Momwe Ubale Wanu Umasinthira Pakugwa

Zamkati

• Nyengo ya kukumbatirana (ndi kukumbatirana zina)
• Pali 'zenizeni' ku ubale wanu
• Ndi nthawi ya 'kukumana ndi makolo'
• Chikondi chili m'mlengalenga
• Onaninso za

Yophukira ndi nthawi yosintha, nyengo ikamazizira komanso kuzizira ndipo, masambawo amakhala okongola, amasintha kuchokera ku zobiriwira kukhala mitundu yakuda ya kapezi ndi golide. Chowonadi ndi chakuti, pakufufuza, ubale wathu umadziwikanso kuti umakhala ndikusintha.

Nyengoyi imadziwika kuti imalimbikitsa kuyanjana pakati pa maanja, pazifukwa zosiyanasiyana, kuphatikiza kubwera kwamaholide okhudzana ndi mabanja, monga Thanksgiving. Zomwe kale zinali nthawi ya "kubwerera kusukulu" yakhala nthawi yoti "tibwerere kumapeto" tikamabwerera kuntchito yathu nthawi yachilimwe. Izi zimabweretsa "zenizeni" potengera kusinthika kwa maubale athu, akufotokoza Dr. The Relationship Fix: Maupangiri a 6 a Dr. Jenn Opititsa patsogolo Kuyankhulana, Kulumikizana, ndi Ubwenzi.

Apa, tikufunsa Dr. Jenn-katswiri pankhani yoyendetsa ebbs/kuyenda kwa coupledom-za njira zomwe tingayembekezere kuti maubwenzi athu akule mu kugwa:

Nyengo ya kukumbatirana (ndi kukumbatirana zina)

Pali maphunziro (kuphatikiza izi kuchokera ku Journal of Consumer Research) zomwe zikuwonetsa kuti, mukamazizira, mumafuna kutentha "kwamalingaliro", komwe kumadza chifukwa chokomana. (Chifukwa mumafunikira phunziroli kuti mutsimikizire.) Pali kuyandikana komwe kumachitika nyengo ikazizira, ndipo sizingakhale bwino pa maubwenzi akale / atsopano. Mwayi wokambirana (monga, kukambirana kwenikweni) ndiwodabwitsa, monganso mwayi wochita nawo zinthu zomwe zimayandikira pafupi, monga kusewera masewera a Scrabble.

"Nyengo imayamba kuzizira, kotero nyengo imakhala yosangalatsa kwambiri, ndipo ndi nthawi yochuluka yokumbatirana pamoto ndikukhala ndi kukambirana nthawi yaitali," akutero Dr. Jenn. "Ndi mwayi wochita zambiri 'zosangalatsa'."

Pali 'zenizeni' ku ubale wanu

Maubwenzi omwe adayamba mchaka / chilimwe ndiosangalatsa kwambiri: amapezeka mdziko lapansi lokhala ndi maulendo opita, omwe ali ndi mwayi wopita kutchuthi. Koma kugwa, pali "chenicheni" chomwe chimachitika. Ino ndi nyengo yomwe imapereka mwayi womvetsetsa kukwera komanso kuchepa kocheza ndi mnzanu. Ndi nthawi yoti muzindikire pamene mukubwerera ku zizolowezi zanu, nthawi yomwe mungathe kufufuza kuya kwa ubale wanu.

"Chimodzi mwazinthu zabwino zakugwa ndikuti, nthawi yotentha, ndi nthawi ya 'chilumba chodabwitsa'," akutero Dr. Jenn. "Tikupita kutchuthi, tikuyenda pamphepete mwa nyanja, ndipo tikugona pafupi ndi dziwe. Tikuchita izi "zongopeka pachilumba". Zili ngati The Bachelor, kumene amapita. tchuthi chonse. Koma, kugwa kukufika, kumapangitsa ubale wathu kukhala weniweni m'njira yabwino kwambiri. Sitikudziwa ngati chibwenzi chitha kugwira ntchito mpaka titaziyesa 'm'moyo weniweni.' Ngati muli ndi ana, mukuwatengera kusukulu ndipo mukulimbana ndi zitsenderezo zonsezo. Mukugwira ntchito mwakhama. Ndi moyo weniweniwo.

Ndi nthawi ya 'kukumana ndi makolo'

Nyengoyi ili ndi zochitika zokhudzana ndi mabanja, kuphatikiza Thanksgiving komanso Khrisimasi ndi Hannukah, ndipo ndikofunikira kumvetsetsa makolo a mnzanu komanso ubale wawo nawo. Nthawi zambiri, kukumana ndi makolo ndi mwayi wodziwa zamtsogolo. Inde, pakhoza kukhala mantha olandila madalitso awo, koma izi ndizambiri zakuzindikira kwanu monga zawo. Kodi banja la mnzako ndi miyambo yawo ndi zina zimagwirizana bwanji ndi zako? Gwiritsani ntchito mwayi - uwu ndi mwayi wolumikizana.

"Nthawi zonse ndi sitepe yaikulu kuchita sitepe yoyamba ndi maholide ndi kukumana ndi banja," Dr. Jenn akutero. "Ndi chinthu chomwe chimathandiza kwambiri kupititsa patsogolo ubale."

Chikondi chili m'mlengalenga

Maola ochepa a dzuwa omwe amatanthauzira nyengoyi ndi abwino kwambiri pakulowa kwadzuwa komanso kugwirizana pambuyo pa kulowa kwa dzuwa. Lowani mu chikondi chamadzulo akuda ndi zochitika zomwe zili m'modzi-m'modzi, monga chakudya chamadzulo, ndikukumbatira kugonana kwanyengo!

"Nthawi yausiku ndiyabwino kwambiri kuposa nthawi yamasana," akutero, "Dzuwa likulowa koyambirira, komwe kumapangitsa kuti kukhale bwino, kulowa kwa dzuwa komanso chakudya chamadzulo chifukwa simungayatse makandulo dzuwa likadalipo."

Yolembedwa ndi Elizabeth Quinn Brown. Uthengawu udasindikizidwa koyamba pa blog ya ClassPass, The Warm Up. ClassPass ndi umembala wamwezi uliwonse womwe umakugwirizanitsani ndi ma studio opitilira 8,500 padziko lonse lapansi. Kodi mwakhala mukuganiza zakuyesera? Yambani tsopano pa Base Plan ndikupeza makalasi asanu mwezi wanu woyamba $ 19 yokha.

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