Momwe Mphekesera Yoopsa (Pafupifupi) Inandiphwanyira

Zamkati

• Ndinapsompsona koyamba ndisanafike zaka zisanu ndi zitatu. Kupsompsonana kunayambitsa gawo lokonzekera, lomwe linasandulika mphekesera kuti ndavutikira - inde, munawerenga zolondola, ndinapepesa - ndili ndi zaka 13.
• Chinachitika ndi chiyani
• Kuseka kupyola mu zowawa
• Chithunzi chosatha
• Kutenga mphamvu zanga
• Momwe tingathetsere nkhani yayikuluyi
• Kupitiliza ndikupanga mtendere

Timaphatikizapo zinthu zomwe timaganiza kuti ndizothandiza kwa owerenga athu. Ngati mutagula maulalo omwe ali patsamba lino, titha kupeza ndalama zochepa. Nayi njira yathu.

Ndinapsompsona koyamba ndisanafike zaka zisanu ndi zitatu. Kupsompsonana kunayambitsa gawo lokonzekera, lomwe linasandulika mphekesera kuti ndavutikira - inde, munawerenga zolondola, ndinapepesa - ndili ndi zaka 13.

Ndinawona posachedwa "Zifukwa 13 za Netflix", ndipo ngakhale ndili wokondwa kuti pulogalamuyi yatulutsa zokambirana zofunika komanso zotsutsana zokhudzana ndi kudzipha kwa achinyamata, ndakhumudwitsidwa kuti sizomwe zidayambitsa zokambirana zazaka zambiri. miyezo iwiri: kuti anyamata atha kuchita chilichonse kufunafuna chisangalalo chogonana pomwe atsikana sangathe.

Sikuti amangogwiritsa ntchito mopitilira muyeso m'mabuku achichepere achikulire komanso kanema wawayilesi, ndikuwonetsa anthu tsopano. Mu giredi eyiti, sukulu yanga "Hannah Baker-ed" inenso.

Nthawi zina tikakula, timayiwala mphekesera zomwe zingachitike pachipale chofewa. Ndipo m'tawuni yaying'ono, mphekesera ngati kukwapulidwa sizimatha. Kwa zaka zambiri, pampu ya nkhonya mumlengalenga imatanthauza china chosiyana kwambiri ndi kupambana. Ndinazunzidwa kosatha kwa anyamata ndi atsikana chifukwa ndinatchedwa "mwana wankhuku wosavuta."

Chinachitika ndi chiyani

M'chilimwe chimenecho, mwana wina yemwe ndimamukonda ndipo ndinamuphunzitsa masamu anandiitanira. Tinaonera TV, anandipsompsona, ndipo tinagwirizana kuti tipitirire apo. Zomwe zidachitika pambuyo pake, anthu ambiri ali ndi malingaliro, koma zomwe zimangofunika ndikuti zonse zinali zogwirizana.

Patatha milungu ingapo, nditafika pagulu la anthu lomwe linali kudikirira pankhomo tsiku loyamba la sukulu, china chake chinali chitachitika. Kwenikweni. Anyamata angapo adanyamula zala zawo kapena mapensulo awo m'mwamba ndikuyimba "Pop Goes the Weasel," pokhapokha atayika dzina langa ndikusinthana "weasel" ndi "chitumbuwa." Pakutha tsikulo, anyamata ambiri amamva kuti anditseka kuti ndidziwe zonyansa kapena kuti andigwire bulu.

Kwa zaka zambiri, mphekesera zidasinthidwa pang'ono kuti zikhale zoyeserera ndi mbuzi - monga luso komanso nkhanza za kumidzi yaku America ndi achinyamata.

Sindikudziwabe yemwe anafalitsa mphekesera yachiwiriyi. Mnyamata yemwe anali nawo anali atasamukira kale mphekesera zisanachitike. Pokumbukira, m'modzi mwa abwenzi omwe ndidawawuza adanyansidwa, koma zili ndi vuto lanji? Aliyense amafuna kukhulupirira nkhani yowutsa mudyo ya msungwana wabwino idapita "zoyipa," ngakhale sizinali zoona.

Kuseka kupyola mu zowawa

Ndili ndi zaka 38 tsopano ndipo nditha kuseka zopanda pake za nkhani yonseyi. Mwanjira zina, ndinasekanso nthawi imeneyo, inenso, koma kuseka kwanga kunali ndi chifukwa chosiyana kwambiri. Ndinatsimikiza mtima kuti ndisalole bodza kunigwetsa pansi.

Ndinaseka kuti ndibwezeretse manyazi omwe aliyense amafuna kuti ndimve. Ndinasekanso chifukwa chinali chinthu chaulemu kuchita, ndipo ndi momwe timaphunzitsira atsikana kuti azichita, makamaka ku Midwest. Komanso, kuseka zopanda pake za nkhaniyi ndi zomwe zidandithandiza kupirira. Nditha kulingalira za tsogolo langa kutali ndi zoseketsa, ndipo ndidagwira ntchito molimbika kuti ndikwaniritse. Ndidalimbikitsidwa ndikulemba komanso maloto anga oti ndikhale mtolankhani.

Chithunzi chosatha

Ngakhale ndimakumana ndi zovuta komanso chikondi kusukulu, sindinganene kuti mphekesera sizinandipange. Ndinapitilizabe kuchita nawo zinthu, monga kukhala mkonzi wa pepala langa la kusekondale, koma ndinadzipatula pagulu la anzanga ndikudziphatika muubwenzi wosakhala bwino, wodzilekanitsa womwe udanditengera zaka kutuluka.

Ndikayang'ana m'mbuyo, ndikudziwa kuti ndatopa ndikulimbana ndi malingaliro anga komanso momwe ena amandionera. Ngati atandiona ngati wakugwa, ndiye kuti ndimakhala pachibwenzi ndi munthu yemwe sanali wabwino kwa ine. Popanda kumvetsetsa chifukwa chake, ndikuganiza ndimayesetsa kutsimikizira kuti mawu sanandipweteke.

Kutenga mphamvu zanga

Ndingathe kutsimikizira kuti sindinakakamizidwe, koma ndinali nditapita pazomwe chiwonetsero cha Netflix chikuwonetsa ngati "maziko achitatu." Izi sizinandipange ine msungwana woyipa - monga momwe sizinamupangire iye kukhala mnyamata woyipa. Gawo la ine nthawi zonse ndimadziwa chowonadi ichi, koma kuchivomereza chinali njira yophunzirira.

Kuzimvetsetsa kunakhudza momwe ndimakhalira ndi anzanga azimayi akamakambirana ndi ine zogonana. Anandithokoza chifukwa chosaweruza nkhani zawo, chifukwa ndimamvetsetsa zomwe amafuna kudziwa: Sitikhala oyipa kutengera zisankho zomwe timapanga.

Sindinali msungwana woyipa chifukwa cha zisankho zomwe ndidapanga chilimwechi, ndipo sindine woyipa pazosankha zilizonse zogonana zomwe ndidapanga kupita mtsogolo. Nditazindikira izi, ndidatha kudzilamulira ndekha ndikubwezeretsa mphamvu zomwe mphekesera zidali nazo pa ine.

Chilakolako ndi zosangalatsa sizigwirizana ndi zoipa. Atsikana, nawonso, ali ndi ufulu wosakhululuka pankhani zachiwerewere. Ndikukula, kufalikira kwa malingaliro oyipa-motsutsana-abwino ozungulira azimayi kwandidabwitsa. Amakhala kulikonse, kuphatikizapo atolankhani komanso malo ogwirira ntchito, komwe achikulire amisinkhu yonse satenga miseche komanso mphekesera. Kupezerera anzawo sikumangotayika muunyamata wathu, ndipo zovuta zamavuto amisala zimatha kukhala zotsika msinkhu uliwonse. Ndi nthano yakukalamba kuti achikulire ali ndi luso lotha kuthana ndi mavuto awo kuposa achinyamata.

Momwe tingathetsere nkhani yayikuluyi

Tiyenera kukhala ndi nkhani - munkhani komanso kunyumba - zakufanana komanso kulemekeza zogonana. Tiyenera kukhala nawo ndi ana aamuna onse, koyambirira komanso nthawi zambiri, nawonso. Ponyani malamulo anu pazomwe mukuwona kuti ndi zabwinobwino kapena zoyenera, chifukwa malingaliro amenewo amathandizira kuti mukhale ndi malingaliro oyipa komanso atha kubweretsa chikhalidwe chogwiririra. Chimodzi mwazinthu zabwino kwambiri pakadali pano ndi buku la Peggy Orenstein, "Atsikana & Kugonana: Kuyendetsa Malo Ovuta."

Kambiranani za kupezerera anzawo komanso momwe siziyenera kukhalira miseche, kufalitsa mphekesera, kapena kuzunza wina. Ngati mukuvutitsidwa, lankhulani ndi munthu amene mumamukhulupirira - kholo, mphunzitsi, phungu, kapena wachikulire aliyense wodalirika yemwe mungapeze - ndipo ngati munthuyo wakulephera, pezani wina. Palibe chifukwa chokumana ndi kuzunzidwa pazakugonana, kudziwika, zokonda zanu, kapena china chilichonse, pazimenezi. Ndinali ndi mwayi wokhala ndi aphunzitsi ochepa omwe adalowererapo kuti awonetsetse kuti ndili bwino, ndipo ndikhulupilira kuti mutha kupeza wina.

Kupitiliza ndikupanga mtendere

Kumbukirani izi: Mukudziwa chowonadi chanu. Gawani izi. Kutengera ndi ziwonetsero zokha, "Zifukwa 13 Chifukwa" amanyalanyaza momwe kudzipha sikukuperekera mawu. Ngakhale anali ndi matepi ake, atamwalira, Hannah adataya mphamvu zowongolera nkhani yake.

Chifukwa mphekesera sizitha kufa.

Nthawi yayitali nditasamuka ndikukhala wolemba nkhani, ndidabwerera kwathu kuti ndikachezere abale. Ndinayima pamalo osungira mafuta pomwe mnzake wakale wa m'kalasi, yemwe ndimamukumbukira pang'ono, anali kugwira ntchito yosungira ndalama. Ndinalipira, koma pamene ndinali kutuluka panja, anakweza nkhonya yake m'mwamba nati, “Hei, Jenny, ndingapezeko wotchi yanga?”

Ndikufuna kukuwuzani kuti ndinali ndi mawu onyoza monga, "Muyenera kupeza njira yoguliranso ina ndi ndalama zochepa zomwe mumalipira posungira mafuta." Koma sanali woyenera mawu anga. Poyankha, ndinakweza nkhonya yanga ndi chala m'mwamba, ndinayendetsa galimoto yanga mobwerezabwereza, ndikutuluka tawuniyo.

Mutawuni ija, nthawi zonse ndimakhala "msungwana amene adaponyedwa." Mphekesera izi ndi gawo la chizindikiritso changa tsopano. Koma ndikuvomereza, osati ngati chinthu china chonyadira chifukwa chazinthu zopanda pakezi, koma monga chowonadi kuti ndadutsa izi. Ndakula ndikubweza nkhani yanga, chifukwa mphekesera ndizakuti: mphekesera. Ndipo simuyenera kupereka chidutswa chilichonse cha inu.