Ndamaliza Kukhala Chete Zokhudza Kudzipha

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Monga ambiri a inu, ndidakhumudwa ndikumva chisoni kumva zaimfa ya Chester Bennington, makamaka nditangotaya Chris Cornell miyezi ingapo yapitayo. Linkin Park inali gawo lofunikira paunyamata wanga. Ndimakumbukira ndikugula chimbale cha Hybrid Theory zaka zanga zoyambilira kusukulu yasekondale ndikumamvetsera mobwerezabwereza, limodzi ndi abwenzi komanso ndekha. Imeneyi inali phokoso latsopano, ndipo inali yaiwisi. Mutha kumva kukhudzidwa ndi kuwawa kwamawu a Chester, ndipo adatithandiza ambiri kuthana ndi achinyamata athu. Tinkakonda kuti anatipangira nyimboyi, koma sitinasiye kuganizira zomwe ankakumana nazo pamene ankazipanga.

Ndikukula, mwana wanga wachinyamata adasanduka wamkulu wamkulu: Ndine m'modzi mwa anthu osauka okwanira 43.8 miliyoni ku America omwe ali ndi mavuto amisala. Ndikulimbana ndi OCD (kuyang'ana kwambiri O), kuvutika maganizo, nkhawa, ndi maganizo ofuna kudzipha. Ndakhala ndikumwa mowa mopitirira muyeso ndikumva ululu. Ndadzicheka-zonse kuti ndichepetse kupwetekedwa mtima kwanga ndikuwonetsetsa kuti ndimatha kumva chilichonse-ndipo ndimawonabe mabalawo tsiku lililonse.

Mfundo yanga yotsika kwambiri idachitika mu Marichi 2016, pomwe ndidapita kuchipatala kuti ndidziphe. Ndinagona pabedi lachipatala mumdima, ndikuyang'ana anamwino akujambula makabati ndikuteteza chida chilichonse chomwe chingagwiritsidwe ntchito ngati chida, ndinangoyamba kulira. Ndinadabwa kuti ndafika bwanji pano, zafika poipa bwanji. Ndinagunda mwamphamvu m'malingaliro mwanga. Mwamwayi, imeneyo inali nthawi yanga yodzuka kuti ndisinthe moyo wanga. Ndinayamba kulemba blog yonena zaulendo wanga, ndipo sindinakhulupirire thandizo lomwe ndapeza. Anthu adayamba kuchita nawo nkhani zawo, ndipo ndidazindikira kuti pali ambiri tomwe timachita izi mwakachetechete kuposa momwe ndimaganizira poyamba. Ndinasiya kusungulumwa.

Chikhalidwe chathu nthawi zambiri chimanyalanyaza mavuto azaumoyo (timanenabe zakudzipha ngati "kumwalira" kuti tipewe kukambirana za zovuta kwambiri), koma ndatha kunyalanyaza mutu woti kudzipha. Sindichita manyazi kukambirana za mavuto anga, ndipo palibenso wina aliyense amene akudwala matenda amisala amene ayenera kuchita manyazi. Nditangoyamba blog yanga, ndimamva kuti ndili ndi mphamvu podziwa kuti nditha kuthandiza anthu china chake chomwe chimawagwera.

Moyo wanga udachita 180 pomwe ndidayamba kuvomereza kuti ndine woyenera kukhala padziko lino lapansi. Ndinayamba kupita kuchipatala, kumwa mankhwala ndi mavitamini, kuchita yoga, kusinkhasinkha, kudya thanzi, kudzipereka, ndikufikira anthu ndikamadzimva ndikupita kudzenje lamdima. Chotsirizachi mwina ndichikhalidwe chovuta kwambiri kutsatira, koma ndichimodzi mwazofunikira kwambiri. Sitinalengedwe kukhala tokha m’dzikoli.

Nyimbo zanyimbo zili ndi njira yotikumbutsa zimenezo. Amatha kufotokoza zomwe tikumva kapena kuganiza, ndikukhala chithandizo chamankhwala munthawi zovuta. Palibe kukayika kuti Chester adathandizira anthu ambiri kudutsa nthawi zovuta m'miyoyo yawo kudzera mu nyimbo zake ndikuwapangitsa kuti asamakhale okha pamavuto awo. Monga wokonda, ndimamva ngati ndikulimbana ndi iye, ndipo zimandimvetsa chisoni kwambiri kuti sindidzathanso kukondwerera naye-kusangalala ndikupeza kuwala mumdima, kusangalala ndikupeza chilimbikitso pambuyo pa nkhondoyi. Ndikuganiza kuti ndi nyimbo yoti tonse tizilemba.

Kodi tikudwala? Inde. Kodi tawonongeka mpaka kalekale? Ayi. Kodi sitingathe kuthandizidwa? Ayi sichoncho. Monga momwe munthu wodwala matenda a mtima kapena matenda a shuga amafunira (ndipo amayenera) chithandizo, ifenso. Koma vuto n’lakuti, amene alibe matenda a maganizo kapena chifundo amavutika kukambirana nawo. Tikuyembekezeredwa kudzikoka tokha ndikutulukamo, chifukwa aliyense amakhumudwa nthawi zina, sichoncho? Amakhala ngati palibe chomwe chiwonetsero choseketsa pa Netflix kapena kuyenda paki sichingakonzeke, ndipo sikumapeto kwa dziko lapansi! Koma nthawi zina amachita kumverera ngati kutha kwa dziko. Ichi ndichifukwa chake zimandipweteka kumva anthu akutcha Chester "wodzikonda" kapena "wamantha" pazomwe adachita. Iye sali chirichonse cha zinthu zimenezo; ndi munthu yemwe adalephera kudziletsa ndipo analibe thandizo lomwe amafunikira kuti apulumuke.

Sindine katswiri wa zamisala, koma monga munthu amene adakhalapo, ndingangonena kuti chithandizo ndi anthu ammudzi ndizofunikira kwambiri ngati tikufuna kuwona kusintha kwamaganizidwe kukhala abwino. Ngati mukuganiza kuti wina yemwe mumamudziwa akuvutika (Nazi zina mwaziwopsezo zofunika kuziyang'ana), chonde, chonde kukambirana nawo "kosasangalatsa". Sindikudziwa kuti ndikadakhala kuti ndikadakhala wopanda amayi anga, omwe amayesa kuyang'anira pafupipafupi kuti awone momwe ndimakhalira. Oposa theka la achikulire omwe ali ndi matenda mdziko muno sapeza thandizo lomwe angafunike. Yakwana nthawi yoti tisinthe ziwerengerozi.

Ngati mukuvutika ndi malingaliro ofuna kudzipha nokha, dziwani kuti ndinu ayi munthu woipa kapena wosayenera chifukwa chodzimva choncho. Ndipo ndithudi simuli nokha. Ndizovuta kwambiri kuyenda ndi matenda amisala, ndipo kuti mukadali pano ndi umboni wa mphamvu zanu. Ngati mukuona ngati mutha kugwiritsa ntchito thandizo lina kapenanso wina woti mungolankhula naye kwakanthawi, mutha kuyimba pa 1-800-273-8255, meseji 741741, kapena kucheza pa intaneti pa suicidepreventionlifeline.org.

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