Zosabereka Zimakhudza Ubale. Nazi Momwe Mungachitire

Zamkati

• Kusabereka komanso maubale okondana
• Kusabereka komanso kucheza nawo
• Osabereka komanso makolo ako
• Kusabereka komanso ana okulirapo
• Momwe mungasungire ubale wanu mukukumana ndi kusabereka
• Sankhani omwe mungamukhulupirire ndikugawana zomwe mwakumana nazo
• Kulumikiza malumikizidwe atsopano
• Funsani thandizo lomwe mukufuna
• Dziwani zomwe zimayambitsa
• Pangani malo okondana komanso osangalatsa
• Pezani chithandizo

Kusabereka kungakhale msewu wosungulumwa, koma simuyenera kuyenda nokha.

Palibe amene angakane kuti kusabereka kungakhudze kwambiri thanzi lanu lamaganizidwe ndi thupi.

Mahomoni, kukhumudwitsidwa, singano ndi mayeso zonse zimakhudza thanzi lanu. Palibe njira yofotokozera zowawa zazikulu zomwe zimadza chifukwa choyesera - kulephera - kuti mupange moyo watsopano ndi banja latsopano ndi chisangalalo chanu.

Koma zomwe sizimakambidwa kawirikawiri ndi momwe kusabereka kumakhudzira zamakono maubale m'moyo wanu.

akuwonetsa kuti kusabereka nthawi zambiri kumakhala kosungulumwa kwambiri, zomwe zimangoipitsidwa chifukwa cha kusintha kwakukulu komwe kumayambitsa muubwenzi wanu womwe ulipo. Manyazi, manyazi, ndi manyazi zonse zimakhala ndi zotsatirapo. Mavuto azachuma, kusalumikizana, komanso njira zotsutsana zotsutsana zitha kukhala zazikulu pakati panu ndi okondedwa m'moyo wanu.

Zachidziwikire, zokumana nazo zanu zimatha kusiyanasiyana kutengera momwe mukukhalira. Komabe, pali mitu ingapo yodziwika bwino yomwe ankhondo osabereka amalankhula yomwe imapangitsa msewu wosungulumwa kumva kuti ndi wosabereka.

Kusabereka komanso maubale okondana

Palibe chomwe chimapha chisangalalo chopanga chikondi kuposa momwe amagwirira ntchito pamwezi mwezi uliwonse. Kenako, kukhumudwitsidwa kopweteketsa mtima ndikudziwa kuti muyenera kuyambiranso m'masabata ochepa chabe kumawonjezera kupsinjika.

Ndizosadabwitsa kuti wina kuyambira 2004 adapeza kuti amuna omwe ali ndi mabanja osabereka samakhutira m'chipinda chogona. Izi zikuchitika chifukwa chapanikizika kwamaganizidwe mwezi uliwonse. Kafukufuku yemweyo adapezanso kuti azimayi nthawi zambiri amaonetsa kusakhutira ndi maukwati awo. M'mabanja ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, ngakhale kugonana si njira yolerera, kupsinjika kwa njira yothandizira uchembere (ART) yokha kumatha kuyambitsa mavuto pachibwenzi.

Komanso, malingaliro ambiri olakwika amatayidwa kwa anzawo. Mavuto ena m'miyoyo yathu atha kugawidwa pakati pa miseche ya abwenzi apamtima, macheza ozizira am'madzi, komanso magawo apabanja. Koma maanja ambiri amasankha kubisa zovuta zawo zobereka. Zotsatira zake ndizopanikiza kwambiri pamunthu m'modzi kuti amuthandize.

M'mabanja ambiri, anthu amapirira kukhumudwitsidwa komanso kukhumudwa m'njira zosiyanasiyana. Mutha kukhumudwa mnzanu atakunenani kuti "mwachita mopambanitsa" kapena "mukuwononga."

Pakadali pano mungamve ngati mnzanu "sasamala zokwanira." Kapenanso, mutha kukhala ndi mnzanu yemwe angayankhe kukhumudwa kwanu poyesa "kukonza" zosatheka. Mwina zonse zomwe mukufuna ndikuti akhale nanu mwachisoni ndikumvetsetsa.

Kuimba mlandu ndi mkwiyo zimakhudza mosavuta maanja omwe akudwala chithandizo chamankhwala. Ngati ndinu mayi yemwe akulandira chithandizo chamankhwala chosabereka chifukwa cha kusabereka kwa amuna, mungamve kukwiya mukabayidwa jakisoni, kukoka magazi, kapena kuyeza mimba. Kapenanso, ngati chithandizo chamankhwala ndichotsatira cha matenda anu, mungamve kukhala akuwimbidwa mlandu wa "kukanika" kwa thupi lanu.

M'mabanja ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, funso loti ndani ali ndi vuto la chithandizo chamankhwala, kapena ndani wapatsidwa mphotho yaubereki wobadwira, itha kukhala yoyambitsa mavuto.

Ndiye, pali mavuto azachuma. Mankhwala monga vitro fertilization (IVF) nthawi zambiri amawononga $ 15,000 kapena kupitilira apo poyambira ndi mankhwala, malinga ndi Planned Parenthood. Ndipo kuzungulira kulikonse kwa ma ART kumangopereka mwayi woti "azibadwa" amayi azaka zosakwana 35. Kubadwa "kwabwinobwino" ndikubadwa kwa nthawi yayitali komwe kumapangitsa kuti mwana akhazikike mthupi limodzi.

Kuchuluka kwa magwiridwe antchito kumatha kusiyanasiyana kutengera zaka za munthu woyembekezera, matenda osabereka, labu yogwiritsidwa ntchito, komanso chipatala. Maanja nthawi zambiri amayenera kukonzanso nyumba zawo, kutenga ngongole, ndi kudzitambasula kwambiri kuti athe kulipilira.

Ndipo, komabe, palibe lonjezo kuti mudzamuwona mwana pamapeto pake. Ngati mankhwala sakugwira ntchito, kutayika kumatha kukhala kofunika kwambiri. Kafukufuku wina yemwe adachitika mu 2014 azimayi pafupifupi 48,000 akuwonetsa kuti maanja omwe sanachite bwino kuchipatala ali pachiwopsezo chothetsa chibwenzi chawo katatu.

Kusabereka komanso kucheza nawo

Ngati muli m'zaka zanu zoyambirira zobereka, mwina mumazunguliridwa ndi ena munthawi yofananayo. Izi zikutanthauza kuti Facebook imadyetsa yodzala ndi ma bampu a ana ndi mabuluni abuluu ndi pinki. Mukamalimbana ndi kusabereka, zimamveka ngati munthu aliyense amene mumamuwona m'sitolo kapena paki ya agalu akukankhira woyendetsa kapena kugwedeza bampu. Chinyengo chimenechi chimakhala chenicheni pomwe anzanu apamtima ayamba kugawana nkhani zawo zapakati.

Ngakhale mungafune kusambitsa BFF yanu ndi mphatso ngati zokongola za onesies ndikulandila ulemu ngati "godparent" kwa mwana wawo, mwina simungakhale womasuka kuwawona. Mwina simungafune kuyankhula nawo kuti muchotse zokhumudwitsa zanu. Ngati akudziwa mavuto omwe banja lanu limakumana nawo, anzanu angayesetse kupewa kukupweteketsani podzipatula.

Pakadali pano, ngati mutha kukhala ndi mphamvu zoyika kumwetulira pankhope panu mukanena kuti "Ndine wokondwa kwambiri chifukwa cha inu," zomwe mungachite zitha kukhala zovuta kapena zabodza. N'zosadabwitsa kuti panthawi yomwe mumafuna kwambiri anzanu, zikusonyeza kuti kudzipatula kumakhala kofala.

Poyerekeza ndi anzanu opanda mwana, muli munthawi yovuta kwambiri, yovuta kwambiri pamoyo. Mwinanso mungafune kuwateteza kuti asadziwe zovuta zomwe zingabwere poyambitsa banja.

Pomwe abwenzi anu atha kusinthanabe pa Tinder ndikugula ntchito yamabotolo, mukugulitsa kondomu yanu kuti mukalandire mankhwala obereketsa, ndipo mukudya mokwanira ndi mwezi wanu. Komabe anthu ambiri omwe sanayesepo kutenga pakati amaganiza kuti kutenga pakati kapena kutenga wina mimba ndikosavuta monga kondomu yosweka kapena mapiritsi omwe anaphonya. Ndipo mwina, kwa iwo!

Kwa okwatirana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, kukhala ndi mwana mwachilengedwe kumakhala kovuta kwambiri. Pakhoza kukhala mazira opatsirana kapena umuna, komanso dziko lovuta loti munthu wina azimupatsa mwayi wofufuza. Mutha kudzipeza kuti simukudziwa zomwe mungakambirane ndi anzanu chifukwa dziko lanu lonse lapansi ladzaza ndi malingaliro omwe sanaganizepopo kale.

Osabereka komanso makolo ako

Ngakhale kwa maanja omwe sakulimbana ndi kusabereka, funso loti "Ndipeza liti mdzukulu?" ndizokwiyitsa AF. Koma pomwe zonse zomwe mukufuna ndikuti mutha kupatsa makolo anu chithunzi chojambulidwa cha ultrasound ngati mphatso yodabwitsa, funso losalakwa limayamba kubaya.

Mabanja ambiri amavutika miyezi ingapo osabereka komanso chithandizo cha IVF popanda kuuza wina aliyense m'miyoyo yawo. Ena sangakonde kudetsa nkhawa makolo awo, pomwe ena safuna kuwakhumudwitsa asanakwane pamene mimba siyikukhala.

Kuti mupewe kukambirana momangika - mwina ndi zolinga zabwino- mungamve ngati mukufunika kusiya banja lanu. Mungafune kupewa kupezeka pamabanja pomwe maso osanthula zovala zanu ndikusankha zakumwa, ndipo nthabwala zopangira ana zitha kuwuluka.

Kwa anthu omwe ali ndi makolo achikhalidwe, kapena amuna kapena akazi okhaokha omwe mabanja awo akuvutika ndi kudziwika, ma ART ngati IVF amatha kuwonedwa ngati olakwika. Izi zimawonjezera kupsinjika kwina ngati mukuvutika mwakachetechete.

Kusabereka komanso ana okulirapo

Ngati mukukumana ndi kusabereka kwachiwiri (kuvutika kutenga pakati mukakhala ndi mwana), kapena kulandira chithandizo chamankhwala cha mwana wachiwiri kapena atatu, pali kukakamizidwa kowonjezera kwa chisamaliro cha ana pamwamba pa choperewera chosabereka tsiku ndi tsiku. Pakati pa maphunziro a potty, kugona tulo, ndi zochita zosayima za mwana wakhanda, ndizovuta kupeza nthawi yowonjezerapo "kugonana" munthawi yanu yodzaza kale (komanso yotopetsa).

Kupezeka kwa ana okulirapo ndizovuta ngati mukukumana ndi kusabereka. Kuyesera kutenga pakati kungatanthauze kudumpha pa zomwe mwana wanu amachita m'mawa mukamapita koyambirira kapena kukoka magazi. Zimatanthauzanso kuti mutha kukhala otopa kwambiri kuti mupatse mwana wanu nthawi ndi chisamaliro chomwe amalakalaka. Mavuto azachuma atha kutanthauza kuti tchuthi chabanja chochepa kapena zochitika zochepa kuti ana anu azikhala achimwemwe komanso otenga nawo mbali.

Nthawi zambiri, ana athu amakhala achichepere kwambiri kuti amvetsetse kuti pali mwana wina panjira. Ndizovuta kuti amvetsetse chifukwa chomwe makolo awo akumenyera komanso kutopa kwambiri kuti ayimbe "Baby Shark" kanthawi ka 10 tsiku lomwelo.

Kudziimba mlandu kwa makolo kumakhala kochuluka patsiku labwino, koma poyang'anizana ndi chisankho choti mupatse mwana wanu m'bale wanu pomupatsa chisamaliro pakadali pano, zimamveka ngati mukutopa.

Momwe mungasungire ubale wanu mukukumana ndi kusabereka

Mukamalandira chithandizo cha chonde, gulu lanu limatha kumverera kuti ndi locheperako komanso laling'ono. Zitha kumveka ngati ndi inu nokha, mnzanu, komanso dokotala wanu akuyenda misewu yosatsimikizika kutsogolo. Ngati maubale m'moyo wanu asokonekera panthawi yomwe mumawasowa kwambiri, nayi malangizo othandiza kuti akhale olimba.

Sankhani omwe mungamukhulupirire ndikugawana zomwe mwakumana nazo

Mulingo wachitonthozo wa aliyense ndiwosiyana pogawana nawo ulendo wawo wosabereka. Ngati mukuwona kuti chete kukupangitsa kuti maubale anu asalumikizane, lingalirani zosankha munthu m'modzi kapena awiri omwe mungawaululire.

Atha kukhala munthu yemwe mumamudziwa kuti adavutikanso ndi kusabereka, wina yemwe amapereka upangiri wabwino, kapena wina yemwe mumamudziwa sakhala woweruza komanso womvera wabwino. Yesani kumasulira munthu m'modzi kuti muwone momwe akumvera. Kapenanso, ngati chinsinsi ndichinthu chomwe mumachiyamikira ndipo chimakupatsani nkhawa kuti mugawane nkhani zanu, kulowa nawo gulu losavomerezeka kungathandize.

Kulumikiza malumikizidwe atsopano

Ngakhale kusabereka ndichinthu chosungulumwa, zowona simuli nokha. Pafupifupi 1 mwa mabanja 8 ali ndi vuto lakusabereka, ndipo chithandizo cha kubereka kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha chikukula. Izi zikutanthauza kuti anthu ambiri omwe mukudziwa nawonso akuvutika mwakachetechete.

Kaya mumalumikizana ndi ena pa intaneti, kuchipatala chanu, kapena kudzera m'magulu ena othandizira osabereka, kudzera mu njirayi mutha kulimbikitsa mabwenzi atsopano ndi kulumikizana komwe kumakhalapo.

Funsani thandizo lomwe mukufuna

Kaya mwasankha kugawana zomwe mwakumana nazo, kapena mukuzisunga pakati pa inu ndi mnzanu, lolani makina anu othandizira adziwe mtundu wa kulumikizana komwe mukufuna. Sadzadziwa ngati mumakonda kulowa pafupipafupi kapena ngati akudikireni kuti mufikire kwa iwo. Adziwitseni zomwe zimakusangalatsani.

Chimodzimodzinso mnzanu, ngati mukufuna kuti iwo akhale nanu momvetsa chisoni m'malo moyesera "kuthetsa" vutolo, auzeni zimenezo. Kapenanso ngati mukufuna wina woti azingolankhula nanu pang'ono ndikukuwonetsani zomwe mungachite, funsani zomwe mukufuna. Njira yolankhulirana ya aliyense ndiyosiyana. Sitimachitanso chimodzimodzi chisoni ndi chisoni.

Dziwani zomwe zimayambitsa

Ngati kupita kukasamba kwa ana kapena phwando la kubadwa kwa ana ndikumakupweteketsani, ndibwino kuti muchepetse.

Sizitanthauza kuti muyenera kuchoka kwathunthu kuubwenzi (pokhapokha ngati mukufuna, inde). Sankhani zomwe zingakuthandizeni kuti mukhale ndi thanzi labwino. Pezani njira zina zolumikizirana ndi anthu omwe saganizira kwambiri za khanda kapena mimba.

Pangani malo okondana komanso osangalatsa

Ngakhale kugonana kumatha kubweretsa chiyembekezo, nkhawa komanso kukhumudwa, mutha kukhala pachibwenzi popanda kukakamizidwa kugonana.

Yesetsani kukonzekera tsiku lokhala ndi sabata sabata iliyonse kapena kungolumikizana Lachiwiri usiku. Mwinamwake mungachite nawo masewera pamodzi, kupita kukawona masewero oseketsa, kapena kuphika chitumbuwa. Ngakhale kusabereka kumatha kumva ngati mtambo wakuda, sikuyenera kuba kuwala kwa dzuwa mphindi iliyonse tsiku lililonse.

Pezani chithandizo

Makliniki ambiri obereketsa amatumiza anthu ku maanja kapena chithandizo chamankhwala kuti athane ndi zovuta zakubala. Ngati mukuvutika, kapena inu ndi mnzanu mukuyenera kukhala patsamba limodzi, palibe manyazi kupeza thandizo.

Pali mwambi wina waku Turkey womwe umati, "Palibe msewu wokhala ndi anthu abwino." Ngakhale kusabereka kungasinthe maubwenzi ofunikira pamoyo wanu, pali mwayi wopangitsa kusintha kumeneku kugwira ntchito chifukwa inu. Yesetsani kusinthira zomwe zidachitikazo kukhala zomwe zakukula kwanu. Pezani mudzi womwe umapereka zomwe mukufuna. Simuli nokha.

Abbey Sharp ndi katswiri wazakudya, TV ndi wailesi, blogger wazakudya, komanso woyambitsa wa Abbey's Kitchen Inc. Iye ndi mlembi wa Mindful Glow Cookbook, buku lophika losadya lomwe lakonzedwa kuti lithandizire kulimbikitsa azimayi kuti ayambitsenso ubale wawo ndi chakudya. Posachedwa adakhazikitsa gulu la makolo la Facebook lotchedwa Millennial Mom's Guide to Mindful Meal Planning.