Kupeza Thandizo Pambuyo Podzipha Kwa Atate Wanga

Zamkati

• Zolemba
• Chodabwitsa
• Kuyambira kuchira
• Kodi chimathandiza ndi chiyani?
• Kupanga nkhaniyi
• Chithandizo
• Kudzisamalira
• Vomerezani malingaliro anu
• Ndi chiyani chovuta?
• Nthabwala zodzipha
• Zithunzi zachiwawa
• Kugawana nkhaniyi
• Kutseka malingaliro

Chisoni chovuta

Abambo anga adadzipha kutatsala masiku awiri kuthokoza. Amayi anga adathamangitsa Turkey chaka chimenecho. Patha zaka zisanu ndi zinayi ndipo sitingakhale ndi Thanksgiving kunyumba. Kudzipha kumawononga zinthu zambiri ndipo kumafuna kumanganso zambiri. Takhazikitsanso tchuthi tsopano, ndikupanga miyambo yatsopano ndi njira zatsopano zokondwerera wina ndi mnzake. Pakhala pali maukwati ndi kubadwa, mphindi zakukhala ndi chiyembekezo komanso chisangalalo, komabe pali malo amdima pomwe bambo anga adayimapo kale.

Moyo wa abambo anga unali wovuta komanso imfa yawo. Abambo anga anali ndi vuto lodzidziwa komanso kudziwa kukhala ndi ana awo. Ndizopweteka kudziwa kuti adamwalira yekha komanso m'malo amdima wamisala. Ndi chisoni chonsechi, sizosadabwitsa kuti imfa yake inandisiya ndili wokhumudwa komanso wachisoni.

Zolemba

Zomwe ndimakumbukira bambo anga atamwalira ndizosamveka bwino. Sindikukumbukira zomwe zidachitika, zomwe ndidachita, kapena momwe ndidakhalira.

Nditha kuyiwala chilichonse - kuyiwala komwe ndimapita, kuyiwala zomwe ndimayenera kuchita, kuyiwala omwe ndimayenera kukomana nawo.

Ndimakumbukira kuti ndinali ndi thandizo. Ndinali ndi mnzanga yemwe amayenda nane kupita kuntchito tsiku lililonse (apo ayi sindingapite), abale omwe amandiphikira chakudya, komanso mayi yemwe amakhala ndikulira nane.

Ndimakumbukiranso kukumbukira imfa ya abambo anga, mobwerezabwereza. Sindinawone thupi lake, sindinawone komwe anafera, kapena mfuti yomwe adagwiritsa ntchito. Ndipo komabe ine adawona mtundu wa abambo anga kumwalira usiku uliwonse ndikatseka maso anga. Ndinawona mtengo pomwe adakhala, chida chomwe adagwiritsa ntchito, ndipo ndidamva chisoni chifukwa chakumapeto kwake.

Chodabwitsa

Ndinachita zonse zomwe sindinathe kutseka maso anga ndikukhala ndekha ndi malingaliro anga. Ndinagwira ntchito mwakhama, ndinkathera maola ambiri ku malo ochitira masewera olimbitsa thupi, ndipo ndinkacheza usiku ndi anzanga. Ndinali dzanzi ndipo ndinali kusankha kuchita chilichonse kupatula kuvomereza zomwe zimachitika mdziko langa.

Ndinkadzitopetsa masana ndikubwerera kunyumba ndikumwa mankhwala ogwiritsira ntchito dokotala komanso kapu ya vinyo.

Ngakhale ndimankhwala ogona, kupumula kudalibe vuto. Sindingathe kutseka maso anga osawona thupi la bambo anga litaphwanyika. Ndipo ngakhale ndinali ndi kalendala yodzaza ndi anthu, ndinali wokhumudwa komanso wosasinthasintha. Zinthu zing'onozing'ono zitha kundiyambitsa: Mnzanga akudandaula za abambo ake otetezera, wogwira naye ntchito akudandaula za kutha kwa "kutha kwa dziko", wachinyamata mumsewu wonenera abambo ake. Kodi anthuwa samadziwa kuti anali ndi mwayi wotani? Sanadziwe aliyense kuti dziko langa latha?

Aliyense amapirira mosiyanasiyana, koma chinthu chimodzi chomwe ndidaphunzira pochiritsa ndikuti mantha ndiomwe amachitapo kanthu pakamwalira mwadzidzidzi kapena zoopsa. Malingaliro sangathe kulimbana ndi zomwe zikuchitika ndipo iwe umachita dzanzi.

Kukula kwa malingaliro anga kunandikulira. Chisoni chimabwera m'mafunde ndipo chisoni chodzipha chimadza ndi mafunde a tsunami. Ndinakwiya ndi dziko lapansi chifukwa chosathandiza abambo anga komanso kukwiyira abambo anga posadzithandiza. Ndinali wachisoni kwambiri chifukwa cha zowawa za abambo anga komanso chisoni chachikulu chifukwa cha zowawa zomwe adandipangitsa. Ndinali kuvutika, ndipo ndinkadalira anzanga ndi abale kuti andithandize.

Kuyambira kuchira

Kuchira chifukwa chodzipha kwa abambo anga kunali kovuta kuti ndichite ndekha, ndipo pamapeto pake ndinaganiza zopempha akatswiri. Ndikugwira ntchito ndi katswiri wama psychologist, ndimatha kumvetsetsa za matenda amisala abambo anga ndikumvetsetsa momwe zosankha zawo zidakhudzira moyo wanga. Zinandipatsanso malo otetezeka oti ndigawane zomwe ndakumana nazo osadandaula za kukhala "cholemetsa" kwa aliyense.

Kuphatikiza pa chithandizo chamankhwala chawokha, ndidalowanso mgulu lothandizira anthu omwe wachibale wawo wamwalira chifukwa chodzipha. Kukumana ndi anthuwa kunandithandiza kusintha zokumana nazo zambiri. Tonse tinkayenda mozungulira ndi chifunga cholemera chomwecho chachisoni. Ambirife tidabwereza mphindi zomaliza ndi okondedwa athu. Tonsefe tinkadabwa kuti, “Chifukwa chiyani?”

Ndikalandira chithandizo, ndinamvetsetsanso momwe ndimamvera komanso momwe ndingathetsere matenda anga. Ambiri omwe adapulumuka amakhala ndi chisoni, kukhumudwa, komanso ngakhale PTSD.

Gawo loyamba lopeza thandizo ndikudziwa komwe mungayang'ane. Pali mabungwe angapo omwe amayang'ana kwambiri kuthandiza opulumuka chifukwa chodzipha, monga:

• Opulumuka Kudzipha
• American Foundation Yopewa Kudzipha
• Mgwirizano wa Chiyembekezo cha Opulumuka Pangozi Yodzipha

Mutha kupeza mindandanda yamagulu othandizira kapena othandizira omwe amakhazikika pakugwira ntchito ndi omwe adapulumuka kudzipha. Muthanso kufunsa dokotala kapena woyang'anira inshuwaransi kuti akuthandizeni.

Kodi chimathandiza ndi chiyani?

Kupanga nkhaniyi

Mwina kuposa china chilichonse, chithandizo chinandipatsa mwayi wofotokozera "nkhani" yodzipha kwa abambo anga. Zochitika zoopsa zimakhala ndi chizolowezi choloŵerera mu ubongo muzidutswa zosamvetseka. Nditayamba kulandira chithandizo chamankhwala, ndimalephera kulankhula zaimfa ya abambo anga. Mawuwo samangobwera. Kudzera polemba ndikulankhula za mwambowu, pang'onopang'ono ndidatha kupanga nkhani yanga yakumwalira kwa abambo anga.

Kupeza munthu yemwe mungalankhule naye ndikudalira ndi gawo loyamba lofunikira kutsatira kutsatira imfa ya wokondedwa mpaka kudzipha, koma ndikofunikanso kukhala ndi munthu yemwe mungalankhule naye zaka zambiri pambuyo potaikiridwa. Chisoni sichitha kwathunthu. Masiku ena adzakhala ovuta kuposa ena, ndipo kukhala ndi wina woti mulankhule naye kungakuthandizeni kuthana ndi masiku ovuta.

Kuyankhula ndi wothandizira wophunzitsidwa kungathandize, koma ngati simunakonzekere izi, pitani kwa mnzanu kapena wachibale. Simuyenera kugawana zonse ndi munthuyu. Khalani ndi zomwe mumakhala omasuka kugawana.

Kulemba nkhani kungakhalenso njira yabwino yochotsera malingaliro anu ndikuyamba kupanga tanthauzo la chilichonse. Kumbukirani kuti simukulemba malingaliro anu kuti ena, kuphatikizapo tsogolo lanu, awerenge. Palibe chomwe mwalemba cholakwika. Chofunika ndikuti mukhale owona pazomwe mukumva ndikuganiza munthawiyo.

Chithandizo

Anthu ena amakhalabe omasuka pankhani yodzipha, ngakhale kudzipha kuli gawo lachitatu laimfa ku United States. Malangizo olankhula andithandiza zaka zambiri. Ndinapindula ndi malo otetezeka a psychotherapy, komwe ndimatha kukambirana nkhani zonse zodzipha.

Mukasaka wothandizila, pezani munthu yemwe mumalankhula naye momasuka. Simusowa kukhazikika kwa wothandizira woyamba yemwe mumamuyesa, mwina. Mudzawatsegulira za chochitika chayekha pamoyo wanu. Mwinanso mungafunefune wothandizira wodziwa bwino kuthandiza opulumuka omwe adadzipha. Funsani omwe amakupatsani chithandizo choyambirira ngati angavomereze, kapena itanani woyang'anira inshuwaransi. Ngati mwalowa nawo gulu la opulumuka, mutha kufunsa mamembala a gulu lanu ngati ali ndi malingaliro aliwonse. Nthawi zina mawu apakamwa ndiye njira yosavuta yopezera dokotala watsopano.

Mankhwala angathandizenso. Mavuto amisala atha kukhala ndi gawo lachilengedwe, ndipo kwa zaka zingapo ndimagwiritsa ntchito mankhwala kuti ndithandizire kukhala ndi zipsinjo. Dokotala wanu akhoza kukuthandizani kusankha ngati mankhwala ndi oyenera kwa inu, ndipo atha kukupatsirani zinthu monga mankhwala opanikizika, mankhwala oletsa nkhawa, kapena zothandizira kugona.

Kudzisamalira

Chimodzi mwa zinthu zofunika kwambiri zomwe ndikadachita ndikukumbukira kudzisamalira ndekha. Za ine, kudzisamalira kumaphatikizapo chakudya chopatsa thanzi, kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi, yoga, abwenzi, nthawi yolemba, komanso nthawi yopuma kutchuthi. Mndandanda wanu ukhoza kukhala wosiyana. Yang'anani pazinthu zomwe zimakusangalatsani, kukuthandizani kupumula, komanso kukhala ndi thanzi labwino.

Ndinali ndi mwayi wozunguliridwa ndi netiweki yabwino yothandizira yomwe ingandikumbutse pamene sindimadzisamalira ndekha. Chisoni ndi ntchito yolemetsa, ndipo thupi limafunikira kupumula koyenera ndi chisamaliro kuti muchiritse.

Vomerezani malingaliro anu

Machiritso enieni adandiyambira pomwe ndidayamba kuvomereza zomwe zimachitika mmoyo wanga. Izi zikutanthauza kuti ndimanena zowona ndi anthu ndikakhala ndi tsiku loipa. Kwa zaka zambiri, tsiku lokumbukira imfa ya abambo anga ndi tsiku lawo lobadwa zinali zovuta kwa ine. Ndinkapita kuntchito masiku ano ndi kudzipangira ndekha chinthu china chabwino kapena kukhala ndi anzanga m'malo mongomangoganizira za tsiku langalo ndikungoyerekeza kuti zonse zili bwino. Kamodzi ndidadzipatsa chilolezo ayi khalani bwino, ndizodabwitsa kuti ndinayamba kuchepetsa.

Ndi chiyani chovuta?

Kudzipha kumakhudza anthu munjira zosiyanasiyana, ndipo aliyense amakhala ndi zoyambitsa zake zomwe zingawakumbutse za chisoni chawo kapena kukumbukira momwe akumvera. Zina mwazoyambitsa izi ndizosavuta kupewa kuposa zina, ndichifukwa chake kukhala ndi netiweki yothandizira ndikofunikira.

Nthabwala zodzipha

Mpaka pano, nthabwala zodzipha komanso matenda amisala zimandipwetekabe. Pazifukwa zina, ndizovomerezeka pakati pa anthu kuti anthu aziseka nthabwala kuti akufuna "kudziwombera okha" kapena "kulumpha nyumba." Zaka zingapo zapitazo izi zikadandigwetsa misozi; lero zimandipangitsa kuti ndiyime kenako ndikupitirira ndi tsiku langa.

Ganizirani zodziwitsa anthu kuti nthabwala izi sizabwino. Mwina sanayese kukhala okhumudwitsa, ndipo kuwaphunzitsa za kupanda chidwi kwa ndemanga zawo zitha kuwathandiza kuti asalankhule zotere mtsogolomo.

Zithunzi zachiwawa

Sindinakhalepo wokonda mafilimu achiwawa kapena wailesi yakanema, koma bambo anga atamwalira, ndimatha kuwona magazi kapena mfuti pazenera osachita mantha. Ndinkachita manyazi kwambiri izi, makamaka ndikakhala ndi anzanga atsopano kapena ndikakhala pachibwenzi. Masiku ano ndili patsogolo kwambiri posankha zanga.Anzanga ambiri amadziwa kuti sindimakonda mapulogalamu achiwawa ndipo ndimavomereza popanda funso (kaya akudziwa mbiri ya banja langa).

Khalani omasuka kufotokoza zakukhosi kwanu. Anthu ambiri safuna kuyika munthu wina m'malo ovuta, chifukwa chake atha kukhala othokoza kudziwa zomwe zimakupangitsani kukhala osasangalala. Ngati akuyesetsabe kukukankhirani munthawi zomwe zimakusowetsani mtendere, ganizirani ngati chibwenzicho chili chofunikira. Kukhala ndi anthu omwe amakupangitsani kukhala osasangalala kapena osakhala omasuka sikokwanira.

Kugawana nkhaniyi

Kugawana nkhani yodzipha kwa abambo anga kwakhala kosavuta pakapita nthawi, komabe ndizovuta. M'masiku oyambilira, sindinkatha kuwongolera momwe ndimamvera mumtima ndipo nthawi zambiri ndimangotulutsa zomwe zidachitikira aliyense amene wafunsa. Mwamwayi, tsiku limenelo lapita.

Lero, gawo lovuta kwambiri ndikudziwa nthawi yoti mugawire ena komanso kuchuluka. Nthawi zambiri ndimawuza anthu zambiri, ndipo zabwino kapena zoyipa, pali anthu ochepa kwambiri padziko lapansi pano omwe amadziwa nkhani yonse yaimfa ya abambo anga.

Musamve ngati mukuyenera kugawana chilichonse. Ngakhale wina atakufunsani funso lachindunji, simukakamizidwa kugawana chilichonse chomwe simumasuka kugawana. Opulumuka magulu odzipha atha kukhala malo otetezeka kuti agawane nawo nkhani yanu. Mamembala atha ngakhale kukuthandizani kuti muziyenda nawo pogawana nkhani yanu ndi magulu anu ochezera kapena abwenzi atsopano. Kapenanso, mutha kusankha kugawana ndi anzanu poyamba kuti zitha kuwonekera poyera, kapena mutha kusankha kugawana zidutswa apa ndi apo ndi anthu osankhidwa. Komabe mwasankha kugawana nthanoyi, chofunikira kwambiri ndikuti mugawane munthawi yanu ndikugawana zambiri zomwe mumakhala omasuka kugawana.

Kudzipha ndi nkhani yovuta ndipo nthawi zina anthu samamva bwino akamva nkhani. Zikhulupiriro zachipembedzo cha anthu, kapena malingaliro awo olakwika kapena malingaliro olakwika atha kulowa panjira. Ndipo nthawi zina anthu samangokhala omasuka komanso samakhala omasuka pankhani zovuta. Izi zitha kukhala zokhumudwitsa, koma Mwamwayi ndili ndi gulu la anzanga omwe angandithandizire kupyola munthawi imeneyi. Ngati mukuwoneka molimba osataya chiyembekezo, mutha kupeza anthu oyenera kuti akuthandizireni.

Kutseka malingaliro

Kudzipha kwa abambo anga chinali chinthu chowawa kwambiri m'moyo wanga. Panali nthawi zina pa nthawi ya chisoni changa pomwe sindinkafuna kudziwa kuti kuzunzika kudzatha. Koma ndimangoyenda pang'onopang'ono, ndipo pang'ono ndi pang'ono ndidayambiranso kuyambiranso moyo wanga.

Palibe mapu oti mubwererenso amoyo, palibe kukula komwe kumagwirizana ndi njira zonse. Mumapanga njira yanu yochira pamene mukupita, pang'onopang'ono mukuyika phazi limodzi patsogolo pa linzake. Tsiku lina ndinayang'ana mmwamba ndipo sindinalire tsiku lonse, panthawi ina ndinayang'ana mmwamba ndipo sindinaganizire bambo anga masabata angapo. Pali mphindi tsopano pomwe masiku amdima achisoniwo amakhala ngati maloto oyipa.

Kwakukulukulu, moyo wanga wabwereranso mwakale. Ndikayima kaye ndikupuma, mtima wanga umasweka chifukwa cha abambo anga ndi zowawa zonse zomwe adakumana nazo komanso zovuta zonse zomwe adabweretsa kubanja langa. Koma ndikapumira kwakanthawi, ndikuthokozanso kwambiri chifukwa cha anzanga komanso abale anga pondithandizira, ndikuthokoza kudziwa kuya kwa mphamvu zanga zamkati.