Kodi Kukhala Mwamuna Ndi Mkazi Kumatanthauza Chiyani?

Zamkati

• Kodi kugonana kumatanthauza chiyani kwenikweni?
• Mukukambirana za mtundu wanji wachikondi?
• Dikirani, bwanji izi zikufunika chizindikiro?
• Kodi mgwirizano wapamtima umatsimikizira kuti kukopeka ndi kugonana kungayambike?
• Kodi mawonekedwewa amakwanira pansi pa ambulera ya asexual?
• Kodi mungalembetseko zamtundu wa jenda pa izi?
• Kodi kukhala ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha kumawoneka bwanji pochita?
• Kodi izi ndizosiyana bwanji ndi kugonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha?
• Kodi ndizotheka kukhala onse nthawi imodzi kapena kusinthasintha pakati pa awiriwa?
• Nanga bwanji kwina kulikonse? Kodi mungasunthire pakati pa nthawi yogonana ndi kugonana?
• Kodi amuna ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amatha kukhala ndi zokopa zina?
• Kodi kukhala ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha kumatanthauzanji kuubwenzi wapakati?
• Kodi ndibwino kusafuna chibwenzi konse?
• Nanga bwanji zogonana?
• Kodi kuseweretsa maliseche kumagwirizana pati?
• Mukudziwa bwanji komwe mumakwanira pansi pa ambulera ya asexual - ngati sichoncho?
• Kodi mungaphunzire kuti zambiri zakugonana?

Kodi kugonana kumatanthauza chiyani kwenikweni?

Demisexuality ndimakhalidwe azakugonana pomwe anthu amangokopeka ndi anthu omwe ali ndi mayanjano apamtima.

Mwanjira ina, anthu ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amangokopeka atagwirizana.

Mukukambirana za mtundu wanji wachikondi?

Kugwirizana kotereku sikutanthauza chikondi kapena kukondana.

Kwa anthu ena ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, atha kukhala mabwenzi - kuphatikiza zibwenzi zambiri.

Mwina sangakonde munthuyo - kaya ndi chibwenzi kapena ayi - ayi.

Dikirani, bwanji izi zikufunika chizindikiro?

Chikhalidwe chathu chimafotokoza omwe timakopeka nawo. Anthu ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amakopeka ndi gulu la anthu.

Mutha kudabwa, "Koma kodi ambiri a ife sitidikirira kuti timve kulumikizana ndi munthu wina tisanagonane naye?"

Inde, anthu ambiri amasankha kungogonana ndi anthu omwe ali ndi ubale nawo - kaya ndiukwati, chibwenzi chodzipereka, kapenaubwenzi wosangalala komanso wodalirika.

Kusiyanitsa ndikuti kugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha sikutanthauza kugonana. Ndizokhudza kutengeka ndi chidwi chakugonana kwa anthu enaake.

Mutha kukopeka ndi munthu wina popanda kugonana naye, ndipo mutha kugonana ndi munthu wina osakopeka naye.

Anthu ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha sianthu wamba omwe amasankha kukhala pachibwenzi ndi wina kwa nthawi yayitali asanagone nawo. Sikuti ndikusankha zogonana, koma kuti ndikumverera kukopeka ndi winawake.

Izi zati, anthu ena ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha atha kusankha kudikirira kaye asanagonane ndi wokondana naye - koma izi sizoyenderana ndi kugonana kwawo.

Kodi mgwirizano wapamtima umatsimikizira kuti kukopeka ndi kugonana kungayambike?

Ayi!

Amuna ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amakopeka ndi akazi, koma sikuti amakopeka ndi mkazi aliyense amene wakumana naye.

Mofananamo, kugonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha sikukutanthauza kuti munthu wogonana amakopeka ndi aliyense amene ali ndi mgwirizano wapamtima naye.

Kodi mawonekedwewa amakwanira pansi pa ambulera ya asexual?

Funso ili ndi lomwe limayambitsa zokambirana zambiri m'magulu azakugonana, amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, komanso atsikana ogonana.

Munthu wokonda zachiwerewere samakopeka ndi kugonana. "Chokopa chakugonana" ndikupeza kupeza winawake wokopeka ndikugonana naye.

Chosiyana ndi kugonana ndi kugonana, komwe kumatchedwanso kuti amuna kapena akazi okhaokha.

Kugonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha nthawi zambiri kumatengedwa ngati "midpoint" pakati pa kugonana ndi kugonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha - anthu ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha nthawi zambiri samakopeka ndi kugonana, kapena amakumana nawo mwamphamvu.

Anthu ena amati kugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha sikugwirizana pansi pa ambulera ya asexual chifukwa kumangotanthauza zochitika zomwe zimakusangalatsani. Sichikutanthauza kuti mumakopeka kangati kapena kwambiri.

Wina yemwe amakonda kukopeka ndi anzawo pafupifupi onse - koma osati kwa omwe amawadziwa kapena osawadziwa - angaganize kuti ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha koma osagonana konse.

Wina yemwe amangokopeka ndi mnzake kapena awiri apamtima kapena abwenzi, koma osati pafupipafupi komanso mwamphamvu, amatha kuzindikira kuti ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha.

Kumbali inayi, anthu amati kutsutsana pakati pa amuna ndi akazi kumakhala pansi pa chikwangwani cha asexual. Izi ndichifukwa choti kugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha kumafotokoza zomwe zimangokuchititsani kukopeka ndi kugonana pang'ono.

Kumapeto kwa tsikuli, zilibe kanthu kuti wina aliyense angaganize za komwe malingalirowa amagwera pazowonera-amuna kapena akazi okhaokha.

Mumaloledwa kuzindikira momwe mungafunire, ndipo mwalandilidwa kusankha zilembo zingapo kuti mufotokozere zomwe mumakonda.

Kodi mungalembetseko zamtundu wa jenda pa izi?

Maina ambiri okhudzana ndi zachiwerewere - monga amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, kapena amuna kapena akazi okhaokha - amatanthauza amuna kapena akazi omwe timakopeka nawo.

Demisexual ndiyosiyana chifukwa imafotokoza za ubale wathu ndi anthu omwe timakopeka nawo. Ndibwino kuti mugwiritse ntchito tanthauzo lomwe limatanthauzanso za jenda.

Inde, mutha kukhala amuna kapena akazi okhaokha komanso amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, ndi zina zotero - zilizonse zomwe zingafotokozere bwino zomwe mumakonda.

Kodi kukhala ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha kumawoneka bwanji pochita?

Kukhala amuna ndi akazi kumawoneka mosiyana ndi anthu osiyanasiyana.

Ngati ndinu ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, mutha kukhala ndi malingaliro ngati awa:

• Nthawi zambiri ndimakopeka ndi anthu amene ndimawaona mumsewu, osawadziwa, kapena anzanga.
• Ndakhala ndikulakalaka kugonana ndi munthu amene ndimakonda kwambiri (monga mnzanga kapena wokondana naye).
• Kulumikizana kwanga ndi munthu kumakhudza ngati ndimakopeka naye.
• Sindimadzutsidwa kapena kukhala ndi chidwi choganiza zogonana ndi munthu amene sindikumudziwa bwino, ngakhale atakhala wokongola kapena ali ndi umunthu wosangalatsa.

Izi zati, onse ogonana amuna ndi akazi ndi osiyana, ndipo mutha kukhala amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ngakhale simukugwirizana ndi zomwe tatchulazi.

Kodi izi ndizosiyana bwanji ndi kugonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha?

Anthu ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amangokopeka atagwirizana kwambiri. Izi ndizosiyana ndi zomwe nthawi zambiri zimakopeka ndi kugonana.

Anthu ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amatha kukopeka ndi kugonana nthawi zambiri komanso mwamphamvu, koma ndi anthu omwe ali nawo pafupi.

Mofananamo, anthu ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha atha kupeza kuti akamakopeka ndi kugonana, sizitanthauza kuti ndi anthu omwe ali ndiubwenzi wapamtima.

Kodi ndizotheka kukhala onse nthawi imodzi kapena kusinthasintha pakati pa awiriwa?

Inde. Mutha kuzindikira kuti ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha kapena amuna kapena akazi okhaokha kapena amuna kapena akazi okhaokha. Zimakhalanso bwino kwathunthu kusinthasintha pakati pamalingaliro.

Nanga bwanji kwina kulikonse? Kodi mungasunthire pakati pa nthawi yogonana ndi kugonana?

Inde. Monga tanenera kale, anthu ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amatha kuzindikira kuti ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, kapena amuna kapena akazi okhaokha.

Kugonana ndi malingaliro ndizamadzi. Mutha kupeza kuthekera kwanu kokopa kwakusintha kwakanthawi. Mwachitsanzo, mutha kusiya kukhala amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ndikukhala ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ndikukhala ogonana.

Chosangalatsa ndichakuti, Kafukufuku wa Asexual wa 2015 adapeza kuti opitilira 80 peresenti ya omwe anafunsidwa adadziwika kuti ndi njira ina asadazindikire za asexual, zomwe zikuwonetsa momwe kugonana kumakhalira.

Kumbukirani: Izi sizikutanthauza kuti sanali kwenikweni aliyense amene amadziwika ndi kale, ndipo sizitanthauza kuti siotsogola tsopano.

Zolinga zamadzimadzi sizothandiza kwenikweni kuposa zopanda madzi.

Kodi amuna ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amatha kukhala ndi zokopa zina?

Inde! Anthu ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha atha kukhala ndi zokopa zina. Izi zingaphatikizepo:

• Kukopa kwachikondi: kulakalaka chibwenzi ndi wina
• Kukongola kokongola: kukopeka ndi wina kutengera momwe akuwonekera
• Kukopa kwakuthupi kapena kwakuthupi: kufuna kukhudza, kugwira, kapena kukumbatata munthu
• Kukopa kwa Plato: kufuna kucheza ndi munthu wina
• Kukopa pamtima: kufuna kulumikizana ndi winawake

Kodi kukhala ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha kumatanthauzanji kuubwenzi wapakati?

Anthu ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha atha kufuna kapena sangakonde kukondana komanso mgwirizano.

Mu maubwenzi, anthu ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha atha kusankha kapena sangasankhe kugonana. Kwa anthu ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, kugonana mwina sikungakhale kofunikira muubwenzi. Kwa ena, ndizofunikira.

Anthu ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha angaganize kuti mgwirizano wawo ndi wokondedwa wawo suli pafupi kwenikweni kuti iwo azimva kukopeka ndi wokondedwa wawo.

Ena angasankhe kudikirira mpaka atakhala pafupi ndi anzawo, ndipo ena atha kusiya kwathunthu.

Ena amatha kugonana ndi wokondedwa wawo osakopeka ndi bwenzi lawo. Munthu aliyense wogonana ndi wosiyana.

Kodi ndibwino kusafuna chibwenzi konse?

Inde. Anthu ambiri - kuphatikiza amuna ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha - safuna maubale ndipo ndizabwino.

Kumbukirani kuti kukhala ndiubwenzi wamalingaliro ndi wina sikuli kofanana ndi kukhala kapena kufuna chibwenzi ndi iwo.

Chifukwa chake, munthu wogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha atha kukhala ndiubwenzi ndi wina ndikumakopeka naye, koma osati kufuna kukondana naye.

Nanga bwanji zogonana?

Kukhala wokonda amuna kapena akazi okhaokha sikutanthauza kuthekera kwako kosangalala ndi kugonana, koma kukopeka ndi kugonana.

Palinso kusiyana pakati pa zokopa zakugonana ndi machitidwe ogonana. Mutha kukopeka ndi munthu wina osagonana naye, ndipo mutha kugonana ndi munthu amene simukukopeka naye.

Pali zifukwa zambiri zomwe anthu amagonana, kuphatikiza:

• kukhala ndi pakati
• kumva chibwenzi
• chifukwa cholumikizana
• kusangalala ndi kusangalala
• kuyesera

Chifukwa chake, anthu ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha - monga gulu lina lililonse la anthu - atha kugona ndi anthu omwe sanakopeke nawo.

Ponena za anthu ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha komanso imvi, onse ndi osiyana, ndipo amatha kukhala ndi malingaliro osiyanasiyana pazakugonana. Mawu omwe amagwiritsidwa ntchito pofotokoza zakumverera izi ndi awa:

• ogonana nawo, kutanthauza kuti sakonda kugonana ndipo sakufuna kukhala nawo
• osagonana, kutanthauza kuti amamva kufunda pa nkhani zogonana
• zogonana, kutanthauza kuti amalakalaka ndikusangalala ndi kugonana

Kodi kuseweretsa maliseche kumagwirizana pati?

Achiwerewere ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amatha kuseweretsa maliseche.

Izi zikuphatikiza anthu ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha omwe amathanso kuzindikira kuti ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha. Ndipo inde, zimatha kukhala zosangalatsa kwa iwo.

Apanso, munthu aliyense ndi wapadera, ndipo zomwe munthu mmodzi wogonana amakhala nazo sizomwe munthu wina amasangalala nazo.

Mukudziwa bwanji komwe mumakwanira pansi pa ambulera ya asexual - ngati sichoncho?

Palibe kuyesa kudziwa ngati mukugonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, kapena amuna kapena akazi okhaokha.

Mungapeze zothandiza kudzifunsa mafunso ngati awa:

• Kodi ndimakopeka ndi ndani?
• Kodi ndimawamva bwanji anthuwa?
• Kodi ndimakopeka kangati ndikamagonana?
• Kukopa kwachiwerewere kukukulira?
• Kodi kukopeka ndi chinthu chofunikira posankha anthu oti ndizicheza nawo?
• Kodi ndimakopeka ndi anthu osawadziwa kapena anzanga?

Inde, palibe mayankho olondola kapena olakwika. Munthu aliyense wogonana amatha kuyankha mosiyanasiyana kutengera momwe akumvera komanso zokumana nazo.

Komabe, kudzifunsa nokha mafunso awa kungakuthandizeni kumvetsetsa ndikusintha momwe mumamvera mukakopeka ndi kugonana.

Kodi mungaphunzire kuti zambiri zakugonana?

Mutha kuphunzira zambiri zakugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi pa intaneti kapena pamisonkhano yapamaso yaomwe mumakumana nawo. Ngati muli ndi gulu la LGBTQA + kwanuko, mutha kulumikizana ndi anthu ena ogonana komweko.

Muthanso kuphunzira zambiri kuchokera:

• Asexual Visibility and Education Network wiki site, komwe mungafufuze matanthauzidwe amawu osiyanasiyana okhudzana ndi kugonana komanso malingaliro.
• Demisexuality Resource Center
• mabwalo ngati forum ya AVEN ndi demisexuality subreddit
• Magulu a Facebook ndi malo ena pa intaneti a amuna ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha

Sian Ferguson ndi wolemba komanso wolemba pawokha ku Cape Town, South Africa. Zolemba zake zimakhudzana ndi chikhalidwe cha anthu, chamba, komanso thanzi. Mutha kufikira kwa iye Twitter.