Malangizo 9 a Kubwezeretsa Nkhanza za Narcissistic

Zamkati

• Vomerezani ndi kuvomereza nkhanzazo
• Khazikitsani malire anu ndikunena momveka bwino
• Konzekerani kumverera kovuta
• Pezani mtundu wanu
• Yesetsani kudzimvera chisoni
• Zindikirani kuti malingaliro anu amatha
• Dzisamalire
• Lankhulani ndi ena
• Pezani chithandizo cha akatswiri

Ngati mwangomaliza kumene kukhala pachibwenzi ndi munthu wina wamisala, mwina mukumva kuwawa komanso kusokonezeka.

Ngakhale mukudziwa, pansi pamtima, kuti simunali wolakwa, kukhulupirira kuti nthawi zambiri iyi ndi nkhani ina.

Kudzifunsa zomwe mukadachita mosiyanasiyana popewa kuzunzidwa kapena kuthandiza wokondedwa wanu kuthana ndi mavuto awo kumatha kukulitsa chisangalalo.

Maubwenzi omwe ali ndi poizoni amafanananso ndi zosokoneza bongo, akufotokoza a Ellen Biros, othandizira ku Suwanee, Georgia, omwe amagwira ntchito yothandiza anthu kuti athetse mavuto omwe amachitika.

“Chibwenzicho ndi choledzeretsa. Pali kulimbikitsana kwakanthawi, ndipo pamakhala manyazi komanso kudzimvera chisoni paubwenzowu, ”akutero a Biros.

Zinthu izi zitha kuchitika mukamayesa kuchira.

Mukudziwa kuti ubale sunali wathanzi. Mukudziwa kuti adakuzunzani. Koma simungagwedezeke kukumbukira kwanu momwe mudamvera pachiyambi komanso nthawi zabwino zomwe mudali nazo.

Kukumbukira izi kungapangitse kuti uzilakalaka kucheza nawo ndikuwona ngati ungachite chilichonse kuti upezenso chikondi ndi chivomerezo chawo.

Nkhanza nthawi zambiri zimakhala zopweteka kwambiri, ndipo kuchira kumatha kutenga nthawi.

Ngati mukumva kuti mwatayika, maupangiri pansipa akhoza kukuthandizani kuti mutenge njira yanu yoyambiranso.

Vomerezani ndi kuvomereza nkhanzazo

Kuzindikira kuti munachitidwapo nkhanza, kaya ndi mnzanu wapamtima, wachibale wanu, kapena mnzanu, ndichinthu choyamba chofunikira kuti muchiritse.

Kumayambiriro kwa kuchira, mutha kukhala ndi zovuta kuti mupereke zifukwa zomveka komanso zifukwa zomwe zingakhalire ndi zomwe winayo akuchita.

M'malo mwake, mutha kukhala omvera kuti mudzadziimbe mlandu nokha, bola ngati zikutanthawuza kuti simukuyenera kuvomereza munthu amene mumamukonda kuti akupwetekeni mwadala.

Izi ndi zachilendo komanso zomveka bwino.

Kukana kungakutetezeni, mwanjira ina. Chikondi champhamvu kapena chabanja chimaphimba chenicheni cha anthu ambiri.

Zimakhalanso zovuta kuvomereza kuti anthu ena amangowoneka kuti alibe nazo ntchito akakhumudwitsa anzawo.

Koma kukana zomwe zidachitika kumakulepheretsani kuti mukwaniritse ndikuchira. Itha kukupangitsanso kuti mudzamve zowawa mtsogolo.

Ngati mukudziwa kuti wokondedwa wanu adakumana ndi mavuto awo, mutha kumvetsetsa mavuto awa ndikufuna kuwapatsanso mwayi wina.

Chifundo sichilakwa konse, koma mavuto azaumoyo samapereka chifukwa chomenyera. Mutha kuwalimbikitsa nthawi zonse kuti apeze thandizo - popanga malo okwanira kuti mudziteteze.

"Dziphunzitseni ndi maphunziro okhudzana ndi nkhanza," a Biros amalimbikitsa.

Kuphunzira kuzindikira njira zomwe anthu omwe amagwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo amagwiritsa ntchito nthawi zambiri kumatha kukupangitsani kuti muzimvetsetsa zomwe mwakumana nazo.

Khazikitsani malire anu ndikunena momveka bwino

Akatswiri azachipatala komanso omwe amachitiranso nkhanza nthawi zambiri amalimbikitsa kuti muchepetse kulumikizana ndi bwenzi lanu lakale mukamaliza chibwenzicho, ngati zingatheke.

Kupita osalumikizana siwo malire okha kwa iwo. Ndi malire kwa inu, omwe mungaone kuti ndi ovuta kwambiri poyamba.

Sizachilendo kumva kuti akuyesedwa kuti afikire kapena kuyankha mafoni ndi mauthenga, makamaka ngati apepesa moona mtima ndikulonjeza kuti asintha.

Kuletsa nambala yawo, imelo, komanso maakaunti azama TV kungakuthandizeni kupewa mayeserowa.

Kumbukirani kuti atha kuyesabe kukumana nanu kudzera munjira zina, chifukwa zimatha kukhala ndi pulani ya momwe mungachitire izi.

Koma kupita osalumikizana sikotheka nthawi iliyonse. Mwina muli ndi ana nawo, kapena ndi abale anu omwe mudzawaone nthawi zina pamaphwando.

Ngati ndi choncho, ganizirani zomwe mukufuna ndikusowa: "Ndiyenera kuchitiridwa ulemu."

Kenako sinthani izi kukhala malire: "Ndili wokonzeka kukambirana nanu, koma mukafuula, kutukwana, kapena kunditchula mayina, ndichokapo nthawi yomweyo."

Kuti mupange malo ndi mtunda wofunikira kwa inu nokha, ganiziraninso malire aumwini, monga:

• osagawana zambiri zamunthu (chinthu chofunikira kwambiri pakugwedeza imvi)
• kuletsa kulumikizana papulatifomu imodzi, ngati imelo yomwe simugwiritsa ntchito china chilichonse

Konzekerani kumverera kovuta

Maukwati ambiri amatenga zopweteka, kuphatikiza:

• chisoni ndi kutayika
• kugwedezeka
• mkwiyo
• Zachisoni kapena kukhumudwa

Pambuyo pothetsa chibwenzi chomwe chimadziwika kuti ndi nkhanza zamankhwala osokoneza bongo, mutha kukumana nazo ndi mitundu ina yazovuta zam'mutu, a Biros akufotokoza.

Izi zikuphatikiza:

• nkhawa
• mantha
• paranoia
• manyazi

Kupwetekedwa mtima kwa ubale woopsa kumatha kukupatsirani zizindikilo za post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Anthu oledzeretsa amatha kupweteka kwambiri. Koma alinso ndi luso lakupangitsani kuti mukhulupirire zenizeni zawo.

Chifukwa chake ngakhale mutakhala ndi zilonda zam'maganizo, mwina mungakayikire zomwe mwachita.

Chikondi chanu pa iwo chitha, kukutsimikizirani kuti ndi inu omwe anakupusitsani komanso kukuzunzani.

Kutha ubale wapabanja kungayambitsenso malingaliro olakwa kapena osakhulupirika.

Izi ndi zokumana nazo zabwinobwino. Kugwira ntchito mwa iwo okha sikophweka nthawi zonse, komabe, makamaka mukamasokonezeka ndi machenjerero.

Wothandizira akhoza kukuthandizani mukayamba kuthana ndi zovuta izi.

Pezani mtundu wanu

Anthu omwe ali ndi mikhalidwe yankhanza nthawi zambiri amayembekeza kuti ena azichita zinthu m'njira zina. Amanyoza kapena kutsutsa anthu mwankhanza polephera kukwaniritsa miyezo imeneyi. Nazi momwe zingawonekere:

• Wakale wanu anati tsitsi lanu limawoneka "lopusa komanso loyipa," ndiye mwasintha.
• Kholo lanu limakuuzani nthawi zonse kuti ndi "opusa" bwanji "mukuwononga nthawi" pa nyimbo, motero mwasiya kuimba piyano.
• Angayese kuwongolera nthawi yanu ndikukulepheretsani kuwona anzanu kapena kuchita nawo zinthu nokha.

Ngati mwasintha mawonekedwe anu ndi kalembedwe kapena kutaya zinthu zomwe mumakonda chifukwa chodzipusitsa izi, mungamve ngati kuti simukudziwa bwino lomwe.

Gawo la kuchira limaphatikizapo kudzizolowera nokha, kapena kudziwa zomwe mumakonda, momwe mumafunira kugwiritsa ntchito nthawi yanu, ndi omwe mukufuna kucheza nawo.

A Biros amalimbikitsa kuti mupewe kukhala pachibwenzi ndikupanga ubale watsopano panthawi yopezako nthawi.

Mukuchiritsabe, pambuyo pa zonse. Kudzifufuza ndikumanganso ubale wanu ndi inu nokha kumatha kukupangitsani kukhala osatetezeka.

Yesetsani kudzimvera chisoni

Mukazindikira kuti chibwenzi chanu chinali, choyambitsa nkhanza, mutha kudzudzulidwa nokha.

Koma kumbukirani, palibe amene amayenera kuzunzidwa, ndipo machitidwe awo ali ayi vuto lanu.

M'malo modziimba mlandu chifukwa chakuwanyengerera kapena kudziweruza kuti awalole kukuzunzani kwanthawi yayitali, dzikhululukireni.

Simungasinthe zakale, ndipo simungasinthe machitidwe kapena machitidwe awo. Muli ndi mphamvu pa inu nokha.

Koma mutha kugwiritsa ntchito mphamvuzi kupanga chisankho chokwaniritsa zosowa zanu, monga ulemu, chisangalalo, ndi chikondi chopatsa thanzi.

Dzitamandeni chifukwa chosankha kuthetsa chibwenzicho, ndipo dzilimbikitseni kutsatira zomwe mwasankha.

Mukadzimva kuti ndinu wopanda pake, yesani kubwereza mawu akuti "Ndine wamphamvu," "Ndimakondedwa," kapena "Ndine wolimba mtima."

Zindikirani kuti malingaliro anu amatha

Chikondi chimatha kukhala chovuta, mwa zina chifukwa simungathe kuchiwongolera.

Simungaleke kukonda munthu wina aliyense, ngakhale wina yemwe amakupwetekani.

Mukathetsa chibwenzicho, mutha kukhalabe ndi zokumbukira zabwino ndikulakalaka mutakumana ndi masiku amenewo.

Koma ndikofunikira kuzindikira kuti simuyenera kusiya kukonda wina kuti ayambe kuchira. Kuyembekezera kuti izi zitheke kuyimitsa njira yochira.

Inu angathe pitilizani kukonda wina pomwe mukuzindikira machitidwe ake kumakupangitsani kukhala kosatheka kukhalabe paubwenzi ndi iwo.

Nthawi zina, kulandira chidziwitsochi kumatha kudumphadumpha komwe kumakuthandizani kuti muzimva kuyanjana.

Dzisamalire

Njira zodziyang'anira nokha zitha kusintha kwambiri kuti muchiritse. Kudzisamalira kumaphatikizapo kukwaniritsa zosowa zanu zakuthupi ndi zakuthupi.

Izi zitha kuphatikizira zinthu monga:

• kugona mokwanira mokwanira
• kumasuka mukapanikizika kapena kupsinjika
• kupanga nthawi yazokonda ndi zina zomwe mumakonda
• kulumikizana ndi okondedwa
• kugwiritsa ntchito luso lotha kuthana ndi mavuto
• kudya chakudya chamagulu
• kukhalabe olimbikira

Maganizo anu ndi thupi lanu zimathandizana, kotero kusamalira zosowa zathupi kumatha kukuthandizani kuti mukhale olimba komanso okonzeka kuthana ndi nkhawa.

Lankhulani ndi ena

Kutsegulira abwenzi othandizira komanso abale anu kumatha kukuthandizani kuti musamadzione nokha mukamachira.

Anthu omwe amakukondani akhoza:

• perekani chifundo
• tsimikizirani zowawa zomwe mukukumana nazo
• kuthandizani kukusokonezani kapena kupereka kampani masiku ovuta
• akukumbutseni kuzunzidwa sikunali vuto lanu

Koma anthu ena m'moyo wanu sangakupatseni thandizo (kapena lililonse).

Achibale ena atenga mbali ya munthu wankhanzayo. Mabwenzi onse akhoza kuthandizira wokondedwa wakale.

Izi zitha kubweretsa chisokonezo komanso kupweteka. Nthawi zambiri zimathandiza kukhazikitsa malire mozungulira nthawi yanu ndi anthuwa mukamayesetsa kuti mubwezeretse.

Mwachitsanzo, mungawafunse kuti asatchule za munthu amene mukukuzunguliraniyo, kapena kuti mupewe kugawana nawo malingaliro awo pankhaniyi.

Ngati salemekeza malire amenewo, lingalirani kuchepetsa nthawi yomwe mumakhala nawo.

Magulu othandizira amaperekanso mwayi kuti musalankhule za nkhanza zomwe mudakumana nazo.

Mu gulu lothandizira, mutha kugawana nkhani yanu ndi ena omwe akuyesetsanso kuchira.

Biros amalimbikitsa kuti:

• Narcissist Abuse Support, tsamba lawebusayiti lomwe limapereka zidziwitso ndi zothandizira pazakuzunza
• makanema ophunzitsa moyo komanso wolemba Lisa A. Romano pa YouTube pazokhudza kuchira pamaubwenzi oopsa
• Mfumukazi Beeing, gulu lotetezedwa, lachinsinsi, komanso laulere kwa anthu omwe akuchira nkhanza
• Magulu amakumana a omwe apulumuka ku narcissism

Pezani chithandizo cha akatswiri

Kulankhula ndi wothandizira m'modzi kumatha kukuthandizani kuti muchitepo kanthu kuti mukhale ndi malingaliro abwino.

Ngati zimakuvutani kusiya munthu amene akukuzunguliranipo, kapena muli ndi malingaliro owapatsanso mwayi wina, wothandizira atha kukuthandizani kuzindikira zifukwa zakumverera kumeneku ndikupanga dongosolo lopewa zosankha zopanda phindu mtsogolo.

Wothandizira amathanso kupereka chitsogozo ndi:

• Kumanga maluso atsopano olimbana ndi mavuto
• kuuza anthu za nkhanza
• Kulimbana kumalimbikitsa kulankhulana ndi munthu wozunza
• kuthana ndi kukhumudwa, nkhawa, kapena matenda ena amisala
• kuthana ndi malingaliro ofuna kudzipha kapena kudzivulaza

Biros akufotokoza kuti chithandizo chitha kukuthandizaninso kumvetsetsa zomwe zimakupangitsani kukhala pachiwopsezo cha nkhanza.

Mwachidule, mankhwalawa amapereka malo abwino komwe katswiri wophunzitsidwa, wachifundo amatha kukuthandizani kuti mufufuze ndikumvetsetsa zovuta zomwe mukukumana nazo kuti mumve.

Inu angathe machiritso, ngakhale sizingachitike nthawi yomweyo. Wothandizira atha kukuthandizani kuti muzimva kuthandizidwa mukamayamba ulendowu.

Crystal Raypole adagwirapo ntchito ngati wolemba komanso mkonzi wa GoodTherapy. Magawo ake achidwi akuphatikiza zilankhulo ndi mabuku aku Asia, kumasulira kwachijapani, kuphika, sayansi yachilengedwe, chiyembekezo chogonana, komanso thanzi lamaganizidwe. Makamaka, akudzipereka kuthandiza kuchepetsa manyazi pazokhudza matenda amisala.