Kuthamanga Kupyola Kusweka Kwa Mtima: Momwe Kuthamanga Kumandichiritsira Ine

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Ingokhalani kukankha, ndinadzing’ung’udza ndekha pamene ndinali kunjenjemera kulinga ku chikwangwani cha makilomita 12 cha Runner’s World Heartbreak Hill Half mu Newton, Massachusetts, chotchedwa phiri la Boston Marathon lotchuka kwambiri. Ndinafika pamapiri pamapeto omaliza a theka-marathon opangidwa ndi cholinga chimodzi chokha: kugonjetsa Phiri la Heartbreak.

Ndi mphindi yothamanga ambiri amalota za ine-kuphatikizidwa. Ndinaganiza molimba mtima kuti nditha kutsika, mapapu anga akungoyimbira mayendedwe anga nditamaliza maola awiri. Koma chomwe chimayenera kukhala chothamanga kwambiri cha theka la marathon chinakhala chochepetsetsa changa. Tsiku lopanda mitambo, la madigiri 80 linandikakamiza kuchepetsa liŵiro langa. Ndipo kotero ndidakumana maso ndi maso ndi Phiri lotchuka la Heartbreak, wodzichepetsa ndi wogonjetsedwa.

Pamene ndimayandikira njirayo, chisoni changa chinali ponseponse. Chizindikiro chidayambitsa kuyamba kwake: Kusweka mtima. Munthu wovala suti ya gorilla adavala T-sheti yokhala ndi mawu akuti: Kusweka mtima. Owonerera adafuula: "Phiri losweka mtima patsogolo!"

Mwadzidzidzi, sichinali chopinga chakuthupi chokha. Mosadziwika, zopweteka zazikulu m'moyo wanga zidandigwera. Ndatopa, ndasowa madzi, ndikuyang'ana kulephera, sindinathe kugwedeza zomwe ndakumana nazo ndi liwu ili: Kukula ndi bambo wochita nkhanza, chidakwa yemwe adamwa mpaka kufa ndili ndi zaka 25, ndikulimbana ndi chotupa cha fupa chomwe chidandisiya ndikuyenda ndi kufooka ndi kulephera kuthamanga kwa zaka zopitirira khumi, kuchitidwa opareshoni ya ovary pa 16, kusintha kwa kanthaŵi kochepa pa zaka 20, ndikukhala ndi matenda omwe amatanthauza kuti sindingakhale ndi ana. Zowawa zanga zinkawoneka ngati zosatha ngati kukwera koyipa uko.

Kakhosi kanga kanakhazikika. Ndinalephera kupuma pamene ndinatsamwitsidwa ndi misozi. Ndinachedwetsa kuyenda, ndikupumira kwinaku ndikumenya pachifuwa ndi dzanja langa. Ndikakwera phiri la Heartbreak Hill, ndimamva kuti zokumana nazo zonsezi zimatseguka, ndikupwetekanso mtima wanga wofiira, womenya. Zingwe zomangirira mtima wanga wosweka zinayamba kusokonekera. Pamene kuwawidwa mtima ndi kutengeka mtima zinandigwira mosayembekezereka, ndinaganiza zosiya, kukhala pamphepete mwa msewu, mutu uli m'manja ndi chifuwa chogwedezeka monga wolemba mbiri yapadziko lonse Paula Radcliffe anachita pamene adatuluka mu mpikisano wa Olimpiki wa 2004.

Koma ngakhale chidwi chofuna kusiya chinali chopambana, china chake chidanditsogolera, ndikundikweza kupita ku Heartbreak Hill.

Ndidabwera kumasewera othamanga monyinyirika - mutha kunena kumenya ndi kukuwa. Kuyambira ndili ndi zaka 14, kuthamanga kunali a chinthu chopweteka kwambiri chomwe ndikanachita, chifukwa cha chotupa cha fupa chija. Patadutsa zaka 10 ndipo pasanathe miyezi iwiri bambo anga atamwalira, ndinayamba opaleshoni. Ndiye, nthawi yomweyo, bamboyo komanso cholepheretsa chomwe chidandifotokozera adachoka.

Atalamulidwa ndi adotolo, ndidayamba kuthamanga. Chidani changa chadzaoneni pamasewera posakhalitsa chidasinthanso china: chisangalalo. Pang'onopang'ono, mailo ndi mailo, ndinazindikira kuti ine wokondedwa kuthamanga. Ndinadzimva mfulu-ufulu womwe chotupacho ndikukhala mthunzi wa abambo anga zidandikana.

Zaka khumi pambuyo pake, ndathamanga theka la marathoni, ma marathoni asanu ndi awiri, ndipo ndayamba ntchito yomwe ndinkachita nayo mantha. Pochita izi, masewerawa adakhala chithandizo changa komanso chilimbikitso changa. Kulimbitsa thupi kwanga tsiku ndi tsiku inali njira yachisoni, mkwiyo, ndikukhumudwa yomwe idasokoneza ubale wanga ndi abambo anga. Maphunziro adandipatsa nthawi yothana ndi malingaliro anga atachoka. Ndinayamba kuchiritsa-30, 45, ndi 60 mphindi panthawi.

Mpikisano wanga wachitatu wa marathoni unasonyeza kuchuluka kwa kuthamanga kwanga kwa ine. Marathon aku Chicago a 2009 adagwa pa tsiku lachisanu ndi chimodzi lakumwalira kwa abambo anga, mumzinda wachinyamata wanga. Ndinkakhala kumapeto kwa sabata ndili pantchito ndi bambo anga, ndipo masewera othamanga amapita kuofesi yawo yakale. Ndinadzipereka kwa iye, ndipo ndinathamanga kwambiri. Nditafuna kusiya, ndimamuganizira. Ndinazindikira kuti sindinakwiyenso, mkwiyo wanga unatha mumlengalenga ndi thukuta langa.

Nthawi yomweyo ku Boston's Heartbreak Hill, ndimaganiza zofananira zoyika phazi limodzi patsogolo pa linzake, momwe zandipezera zaka 10 zapitazi za moyo wanga. Kupita patsogolo kunakhala chiwonetsero chofanizira komanso chenicheni cha momwe ndimamvera.

Ndipo kotero ine ndinayenda kukwera phirili ndikudziwa kuti ndidzatenga theka la marathon yanga ya maola awiri tsiku lina, ngati si lero, podziwa kuti kupweteka kwamtima kulikonse kumapambana ndi chisangalalo chachikulu. Ndinakhazika mtima pansi ndikulola misozi yanga kusungunula dzuŵa, mchere, ndi thukuta likuphimba nkhope yanga.

Chapafupi ndi phiri, mayi wina adathamangira kwa ine."Tiyeko," adatero mosasamala ndi dzanja lake. "Tatsala pang'ono kufika," adatero, ndikundikoka pamalingaliro anga.

Ingokhalani kukankha, Ndinaganiza. Ndinayambanso kuthamanga.

"Zikomo," ndinatero ndikumukoka. "Ndinkafuna zimenezo." Tinathamangira limodzi mayadi mazana angapo apitawa, ndikuyenda modutsa pamzere womaliza.

Ndili ndi Heartbreak Hill kumbuyo kwanga, ndinazindikira kuti zovuta za moyo wanga sizimandifotokozera. Koma zomwe ndachita nawo zimachita. Ndikadakhala pansi pambali pa njirayo. Ndikadatha kudzudzula wothamangayo. Koma sindinatero. Ndinadzikoka pamodzi ndikupitiriza kukankhira, kupita patsogolo, mukuthamanga ndi m'moyo.

Karla Bruning ndi wolemba / mtolankhani yemwe amalemba mabulogu pazinthu zonse zomwe zikuyenda pa RunKarlaRun.com.

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