Momwe Mungakometse Moyo Wanu Wogonana

Zamkati

• Ngati mukuyenera kukhulupirira mwamuna wanu kapena wogwira naye ntchito wocheza naye, muyenera kusintha moyo wanu wogonana.
• Q. Ndakhala pabanja mosangalala kwa zaka 11 ndipo ndili ndi ana atatu, koma kwa miyezi isanu ndi umodzi yapitayi ndakhala ndikusangalatsidwa ndi kugonana. Kodi pali china chake cholakwika ndi ine?
• Q. Chibwenzi changa nthawi zonse chimafuna kuchita m'mawa, koma ndimachikonda usiku. Kodi tingatani kuti moyo wathu wogonana ugwirizane?
• Q. Kugonana kumapweteka, choncho ndasiya kukhala nawo. Chikuchitika ndi chiani? Kodi nchifukwa ninji ndikumavutika ndi kugonana kopweteka chonchi?
• Q. Sindinagonepo kuyambira pomwe chibwenzi chidatha chaka chapitacho, ndipo sindikuchiphonyanso. Kodi kuyendetsa kwanga kwayenda bwino?
• Q. Ndimakhumba zogonana kuposa momwe amachitira amuna anga. Kodi libido yake yotsika ingatanthauze kuti sakundikondanso?
• Q. Posachedwa ndidamwa mapiritsi kuti ndigone popanda kuda nkhawa kuti nditenga mimba, koma tsopano sindimakhala wokondwa. Kodi libido yanga yocheperako ingakhale gawo la zovuta zanga zobereka?
• Q. Anyamata ali ndi Viagra. Kodi pali chilichonse chomwe chingawonjezere libido yachikazi?
• Q. Kwa zaka zambiri ndinkagonana ndi anyamata omwe sindinkawakonda. Tsopano ndili ndi bambo amene ndimamukonda ndipo ndikufuna kukwatira, koma sindikufuna kuti ndizing'amba zovala zake. Kodi ubalewu watha?
• Q. Sindikumva kuti ndatsegulidwa mpaka nditagonana. Kodi izi ndi zachilendo?
• Yembekezerani Maonekedwe kuti mumve zambiri muyenera kuphunzira momwe mungakometsere moyo wanu wogonana ndikukhala ndi ubale wabwino.
• Onaninso za

Ngati mukuyenera kukhulupirira mwamuna wanu kapena wogwira naye ntchito wocheza naye, muyenera kusintha moyo wanu wogonana.

Malinga ndi iwo, simukugonana kwambiri monga momwe muyenera kuchitira. Sankhani amayi ochepa pabwalo lamasewera, komabe, ndipo adzakhala ndi malingaliro osiyana pankhaniyi. Ndiye ndani akulondola ndipo ndani akulakwitsa? Ndipo ngati galimoto yanu yangoyamba kumene, kodi pali chilichonse chimene mungachite nacho? Tidafunsa owerenga zomwe akufuna kudziwa za libido, kenako adafunsa mafunso ku gulu la akatswiri. Mayankho awo amakupangitsani kuganiziranso tanthauzo la "zabwinobwino" ndikukuthandizani kuti mukhale ndi moyo wathanzi komanso wotentha kwambiri wogonana.

Q. Ndakhala pabanja mosangalala kwa zaka 11 ndipo ndili ndi ana atatu, koma kwa miyezi isanu ndi umodzi yapitayi ndakhala ndikusangalatsidwa ndi kugonana. Kodi pali china chake cholakwika ndi ine?

A. "Ayi! Kukhala ndi ana ndi ntchito yanthawi zonse, motero sizosadabwitsa kuti kugonana ndikubwezeretsanso kumbuyo udindo wanu," akutero Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., pulofesa wa zachikhalidwe cha anthu ku University of Washington. "Usanadziwe, miyezi ingapo yadutsa."

Ngati mukufuna kukonza moyo wanu wogonana, nayi njira yoyamba yotsitsimutsira libido: Khalani ndi nthawi yanu.

Sungani sitter masana angapo sabata kapena funsani amuna anu kapena mnzanu wapamtima kuti alowemo ndikuchita nawo masewera olimbitsa thupi. Kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi sikuti kumangokupatsani mphamvu, kumathandizanso kuti mukhale ndi nkhawa komanso kudzidalira.

Mukamachita izi, chitani zinthu zomwe zimakupangitsani kukhala osiririka. Gwirani mizu yanu, pezani pedicure, kapena kungoti spritz pa mafuta onunkhira omwe mumakonda (ngakhale mutangotenga ana mumasewera a mpira). Pambuyo pa milungu ingapo, muyenera kuyambanso kudzimva ngati inuyo m’malo moti “mayi ake akuti-ndi-akuti ndipo chidwi chanu chofuna kugonana chidzabwereranso, akutero Schwartz.” (Ngati zimenezo sizichitika, lankhulani ndi dokotala wanu kapena wamankhwala; nkhani yokulirapo, monga kukhumudwa, itha kukhala yoyambitsa.)

Ntchito ina yoti mugwire mukakhala otanganidwa: zogonana. “Nthaŵi zina umafunika kuchipeza ngakhale pamene suli nacho,” anatero Terry Real, dokotala wa ku Boston. M'malo modikirira mkokomo wa chilakolako, kumpsompsona ndi kusisitana wina ndi mnzake ndikulola zinthu zipite patsogolo. Palibe chomwe chingachitike izi kangapo koyamba, kapena mungafunike kudzikakamiza. Koma, monga kudzikokera nokha kumalo ochitira masewera olimbitsa thupi mukafuna kukhala pabedi, mudzakhala okondwa kuti mwachita izi.

Pofuna kuti galimoto yanu isayende pang'ono, pitirizani kutulutsa nthawi ya "ine" ndikukonzekera anthu ochepa okha kumapeto kwa sabata limodzi ndi amuna anu (funsani wachibale ngati angathe kugona usiku, kenako thawirani ku hotelo yakomweko). Ngati n'kosatheka kuthawa, sungani munthu wokhala pansi ndikupita kukadya ndi filimu.

Q. Chibwenzi changa nthawi zonse chimafuna kuchita m'mawa, koma ndimachikonda usiku. Kodi tingatani kuti moyo wathu wogonana ugwirizane?

A. Musanachite chilichonse chofananira, muyenera kudziwa chifukwa chake nthawi yanu yatha. Anyamata nthawi zambiri amafuna kugonana chifukwa amangodzuka (kutanthauzira: amadzuka ndikumangirira), pomwe azimayi ambiri amafunika kuti azikhala omasuka kuti azitha kuchita zinthu zomwe zingachitike mdima usanachitike. Kusatetezeka kwa thupi ndi kupsinjika maganizo kungathenso kuika mabuleki pa maulendo a m'mawa. Ndizovuta kusiya ngati mukuda nkhawa ndi momwe abs anu amawonekera mukamapita masana kapena mukupanga mndandanda wa zochita m'mutu mwanu.

"Khalani owona mtima ndi anyamata anu chifukwa chake simukugonana m'mawa ndikumufunsa ngati mungasinthanitsane nthawi zonse," atero a Real. Sungani mithunzi pansi ndi mapepala ngati zingakupangitseni kukhala omasuka, koma yesetsani kukumbukira kuti bwenzi lanu limakukondani ndipo limakupangitsani kukhala osiririka komanso kuti mndandanda wanu umatha kudikirira mpaka mutadya kadzutsa. Kuti mumukwere nthawi yamadzulo, yesetsani kudya chakudya chamadzulo ndikuzimitsa TV koyambirira kwa masiku angapo pa sabata. Komanso perekani Loweruka kapena Lamlungu masana; iwo akhoza kukhala wangwiro maziko apakati.

Q. Kugonana kumapweteka, choncho ndasiya kukhala nawo. Chikuchitika ndi chiani? Kodi nchifukwa ninji ndikumavutika ndi kugonana kopweteka chonchi?

A. Manja pansi, chifukwa ambiri zowawa kugonana ndi ukazi dryness. Koma - ndipo apa ndi pomwe zimatha kukhala zosokoneza - zitha kukhala chifukwa cha zinthu zingapo.

"Choyamba, mukufuna kupewa matenda a ukazi, matenda opatsirana pogonana, kusokonezeka kwa chithokomiro, zinthu monga vulvodynia kapena endometriosis, ndi mavuto a mahomoni, monga perimenopause," akutero Margaret Wierman, MD, pulofesa wa zamankhwala, physiology, ndi biophysics ku yunivesite. ku Colorado.

Bweretsani mndandanda wazizindikiro kwa azimayi anu azachipatala, ndipo muyembekezere kuti azichita mayeso m'chiuno komanso kuyesa magazi omwe angayese kuchuluka kwa mahomoni anu.

Osachita mantha: Matenda ambiri a ukazi amatha kuchiritsidwa, ndipo dokotala wabwino adzatha kupereka njira zopangira kugonana momasuka panthawiyi.

Ngati mayesero onse atha kukhala olakwika, mwina simunadzuke kwathunthu chifukwa chake simukupanga mafuta okwanira. Izi zimapangitsa kukangana komanso misozi yaying'ono kwambiri mumtsinje wa abambo, zomwe sizosadabwitsa kuti zitha kukhala zofunkha zenizeni.

Kuti vutoli lithe, gwiritsani ntchito mafuta opangira madzi, monga KY Brand Jelly (peŵani mafuta a petroleum, omwe angayambitse kupsa mtima komanso kuwononga makondomu a latex). Kenako itengeni pang'onopang'ono: Khalani ndi nthawi yochulukirapo pakusewera ndi wokondedwa wanu, kupsompsonana ndikugwirana wina ndi mnzake. Mutha kukhala ndi vuto lodzutsidwa chifukwa chodandaula kuti kugonana kudzapwetekanso, koma pambuyo pazochitika zabwino zingapo, nkhawa iyenera kuchepa.

Q. Sindinagonepo kuyambira pomwe chibwenzi chidatha chaka chapitacho, ndipo sindikuchiphonyanso. Kodi kuyendetsa kwanga kwayenda bwino?

A. Mwamwayi, ayi. Mukudziwa momwe thupi lanu limasokonekera mukapanda kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi? Chabwino, zimakhala kuti libido yanu imakhala yofewa pang'ono pambuyo pa kutha kwa ubale chifukwa palibe amene angakupangitseni kugwedezeka.

Kafukufuku wa University of Vienna anapeza kuti milingo ya oxytocin ya oxytocin ya kumverera bwino imawonjezeka kwambiri mukakhala ndi orgasm, kotero mumakhala ndi chilakolako champhamvu cha kugonana mukamagonana kwambiri. Ngati simungakumbukire mpukutu wanu womaliza mu udzu, ubongo wanu ukhoza kuyimitsa kuyendetsa galimoto. Koma tikhulupirireni: Mukakumana ndi munthu wotentha yemwe wangosunthira pakhomo lotsatira, abweranso. Simukusowa mnzanu kuti mpira ugwedezeke, komabe; kudzikonda nokha 'kumapangitsa kuti kugonana kwanu kukhale kolimba ngakhale simunakwatire. "Mukamadzutsidwa nthawi zambiri, zimakhala zosavuta kuti ubongo ndi thupi lanu zizitsatira," akutero katswiri wazamaphunziro André T. Guay, MD, director of the Center for Sexual Function ku Lahey Clinic ku Peabody, Massachusetts. Ngati zikukuvutani kufika pachimake mukadzikhudza nokha, yesani kugwiritsa ntchito vibrator, kapena kutsitsa thukuta lachiwerewere, monga Zopeka Zachikazi.

Q. Ndimakhumba zogonana kuposa momwe amachitira amuna anga. Kodi libido yake yotsika ingatanthauze kuti sakundikondanso?

A. Timamva nthawi zonse: Anyamata amatsika ndikudetsedwa nthawi iliyonse, kulikonse. Ngakhale zili choncho kwa ambiri, makamaka achichepere, sizomwe zimachitika. Amuna ena amakhala ndi chilakolako chochepa cha kugonana, monga momwe akazi ena amachitira. Koma ngati chilakolako chogonana cha mwamuna wanu changopita kumene kumwera, mwina pali chifukwa chakuthupi kapena maganizo.

Angakhale akukumana ndi zovuta kuti agone, zomwe zingakhale zokhumudwitsa kwambiri, wasiya kuyesera kugonana. "Kuthamanga kwa magazi ndi mavuto a prostate zimatha kukhudza kutha kwamnyamata kuti atseguke kapena kutulutsa umuna," akutero a Wierman. "Mankhwala ambiri wamba monga cholesterol- komanso kuthamanga kwa magazi kutsitsa mankhwala, komanso mankhwala ena opatsirana amathandizanso pa ntchito ya erectile." Kukaonana ndi dokotala komanso kuyezetsa magazi kosavuta kumatha kudziwa chifukwa chomwe chimayambitsa kuchepa kwa libido.

Chifukwa chokhudzidwa mtima ndi chovuta kutchula (tikulankhula za amuna, pambuyo pake!). Kodi akuwoneka kuti ali ndi nkhawa posachedwa? "Kuda nkhawa kumatha kubweretsa testosterone yocheperako," akutero a Guay. Kusakondweretsedwa kwake kungayambikenso chifukwa cha vuto muubwenzi wanu. "Mnyamata akakhala kuti samakukondani, mwina sangakuuzeni," akutero Real. "Adzayamba kukhala ndi chidwi chokhala pachibwenzi."

Yambani kukambirana za nkhaniyi musanagone. Yesani kuuza mwamuna wanu kuti mukufuna kugonana pafupipafupi ndikumufunsa ngati pali chilichonse chomwe mungachite kuti asangalale nazo. Ngati nonsenu simungathe kukonza vutolo nokha, funsani thandizo kwa akatswiri.

Q. Posachedwa ndidamwa mapiritsi kuti ndigone popanda kuda nkhawa kuti nditenga mimba, koma tsopano sindimakhala wokondwa. Kodi libido yanga yocheperako ingakhale gawo la zovuta zanga zobereka?

A. Ndizotheka. "Palibe maphunziro omwe akutsimikizira kuti njira zakulera zakumwa zimachepetsa chilakolako chogonana, koma mankhwala enawa amachepetsa testosterone," akutero a Wierman. (Hormone iyi imawonjezera magazi kutuluka kumaliseche kwanu, kukulitsa momwe mumayankhira pakukondweretsedwa ndi kugonana.) Chifukwa azimayi ambiri amamva kuti mapiritsi amathetsa chikhumbo chawo, kuthekera kwakuti mukuvutika ndi zovuta zakulera ndiyofunika kuziganizira.

"Lankhulani ndi dokotala wanu za kumwa mankhwala oletsa kumwa pakamwa ndikugwiritsa ntchito kondomu kapena chotsekemera kwa miyezi ingapo," akutero a Guay. "Mukawona kusintha, mwina mwapeza wolakwayo." Kusinthira kumtundu wina wamapiritsi kungathandizenso? funsani dokotala wanu za mitundu yomwe ili ndi mawonekedwe a progestin omwe sangakhudze milingo yanu ya testosterone.

Ndipo musapeputse udindo waubwenzi wanu pa izi: Ngati mwakhala limodzi kwakanthawi, mwina mutha kukhala ndi chizolowezi. Sakanizani zinthu (yesani kuzipeza kwina kupatula chipinda chanu!) Ndipo mutha kuyambiranso kugonana.

Q. Anyamata ali ndi Viagra. Kodi pali chilichonse chomwe chingawonjezere libido yachikazi?

A. Ayi, koma mutha kubetcha ofufuza akufuna kwambiri ng'ombe yamphongo ija. Mankhwala monga Viagra amachulukitsa magazi kupita ku mbolo, ndikupangitsa kuti pakhale erection. Kafukufuku akuwonetsa kuti mankhwala ena amakhudzanso maliseche amkazi, koma chifukwa timafunikira zoposa izi kuti titsegule, sizokwanira kuwonjezera libido yachikazi.

Testosterone kaya ndi mapiritsi, chigamba, kapena mawonekedwe am'mutu amawoneka kuti amapatsa azimayi ena libido. Pakafukufuku wina, chidutswacho chidakulitsa chidwi cha azimayi omwe adayikidwa m'ndende (pafupifupi 50 peresenti). Koma sizikudziwika ngati mahomoni amathandiza azimayi ena konse. Kuphatikiza apo, kafukufuku waposachedwa apeza kuti pali zovuta zina zomwe zingachitike kwa azimayi omwe amagwiritsa ntchito mankhwala a testosterone, kuphatikiza ziphuphu komanso kukula kwatsitsi.

"Sitikudziwa kuchuluka kwa testosterone mwa akazi," akutero a Wierman. "Ndipo ngakhale testosterone yotsika imatha kuchepetsa kuyendetsa kwanu, palibe umboni wotsimikizika wosonyeza kuti kukweza timadzi m'thupi ndikothandiza kapena kotetezeka."

Q. Kwa zaka zambiri ndinkagonana ndi anyamata omwe sindinkawakonda. Tsopano ndili ndi bambo amene ndimamukonda ndipo ndikufuna kukwatira, koma sindikufuna kuti ndizing'amba zovala zake. Kodi ubalewu watha?

A. Pokhapokha ngati mupitiliza kufananiza chibwenzi chanu ndi malawi akale aja. Ndizomvetsa chisoni, koma kupezeka kungakoleze chikhumbo. "Mkazi akamva kuti amakondedwa, ndiye kuti amakanidwa, ndiyeno kukondedwanso - zomwe zimachitika m'maubwenzi opanda thanzi - kugonana nthawi zambiri kumakhala kosangalatsa," akutero Schwartz. "Chomwe chikuwonjezera ndi kusatsimikizika kuti mudzapeza chidwi chotani."

M'kupita kwa nthawi, akutero Schwartz, mudzakhala osangalala komanso okhutitsidwa ndi ubale wodzipereka ndi zonse zomwe zimadza nazo, monga kukhulupirirana, kuyanjana, ndi mtsinje wokhazikika wa chikondi ndi chikondi. Ndipo ngati mumakopeka wina ndi mnzake komanso kulumikizana, kugonana kumangokulira ndikuchita. Yesani kuyesa njira zatsopano zogonana, zoseweretsa, ndi malo. "Pangani chikondi pagombe kapena kusamba limodzi," akutero. "Lingaliro ndikupanga mtundu watsopano wachisangalalo."

Q. Sindikumva kuti ndatsegulidwa mpaka nditagonana. Kodi izi ndi zachilendo?

A. Kwathunthu. Amayi ena amadzutsidwa ndikungoganiza zongogonana, pomwe ena amafunika kuwalimbikitsa pang'ono kuti ayambe. Ziribe kanthu kuti ndinu mkazi wamtundu wanji, sizachilendo, akutero a Wierman. Miyezo yanu ya testosterone ikhoza kukhala pang'ono kumbali yotsika, ndikukupangitsani kuvomereza kugonana koma osati kulakalaka kwenikweni. Ndipo palibe vuto lalikulu. Funso lenileni ndilakuti, kodi mfundo yoti kuyendetsa kwanu sikulowerera kumakuvutitsani? Ngati sichoncho ndipo mumakonda kukhala pachibwenzi komanso kukhala ndi vuto, libido yanu "ndiyabwino" kwa inu.

Yembekezerani Maonekedwe kuti mumve zambiri muyenera kuphunzira momwe mungakometsere moyo wanu wogonana ndikukhala ndi ubale wabwino.

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