Kukhumudwa Pambuyo Pogonana Ndi Kwachilendo - Umu Ndi Momwe Mungazigwirire

Zamkati

• Choyamba, dziwani kuti simuli nokha
• Zomwe mukukumana nazo mwina ndi post-coital dysphoria
• Zimayambitsa chiyani?
• Mahomoni anu
• Maganizo anu pankhani yogonana
• Maganizo anu pa chibwenzicho
• Nkhani za thupi
• Zovuta zam'mbuyomu kapena kuzunzidwa
• Kupsinjika kapena mavuto ena amisala
• Kodi muyenera kuchita chiyani ngati mukuvutika maganizo?
• Fikirani kwa wothandizira zaumoyo
• Kodi muyenera kuchita chiyani ngati mnzanu akuvutika maganizo?
• Mfundo yofunika

Choyamba, dziwani kuti simuli nokha

Kugonana kumayenera kukusiyani wokhutira - koma ngati munamvapo chisoni pambuyo pake, simuli nokha.

"Kawirikawiri kugonana kumalimbikitsa mtima chifukwa cha kutulutsidwa kwa dopamine komanso kuchuluka kwa serotonin, komwe kumapewa kukhumudwa," atero a Lea Lis, MD, katswiri wazamisala yemwe amachita zogonana ndi mchitidwe wina ku Southampton, New York.

Ndipo, akutero, kudzimva wokhumudwa pambuyo pa kugonana - ngakhale kuvomereza, kugonana kwabwino - ndichinthu chomwe anthu ambiri amamva nthawi ina m'moyo wawo.

Kafukufuku wa 2019 adapeza kuti 41 peresenti ya anthu okhala ndi mbolo adakumana nazo pamoyo wawo. Kafukufuku wina adapeza kuti 46 peresenti ya eni maliseche adachitapo kamodzi pa moyo wawo.

Zomwe mukukumana nazo mwina ndi post-coital dysphoria

"Postcoital dysphoria (PCD) amatanthauza kumverera komwe kumachokera pachisoni mpaka nkhawa, kukwiya, kukwiya - makamaka malingaliro aliwonse oyipa atagonana omwe samayembekezeredwa," akufotokoza a Gail Saltz, MD, pulofesa wothandizana ndi zamisala ku NY Presbyterian Hospital Weill -Cornell School of Medicine.

Ikhoza ngakhale kukupangitsani kulira.

PCD imatha kukhala kulikonse kuyambira mphindi 5 mpaka maola 2, ndipo zimatha kuchitika kapena popanda chiwonetsero.

Mwachitsanzo, adapeza kuti zisonyezo za postcoital zidakhalapo atagonana, komanso zogonana komanso kuseweretsa maliseche.

Zimayambitsa chiyani?

"Yankho lalifupi ndiloti sitikudziwa chomwe chimayambitsa PCD," atero a Daniel Sher, katswiri wazamisala komanso wothandizira kugonana pa intaneti. "Sipanapange kafukufuku wokwanira okwanira yemwe wachitika pano."

Ofufuza ali ndi malingaliro ena ngakhale:

Mahomoni anu

"Zitha kukhala zokhudzana ndi mahomoni omwe amakhudzidwa ndichikondi komanso kuphatikana," akutero Sher. "Pogonana, mahomoni, thupi lanu, komanso momwe mumakhudzidwira zimakula."

"Mukukumana ndi gawo losaneneka la kukondoweza, mwakuthupi ndi zina," akupitiliza. "Ndiye, mwadzidzidzi, zonse zimayima ndipo thupi lanu ndi malingaliro anu ziyenera kubwerera pazoyambira. Ndi 'kutsika' kumeneku komwe kumatha kudzetsa vuto la dysphoria. "

Maganizo anu pankhani yogonana

"Lingaliro linanso ndilakuti anthu omwe amakhala ndi chikumbumtima chambiri pazakugonana atha kudwala PCD," akutero Sher. "Izi zimachitika makamaka kwa anthu omwe anakulira m'malo ovuta kapena osasamala, pomwe kugonana kwakhazikitsidwa kuti ndi koyipa kapena koyipa."

Mwinanso mungafunike kupumula pa kugonana.

"Kudzimva kukhala wokhumudwa mutagonana kumatha kungobwera chifukwa choti simunakonzekere kugonana," akutero katswiri wogonana Robert Thomas. "Kudzimva kuti ndiwe wolakwa komanso kukhala ndi nkhawa ukamagonana ukhoza kukhala chisonyezo chakuti ulibe ubale wolimba ndi mnzako."

Maganizo anu pa chibwenzicho

"Kugonana ndichinthu chosangalatsa kwambiri, ndipo kukondana kungatipangitse kuti tizindikire malingaliro ndi malingaliro, zomwe zimaphatikizapo malingaliro achisoni kapena okwiya," akutero a Saltz.

Ngati muli pachibwenzi chosakwaniritsa, sungani chakukhosi kwa wokondedwa wanu, kapena mukumva kuti akukhumudwitsani, izi zimatha kubwereranso panthawi yogonana komanso mutagonana, zimakupangitsani kumva chisoni.

Kuyankhulana kosayenera pambuyo pa kugonana kungayambitsenso.

"Kusakhutira ndi zachiwerewere kungakhale kolemetsa m'maganizo, makamaka ngati zomwe mumayembekezera sizinachitike panthawi yogonana," akutero a Thomas.

Ngati ndi maimidwe a usiku umodzi kapena kulumikizana mwachisawawa, mutha kumvanso chisoni ngati simukumudziwa bwenzi lanu. Mwinamwake mumasungulumwa kapena mwina mumanong'oneza bondo chifukwa chakukumana nawo.

Nkhani za thupi

Zingakhale zovuta kuiwala zazithunzi zomwe mungakhale nazo.

Ngati mumachita manyazi kapena manyazi momwe mumaonekera, zimatha kuyambitsa matenda a PCD, chisoni, kapena kukhumudwa.

Zovuta zam'mbuyomu kapena kuzunzidwa

Ngati mudachitidwapo zachipongwe kapena kuzunzidwa m'mbuyomu, zimatha kubweretsa nkhawa zambiri, mantha, komanso kudziimba mlandu.

Lis ["anthu] omwe adachitidwapo zachipongwe [atha] kuyanjananso ndi anthu omwe adagonedwa pambuyo pake - ngakhale omwe amagwirizana kapena omwe amakhala pachibwenzi - ndi zoipazo."

Izi zitha kudzichititsa manyazi, kudziimba mlandu, kulangidwa, kapena kutayika, ndipo zingakhudze momwe mumamvera zogonana - ngakhale patadutsa nthawi yayitali mutakumana ndi vuto loyambalo.

Njira zina zakukhudzidwira kapena maudindo nawonso zimatha kuyambitsa, makamaka ngati mukukumana ndi PTSD.

Kupsinjika kapena mavuto ena amisala

Ngati mukuvutika kale, kuda nkhawa, kapena kusasangalala m'moyo wanu watsiku ndi tsiku, kugonana kungangokupatsani chisokonezo chakanthawi. Ndizovuta kukhazikitsa malingaliro amenewo kwakanthawi.

Ngati mukukhala ndi vuto la nkhawa kapena kukhumudwa, mwina mungakhale ndi zizindikilo za PCD.

Kodi muyenera kuchita chiyani ngati mukuvutika maganizo?

Choyamba, dziwani kuti chilichonse chomwe mukumva, simuyenera kumva kuti mukuyenera kunamizira kuti mukusangalala ndi mnzanu kapena kubisa momwe mukumvera. Ndibwino kuti mulole kuti mukhale ndi chisoni.

Sher akuti: "Nthawi zina kupsyinjika kofuna kuthetsa chisoni kumapangitsa kuti zikhale zovuta kwambiri kuti munthu azimva bwino."

Chotsatira, fufuzani nokha ndipo onetsetsani kuti mukumva kuti ndinu otetezeka, mwakuthupi ndi m'maganizo.

Ngati mumakhala omasuka, yesetsani kulankhula ndi mnzanu momwe mukumvera. Ngati mukudziwa, auzeni zomwe zikukusowetsani mtendere. Nthawi zina, kungonena momwe mukumvera kumakupangitsani kuti musangalale.

Ngati mungakonde kukhala nokha, ndizobwinanso.

Nawa mafunso abwino omwe mungadzifunse:

• Kodi panali china chake chomwe mnzanga adachita kuti ndiyambe kukhumudwa?
• Ndi chiyani chomwe ndikumva kukhumudwa nacho?
• Kodi ndinakumbukiranso zomwe zinachitika mwankhanza kapena zoopsa?
• Kodi izi zimachitika kwambiri?

"Ngati izi zimachitika nthawi zina, osadandaula za izi, koma lingalirani za zomwe zingachitike kapena zomwe zakubweretserani nkhawa. Itha kukhala yothandiza kwa inu, ”akutero a Saltz.

Fikirani kwa wothandizira zaumoyo

Ngakhale kuti kukhumudwa pambuyo pa kugonana si kwachilendo, ndizosowa kwambiri kumva kukhumudwa mukamachita zogonana pafupipafupi.

Kafukufuku wa 2019 adapeza kuti 3 mpaka 4 peresenti ya anthu okhala ndi mbolo amakhala ndi nkhawa nthawi zonse. Pakafukufuku wina, 5.1% ya anthu omwe ali ndi maliseche adati adamva kangapo m'masabata anayi apitawa.

Malinga ndi a Lis, "zikachitika pafupipafupi, siziyenera kunyalanyazidwa."

Izi ndizowona makamaka ngati kukhumudwa kwanu atagonana ndikusokoneza ubale wanu, kukupangitsani mantha kapena kupewa kukondana kwathunthu, kapena ngati mwakhala mukuzunzidwapo kale.

Wothandizira, wamawonekedwe amisala, kapena akatswiri ena azamisala athe kukuthandizani kudziwa zomwe zikuchitika ndikufufuza njira zamankhwala nanu.

Kodi muyenera kuchita chiyani ngati mnzanu akuvutika maganizo?

Mukawona kuti mnzanu akumva kukhumudwa atagonana, chinthu choyamba - komanso chabwino - chomwe mungachite ndikuwunika zosowa zawo.

Afunseni ngati akufuna kuti akambirane. Ngati atero, mverani. Yesetsani kuti musaweruze.

Funsani ngati pali zomwe mungachite kuti muwathandize. Anthu ena amakonda kugwidwa akakhala achisoni. Ena amangofuna kuti wina azikhala pafupi.

Ngati sakufuna kulankhula za izi, yesetsani kuti musakhumudwe. Mwina sangakhale okonzeka kufotokoza zomwe zimawasowetsa mtendere.

Ngati apempha malo, apatseni - ndipo mobwerezabwereza, yesetsani kuti musapweteke kuti sakukufunani kumeneko.

Ngati anena kuti sakufuna kulankhula za izi kapena kupempha malo, ndibwino kuti muwatsatire tsiku lomwelo kapena ngakhale masiku angapo. Ndikofunika kuti adziwitse kuti mumawathandiza akakhala okonzeka.

Ngati izi zichitika kwambiri, ndibwino kuwafunsa ngati aganiza zokambirana ndi wothandizira kapena akatswiri ena azamisala. Khalani odekha mukafunsa, ndipo yesetsani kuti musakhumudwe ngati akukana lingaliro. Simukufuna kuwapangitsa kumva ngati kuti mukunena kuti aswedwa kapena achotsere nkhawa zawo.

Nthawi zonse mutha kuwafunsa zakupezanso thandizo mtsogolo ngati mulibe nkhawa.

Chinthu chabwino kwambiri chomwe mungachite ngati mnzanu wothandizira ndi kukhala nawo momwe angafunire kuti mukhale.

Mfundo yofunika

Kumva kupsinjika mutagonana ndikofala. Koma ngati zikuchitika pafupipafupi, kusokoneza ubale wanu, kapena kukupangitsani kuti mupewe kugonana komanso chibwenzi chonse, lingalirani kufikira kwa othandizira.

Simone M. Scully ndi wolemba yemwe amakonda kulemba za zinthu zonse zaumoyo ndi sayansi. Pezani Simone patsamba lake, Facebook, ndi Twitter.