Buku la Nice Girl kuti Asakhale Wopondera Panyumba

Zamkati

• Konzani Kaimidwe Anu
• Mayesero Amakhala Angwiro
• Nix Negative Self-Talk
• Nenani Ayi
• Lankhulani
• Khalani Mad
• Dzizungulireni ndi Akazi Amphamvu Ena
• Onaninso za

Kodi ndinu munthu yemwe abwana anu amamuyimbira kuti abwere kumapeto kwa sabata? Kodi ndiwe msungwana wopita kukakhala mlongo wako akufunika phewa kuti alilire? Kodi ndinu abwenzi omwe nthawi zonse mumatha kuphimba nsonga, pokhala woyendetsa amene wasankhidwa, woyang'anira kugula mphatso zamagulu, ndikupepesa nthawi iliyonse momwe akumvera wina akumva kuwawa? Kodi ndinu olungama zabwino kwambiri? Monga akazi timaphunzitsidwa kuti nthawi zonse tizikhala ogwirizana, achifundo, osavuta komanso ochezeka. Ngakhale zonsezi ndi mikhalidwe yabwino kukhala nayo, zimatanthauzanso kuti nthawi zambiri timagwiritsidwa ntchito. Koma pali malire pakati pokhala msungwana wabwino ndikukhala pakhomo.

Pscyhotherapist ndi Life Coach Jan Graham, wa Live a Little Coaching, akunena kuti amayi akhoza kuphunzira kukhala odzidalira popanda kudzikonda kapena kutaya mphatso zathu zachilengedwe za diplomacy, kusinthasintha, ndi luso lopeza "kupambana / kupambana" mayankho. "Palibe cholakwika ndi kukhala wabwino!" akuti, "Tiyenera kupeza zochulukirapo, zabwino, zanzeru." Umu ndi momwe mungapezere zomwe mukufuna popanda kutaya yemwe muli:

Konzani Kaimidwe Anu

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Izi sikuti ndikutha kusungitsa buku pamutu panu kapena kuwoneka wochepera mu siketi yanu ya pensulo. Izi ndizofuna kutsimikizira mphamvu zanu kudzera mumayendedwe anu. M'nkhani yake ya TED "Chilankhulo Chanu Thupi Lomwe Mumawonekera," Katswiri wazolankhula zamthupi Amy Cuddy adalongosola kuti kafukufuku apeza kuti azimayi akamatengera "maimidwe amphamvu" omwe timakonda kucheza ndi amuna, azimayi samangodziwika kuti ndiamphamvu kwambiri, koma kuti iwonso ankadziona choncho.

Graham amalangiza azimayi kuti ayang'ane m'maso, agwiritse ntchito mawu olimba mtima, ndikupewa chidwi chofuna kuwoloka mikono ndi miyendo yanu kapena kukukuta thupi lanu kuti mutenge malo ochepa momwe mungathere.

Mayesero Amakhala Angwiro

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Kukhala wodzidalira kumabwera mwachibadwa kwa amayi ena, koma ngati lingaliro lodziimira nokha limakupangitsani kufuna kugona, muyenera kuchita, Graham akutero. "Dzitsutseni pafupipafupi kuti mudziyimire panokha ndikudziyimira panokha, koma kuti muzichita mwanzeru - osati m'njira yomwe ingakulepheretseni." Ngati ntchito ndi yomwe nthawi zambiri mumamva kuti muli nayo, yambani kuyimirira kwa wogwira nawo ntchito ndikukambirana ndi abwana anu. Chifukwa chake, ngati wantchito mnzanu atakufunsani kuti muwone zomwe wachita, mutha kunena kuti, "Jill, ndili wokondwa kwambiri ndi chiwonetserochi Lachisanu ndikukhazikitsa chinthu chathu chatsopano. Kuonetsetsa kuti zikuyenda bwino momwe zingathere, ine ndiyenera kuika mphamvu zanga zonse pamenepo-koma ndingakhale wokondwa kuyang'ana pepala lanu sabata yamawa." Chofunika kwambiri ndi kuganizira zimene mungachite osati zimene simungakwanitse.

Nix Negative Self-Talk

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Inu mwakhala nthawizonse wamanyazi. Simungathe kuchita izi. Palibe amene akufuna kumva malingaliro anu osalankhula. Nthawi zina timakhala adani athu oyipa, makamaka pankhani yamalankhulidwe athu. "Nthawi zambiri, timadziwa mwanzeru kuti tikudziweruza tokha ndi miyezo yapamwamba kuposa wina aliyense, koma timadziuzabe zinthu zowawa. Izi zingatipangitse mantha kutenga mwayi umene ungathe kutipititsa patsogolo," akutero Graham.

Nenani Ayi

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“Azimayi ambiri amaona kuti ngati wina apempha thandizo, yankho lolondola nthawi zonse limakhala inde, mosasamala kanthu za kukondedwa kapena ndani amene akufunsa, ndipo amakhala odzikonda ngati savomereza,” akutero Graham. Njira imodzi yophunzirira kukana ndikukumbukira kuti kunena "inde" ku chinthu chimodzi kumatanthauza kunena "ayi" kuzinthu zina zambiri - monga okondedwa, ziweto kapena nthawi yaulere. Ndipo ngati mukuvutika kunena kuti "ayi" mwachindunji, phunzirani njira zochedwetsa. Graham akuti ndi bwino kudzikhululukira ndi "mwina" ndiyeno mutenge nthawi yochulukirapo kuti muwone ngati mukufunadi kudzipereka nokha. Iye ankakonda? "Zikumveka ngati kuthekera, koma ndikufunika kuti ndiyang'ane kalendala yanga poyamba."

Lankhulani

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Pokambirana ndi ena, mutha kulankhula malingaliro anu pomwe mukusungabe chisomo chanu chachilengedwe ndi zokambirana. "Simuyenera kuchita kulankhula mokalipa kapena mwano," akutero Graham, "Koma ngati mukuchita ndi anyamata omwe amalankhula nanu pafupipafupi, mungafunike kuphunzira momwe mungasokonezere monga momwe amachitira."

Khalani Mad

kulanda / kupeza

Nthawi zambiri timauzidwa kuti mkwiyo ulibe phindu koma nthawi zina mumafunikira moto pang'ono kuti ukukulimbikitseni kuchita zinazake. Graham akuti ngati mukunyalanyazidwa mopanda chilungamo, kunyalanyazidwa, kapena kuchitiridwa mwayi, osangokhalira kukwiya kapena kudandaula kwa mnzanu wachifundo kapena wachibale. "Tengani malingaliro osasangalatsa amenewo, ndipo ngati ali oyenera, atembenukireni kunja osati mkatimo," akutero. "Pangani pulani ya chinthu chimodzi chaching'ono chomwe mungachite kuti mudzipangire nokha." Mwachitsanzo, nthawi ina pamene mnzanu adziitanira chakudya chamadzulo, mumudziwitse kuti muli ndi zolinga zina koma mungakonde kukhazikitsa nthawi ya brunch sabata yamawa.

Dzizungulireni ndi Akazi Amphamvu Ena

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’Palinso miyezo iwiri, momwe azimayi amaweruzidwa mosiyana ndi amuna chifukwa chodzipezera okha, "a Graham akufotokoza."Koma chodabwitsa chokwanira, nthawi zambiri ndi azimayi omwe ndiwoyamba kugwiritsa ntchito dzina loti 'hule' kwa amayi amphamvu!" M'malo mopikisana wina ndi mzake, pezani akazi ena amphamvu, odzidalira oti mugwirizane nawo. Sikuti zidzangokuthandizani kumva kuti ndinu achilengedwe chodziyimira panokha, komanso mudzakhala osasamala ngati ena opanda nzeru amatcha uhulewo.

Onaninso za