamba zakukula kwawo
• 3. Amapereka kuyamika kwanu
• 4. Amasowa chifundo
• 5. Alibe anzawo (kapena ambiri) okhalitsa
• Mafunso omwe mungadzifunse
  
• 6. Amakusankhirani pafupipafupi
• 7. Amakupatsani mphamvu
• 8. Amavina mozungulira kutanthauzira chibwenzi
• 9. Amaganiza kuti akunena zoona pa chilichonse… ndipo sapepesa
• 10. Amakhala amantha mukamafuna kuti mulekane nawo
• 11.… ndipo mukawawonetsa kuti mwamaliza, amakalipa
• CHABWINO, ndiye kuti muli pachibwenzi ndi wankhanza… tsopano?
• Momwe mungakonzekere kupatukana ndi wamankhwala osokoneza bongo
  

Matenda a narcissistic sakhala ofanana ndi kudzidalira kapena kudzidalira.

Munthu wina akatumiza ma selfies ochuluka kapena kujambula zithunzi pazithunzi zawo kapena akamalankhula za iwo okha tsiku loyamba, titha kuwatcha kuti narcissist.

Koma wolemba nkhani weniweni ndi munthu yemwe ali ndi vuto la umunthu wamankhwala (NPD). Ndi matenda amisala omwe amadziwika ndi:

• kudzikuza kofunika
• kusowa kwakukulu kwa chidwi chochulukirapo komanso kusilira
• kusamvera ena chisoni
• nthawi zambiri amakhala ndi maubwenzi ovuta

Chimene chimakhalira, akutero katswiri wololeza a Rebecca Weiler, LMHC, ndichodzikonda pakuwononga ena (nthawi zambiri mopitilira muyeso), kuphatikiza kulephera kuganizira momwe ena akumvera.

NPD, monga zovuta zambiri zamatenda amisala kapena umunthu, si yakuda ndi yoyera. Banja la Beverly Hills komanso katswiri wa zamaganizidwe Dr. Fran Walfish, wolemba "The Self-Aware Parent."

Mtundu waposachedwa kwambiri wa Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disways umatchula njira zisanu ndi zinayi za NPD, koma umanenanso kuti wina amangofunika kukwaniritsa zisanu mwa iwo kuti akhale woyenera kukhala wankhanza.

Njira zovomerezeka za 9 za NPD

• kudzimva kwakukulu kodziona kuti ndiwe wofunika kwambiri
• kutanganidwa ndi zokhumbika za kupambana kopanda malire, mphamvu, luso, kukongola, kapena chikondi chabwino
• kukhulupirira kuti ndiopadera ndipo ndi apadera ndipo amatha kumvetsetsa ndi, kapena kuyanjana nawo, anthu ena apadera kapena apamwamba kapena mabungwe
• kufunika kochita chidwi kwambiri
• lingaliro la kuyenera
• Khalidwe lozunza anzawo
• kusowa chifundo
• kusirira ena kapena kukhulupirira kuti ena amawasirira
• chionetsero chamakhalidwe onyada komanso onyada kapena malingaliro

Izi zati, kudziwa njira zovomerezeka "zovomerezeka" sizimapangitsa kuti kukhale kosavuta kuwona wamankhwala osokoneza bongo, makamaka mukamakondana ndi m'modzi. Nthawi zambiri sizingatheke kudziwa ngati wina ali ndi NPD popanda kudziwa katswiri wodziwa bwino.

Kuphatikiza apo, wina akamaganiza ngati ali pachibwenzi ndi wamankhwala osokoneza bongo, nthawi zambiri saganiza kuti, "Ali ndi NPD?" Akuganiza kuti momwe akuwathandiziradi ndi athanzi komanso osatha m'kupita kwanthawi. Chonde pewani kuzindikira mnzanu pokambirana. M'malo mwake, werengani kuti mumvetsetse zaubwenzi wanu.

Mwabwera chifukwa muli ndi nkhawa, ndipo nkhawa imeneyi ndi yolondola ngati thanzi lanu lili pangozi. Ngati mukuganiza kuti zizindikirozi zikuyenererana, tikupatsaninso maupangiri amomwe mungathetsere vutoli.

1. Anali okondeka AF… poyamba

Zinayamba ngati nthano. Mwinanso amakulemberani mameseji pafupipafupi, kapena kukuwuzani kuti amakukondani m'mwezi woyamba - zomwe akatswiri amatcha "kuphulitsa bomba."

Mwinanso amakuuzani kuti ndinu anzeru kapena amatsindika kuti ndinu ogwirizana, ngakhale mutangoyamba kumene kuwonana.

"A Narcissist amaganiza kuti akuyenera kukhala ndi anthu ena apadera, ndikuti anthu apadera ndi okhawo omwe angawayamikire kwathunthu," atero a Nedra Glover Tawwab, LCSW, woyambitsa Kaleidoscope Counselling ku Charlotte, North Carolina.

Koma mukangochita china chomwe chimawakhumudwitsa, atha kukutembenukira.

Ndipo nthawi zambiri simudzakhala ndi chidziwitso pazomwe mudachita, akutero Tawwab. "Momwe amunamwini amakuchitirani, kapena akakususani, sizikugwirizana ndi inu kapena chilichonse chokhudzana ndi [zikhulupiriro] zawo."

Upangiri wawowononga: Ngati wina adabwera wamphamvu kwambiri pachiyambi, samalani. Zachidziwikire, tonsefe timakonda kumva kusilira. Koma chikondi chenicheni chimayenera kusamalidwa ndikukula.

“Ngati mukuganiza kuti ndi molawirira kwambiri kuti iwo akukondeni, mwina ndi choncho. Kapena ngati mukuwona ngati sakudziwa zokwanira za inu kuti akukondeni, mwina sangatero, "akutero a Weiler. Anthu omwe ali ndi NPD ayesa kupanga kulumikizana kwapamwamba koyambirira kwa chibwenzi.

2. Amakulitsa kukambirana, nkumakamba zakukula kwawo

"Anarcissist amakonda kukambirana pafupipafupi zomwe akwanitsa kuchita ndi zomwe akwanitsa kuchita," atero a psychologist a Jacklyn Krol, LCSW, a Mind Rejuvenation Therapy. "Amachita izi chifukwa amamva bwino komanso anzeru kuposa ena onse, komanso chifukwa zimawathandiza kuti azioneka ngati olimba mtima."

Katswiri wazamisala Dr. Angela Grace, PhD, MEd, BFA, BEd, akuwonjezera kuti ochita zachiwerewere nthawi zambiri amakokomeza zomwe akwanitsa ndikukometsera maluso awo munkhanizi kuti apembedzedwe ndi ena.

Alinso otanganidwa kwambiri kulankhula za iwo eni kuti asakumvereni.Chenjezo lili ndi mbali ziwiri pano, atero a Grace. Choyamba, mnzanu sasiya kulankhula za iwo okha, ndipo chachiwiri, mnzanuyo sadzacheza nawo za inu.

Dzifunseni kuti: Kodi chimachitika ndi chiyani mukamayankhula za inu nokha? Kodi amafunsanso mafunso otsatirawa ndikuwonetsa chidwi kuti adziwe zambiri za inu? Kapena amapanga za iwo?

3. Amapereka kuyamika kwanu

Narcissists atha zikuwoneka monga amadzidalira kwambiri. Koma malinga ndi Tawwab, anthu ambiri omwe ali ndi NPD samadzidalira.

"Amafunikira matamando ambiri, ndipo ngati simukuwapatsa, adzawedza," akutero. Ndicho chifukwa chake akukuyang'anirani nthawi zonse kuti muwauze kukula kwawo.

"Anthu ochita zachiwerewere amagwiritsa ntchito anthu ena - anthu omwe amamvera ena chisoni kwambiri - kuti adzipezere ulemu, ndikuwapangitsa kuti azimva kuti ndi amphamvu. Koma chifukwa chodzidalira, ma egos awo amatha kuchepetsedwa mosavuta, zomwe zimawonjezera kufunikira kwawo koyamikiridwa, ”akuwonjezera Shirin Peykar, LMFT.

Malangizo owerenga anthu: Anthu omwe ali kwenikweni kudzidalira sikudzangodalira pa inu, kapena wina aliyense, kuti mumve bwino za iwo eni.

"Kusiyana kwakukulu pakati pa anthu omwe ali ndi chidaliro ndi iwo omwe ali ndi NPD ndikuti okonda zonyansa amafuna ena kuti awakweze, ndikudzikweza okha pokhazikitsa ena pansi. Zinthu ziwiri zomwe anthu omwe amadzidalira samachita, "akutero a Peykar.

Monga a Weiler akufotokozera, "A Narcissist amalanga aliyense owazungulira chifukwa chodzidalira."

4. Amasowa chifundo

Kupanda kumvera ena chisoni, kapena kutha kumva momwe munthu wina akumvera, ndi chimodzi mwa the Makhalidwe odziwika bwino a wankhanza, Walfish akuti.

"Narcissists alibe luso lakupangitsani kuti mumveke, kutsimikizira, kumvetsetsa, kapena kuvomerezedwa chifukwa samvetsetsa lingaliro lakumverera," akutero.

Kutanthauzira: Sakutero chitani kutengeka kwa ena.

Kodi mnzanuyo amasamala mukakhala ndi tsiku loipa kuntchito, kumenyana ndi mnzanu wapamtima, kapena kukangana ndi makolo anu? Kapena amakhumudwa mukamafotokozera zinthu zomwe zimakupangitsani kukhala okwiya komanso okhumudwa?

Walfish akuti kulephera kumvetsetsa, kapena ngakhale kumvera ena chisoni, nthawi zambiri kumakhala chifukwa chomwe maubale ambiri, ngati si onse, amisili pamapeto pake amatha, kaya ndi achikondi kapena ayi.

5. Alibe anzawo (kapena ambiri) okhalitsa

Olemba narcissist ambiri sadzakhala ndi anzawo ataliatali, enieni. Kumbani mozama kulumikizana kwawo ndipo mutha kuwona kuti amangokhala ndi anzawo wamba, anzawo omwe amalankhula zonyansa, komanso ma neeses.

Zotsatira zake, atha kukukwidzirani mukafuna kucheza nanu. Anganene kuti simumakhala nawo nthawi yokwanira, amakupangitsani kumva kuti ndinu olakwa chifukwa chocheza ndi anzanu, kapena kukudzudzulani chifukwa cha mitundu ya anzanu omwe muli nawo.

Mafunso omwe mungadzifunse

• Kodi mnzanuyo amamuchitira bwanji munthu yemwe sakufuna chilichonse?
• Kodi mnzanuyo ali ndi abwenzi kwanthawi yayitali?
• Kodi ali kapena amalankhula zakufunafuna nemesis?

6. Amakusankhirani pafupipafupi

Mwinamwake poyamba zimamveka ngati kuseka…. koma kenako zinayamba kukhala zankhanza kapena zosasinthika.

Mwadzidzidzi, chilichonse chomwe mumachita, kuyambira zomwe mumavala ndikudya mpaka omwe mumacheza nawo komanso zomwe mumawonera pa TV, ndizovuta kwa iwo.

"Adzakunyodolani, adzakutchulani mayina, adzakumenyani ndi zingwe zopweteka, ndikupanga nthabwala zomwe sizoseketsa," akutero Peykar. "Cholinga chawo ndikuchepetsa kudzidalira kwa ena kuti athe kuwonjezera zawo, chifukwa zimawapangitsa kumva kuti ali ndi mphamvu."

Kuphatikiza apo, kuyankha pazomwe akunena kumangolimbikitsa machitidwe awo. Peykar akuti: "Wolemba zamatsenga amakonda kuchitapo kanthu." Izi ndichifukwa choti zimawonetsa kuti ali ndi mphamvu zosintha momwe ena akumvera.

Chizindikiro chochenjeza: Ngati akugwetsani pansi ndikukunyozani mukamachita zinazake zabwino, chokani. "Wolemba zamatsenga amatha kunena kuti" Munatha kuchita izi chifukwa sindinagone bwino "kapena chowiringula china kuti ziwoneke ngati muli ndi mwayi womwe analibe," akutero Tawwab.

Afuna kuti mudziwe kuti simuli bwino kuposa iwo. Chifukwa, kwa iwo, palibe amene ali.

7. Amakupatsani mphamvu

Kuunikira kwa gasi ndi njira yodziyimira ndi kuchitira nkhanza anthu, ndipo ndichizindikiro chazankhani. Narcissists atha kubodza zabodza, kunamizira ena, kupotoza chowonadi, ndikuwononga zenizeni zanu.

Zizindikiro zowunikira gasi ndi izi:

• Simumvekanso ngati munthu wakale.
• Mumakhala ndi nkhawa komanso kudzidalira kuposa kale.
• Nthawi zambiri mumadabwa ngati mukusamala kwambiri.
• Mukuwona ngati chilichonse chomwe mumachita sichabwino.
• Nthawi zonse mumaganiza kuti ndi vuto lanu zinthu zikasokonekera.
• Mukupepesa nthawi zambiri.
• Muli ndi chidziwitso kuti china chake chalakwika, koma simutha kuzindikira chomwe chiri.
• Nthawi zambiri mumakayikira ngati yankho lanu kwa mnzanu ndiloyenera.
• Mumapanga zifukwa zakhalira ndi zomwe mnzanu amachita.

"Amachita izi kuti ena azidzikayikira ngati njira yopezera kupambana. A Narcissist amasangalala chifukwa chopembedzedwa, chifukwa chake amagwiritsa ntchito njira zopusitsira kuti muchite zomwezo, "akutero a Peykar.

8. Amavina mozungulira kutanthauzira chibwenzi

Pali zifukwa zikwizikwi zomwe mwina munthu sangafune kutchula ubale wanu. Mwinamwake ali polyamorous, inu nonse mwagwirizana ndi anzanu-ndi-phindu mkhalidwe, kapena mukungosunga izo wamba.

Koma ngati mnzanu akuwonetsa zina mwa mndandandandawu ndipo sangadzipereke, mwina ndi mbendera yofiira.

Ena mwa anthu ochita zachiwerewere amayembekezera kuti muwachitire ngati kuti ndi anzanu kuti athe kupeza zabwino, zam'malingaliro, komanso zogonana komanso kuyang'anira omwe angawaone kuti ndi apamwamba.

M'malo mwake, mutha kuzindikira kuti mnzanuyo amakopana kapena amayang'ana ena patsogolo panu, banja lanu, kapena anzanu, atero wothandizira a April Kirkwood, LPC, wolemba "Working My Way Back to Me: A Frank Memoir of Self- Kupeza. ”

"Mukalankhula zakukhosi kwanu ndikuti simukulemekezani, adzakudzudzulani chifukwa chodzetsa mpungwepungwe, kukuyitanani kuti ndinu amisala, ndikuzigwiritsa ntchito ngati chifukwa china choti musadzipereke kwathunthu kwa inu. Ngati simunena chilichonse, [zimaperekanso] uthenga wosalankhulidwa kuti simukuyenera kulemekezedwa, "akutero.

Ngati zikumveka ngati zotayika, ndichifukwa chake. Koma kumbukirani kuti mukuyenera munthu amene ali wodzipereka kwa inu monga momwe mulili kwa iwo.

9. Amaganiza kuti akunena zoona pa chilichonse… ndipo sapepesa

Kulimbana ndi wankhanza kumawoneka ngati kosatheka.

"Palibe kutsutsana kapena kunyengerera ndi wankhanza, chifukwa nthawi zonse amakhala olondola," Tawwab akutero. "Iwo sadzawona kwenikweni kusagwirizana ngati kusamvana. Adzangowona ngati akuphunzitsani zoona. "

Malinga ndi Peykar, mutha kukhala mukukhala pachibwenzi ndi wankhanza ngati mukumva ngati mnzanu:

• samakumvani
• sakumvetsa
• satenga udindo wawo pankhaniyi
• samayesa konse kunyengerera

Pomwe kuthetsa chibwenzicho ndi dongosolo labwino kwambiri pamasewera ndi wamankhwala, Weiler amalangiza za kupewa kukambirana ndi mikangano. “Zidzakusowetsa mtendere. Chomwe chimapangitsa wamisala kukhala woperewera ndikusowa kwamphamvu komanso kusamenya nkhondo. Mukamalimbana pang'ono, mphamvu zochepa zomwe mungawapatse pa inu, zimakhala bwino, "akutero.

Ndipo chifukwa samaganiza kuti alakwitsa, sapepesa. Pafupifupi chilichonse.

Kulephera kupepesa kumeneku kumatha kudziwonetsera pakawonekere kuti mnzanu ali ndi vuto, monga:

• kuwonetsa kusungitsa chakudya chamadzulo mochedwa
• osayimba pomwe ananena kuti atero
• kuletsa mapulani ofunikira mphindi zomaliza, monga kukumana ndi makolo anu kapena anzanu

Abwenzi abwino amatha kuzindikira ngati achita chinthu cholakwika ndikupepesa chifukwa cha icho.

10. Amakhala amantha mukamafuna kuti mulekane nawo

Mukangothawira kwina, wamisala ayesa kuti ndizovuta kwambiri kukusungani m'miyoyo yawo.

"Poyamba, atha kukukondani. Adzanena zonse zoyenera kukupangitsani kuganiza kuti asintha, "akutero a Peykar.

Koma posakhalitsa, akuwonetsani kuti sanasinthe. Ndipo chifukwa cha ichi, anthu ambiri ochita zachiwerewere amadzipeza okha ali pachibwenzi, osakondanso mpaka atapeza wina woti akhale naye pachibwenzi.

11.… ndipo mukawawonetsa kuti mwamaliza, amakalipa

Ngati muumiriza kuti mwamaliza ndi chibwenzicho, apanga cholinga chawo kukupweteketsani chifukwa chowasiya, a Peykar akutero.

"Udindo wawo umaphwanyidwa kwambiri kotero kuti zimawapangitsa kuti azimva mkwiyo ndi chidani kwa aliyense amene 'adawachitira zoipa.' Izi ndichifukwa choti zonse ndizolakwika za ena onse. Kuphatikiza kutha kwa banja, ”akutero.

Chotsatira? Amatha kukuyankhulani zoipa kuti musunge nkhope. Kapenanso atha kuyamba chibwenzi nthawi yomweyo ndi wina kuti akupangitseni nsanje ndikuwathandiza kudziona kuti ndiabwino. Kapena ayesa kuba anzako.

Chifukwa chake, atero a Tawwab, ndichifukwa choti mbiri yabwino imatanthauza chilichonse kwa iwo, ndipo salola kuti aliyense kapena chilichonse chisokoneze izi.

CHABWINO, ndiye kuti muli pachibwenzi ndi wankhanza… tsopano?

Ngati muli pachibwenzi ndi munthu yemwe ali ndi NPD, mwayi wake kuti mwakumana nazo kale pang'ono.

Kukhala paubwenzi ndi munthu yemwe nthawi zonse amakudzudzula, kunyoza, kuyatsa mafuta, komanso osadzipereka kwa iwe ndikotopetsa mtima. Ichi ndichifukwa chake, kuti mukhale athanzi, akatswiri amalimbikitsa ku GTFO.

Momwe mungakonzekere kupatukana ndi wamankhwala osokoneza bongo

• Dzikumbutseni nokha nthawi zonse kuti mukuyenera kuchita bwino.
• Limbikitsani ubale wanu ndi anzanu akumvera chisoni.
• Pangani njira yothandizira ndi abwenzi komanso abale omwe angakuthandizeni kukukumbutsani zomwe zili zenizeni.
• Limbikitsani mnzanu kuti apite kuchipatala.
• Pezani wothandizira nokha.

“Simungasinthe munthu yemwe ali ndi vuto lodzikongoletsa kapena kumusangalatsa mwa kumukonda mokwanira kapena mwa kudzisintha kuti mukwaniritse zofuna zawo. Sadzalumikizana nanu, sadzamvera chisoni zomwe mwakumana nazo, ndipo mudzakhala opanda kanthu mukamacheza nawo, ”adatero Grace.

"Narcissists sangamve akukwaniritsidwa mu maubale, kapena mdera lililonse m'miyoyo yawo, chifukwa palibe chomwe chimakhala chapadera mokwanira kwa iwo," akuwonjezera.

Kwenikweni, simudzakwanira iwo, chifukwa sadzikwanira okha.

“Chinthu chabwino kwambiri chomwe mungachite ndikudula zibwenzi. Musafotokozere. Osapereka mwayi wachiwiri. Siyana nawo ndipo osamupatsanso mwayi wachiwiri, wachitatu, kapena wachinayi, ”atero a Grace.

Chifukwa wolemba nkhani zachiwerewere atha kuyesera kulumikizana nanu ndikukuzunzani ndi mafoni kapena zolemba akangomaliza kukana, Krol akuwalimbikitsa kuti awaletse kuti akuthandizeni kutsatira zomwe mwasankha.

Kumbukirani: Nkhaniyi sikutanthauza kuti muzindikiritse mnzanuyo. Zimatanthauzira kufotokozera zamakhalidwe osavomerezeka ndi machitidwe munjira yolumikizana mwachikondi. Palibe chimodzi mwazizindikirozi chomwe chimalozera kuubwenzi wabwino, NPD kapena ayi.

Ndipo kukhala ndi chimodzi kapena zisanu ndi chimodzi mwazizindikirozi sikumamupangitsa mnzanu kukhala wankhanza. M'malo mwake, ndi chifukwa chabwino chowunikiranso ngati mukuyenda bwino kapena ayi. Simuli ndi udindo pamakhalidwe awo, koma muli ndi udindo wosamalira nokha.

Gabrielle Kassel ndi kusewera rugby, kuthamanga matope, mapuloteni-smoothie-kuphatikiza, kuphika chakudya, CrossFitting, Wolemba zaumoyo ku New York. Iye ali kukhala munthu wammawa, adayesa zovuta za Whole30, ndikudya, kumwa, kusakaniza, kutsuka, ndikusamba makala, zonsezi mdzina la utolankhani. Mu nthawi yake yaulere, amatha kupezeka akuwerenga mabuku othandizira, kutsitsa benchi, kapena kuchita hygge. Tsatirani iye mopitirira Instagram.