Kugonana Atakwatirana Ndizo Zomwe Mumapanga - Ndipo Mutha Kupanga Zabwino

Zamkati

• Okwatirana - kugonana koyipa
• Anthu apabanja atha kukhala ndi zogonana zabwino… ndi zina zambiri
• Zachidziwikire, pali zifukwa zomwe kuchuluka kwa kugonana kumatha
• Kugonana, muyenera kukhala patsogolo
• Pali kuchepa kwachilengedwe ndikuyenda mu libido pakapita nthawi
• Mumalola moyo wanu wogonana kuti ugwere panjira
• Ngati simungathe kukhala ndi malingaliro, ganizirani zomwe zikuchitika kunja kwa chipinda chogona
• Njira yabwino yogonana? Lankhulani
• Nthawi zina mumayenera kudziyika nokha
• Mutha kukhala ndi chidwi tsiku lonse
• Kuphunzirana chilankhulo chachikondi komanso chilankhulo chofunitsitsa kumatha kuthandizira
• Siyani kuyerekezera moyo wanu wogonana ndi wa anthu ena
• Yesani china chosiyana kuti muzunkhira zinthu
• Pangani Inde, Ayi, Mwinanso lembani
• Pitani ku phwando / kalabu kapena malo osambira
• Gulani chidole chogonana (kapena chidolespamodzi
• Yatsani zolaula
• Pitani kutchuthi!
• Mfundo yofunika

Timaphatikizapo zinthu zomwe timaganiza kuti ndizothandiza kwa owerenga athu. Ngati mutagula maulalo omwe ali patsamba lino, titha kupeza ndalama zochepa. Nayi njira yathu.

Okwatirana - kugonana koyipa

Choyamba chimabwera chikondi, kenako banja, kenako… kugonana kosayenera?

Umu si momwe nyimboyi imayendera, koma ndizomwe mungakhulupirire zogonana zokhudzana ndi kugonana musanakwatirane.

Nkhani yabwino: Ndi chimodzimodzi. Hoopla! Mkangano! Chinyengo!

"Zikwi, mazana, zikwizikwi za okwatirana ali ndi moyo wosangalala, wathanzi, komanso wokhutira," atero a Jess O'Reilly, PhD, wolandila @SexWithDrJess Podcast. Phew.

Anthu apabanja atha kukhala ndi zogonana zabwino… ndi zina zambiri

Nyamula nsagwada yako pansi! Ndizomveka ngati mungaganizire.

"Mukamudziwa komanso kukhulupirira mnzanu, mumakhala omasuka kufotokoza zakukhosi kwanu, zomwe mumakonda, komanso zomwe mumaganizira," akutero O'Reilly. "Izi zitha kubweretsa kugonana kosangalatsa komanso kosangalatsa."

Simukukhulupirira? "Zomwe zili kunja uko zikuwonetsa kuti anthu okwatirana amagonana pafupipafupi kuposa anthu osakwatira," akuwonjezera.

Osapeputsa mwayi wokhala ndi bwenzi mwina / nthawi zina wofunitsitsa / wokondana naye yemwe amakhala pafupi nanu!

Zachidziwikire, pali zifukwa zomwe kuchuluka kwa kugonana kumatha

Gawo loyamba kukhala ndi zambiri? Kumvetsetsa chifukwa chomwe mungakhalire ochepa!

Kugonana, muyenera kukhala patsogolo

Ngati kugonana ndikofunikira kwa inu ndipo ndinu otanganidwa, mukuganiza chiyani? "Muyenera kuziika patsogolo," akutero O'Reilly. "Izi zitha kukhala zovuta pambuyo pokhala ndi ana, koma ndizotheka ngati mungayesetse kuchita izi."

Malangizo ake oti aziika patsogolo? Ikani mu ndandanda yanu monga momwe mungachitire china chilichonse choyambirira - kaya ndi msonkhano wamabizinesi, kalabu yamabuku, kapena kutola ana kuchita masewera a mpira.

Choyimira kalendala sikuyenera kuwerenga "Bang My Boo" (ngakhale itha kutero, ngati ndichinthu chanu). Ndipo kumenyetsa sikuyenera kukhala mfundo!

Ingopatula nthawi yolumikizana ndikuwona mtundu wanji wazokhudza zomwe zikuchitika, atero O'Reilly.

Pali kuchepa kwachilengedwe ndikuyenda mu libido pakapita nthawi

Izi ndizowona kwa amuna ndi akazi onse komanso zogonana.

"Libido imakhudzidwa ndi zinthu monga kubala mwana, matenda, kupweteka kwanthawi yayitali, mankhwala, kupsinjika, komanso kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo," atero a Holly Richmond, PhD, wothandizira zachiwerewere ovomerezeka komanso wama psychology ku KY.

Kuviika mu chikhumbo chogonana sichisonyezo chaponseponse kuti china chake sichili bwino pachibwenzi.

Mumalola moyo wanu wogonana kuti ugwere panjira

Kodi mumadziwa kuti libido imakhudzidwa ndi kusowa kwa kugonana, nawonso?

Zitha kumveka ngati zosagwirizana, koma Richmond akuti, "mukamachita zogonana, mumazifuna kwambiri. Mukakhala nazo zochepa, m'pamenenso mumazifuna zochepa. ”

WYY amatsikira kumahomoni.

"Mukamagonana, pamakhala kutulutsa ma endorphin ndi oxytocin omwe amatipangitsa kukhala ogonana," akutero. "Kugonana kwambiri kumayambitsanso njira yophunzitsira kuyembekezera zosangalatsa."

Kugonana kumatha kukhala kwa anthu awiri kapena kuchita kwa munthu m'modzi, akutero.

Kuphatikiza pakuthandizani kuti mukhale ndi malingaliro ogonana pakati pawo, kuseweretsa maliseche kumatha kukulitsa chidaliro chanu.

Ikhozanso kukuthandizani kudziwa momwe mumakhudzidwira kuti muthe kulangiza wokondedwa wanu momwe angakukhudzeni mukamagonana.

Kuphatikiza apo, kutulutsa kunja kungathandizenso kuchepetsa nkhawa zanu, zomwe zingakuthandizeni kuti mukhale osangalala. #Kupambana.

Ngati simungathe kukhala ndi malingaliro, ganizirani zomwe zikuchitika kunja kwa chipinda chogona

Chifukwa chake ndi chosavuta: Zomwe mumachita kuchipinda zingakhudze zomwe zikuchitika (kapena ayi) m'chipinda chogona.

"Ngati mukusunga chakukhosi chifukwa chonyinyirika mumachita gawo losiyanasiyana la ntchito zapakhomo, simupita kukawona kukwiya uku pakhomo lachipinda," akufotokoza motero O'Reilly.

"Monga ngati wakwiya chifukwa mnzako wanena china chake kuti akusokoneze pamaso pa ana, mkwiyowo sudzatha nthawi yomweyo ukadzagona."

Maganizo olakwikawa mwina sangatanthauzire chikondi kapena chikhumbo chofunikira kuti chikhalepo.

Yankho lake ndi mbali ziwiri.

Choyamba, yemwe akuyenda m'madzi osafunikira ayenera kuyankha mnzake zomwe akumva komanso chifukwa chake.

Kenako, mnzakeyo amayenera kuyankha chimodzimodzi.

Ngati inu ndi mnzanu mukuvutika kukhala ndi zokambirana zamtunduwu, mungaganize zothandizirana ndi ubale.

Njira yabwino yogonana? Lankhulani

Kaya mukuganiza kuti inu ndi mnzanu muli pa tsamba limodzi lonena za mtundu wa kugonana womwe mukufuna kukhala nawo komanso kangati mukufuna kukhala nawo - kapena inu mukudziwa muli pamasamba osiyanasiyana - muyenera kuyankhula!

"Kukambirana pazomwe ziyembekezo za mnzanu aliyense zokhudzana ndi kugonana ndikofunikira," akutero Richmond.

"Muyenera kukambirana kangati patsiku, sabata, kapena mwezi womwe mmodzi wa inu akufuna kugonana," akutero.

Ngati pali kusiyana pakati pa mayendedwe azakugonana - ndipo maanja ambiri nthawi ina muubwenzi - muyenera:

1. Pitirizani kulankhula za kugonana.
2. Ikani njira zina zakugonana ndikukondana.
3. Onani mitundu ina yaubwenzi.
4. Ganizirani kuwona wothandizira kugonana.

Kupitilira kangati, "muyenera kudziwa mtundu wa kugonana komanso malingaliro omwe mukufuna kukhala nawo mukakhala nawo," akutero Richmond.

Mwachitsanzo, kodi zonsezo ndizosangalatsa komanso chotupa kapena zimangokhudza kulumikizana?

Kumvetsetsa komwe inu nonse mukuyimirira kungakuthandizeni kupita kumalo omvera ena chisoni m'malo modzitchinjiriza, zomwe zimakuthandizani kuti mupeze mayankho momwe nonse mumadzimva kuti muli ndi mphamvu komanso kukwaniritsidwa, akutero.

Nthawi zina mumayenera kudziyika nokha

Zosangalatsa: Pali mitundu iwiri yosiyanasiyana yodzutsa.

Pali mtundu womwe umakumenyani mwadzidzidzi (o-bamm-o mwadzidzidzi (wotchedwa chikhumbo chodzidzimutsa), ndi mtundu womwe umatuluka kamodzi inu ndi mnzanu mutayamba kupsompsonana kapena kukhudza (kotchedwa chidwi chomvera).

Ngakhale chikhumbo chokha chokha chikhoza kukhala cholondola pomwe inu ndi Nambala Wanu munayamba chibwenzi, "kwa anthu ambiri okwatirana, komanso anthu omwe akhala pachibwenzi kwa nthawi yayitali, muyenera kuchita zinthu kuti muthe kudzapeza m'machitidwe, "akutero O'Reilly.

"Ngati mumayembekezera kuti mufune kugonana, mutha kudikira nthawi yayitali," akutero.

Momwemo momwe inu (ndi mnzanu) mumadalira kukhala ndi chidwi chomvera chidzafika pazomwe zimakupangitsani inu nonse.

Zitha kuwoneka ngati zikuyandikira pafupi pabedi, kufunsa kapena kupukuta phazi, nkhope yoyamwa, kukumbatirana, kapena kusamba limodzi.

Mutha kukhala ndi chidwi tsiku lonse

Njira ina yolowera mumtima? Khalani tsiku lonse kupeza m'mikhalidwe. Monga O'Reilly ananenera, "Kulakalaka kumayamba nthawi yayitali zovala zisanatuluke."

Kodi izi zikutanthauza chiyani pakuchita, ndendende?

Kutumizirana mameseji, kutumizirana foni pafoni masana, kapena zolemba za saucy zimachoka komwe mnzanuyo angazipeze.

Kuloleza mnzanu kuti akutolereni zovala za tsikulo, kusamba limodzi (koma osakhudza!) M'mawa, kapena kungomuwuza mnzanuyo musanachoke mnyumbamo, "Sindingathe kudikira kuti ndikumveni mukudandaula usikuuno."

Muthanso kugwiritsa ntchito chatekinoloje yogonana kuti mupindule nayo. Mwachitsanzo, We Vibe Moxie, ndi vibrator yamkati yomwe imatha kuyang'aniridwa ndi pulogalamu pafoni ya mnzanu.

Valani, uzani mnzanu, kenako pitani kukagula. Zosangalatsa!

Kuphunzirana chilankhulo chachikondi komanso chilankhulo chofunitsitsa kumatha kuthandizira

“Izi zikhoza kukhala zinthu ziwiri zosiyana kwambiri - chifukwa chake zimafunikira kudziwa zilankhulo zanu, ndiyeno kukambirana momasuka, moona mtima za izo, ”akutero a Richmond.

Lingaliro la zilankhulo zachikondi, lopangidwa ndi Dr. Gary Chapman, akuti momwe tonsefe timaperekera kapena kulandira chikondi titha kugawidwa m'magulu asanu:

• mphatso
• nthawi yabwino
• zochita
• mawu otsimikiza
• kukhudza thupi

Inu ndi mnzanuyo mutha kuphunzira zilankhulo zachikondi potenga mafunso apa mphindi 5 pa intaneti.

Izi zikuphunzitsani momwe mungapangire wokondedwa wanu kumva kuti amakondedwa ndi kuyamikiridwa, akutero Richmond. Ngati mnzanu akumva kuti amakondedwa komanso kuyamikiridwa, atenga mwayi wopusitsika.

Mukufunanso kudziwa "chilankhulo chakukhumba" cha mnzanu, chomwe Richmond imafotokoza kuti, "momwe mnzanuyo angawonetsere kuti akufuna."

Kodi amakonda kunyozedwa? Atumizireni zolaula asanafike usiku.

Kodi kukondana kumawathandiza? Konzani tsiku lodzaza ndi makandulo, maluwa, kusamba, ndi maola angapo opangidwira inu (opanda udindo kwa wina aliyense).

Kodi amakonda kudabwa? Siyani kabudula wachikwama m'chikwama chawo cholemba.

Kodi amakonda kuyamikiridwa? Ayamikireni!

Siyani kuyerekezera moyo wanu wogonana ndi wa anthu ena

Mukudziwa zomwe akunena: Kufananitsa ndi wakuba wachimwemwe. Izi zimagwiranso ntchito m'chipinda chogona!

"Iwe ndi mnzako muyenera kudziwa kuti ndi kugonana kotani komanso mtundu wanji womwe mukufuna kukhala nawo kutengera zomwe zikukuyenderani bwino, osati kutengera zomwe mukuganiza kuti muyenera kuchita," akutero a Richmond.

Yesani china chosiyana kuti muzunkhira zinthu

"Pakhoza kukhala kutha kwachilengedwe kwa chidwi pa kugonana pakapita nthawi pamene zachilendo ndi chisangalalo zimatha," akutero O'Reilly.

Osadandaula, ndizotheka kubweretsa kutentha.

Pangani Inde, Ayi, Mwinanso lembani

Ngati mwakhala ndi mnzanu kwa nthawi yayitali, mutha kuganiza kuti mukudziwa zonse zomwe amakonda pazakugonana. Koma mungadabwe ndi chinthu chimodzi kapena ziwiri zomwe akufuna kuyesa!

Ndipo ndichifukwa chake inu ndi mnzanu muyenera kulemba Inde, Ayi, Mwina mndandanda (mwachitsanzo, iyi kapena iyi).

Izi zitha kuwoneka ngati inu nonse mukulemba mndandanda wawo, kenako ndikubwera kudzakambirana zomwe nonse mungakonde kuyesera limodzi.

Kapenanso, izi zitha kutanthauza kuti mupange tsiku lokhala ndi tsiku podzaza limodzi.

Pitani ku phwando / kalabu kapena malo osambira

"Mabanja amakhala ochuluka kwambiri opita ku maphwando azakugonana," akutero a Melissa Vitale, oyang'anira olumikizana ndi NSFW, kalabu yomwe imachita zochitika zogonana komanso zokambirana.

"Kufufuza zachiwerewere ndikukhala pagulu laphwando kungathandize awiriwa kukulitsa kukondana, kudalirana, komanso kukondana - ngakhale atabweretsanso munthu wachiwiri, wachitatu, kapena wachinayi, kapena angogonana okha pamalo amenewo," akutero.

Mwinamwake mudzawona chinachake chikuchitika chomwe inu nonse mutsegulidwa ndi chidwi ndikuyesera mukafika kunyumba, akuwonjezera.

Gulani chidole chogonana (kapena chidolespamodzi

Mwachidziwikire, mudzafuna kuchita izi m'sitolo, momwe mumakhala aphunzitsi azakugonana pansi omwe angathe kuyankha ma Q aliwonse omwe amabwera.

Mutha kuyesa kugawanika kwa mphindi 15, kenako nkubwereranso limodzi kuti muone zosangalatsa zomwe aliyense wawonjezera m'galimoto.

Kapenanso, mutha kulumikizana m'sitolo limodzi, mosinthana ndikuwonjezera zogonana kugaleta.

Richmond amalimbikitsa kuti muchoke ndi chidole chomwe mukufuna kugwiritsa ntchito limodzi, komanso choseweretsa chomwe aliyense angathe kuyesa nthawi yake.

“Ndimalimbikitsa makasitomala anga kupeza vibrator yomwe imagwira ntchito pawokha. Kenaka kuti mubweretse kuchipinda chogona ndi wokondedwa wawo - nthawi zambiri kumakhala kosangalatsa kwa mnzake. ”

Yatsani zolaula

Ngakhale zomwe mudamvapo, zolaula zitha kukhala zopindulitsa pachibwenzi.

"Ndi njira imodzi yomwe maanja angalowerere limodzi kudziko lamaloto," akutero a Richmond. "Pofunsana wina ndi mnzake zomwe akufuna kuwonera, mumakhala ndi chidziwitso pazomwe angasinthe - mwina zomwe amachita manyazi kufunsa."

"Ndi zolaula, uyenera kukumbukira kuti izi ndi zosangalatsa, osati maphunziro," akutero.

"M'malo moonera zolaula kuti tiyembekezere momwe ife kapena anzathu tiyenera kuwonekera kapena momwe tiyenera kuchitira, ndikupanga zongopeka komanso malo osangalatsa kuti timire mu chisangalalo."

Ngati simukudziwa komwe mungayambire, onani masamba azithunzi zachikazi monga CrashPadSeries, Bellesa, ndi Lust Cinema.

Pitani kutchuthi!

Mukudziwa zomwe akunena: Kugonana kutchuthi ndiko kugonana kwabwino kwambiri.

Ngakhale akatswiri akuchenjeza za kupsinjika kwambiri kwa inu ndi boo anu kuti muziyenda ngati akalulu nthawi zonse mukachoka, Richmond akuti, "kugonana patchuthi ndi njira yokhazikitsira moyo wogonana kapena kuupatsanso mphamvu."

Si mapepala a hotelo kapena ntchito zam'chipinda zomwe zimapangitsa kuti kugona tchuthi kukhala kwabwino kwambiri, komabe.

"Ndiko kuti muli pamalo omwe amakulolani kusiya ntchito zanu za tsiku ndi tsiku, miniti ndi miniti kumbuyo," akutero Richmond. "[Izi] zimakupatsani mwayi woti inu ndi mnzanuyo mukhale ndi chilakolako chofuna kuchita zachiwerewere, ndikukhala zongoyerekeza komanso zosangalatsa."

Kukhala omveka bwino: Izi zikutanthauza ayi kuwona Slack, imelo, kapena zidziwitso zina, ngati zingatheke.

Zinthu zina zosangalatsa zosangalatsa kuyenda kuti azinyamula:

• Le Wand Point Vibrator, yomwe ili ndi loko
• Tether yopanda malire, yomwe ndi kink yovomerezeka ndi TSA ndi zida za BDSM
• 2 Ounce Sliquid Sassy, ​​yomwe mungabweretse nazo

Mfundo yofunika

Musalole kuti chinthu chosasangalatsa kuti kuyika mphete pa icho chiwononge moyo wanu wogonana - inu ndi mnzanu mumayenera kusankha momwe kugonana kwaukwati kumawonekera kwa inu.

Pali zifukwa zambiri - kukondana, kudalirana, chikondi, ndi kuzolowera, kungotchulapo zochepa! - kuti okwatirana kungakhale kosangalatsa kuposa kugonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, komanso njira zambiri zolimbikitsira moyo wanu wogonana ukayamba kumva kuti ndinu wosowa.

A Gabrielle Kassel ndi mlembi wa ku New York okhudzana ndi kugonana komanso thanzi komanso CrossFit Level 1 Trainer. Amakhala munthu wam'mawa, adayesa opitilira 200, ndikudya, kuledzera, ndikupaka makala - zonsezi mdzina la utolankhani. Munthawi yake yaulere, amapezeka kuti amawerenga mabuku azodzilankhulira ndi ma buku achikondi, kukanikiza benchi, kapena kuvina. Mutsatireni pa Instagram.