Momwe Mungadziwire Ngati Ndinu (Kwenikweni) Wokonzekera Ubale

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Mukuganiza kuti mwakonzeka kukhala pachibwenzi? Ino ndi nthawi yoti muyang'ane nokha ndikuwona ngati mwakonzekadi kukhala ndi chibwenzi. Ngakhale mungadziuze kuti ndinu wokonzeka komanso wokonzeka kukhazikika ndi munthu wina, choyamba muyenera kuyang'ana khalidwe lanu. Pamapeto pake, khalidwe lanu-osati zomwe mukunena-ndizonena zoona.

Gawo laposachedwa ndi kasitomala wanga kumapeto kwa zaka za m'ma 20s likuwonetseratu kukoka pakati pazomwe timaganiza kuti tikufuna motsutsana ndi zomwe tikufuna. Jake adakhala pabedi lobiriwira lobiriwira muofesi yanga ndikusewera ndi zipper pa hoodie yake. Adalankhulanso za moyo wake wachikondi ndipo anali atangomaliza kufotokoza zina zomwe adakumana nazo, nthawi ino ndi mayi yemwe adakumana naye Loweruka lapitali usiku. "Ndikungofuna chibwenzi," adatero, akuyang'ana pawindo ndikupumira kwambiri. M’chiganizo chimodzi chachidule, anafotokoza mwachidule zimene ankaganiza kuti akufuna.

Mwachidule, ndinkangoona zinthu mosiyana. Jake sanafune kwenikweni chibwenzi, monga momwe amayesera kudziuza yekha mosiyana. Ndinadziwa bwanji? Chifukwa machitidwe ake adandiuza zomwe amafuna. Amakhala kumapeto kwa sabata akumenya mabala ndi azinzake ndikukhala ndi zolumikizira zomwe sizinapite kulikonse. Kodi machitidwe a Jake adawonetsa kuti zomwe amafuna ndizolumikizana? Kuti anakana kotheratu ponena kuti akufuna chibwenzi? Ndi Jake, monga ndi anthu ambiri, zenizeni siziri zakuda ndi zoyera. Chowonadi ndichakuti Jake anali wotsutsana: Gawo lina la iye limafuna chibwenzi chenicheni ndi bwenzi, pomwe gawo linalo limakonda zabwino zomwe zimadza ndi zolumikizana.

Mwachidule, machitidwe a Jake adawonetsa kuti sanali wokonzeka kukhala pachibwenzi. Kuti akafike kumeneko, anafunika kukhala wozindikira kwambiri ponena za amene anali naye paubwenzi; kudzipangira mankhwala ocheperako chifukwa chokwera mowa ndi zochitika zina; ndikusakanikirana ndi zomwe amachita kumapeto kwa sabata ndi zochitika zosiyanasiyana kuposa kupita kumabala ndi zibonga zomwezo. Komanso, Jake sali yekha. Ndikudziwa ndikugwira ntchito ndi amuna ndi akazi ambiri omwe amanena kuti akufuna ubale weniweni pamene khalidwe lawo likuwonetseratu zosiyana.

Zikafika kwa inu ndi moyo wachikondi, machitidwe anu ndiye malo oyamba kuyamba kudzifunsa ngati mulidi okonzeka kukhala pa chibwenzi. Njira yokhayo yomwe mungapezere ndikusunga chibwenzi choyenera ndikuti mukayamba maziko olimba, zomwe zikutanthauza kuti muyenera kukhala ndi (bleep) yanu limodzi.

Pamene mwakonzekadi kukhala ndi unansi wabwino wachikulire, makhalidwe anu adzasonyeza mmene mulili wolinganizika. Onani zina mwazofunikira kuti mukhale okonzekera chibwenzi pansipa.

1. Tchalitchi chanu si malo ochitiramo mowa kapena kalabu yausiku. Kupita ku mipiringidzo kapena makalabu ausiku si chinthu choipa kapena cholepheretsa kupeza ubale wabwino. Nkhani imakhudzanso mmene mumamvera komanso mmene mumachitira zinthu mukakhalapo zomwe zimasonyeza ngati mwakonzekadi kukhala pachibwenzi. Ngati mumamwa mowa kwambiri mukamatuluka, simungakwanitse kuyambitsa chibwenzi. Zachidziwikire, mutha kukumana ndi munthu wina, koma simunthu wanu wabwino yemwe mukumuyika patsogolo, chifukwa chake mutha kukhala ndi wina yemwe siwabwino kwa inu. Ngati mumakonda kutuluka koma mukufuna chibwenzi, palibe cholakwika ndi izi: Dziwonetseni kwa anthu ndipo mukakumana ndi munthu amene mumamukonda, konzekerani kuti mukakumane naye kumalo osiyanasiyana.

2. Mwalingalira chifukwa chomwe maubwenzi anu akale sanayendere. Palibe nthawi yokwanira kusewera "masewera olakwa" kuposa mukathetsa chibwenzi. Aliyense amakonda kuloza mnzake chala, koma pamafunika anthu awiri kuti asokoneze ubale. Pamene mwakonzekadi paubwenzi wina, mukhoza kuyang'ana mmbuyo pa maubwenzi akale ndikuwona makhalidwe omwe munapanga nawo omwe anali opanda thanzi komanso osapindulitsa. Kuphatikiza apo, mukamayang'ana kumbuyo kumayanjanowo, simumva kuti mukudikira kowawa. Mutha kukwiyira wakale wanu pazifukwa zomveka, koma simumva zowawa (kumverera komwe kumaphatikizana ndi mkwiyo ndi kusowa chiyembekezo).

3. Mwapuma pantchito. Sikuti mumangodziwa chifukwa chake maubale akale sanagwire ntchito, tsopano mutha kunena-ndikumva bwino-kuti mwapuma pantchito yomwe ikubwera ndi maubale oyipa ndipo mwakonzeka kukhazikika ndikukhala ndi ubale weniweni wachikulire. Mukamva abwenzi akukambirana za zomwe achita ndi-ndi-omwe anawayimilira kapena ndewu zawo zotsatiridwa ndi kugonana kopanga-zopenga, mumadandaula ndikudzikumbutsa kuti mulibenso malo a seweroli m'moyo wanu. Mumamva kuti ndinu anzeru, okhwima, komanso mukudziwa kuposa kale zomwe mukufuna komanso zomwe mukufuna kuchokera kwa bwenzi lanu lotsatira.

Cholinga cha aliyense ndikufanizira zomwe akunena kuti akufuna ndi machitidwe omwe amachita, ndipo ndizovuta kwambiri kuposa momwe zimamvekera. Komabe, ngati muyang'anitsitsa momwe mumamvera komanso khalidwe lanu, mudzakhala sitepe imodzi pafupi ndi ubale womwe uli wabwino kwa inu.

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