Momwe Mungachitire ndi Mimba Yosakonzekera Ngati Kutaya Mimba Sikuli Kwanu

Zamkati

• Kulera
• Kutsekedwa kwotseka
• Tsegulani kukhazikitsidwa
• Kukhazikitsidwa kwachindunji
• Kukhazikitsidwa kwa Agency
• Ubwana wobereka
• Zovuta zovomerezeka
• Kuyang'anira mwalamulo
• Ndani angakhale mlonda?
• Ndingayambe bwanji ntchitoyi?
• Ubwino woyang'anira
• Zoyang'anira
• Kulera ana
• Co-kulera
• Kulera yekha ana
• Zinthu zofunika kuziganizira
• Ubwino wa kulera
• Kulera ana
• Kupanga chisankho
• Mimba kapena alibe mimba?
• Ganizirani zamankhwala
• Gwiritsani ntchito zinthu zofunikira
• Kalata yokhudza malo oyembekezera
• Mfundo yofunika

Mimba yosayembekezereka imatha kukhala yovuta kukumana nayo. Mutha kukhala ndi mantha, mantha, kapena kuthedwa nzeru, makamaka ngati simukudziwa momwe mudzathetsere vutoli.

Mwinanso mwakhala mukuganiza kale pazomwe mungasankhe. Njira yokhayo yotetezeka komanso yothetsera mimba ndi kuchotsa mimba mwaluso. Palibe njira ina yochotsera mimba ngati simukufuna kutenga mimba.

Koma kuchotsa mimba si koyenera kwa aliyense. Muli ndi zosankha zina, ngakhale zonse zimaphatikizapo kupitiliza kutenga pakati.

Nazi izi pazomwe mungasankhe ndi zabwino ndi zoyipa zawo. Mukamaganizira zosankhazi, kumbukirani kuti palibe yankho lolondola kapena lolakwika.

Kulera

Kusanduka mwana kumatanthauza kuti umakhala ndi pakati komanso ukamabereka kenako umaloleza banja lina kuti lilere mwanayo.

Ngati mungasankhe kupita ndi kukhazikitsidwa, muyenera kuganizira zina ziwiri:

• Kodi mukufuna kukhazikitsidwa kotsekedwa kapena kotseguka?
• Kodi mukufuna kuyika mwachindunji kapena kugwiritsa ntchito bungwe?

Tidzakhala ndi tanthauzo la izi pansipa.

Kutsekedwa kwotseka

Mukutengera kwina, simumalumikizana ndi mwanayo kapena banja lake lowalera mukangobereka ndikumupereka mwanayo.

Banja lotsata lingasankhe kuti lisamuuze mwanayo zakuleredwa. Ngati agawana izi, mwanayo akhoza kukhala ndi mwayi wokhala ndi mbiri yakulera akadzakwanitsa zaka 18. Izi nthawi zambiri zimadalira malamulo aboma ndi mtundu wa zikalata zomwe zimakhudzidwa ndi kukhazikitsidwa.

Tsegulani kukhazikitsidwa

Kukhazikitsidwa momasuka kumakupatsani mwayi wolumikizana ndi banja la mwanayo.

Mtundu ndi kulumikizana kwake kumasiyana, koma banja litha:

• kutumiza chaka chilichonse zithunzi, makalata, kapena zosintha zina
• kukuyimbirani zosintha nthawi ndi nthawi
• kuyendera nthawi
• limbikitsani mwanayo kuti adzafike msinkhu akafika msinkhu winawake

Zambiri zamakonzedwezo zidzatsimikiziridwa kale. Mukhala ndi mwayi wolankhula chimodzimodzi zomwe mukufuna musanavomereze chilichonse.

Kukhazikitsidwa kwachindunji

Ngati mukufuna kusankha banja lokhala nokha, kukhazikitsidwa kwachindunji kungakhale koyenera kwa inu.

Mufunika thandizo la loya wokhazikitsidwa ndi ana kuti akhazikitsidwe mwachindunji. Banja lolera limalipira chindapusa.

Woyimira mlandu wanu amathanso kukuthandizani inu ndi banja lomwe likumulera kuti musankhe kukhazikitsidwa kosatsekedwa kapena kotsekedwa komanso momwe mgwirizano ungakhalire.

Kukhazikitsidwa kwa Agency

Ngati mungasankhe kukhazikitsa mwana wanu kudzera mu bungwe lokhazikitsira ana, kupeza bungwe loyenera ndikofunikira.

Sankhani chimodzi chomwe:

• imapereka uphungu ndi chidziwitso chazonse zomwe mungatenge pakati
• kumakuthandizani kupeza chithandizo chamankhwala ndikuthandizidwa
• amakuchitirani chifundo, osati kuweruza kapena kunyoza
• Ili ndi chilolezo ndipo imagwira ntchito mwamakhalidwe
• amayankha mafunso anu momasuka komanso moona mtima
• imakupatsani mwayi woti ena anene m'banja la ana anu (ngati ndichomwe mukufuna)

Pali mabungwe ambiri olerera ana omwe angasankhe. Mukayamba kumva zoipa kuchokera ku bungwe lina, musazengereze kusankha ina. Ndikofunika kuti muzimva kuthandizidwa munthawi yonseyi.

Ubwana wobereka

• Mumapatsa wina yemwe sangakhale ndi ana mwayi wokula mwana.
• Mumapatsa mwanayo mwayi wokhala ndi moyo kapena banja lomwe simungathe kupereka.
• Mutha kuyang'ana pa sukulu, ntchito, kapena zosowa zina ngati simunakonzekere kukhala kholo.

Zovuta zovomerezeka

• Mumasiyiratu ufulu wakulera.
• Simungagwirizane ndi momwe makolo osankhayo amalerera mwana.
• Mimba ndi kubereka zingakhale zovuta kapena zopweteka.
• Mimba ndi kubereka zitha kukhala ndi gawo pa thupi lanu kapena thanzi lanu.

Kuyang'anira mwalamulo

Monga kukhazikitsidwa, kuyang'anira kumaphatikizapo kuyika mwana wanu ndi munthu wina kapena banja ndikuwalola kuti amulere. Mukamasankha munthu wokuyang'anirani m'malo mwa banja lolera, mumasunga ena mwa ufulu wanu monga kholo.

Njirayi ikhoza kukhala chisankho chabwino kwa inu ngati simungathe kulera mwana pakadali pano koma mukuwona momwe zinthu zikusinthira zaka zochepa, kapena ngati mukudziwa kuti mukufuna kukhala nawo pafupi ndi moyo wa mwana wanu.

Kusamalira kumatha kuphatikizira ndalama zothandizira ana mwezi uliwonse, chifukwa chake ndikofunikira kulingalira momwe mulili pachuma.

Ndani angakhale mlonda?

Anthu ambiri amasankha bwenzi lawo lapamtima kapena wachibale kuti akhale mlezi wa mwanayo. Komabe, njirayi imatha kukhala ndi zotulukapo zamaganizidwe, chifukwa chake ndikofunikira kulingalira mozama ndikukambirana momasuka, momasuka ndi omwe angakusungireni.

Ndingayambe bwanji ntchitoyi?

Ngati mungasankhe pa za kuyang'anira, muyenera kukambirana ndi loya. Malamulo okhudza kuyang'anira mosiyanasiyana amasiyana malinga ndi dera. Woyimira milandu angakuthandizeni kugwiritsa ntchito zomwe mungasankhe.

Ubwino woyang'anira

• Mutha kumuwona mwanayo.
• Mutha kukhala ndi zonena pazisankho zina, monga zachipembedzo kapena zamankhwala.
• Kusamalira kumatha kukhala kwakanthawi.
• Nthawi zambiri, mumasankha woyang'anira mwanayo.

Zoyang'anira

• Mutha kutsutsana ndi njira yolerera ya wothandizira.
• Mutha kukhala ndi nthawi yovuta kuwona wina akulera mwanayo.
• Zingakhale zopweteka kwa mwanayo komanso womuyang'anira mukadzakwanitsa kusunga mwanayo.

Kulera ana

Ngakhale simunakonzekere kukhala ndi ana kwazaka zambiri kapena simunaganizepo zakubereka ana, mwina mungaganizire kuthekera kokhala kholo.

Anthu ambiri amaona kuti kulera ana nkopindulitsa. Zitha kukhalanso zovuta, makamaka ngati mulibe chithandizo chochuluka. Ndalama zakulera zitha kuwonjezeka mwachangu, ngakhale mayiko ambiri amapereka zothandizira makolo ndi mabanja pamavuto azachuma.

Pali njira zingapo zopitira kulera, kutengera ubale wanu ndi kholo linalo.

Co-kulera

Kukhala kholo limodzi kumatanthauza kuti mumagawana maudindo a kholo limodzi ndi kholo lina la mwanayo, ngakhale mulibe chibwenzi.

Izi zitha kugwira ntchito bwino ngati:

• Muli ndi ubale wabwino ndi munthu winayo.
• Nonse mukufuna ana.
• Awiri a inu mutha kukhala ndi mgwirizano pamakonzedwe a kholo limodzi.

Komano, sizingakhale zabwino ngati:

• Abambo safuna kuchita chilichonse ndi inu kapena mwanayo.
• Chibwenzi chanu chinali chosokoneza (mwanjira iliyonse kapena mwakuthupi).
• Simukutsimikiza za kudzipereka kwa abambo pamwana.
• Simukufuna kukhala ndi gawo lililonse ndi abambo.

Musanapange chisankho, ndikofunikira kukambirana momasuka za momwe mumamvera ndi kulera.

Ngati mmodzi wa inu sanagulitsidwe pa lingalirolo, pakhoza kukhala mavuto kumapeto. Kuti mukhale kholo logwirizana, nonse muyenera kukhalabe ndi malingaliro.

Kumbukirani kuti anthu ena atha kusintha mitima (yabwino kapena yoyipa) mwana akangobadwa. Muyenera kulingalira kuthekera kwakuti kholo linalo silingafune kupitiriza kutengapo gawo pa moyo wa mwanayo pamunsi.

Kulera yekha ana

Palibe njira yozungulira: Kulera m'modzi kumatha kukhala kovuta. Koma anthu ambiri omwe amasankha kukhala kholo lokha amavomereza chisankhochi ndipo samadandaula, ngakhale atakumana ndi zovuta.

Kukhala kholo limodzi sikutanthauza kuti muyenera kuchita nokha. Makolo, abale, abale ena, ngakhale abwenzi angafune kutenga nawo mbali m'moyo wa mwanayo. Thandizo lamtunduwu litha kupanga kusiyana kwakukulu.

Kuyankhula ndi anthu omwe muli nawo pafupi kwambiri kungakuthandizeni kudziwa momwe mungathandizire ngati kholo limodzi.

Zinthu zofunika kuziganizira

Musanaganize zokhala kholo, muyeneranso kulingalira za zinthu zina zothandiza:

• Kodi muli ndi malo anuanu?
• Kodi ndinu okhazikika pankhani zachuma?
• Kodi mungapite kuntchito kapena kusukulu kwa miyezi ingapo, kapena muyenera kubwerera mukangobereka kumene?
• Kodi wina angayang'anire mwana wanu mukakhala kuntchito kapena kusukulu, kapena kodi muyenera kulipirira ndalama zosamalira ana?
• Kodi mutha kuthana ndi kukhala ndiudindo wathunthu pazosowa za wina?

Mutha kuda nkhawa kuti anzanu komanso abale anu angakuweruzeni posankha kukhala kholo lokhalo, koma zomwe angachite zingakudabwitseni.

Ngati mukuda nkhawa ndi zoyipa, lingalirani kukambirana ndi othandizira kuti akuthandizeni kuyembekezera mavuto aliwonse ndi kupeza mayankho. Kumbukirani, palibe mayankho olondola kapena olakwika pano.

Kulankhula ndi makolo ena omwe akulera okha ana kungakupatseninso lingaliro labwino lazomwe mungayembekezere kuchokera pantchito yonseyi.

Ngati mungasankhe kukhala kholo lokhalo, mungafunikire kuchedwa kapena kusintha zina mwazomwe mukufuna kuchita mtsogolo, komabe mutha kukhala ndi moyo wopindulitsa komanso wosangalatsa mukasankha njirayi.

Onetsetsani kuti mutenga nthawi kuti mulingalire zovuta zomwe zingachitike komanso momwe zingakhudzireni mtsogolo.

Ubwino wa kulera

• Kulera mwana kumatha kuwonjezera chisangalalo, chikondi, ndikukwaniritsa moyo wanu.
• Kutengera ndi momwe zinthu ziliri, kukhala ndi banja kumatha kukulitsa chisangalalo ndi moyo.
• Kusankha kholo limodzi kumatha kubweretsa mgwirizano wabwino kapena wabwino ndi kholo lina la mwanayo.

Kulera ana

• Kulera mwana kumafuna ndalama zambiri.
• Simungadziwitse momwe kholo linalo lidzachitire panjira.
• Muyenera kusiya kaye zolinga zanu zamtsogolo.
• Mimba komanso kubereka nthawi zina zimatha kukhala ndi zotsatira zazitali pamaganizidwe ndi malingaliro.
• Moyo wanu, zokonda zanu, kapena moyo wanu ungafunike kusintha.

Kupanga chisankho

Kupanga chisankho pamimba yosafunikira kumatha kukhala kovuta komanso kovuta. Pali zinthu zomwe mungachite kuti muchepetse njirayi.

Ngati mukuona kuti ndinu omasuka kuchita izi, yambani ndi kufikira anzanu odalirika kapena abale anu. Kuphatikiza pa kuwalimbikitsa, amatha kupereka upangiri ndi chitsogozo.

Koma pamapeto pake, chisankhocho chili kwa inu. Ichi ndi chisankho chaumwini chomwe chimakhudza thupi lanu, thanzi lanu, komanso tsogolo lanu. Ndi inu nokha amene mungaganizire zonse zomwe zikukhudzidwa ndikusankha zomwe zingakuthandizeni.

Mimba kapena alibe mimba?

Kumbukirani, kuchotsa mimba ndiyo njira yokhayo yosapitilira kutenga pakati. Ngati mudakali pa mpanda ngati mukufuna kupita ndi pakati kapena ayi, zingakuthandizeni kuphunzira zambiri za zomwe zimachitika mukakhala ndi pakati komanso pobereka.

Wopereka chithandizo mosakondera atha kuthandiza ndi zina mwa izi. Madera omwe ali pa intaneti kapena abwenzi komanso abale omwe adadutsapo atha kuthandizanso.

Ganizirani zamankhwala

Mosasamala kanthu komwe mukutsamira, kuyankhula ndi wothandizira yemwe wodziwa kuthana ndi mimba yosakonzekera kungapangitse kusiyana kwakukulu.

Amatha kukuthandizani kuti mumvetsetse momwe mumamvera mukakhala ndi pakati ndikuthandizaninso zomwe mungasankhe. Mukangopanga chisankho, atha kukuthandizaninso kudziwa zomwe mungachite, kuyambira pokambirana za kholo limodzi ndi kholo linalo kuti musankhe mtundu wabwino wamakhalidwe anu pazosowa zanu.

Mutha kupeza othandizira mdera lanu kudzera Psychology Today ndi American Psychological Association. Zolemba zonsezi zili ndi zosefera zomwe zimakulolani kuti mufufuze othandizira omwe amayang'ana kwambiri za kutenga pakati komanso kulera.

Mukuda nkhawa ndi mtengo wake? Kuwongolera kwathu kuchipatala chotsika mtengo kumatha kuthandizira.

Gwiritsani ntchito zinthu zofunikira

Pali zinthu zingapo zomwe zingathandize anthu pantchito yanu.

Planned Parenthood imapereka ntchito zosiyanasiyana zokhudzana ndi kutenga pakati, kuphatikiza otumiza ana, upangiri, ndi makalasi olera. Pezani malo m'dera lanu pano.

Wothandizira zaumoyo wanu amathanso kukutumizirani kuzomwe zingakuthandizeni. Kuphatikiza apo, makoleji ndi mayunivesite ali ndi malo azaumoyo komwe mungayeseko mimba, kuti mudziwe zambiri pazomwe mungasankhe, ndipo nthawi zambiri mumatumizidwa kwa wothandizira zaumoyo kapena kuchipatala.

Ngati mukuvutika kuti mupeze thandizo m'dera lanu, All-Options ndi njira yapaintaneti yoperekera upangiri waulere, wogwiritsa ntchito mafoni. Amapereka chithandizo chachifundo, chosakondera, chosasankha, mosasamala kanthu za lingaliro lanu.

Kalata yokhudza malo oyembekezera

Mukamayang'ana zomwe mungasankhe komanso zinthu zakomweko, mutha kukumana ndi malo oyembekezera omwe amapereka mayeso aulere aulere ndi ntchito zina. Amatha kudzitcha okha ngati malo oyembekezera pakati kapena malo opangira pakati.

Ngakhale kuti ena mwa malowa atha kukhala othandiza, ambiri adadzipereka kuti apewe kuchotsa mimba pazifukwa zachipembedzo kapena zandale. Izi zitha kuwoneka ngati lingaliro labwino ngati mukufuna njira zochotsera mimba, koma malowa atha kupereka zidziwitso zabodza kapena zosokeretsa zamankhwala.

Kuti muwone ngati malo oyembekezera angakupatseni chidziwitso chosakondera, aimbireni foni ndikufunsani izi:

• Ndi ntchito ziti zomwe mumapereka?
• Kodi muli ndi akatswiri azachipatala otani pantchito yanu?
• Kodi mumapereka makondomu kapena njira zina zolerera?
• Kodi mumayezetsa matenda opatsirana pogonana?
• Kodi mumapereka ntchito yochotsa mimba kapena kutumiza kwa omwe amapereka?

Ngati yankho la funso ili ndi lakuti ayi, kapena ogwira ntchito pachipatala sangayankhe mafunso ena, ndibwino kupewa malowa. Chitsimikizo chodalirika chimakhala choyambirira pazomwe amachita ndikupereka chidziwitso chopanda chiweruzo pazomwe mungasankhe.

Mfundo yofunika

Mimba yosakonzekera ikhoza kukhala yovuta kukumana nayo, makamaka ngati simukudziwa yemwe mungakambirane naye. Kulankhula ndi okondedwa anu kungathandize, koma kumbukirani: Ndi thupi lanu, ndipo kusankha choti muchite ndi kwanu nokha.

Crystal Raypole adagwirapo ntchito ngati wolemba komanso mkonzi wa GoodTherapy. Magawo ake achidwi akuphatikiza zilankhulo ndi mabuku aku Asia, kumasulira kwachijapani, kuphika, sayansi yachilengedwe, chiyembekezo chogonana, komanso thanzi lamaganizidwe.Makamaka, akudzipereka kuthandiza kuchepetsa manyazi pazokhudza matenda amisala.