Momwe Mungayendetsere Ndale #RealTalk Nthawi Za Tchuthi

Zamkati

• Masewera Asanachitike
• Chochitika Chachikulu
• Pambuyo pa Phwando
• Onaninso za

Si chinsinsi kuti uwu udali chisankho chankhanza - kuyambira zokambirana pakati pa omwe akufuna kupita nawo kumikangano yomwe ikuchitika pa Facebook newsfeed, palibe chomwe chingafalitse anthu mwachangu kuposa kulengeza wosankhidwa nawo wandale. Anthu ambiri, atatopa ndi kampeni yayitali kwambiri m'mbiri, adati sangangodikirira kuti chisankho chithe. Zomwe anthu ambiri sanayembekezere, komabe, ndikuti zisankho zikangomaliza, nkhondo yayikulu iyamba.

Icing pamwamba pa keke ya pulezidenti, ndithudi, ndi chakuti nyengo ya tchuthi ikubwera. Kutanthauzira: Inu ndi alllll abale anu muli masiku ochepa kuti mukhale pansi patebulo lalikulu lapa banja kumayerekezera kuti zonse zili bwino, ngakhale mukudziwa Amalume Tom adalemba kuwira kwina pachisankho chawo, ndipo msuweni wanu sanavote konse. Zedi, banja lanu likhoza kupulumuka sewero lina (um, Azakhali a Martha adapeza njira kuledzera kwambiri pa tsiku lobadwa la Agogo), koma mukangowonjezera zokambirana zandale? Stuffing yatsala pang'ono kugunda fan.

Ichi ndichifukwa chake tidapanga izi-zitsogozo zothanirana ndi nyengo ya tchuthi osalola ma konsolo andale asanduke Nkhondo Yachitatu Yapadziko Lonse. (Ndipo ngakhale malangizowa ali ofunikira pakali pano, mutha kuwagwiritsa ntchito kuti mudutse zokambirana zilizonse zotsika pansi pomwe mumamva ngati mutha kuphulika-kuchokera ku "N'chifukwa chiyani simunakwatirebe?" mpaka "Digirii yolumikizirana ikugwira ntchito bwanji? inu?")

Ndipo ngati izi zachuluka kale, imani kaye ndikuyang'ana zinthu 25 izi zomwe zatsimikizika kuti aliyense azisangalala.

Masewera Asanachitike

1. Dziwani komwe mumatsatira

Chowonadi ndi chakuti, kaya ma convos akuluakulu ali okhudzana ndi chipembedzo, ndale, kapena zosankha zina zofunika pamoyo, sizikhala za mutu womwe uli pafupi - ndizokhudza zomwe mumakonda.

Izi zimayamba ndikuzindikira momwe mumamvera; tikukhala pachikhalidwe chomwe chimangokhalira kuganizira zabwino ndikupitabe patsogolo kotero kuti anthu ambiri achita zinthu zokhudzana ndi kukhumudwa kapena kukhumudwa, atero a Susan David, katswiri wama psychology ku Harvard Medical School komanso wolemba Emotional Agility.

"Ndikofunikira kuti anthu azilola kumverera momwe akumvera m'malo mongoyesa kupitiliza, ndikuzindikira kuti kutengeka kumeneku nthawi zambiri kumakhala chizindikiro cha zinthu zomwe timasamala nazo," akutero. Akhoza kutithandiza kumveketsa bwino zomwe timayendera, zolinga zathu, komanso momwe timafunira kukhala m'dziko. (Kutulutsa zenizeni kumakupangitsani kukhala ndi thanzi labwino.)

Mwachitsanzo, ngati mukukana kuvotera Clinton chifukwa chonena kuti ndinu achinyengo komanso zobisika, izi zitha kutanthauza kuti mumakonda kukhulupilira. Ngati mumamva kwambiri kuti musavotere Trump chifukwa cha zomwe ananena zokhudza amayi kapena anthu ochepa, mwina ndikuti mumayamikira kufanana ndi kusiyana. Kuwona makolo anu, abwenzi, kapena antchito anzanu akuvotera wotsutsana nawo kungamve ngati kuwukira kwanu; ngati adavotera munthu winayo, zikuwoneka ngati sayenera kukhala ndi zikhalidwe zofanana ndi zanu.

Njira yothanirana ndi vutoli: Limbikitsani zomwe mumayendera, ndipo tchulani mwachindunji. "Kafukufuku akuwonetsa kuti kuwonetsa bwino zomwe umayang'ana kumathandiza kupirira kwako kwambiri," akutero David. "Kudziwa kuti ndinu ndani komanso zomwe mumayimira kumakhala kampasi yotitsogolera munthawi imeneyi." Kukhala ndi zifukwa zomveka zomwe zimakupangitsani kumva mwanjira inayake kumathandiza kuti musamachite mantha.

2.Lembani

Mukudandaula kwambiri ndi zotsatira za zisankho komanso zomwe zingatanthauze chakudya cham'banja lanu (kapena kukumananso ndi anzanu akale, kapena tchuthi chanu cha tchuthi)? Yesani kulemba za izo kwa mphindi 20 patsiku. Kafukufuku akusonyeza kuti kudzakuthandizani kuona bwino mmene anthu ena akumvera komanso mmene anthu ena amachitira zinthu, anatero David.

"Mumayamba kukulitsa kuthekera kofunikira kwambiri kuti muwone mawonekedwe ena, omwe ndikofunikira kwambiri monga anthu kuti athe kumvetsetsa," akutero. "Makamaka popeza chisankhochi chimayang'ana kwambiri" zina-ing. " Anali ife motsutsana ndi iwo. Kuposa china chilichonse pakadali pano, kuzindikira zinthu ndikofunikira kwambiri. " (Nazi njira zina zabwino zothanirana ndi mkwiyo.)

3. Chitani zina "Ngati ... Ndiye ..." kukonzekera

Mwakhala pafupi ndi banja lanu kwazaka makumi angapo, kotero mukudziwa momwe zimakhalira. Mukudziwa yemwe ati akankhire mabatani anu m'njira zinazake-kokonzekerani ndendende. Gwiritsani ntchito ulendo wanu wapaulendo, woyendetsa galimoto, kapena wapamtunda wopita kunyumba kutchuthi kuganizira momwe mungakambirane ndi momwe mungachitire ndi iwo.

David anati: “Simungathe kulamulira zimene anthu ena amanena kapena kuchita. "Koma kuganiza mozama mawu akuti 'ngati, ndiye' kungakuthandizeni kukhala wokonzeka kwambiri, wanzeru, komanso wolumikizana ndi inu nokha pazochitikazo m'malo momangochita zinthu zomwe nthawi zambiri sizingakhale zothandiza."

4. Khazikitsani malire pasadakhale

"Ngati mukuchititsa mwambowu, ndikuganiza kuti ndizovomerezeka kuti munene kuti: 'Palibe ndale masiku ano,' akutero Julie de Azevedo Hanks, Ph.D., LCSW "Chifukwa cha kusasinthasintha komanso kukula kwa chisankho, monga "Ndikuganiza kuti muli ndi ufulu wokhazikitsa lamuloli."

Koma mukuganiza chiyani? Ngati mwakhumudwa kwambiri, koma mukukonzekera kutseka pakamwa panu ndikunyalanyaza njovu m'chipindamo, mwina idzakubwezerani, akutero David. Ndiko kutchedwa kubotolo . Amatchedwa kutaya mtima ndipo ndizofanana ndikudya mowa pitsa yonse 2 koloko Lachisanu usiku chifukwa mwakhala mukuyesetsa kwambiri kuti musadye chakudya chanu sabata yonseyi.

Chochitika Chachikulu

1. Zindikirani kuti si nkhani ya ndale

M’malo momangodziteteza, vomerezani zimene mukuganiza kuti mnzanuyo akuonadi. "Tonsefe timaganiza kuti timaganizira kwambiri zinthu, koma palibe amene ali," akutero Hanks. "Pali kutengeka kwakukulu komwe kumayendetsa mayankho ambiri amphamvuwa. Ndimakonda kuganiza kuti kutsutsidwa kulikonse ndi pempho lamaganizo ... Imvani gawo lamalingaliro lomwe akufuna kuti mumve. Chifukwa, kwenikweni, pachimake chathu, tonsefe. tikufuna zinthu zomwezo: kulemekezedwa, kumva, kuyamikiridwa, kumvetsetsa, tikufuna kudziwa kuti ndife ofunika kwa winawake. " Mukatha kuvomereza izi ndikuvomereza, zinthu zimasiyana kwambiri, akutero. (Mwatsala pang'ono kuwomba? Yesani masitepe odekha komanso olimba mtima awa kuti mukhazikike mtima pansi mukatsala pang'ono kuchita mantha.)

2. Dziwani nthawi yotuluka

Ngati wina ayambitsa zokambirana pamsewu mukudziwa kuti zikhala zovuta, khalani omasuka kutuluka-ingovomerezani ndemanga zawo poyamba, akutero Hanks. "Palibe amene angakulowerereni pazokambirana zazandale popanda kufunitsitsa kwanu kukambirana," akutero. "Mutha kukhala aulemu kwenikweni ndikuwatsimikizira kapena kuwamva ndikusintha nkhaniyo."

Chifukwa mumadziwa zomwe mumayendera, mutha kusankha ngati zokambirana zapita mpaka pomwe simukufunanso kukhala nawo. "Dzifunseni kuti: Kodi ndingagwirizane bwanji pakati pamacheza omwe ndimakhala mwakachetechete ndikumamvetsera, motsutsana ndi nthawi yomwe ndiyenera kuchoka," akutero David.

Mukayamba kumva kutentha komwe kuli m'chifuwa chanu kapena mfundo pakhosi panu, itha kukuthandizani kuti musindikize pang'ono kuti muzindikire zomwe zikuchitika. Ngati mutha kuzindikira kuti mukukwiya, kukhumudwa, kukhumudwa, kuperekedwa, ndi zina zambiri, zitha kuthandiza kukhazikitsa danga pakati panu ndi malingaliro amenewo, atero a David. Izi zimakupatsani inu kuwongolera, m'malo mololeza kuti muzilamuliridwa. (PS science ikuti pali mwayi kuti uli ndi njala, osakwiya kwenikweni.)

Kuchokera pamenepo, ganizirani momwe chinthu chotsatira chikuwonetsera mfundo zomwe mumayendera komanso zomwe mukufuna kukhala munthu. Kodi mukufuna kukhala munthu amene akutuluka mwaukali mchipinda, kapena munthu yemwe mwapang'onopang'ono amadzudzula za kufunika kwa kuwona mtima, kusiyanasiyana, ndi zina zambiri?

Pambuyo pa Phwando

Kumbukirani: Tonsefe ndife anthu

"Tsopano chisankho chatha, uwu ndi mwayi woti tiganizire zolumikizana komanso kufanana, ngakhale titakhala kuti sitikugwirizana pazinthu kapena omwe akufuna," akutero Hanks. Pamapeto pake, aliyense ali ndi zofuna, zosowa, ndi mantha omwewo; anthu amaopa zamtsogolo, amafuna kusamalira mabanja awo, kukhala ndi maubale abwino, kumva kukhala otetezeka, kumva ulemu, kutsimikizika, ndikumvetsetsa.

Mapeto ake, tchuthi ndi nthawi yosangalalira ndikukhala limodzi-mwina mwina ingokhalani mukuyankhula za amphaka pa intaneti komanso momwe amakondera Turkey, ndikusunga zokambirana zandale za Tsiku la Purezidenti. (Ndipo ngati mukukwiyabe, onetsani kukhumudwitsidwa kwanu muntchito yolimbana ndi mkwiyoyi.)

Onaninso za