Alison Désir Pakuyembekezera Mimba ndi Umayi Watsopano Vs. Zoona

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Alison Désir, yemwe anayambitsa Harlem Run, dokotala, ndi mayi watsopano, ali ndi pakati, ankaganiza kuti adzakhala chithunzi cha wothamanga yemwe amamuyembekezera. Ankathamanga ndi kugunda kwake, kuyenda kwa miyezi isanu ndi inayi akusangalala ndi mwana wake ali panjira, ndikukhalabe ndi thanzi labwino (ankangotuluka kumene pa mpikisano wa New York City Marathon).

Koma nthawi iliyonse yomwe amathamanga ali ndi pakati, Désir amatuluka magazi kumaliseche ndipo amamulanditsa ku ER kangapo chifukwa chakumapeto kwake. "Zomwe zidachitikazi zidasokoneza lingaliro loti nditha kukhala mayi woyenera kapena wothamanga woyembekezera yemwe umamuwona paliponse," akutero.

Mavuto ena posakhalitsa adadziwonekeranso: Amaliza kubereka koyambirira (ali ndi pakati pamasabata a 36) kudzera pa gawo ladzidzidzi la C kumapeto kwa Julayi chifukwa mwana wawo anali atapuma pang'ono ndipo anali ndi preeclampsia. Ndipo chifukwa adakhala masiku ochepa mu Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU), sanapeze nthawi yolumikizana kapena khungu pakhungu ndi khanda lake - ndipo amadzimva kuti alibe mwayi wolumikizana naye.

"Ndidali ndi chiyembekezo ichi m'mutu mwanga, monga aliyense amanenera, mimba ikhala nthawi yokongola kwambiri m'moyo wanu," akutero. M'malo mwake, akuti adadzimva wotayika, wosokonezeka, wosowa chochita, komanso wamantha-ndipo ngati kuti ndiye yekhayo amene amamva motere.

Pomwe malingaliro okakamira atatha kubereka adapitilira, Désir adadzimva kuti ndi wolakwa ndi momwe samakondera kutenga mimba koma momwe amakondera mwana wake. Nkhawa zinafika ponseponse. Ndiye, tsiku lina, adachoka panyumbapo, ndikudzifunsa kuti: Kodi mwana wake angakhale bwino ngati sabwerera? (Nazi Zizindikiro Zobisika za Kukhumudwa Pambuyo Pakubereka Simukuyenera Kuzinyalanyaza.)

Zinali zosafunikira - ndipo zidamupangitsa kuti alankhule za thandizo lomwe iye, ngakhale ngati wothandizira, amafunikira. "Pali zovuta zambiri zomwe zikusowa tikamayankhula za zomwe zimachitika pathupi," akutero. Ngakhale kuti anthu ena amakhala ndi mimba zolunjika, zosabvuta, si nkhani ya aliyense.

Ndi chiyani chomwe chikuwoneka chofala kwambiri? "Nthawi zina mumazikonda, nthawi zina mumadana nazo, mudzasowa omwe mudali kale, ndikukayika komanso kusatetezeka," akutero. "Palibe anthu okwanira kunjaku omwe amafotokoza zambiri za momwe zimakhalira. Tiyenera kudziwitsa kuti nkhawa ndi kukhumudwa ndizabwinobwino komanso kuti pali njira zomwe mungapirire ndikumva bwino. Kupanda kutero, mukungomva kuwawa ndipo ndikuganiza kuti ndiwe wekha amene ukumva motere ndikuyenda m'njira yamdima. " (Zokhudzana: Zomwe Muyenera Kudziwa Zokhudza Kuthandizira Umoyo Wanu Wamaganizo Panthawi Yoyembekezera ndi Pambuyo Pobereka.)

Chiyambireni kukhala ndi mwana wake wamwamuna, Désir watulutsa mawu pazomwe adakumana nazo. M'mwezi wa Meyi, akuyambitsanso ntchito yotchedwa Meaning Through Movement, yopititsa patsogolo kulimbitsa thupi komanso thanzi lamisala pazochitika mdziko lonse lapansi.

Apa, zomwe akufuna kuti aliyense adziwe zomwe zimayambitsa kusefa kwa mimba ndi postpartum-kuphatikizapo momwe mungapezere chithandizo chomwe mukufuna.

Pezani omwe akukuthandizani.

"Kupita kwa dokotala, amangokupatsani chidziwitso," akutero Désir. "Amakuuzani ziwerengero zanu ndikukupemphani kuti mubwerenso sabata yotsatira." Anapeza chilimbikitso chowonjezereka cha m’maganizo kupyolera mwa doula yemwe anam’thandiza kumvetsetsa zimene anali kumva ndi kumusamalira panthaŵi yonse ya mimba yake. Désir ankagwiranso ntchito ndi dokotala wothandiza anthu pa ntchito ya m’chiuno. Popanda dokotala, sindikadadziwa njira zomwe mungakonzekeretse thupi lanu kuti ligwirizane ndi zomwe mwatsala pang'ono kukumana nazo. (Zogwirizana: Zochita Zapamwamba Zisanu Zomwe Amayi Onse Amayenera Kuchita)

Ngakhale mautumikiwa atha kubwera pamtengo wowonjezera, funsani kampani yanu ya inshuwaransi yazaumoyo zomwe zingathe kulipidwa. Mizinda ina, kuphatikiza New York City, ikukulitsa zopereka zothandizira azaumoyo kuti alole kholo lililonse loyamba kukhala loyenera kulandira maulendo asanu ndi limodzi ochokera kwa akatswiri azaumoyo ngati doula.

Funsani thandizo.

Désir amayerekezera kutengeka mtima kwake pambuyo pobereka ndi kamvuluvulu—anadzimva kukhala wolephera kudziletsa, kuchita mantha, kuda nkhawa, ndi kuthedwa nzeru. Amadzimenyanso za izi, popeza ndiamankhwala nawonso. "Sindinathe kuyika chala changa ndikubwerera m'mbuyo ndikupita kumbali yanga, 'oh, izi ndi zomwe zikuchitika pakadali pano'.’

Zingakhale zovuta kupempha thandizo pamene munazolowera kukhala amene mumapereka chithandizo, koma kukhala mayi kumafuna thandizo. Kwa Désir, amayi ake ndi mwamuna wake anali pamenepo kuti akambirane naye za mavuto ake. "Mwamuna wanga amandilimbikitsabe kuti ndiphatikize zinthu zina ndikufikira wina," akutero. "Kukhala ndi winawake m'moyo wanu yemwe angakhale m'makutu mwanu ndiye chinsinsi." Désir adapeza kuti, kwa iye, kuwonjezera mlingo wa mankhwala ake kwakhala kothandiza kwambiri monga amakumana ndi dokotala wamisala kamodzi pamwezi.

Osati amayi inu? Funsani anzanu omwe angokhala ndi ana momwe amakhalira kwenikweni Ndiomwe makamaka anzako 'ovuta'. "Ngati anthu okuzungulirani samadziwa zomwe zikuchitika, ndiye kuti zitha kukhala zowopsa," akutero Désir. (Zogwirizana: 9 Akazi Pa Zomwe Osanena kwa Mnzanu Kulimbana ndi Kukhumudwa)

Dziphunzitseni nokha.

Pali mabuku ambiri a ana kunja uko koma Désir akuti apeza mpumulo wowerenga mabuku ochepa okhudza zomwe amayi amakumana nazo. Awiri mwa zomwe amachita? Amayi Abwino Ali ndi Maganizo Oopsya: Chitsogozo Chochiritsira ku Mantha Achinsinsi a Amayi Atsopano ndipo Kuponya Khanda ndi Maganizo Ena Oopsya: Kuthetsa Maganizo Osafunikira mu Umayi ndi Karen Kleiman, LCSW, woyambitsa Postpartum Stress Center. Onse awiri amakambirana za "malingaliro owopsa" omwe angachitike mukakhala mayi watsopano - ndi njira zothetsera mavutowa.

Sambani zomwe mumadyetsa.

Ma media media akhoza kukhala ovuta pokhudzana ndi kutenga pakati komanso kukhala mayi watsopano, koma Désir akuti potsatira maakaunti ena (omwe amawakonda ndi @momdocpsychology) mutha kupeza zowona zenizeni zowona za mimba ndi umayi watsopano. Yesetsani kuyatsa zidziwitso zamakondedwe ena ndikubwezeretsanso kuti mudziwe zambiri m'malo mopitilira kosatha. (Zokhudzana: Momwe Makonda Azomwe Amakhudzira Moyo Wanu Wam'maganizo ndi Thupi Lanu)

Chotsani 'muyenera' kuchokera ku mawu anu.

Ndizopondereza, akutero Désir. Zimakutseketsani m'malingaliro ochepa awa okhudza kukhala mayi chifukwa cha zomwe mwawona. Koma kwa iye? Umayi 'ndichomwecho.' "Ndilibe njira yabwino yoziwonetsera kupatula kwa ine, kutenga pakati kwanga komanso kukhala mayi tsiku ndi tsiku," akutero Désir. "Izi sizikutanthauza kuti simukusunga ndalama zamtsogolo kapena mukuganiza za momwe mukuyembekezera kuti ziwonekere, koma ziridi tsiku ndi tsiku. Umayi sayenera kuoneka kapena kumva mwanjira ina iliyonse."

Ngati mukuganiza kuti mukudwala matenda obadwa nawo komanso nkhawa, funsani thandizo kwa dokotala wanu kapena gwiritsani ntchito zothandizira kuchokera ku bungwe lopanda phindu la Postpartum Support International monga foni yaulere, mwayi wofikira akatswiri amderalo, komanso misonkhano yapaintaneti ya sabata iliyonse.

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