Kodi Chimawerengedwa Kuti 'Chipinda Chogona Chakufa' Ndipo Zimakonzedwa Bwanji?

Zamkati

• Banja lililonse limatha kukhala ndi chipinda chogona
• Kodi "kufa" kumatanthauza kuti osagonana kwathunthu?
• Ndiye ndi chiyani kwenikweni?
• Zimayambitsa chiyani?
• Kupsinjika
• Thupi limasintha
• Ana
• Kupanda kukhutira
• Kodi mumabweretsa bwanji kwa mnzanu?
• Kodi mungadziwe bwanji ngati "chipinda chanu chakufa" ndi chizindikiro cha vuto lalikulu?
• Kodi mungatani kuti mupite patsogolo?
• Pangani pulani
• Lonjezerani chikondi cha tsiku ndi tsiku
• Ingokupsopsonani
• Onani mitundu ina yaubwenzi
• Pitani kukagula
• Mfundo yofunika

Banja lililonse limatha kukhala ndi chipinda chogona

Mawu oti "kufa kwa akazi ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha" akhalapo kuyambira kale, chabwino, kwanthawi yayitali pomwe pakhala pali U-hauls. Zimatanthawuza chodabwitsa muubwenzi wanthawi yayitali pomwe kugonana kumapita ku MIA.

Posachedwa, kuchokera pamenepo, mawu atsopano ophatikizira amuna ndi akazi adatulukira, akugwedeza mfundoyo zilizonse Moyo wogonana wa awiriwa ukhoza kutembenukira kwa omwe kulibe.

Kuyambitsa: chipinda chakufa.

Kodi "kufa" kumatanthauza kuti osagonana kwathunthu?

Chitha. Koma sizopatsidwa.

"Chipinda chogona chakufa sichachipatala," akutero a Jess O'Reilly, PhD, wolandila @SexWithDrJess Podcast.

Palibe njira zodziwitsira zaumoyo zomwe zakhala zikuchitika kwa nthawi yayitali bwanji osakhala mukugonana kapena nthawi zambiri mumayenera kugonana kuti mukhale pachibwenzi chogona.

"Anthu ena amati miyezi isanu ndi umodzi osagonana ikukwaniritsa izi mu chipinda chogona; ena amati muyenera kupita nthawi yayitali osagonana ndi amuna, ”akutero Dr. O'Reilly.

"Palibe nambala imodzi yomwe ungagwire ndikunena china chilichonse kupatula chipinda chogona," akutero Lisa Finn, wophunzitsa zachiwerewere ku Babeland.

Onse a Finn ndi Dr. O'Reilly akunena kuti munthu aliyense ndi okwatirana amafunika kusankha zomwe zimawerengedwa ngati chipinda chogona kwa iwo.

"Anthu ena amagonana katatu kapena kasanu pamlungu pazaka zoyambirira za chibwenzi chawo, kenako amayamba kugonana kamodzi pamlungu ndikunena kuti ali ndi chipinda chogona," akutero a Finn. "Mabanja ena nthawi zonse amangogonana patsiku lokumbukira tsiku lobadwa, ndipo samva ngati miyoyo yawo yakugonana yafa."

Kuphatikiza apo, anthu ena osakwatirana amasankha kupewa mchitidwe wina wogonana mpaka atakwatirana, koma amachita masewera ena akuthupi ndipo samadziona ngati chilala.

Ndiye ndi chiyani kwenikweni?

Kwenikweni, chipinda chakufa ndi pomwe inu ndi mnzanu munali ndi chizolowezi chogonana ndipo munachoka pamenepo - kwakanthawi kapena kwamuyaya.

Finn akuti izi zitha kukhala ngati chipinda chogona:

• Inu ndi mnzanu mukugonana mocheperapo kuposa "chizolowezi" chanu.
• Inu kapena wokondedwa wanu mukupewa kukhudzana ndi kugonana kapena kukhudzana.
• Inu kapena mnzanu mungawerenge kuti kugonana kwanu ndi "kosasangalatsa" kuposa masiku onse.
• Inu kapena mnzanu simukukhutira ndi momwe mumagonana kangati.

Zimayambitsa chiyani?

Tengani mpukutu kudzera pa tsamba la subreddit r / DeadBedrooms, lomwe lili ndi mamembala opitilira 200,000, ndipo mudzazindikira kuti pali zifukwa zambiri zomwe miyoyo ya maanja ingasinthire.

Amayendetsa masewerawo kuchokera kuthupi ndi m'maganizo mpaka kwamaganizidwe ndi thupi. Nazi zina mwazofala kwambiri:

Kupsinjika

Malinga ndi kafukufuku wa BodyLogicMD wa anthu 1,000 okhala ndi chipinda chogona, kupsinjika kwa ntchito kunali koyambirira.

Poganizira momwe thupi limakhudzira kupsinjika kwa thupi, izi ndizomveka.

"Mahomoni opanikizika atha kusokoneza kuyankha kwathu ndikudzutsa," akutero Dr. O'Reilly.

Ananenanso kuti: "Ngati muli ndi nkhawa zachuma, kungofuna kupeza ndalama, kapena kuda nkhawa kuti mudzakhala otetezeka komanso kupulumuka, kugonana kungakhale chinthu chovuta kwambiri kukumbukira."

Thupi limasintha

Zimakhala zachizolowezi kusintha kwamthupi kwina komwe kumakhudza moyo wanu wogonana.

Mwachitsanzo, mwa anthu omwe ali ndi zotupa, kusamba kwa thupi kumatha kubweretsa kuchepa kwa libido ndikuchepetsa kondedwe kachilengedwe.

Ndipo mwa anthu omwe ali ndi maliseche, pali vuto la erectile, lomwe nthawi zambiri limachitika pambuyo pake.

Kusamvana kwa mahomoni, kunenepa, matenda osachiritsika, komanso kuvulala kumathandizanso kusintha moyo wanu wogonana.

Komabe, zinthu izi sizimalunjika mwachindunji chifukwa chipinda chogona. Iwo ali chabe chothandizira, akutero Dr. O'Reilly. "Ngati inu ndi mnzanu simulankhula zakusinthaku ndikupanga zosintha zomwe zimakupatsani mwayi woyendetsa zogonana, mavutowa atha kuchepa."

Ana

"Chifukwa chofala kwambiri chomwe ndimawona chogona chogona chimaphatikizapo kukhala ndi ana," akutero Dr. O'Reilly.

Izi ndichifukwa choti ana amakhala otsogola komanso patsogolo, ndipo ubalewo umagwera njira.

Kupanda kukhutira

"Ngati simukusangalala ndi kugonana komwe mukukhala nako, simudzafuna kukhala nako," akutero Dr. O'Reilly. Chilungamo!

Kodi mumabweretsa bwanji kwa mnzanu?

Izi zimadalira chifukwa chomwe mukubweretsera.

Mafunso ena oti muzitsukapo musanalankhule ndi mnzanu:

• Kodi ndikufuna kuchita zogonana kuposa momwe ndimakhalira?
• Kodi ndikufuna ndikhale ndi mnzanga?
• Kodi pali mphindi, chochitika, kapena chinthu chimodzi chomwe chapangitsa kuti zisinthe?
• Kodi ndikumverera chilichonse (monga mkwiyo kapena liwongo) chomwe chasokoneza chidwi changa pa zogonana?

Kupewa kugonana, kapena kugonana "pang'ono", sikumakhala kwamavuto.

Anthu ena safuna kugonana ndipo ngati nonse muli patsamba limodzi, mutha kukhala ndi ubale wokwaniritsa bwino, atero Dr. O'Reilly.

Ngati mukusangalala ndi moyo wanu wogonana (osati wapamwamba), mungafune kuyesa kutentha ndikuwona ngati wokondedwa wanu ali wokhutira, inunso.

Yesani: “Ndimakondadi momwe maubwenzi amawonekera muubwenzi wathu, ndipo makamaka ndimakondwera ndi [njira yomwe mumayanjanitsira chilumikizano kupatula zogonana pano]. Ndimangofuna kuti ndione kuti mukumva bwanji za ubale wathu. ”

Ngati muwona kuti nthawi yocheperako ikukuvutitsani ndipo mukufuna kukhala ndi zogonana zambiri kuposa zomwe mumachita - makamaka ndi wokondedwa wanu - ndi nthawi yocheza.

"Mukufuna kuti musayimbe mlandu," akutero a Finn. Izi ndizofunikira! "Cholinga chakuchezeraku sikulankhula za zomwe sizili bwino, koma kukambirana zomwe mukufuna kuti muwone zambiri."

Kumverera kumangika lilime? Finn akuwonetsa template yotsatirayi:

1. Kambiranani za zomwe zakhala zikuyenda bwino mu ubale wanu
2. Afunseni momwe akhala akumvera
3. Gawani zomwe mukufuna kuti muwone zambiri
4. Pangani malo kuti agawane chimodzimodzi

Ngati kuyesa kwanu koyamba sikukuwoneka kopindulitsa, yesaninso.

Ngati nthawi yachiwiri imamvanso chimodzimodzi, mutha kufunafuna wogonana kapena wothandizirana ndi mabanja, omwe angathandize kukambirana ndikuthandizani kuti nonse mumve.

Kodi mungadziwe bwanji ngati "chipinda chanu chakufa" ndi chizindikiro cha vuto lalikulu?

"Nkhani sizigwira ntchito pachabe, chifukwa chake ndizotheka kuti moyo wanu wogonana wasintha chifukwa chazovuta kwambiri muubwenzi," akutero Dr. O'Reilly.

Mwachitsanzo, ngati mnzake akuchita zambiri pakusamalira banja, kulera ana, kapena kugwira ntchito, sizachilendo kuti munthuyo ataye chidwi chogonana ndi mnzake.

Zomwezo zimapitanso ngati wina akwiyira mzake pazifukwa zina, monga kusamutsidwa ntchito, kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo, kapena kusakhulupirika.

"Kukwiya ndiko kutsutsana ndi zikhumbo ndi zosangalatsa," akutero Dr. O'Reilly.

Finn akuti ndizofala kuti anthu azimitsa thupi akamawononga. Ndipo, nthawi zina, "chipinda chogona chakufa" ndi chisonyezo chakuti mwatuluka muubwenzi.

Kodi mungatani kuti mupite patsogolo?

Zimatengera zomwe inu ndikufuna kupita chitsogolo.

Ngati mukufuna kugonana kwambiri koma wokondedwa wanu sakufuna, mutha kuyesa:

• kuonera zolaula zambiri
• kuseweretsa maliseche kapena limodzi
• kuyesa zidole zatsopano zogonana
• kukwera makina ogonana
• kupita kuphwando lachiwerewere

Muthanso kulingalira za osakwatira.

Ngati mukufuna kukhala ndi zibwenzi zogonana kuposa mnzanu, ndipo m'modzi kapena nonse simukufuna kutsegula chibwenzicho, Finn akuti: "Mungafunike kutha."

Ditto ngati pali vuto lomwe mnzanu sakufuna kuthana nanu. Kapena kuti simukufuna kuthana nawo.

Koma ngati inu ndi mnzanu mukufuna kupumuliranso moyo wanu wogonana, Dr. O'Reilly ali ndi malangizo awa:

Pangani pulani

“Kodi umafuna kugona kangati? Lankhulani za izo! ” Akutero Dr. O'Reilly. Kenako pezani njira yopangira izi.

Lonjezerani chikondi cha tsiku ndi tsiku

Simuyenera kuchita kudzikakamiza kuti mugonane, koma kodi mungakhale otseguka kuti muzitha kugona pabedi pamene mukuwonera Netflix? Nanga bwanji pamene muli maliseche?

Ingokupsopsonani

Muzipatsana mameseji kwambiri, ngati ndicholinga chokwaniritsidwa. Yambani ndi mphindi 10 patsiku.

"Masitepe ang'onoang'ono omwe amafalikira pakapita nthawi amakhala ndi zotulukapo zabwino kuposa kusintha kwakukulu komwe kumavuta kukhazikitsa ndikukhazikika," akutero Dr. O'Reilly.

Onani mitundu ina yaubwenzi

Mukakhala kuti simuli mumtima, kugonana kumatha kumva ngati kopita patali.

Ganizirani zakuwonera zolaula, kupsompsonana, kuseweretsa maliseche pafupi, kusisita, kapena kusamba ndi mnzanu, akutero Dr. O'Reilly.

Ngati zikukufikitsani mumtima, khalani nanu! Ngati sichoncho, palibe kukakamizidwa.

Pitani kukagula

Kuyambira lube mpaka ma vibrator mpaka mphete za mbolo, zida zogonana zimatha kupumira moyo watsopano kuchipinda chanu chogona.

Mfundo yofunika

Monga kubera, kubera pang'ono, kugonana, ndi kink, zomwe zimawerengedwa ngati "chipinda chogona" zimasiyanasiyana ubale ndi ubale, kutengera nthawi yanu yakukondweretsana.

Zinthu zambiri zimatha kubweretsa kuchipinda chakufa - zina zikuwonetsa vuto lalikulu muubwenzi, zina ayi. Mosasamala kanthu, ngati zikukhumudwitsa m'modzi kapena angapo, ndi nthawi yoti mukambirane.

Nkhaniyi itha kukhala yopumira, yopanga zodzikongoletsera, kapena itha kukuthandizani kukhazikitsa dongosolo la hanky-panky.

A Gabrielle Kassel ndi mlembi wa ku New York wogonana komanso wathanzi komanso Mphunzitsi wa CrossFit Level 1. Amakhala munthu wam'mawa, adayesa opitilira 200, ndikudya, kuledzera, ndikupaka makala - zonsezi mdzina la utolankhani. Munthawi yake yaulere, amapezeka kuti amawerenga mabuku azodzilankhulira ndi ma buku achikondi, kukanikiza benchi, kapena kuvina. Tsatirani iye mopitirira Instagram.