Momwe Mungaletsere Kusangalatsa Anthu (Ndipo Mukhalebe Abwino)

Zamkati

• Kuzindikira zizindikilo
• Mumadziderera
• Mufunikira ena kuti akukondeni
• Zimakuvutani kunena "ayi"
• Mumapepesa kapena kuvomereza kulakwitsa pomwe simulakwa
• Mumafulumira kuvomereza, ngakhale simukuvomereza kwenikweni
• Mukulimbana ndi zowona
• Ndinu wopereka
• Mulibe nthawi yaulere
• Mikangano ndi mikangano zimakukhumudwitsani
• Momwe zimakukhudzirani
• Mumakhala wokhumudwa komanso wokwiya
• Anthu amatengerapo mwayi kwa inu
• Maubwenzi anu samakukhutiritsani
• Kupsinjika ndi kutopa
• Abwenzi ndi abwenzi amakhumudwa nanu
• Zimachokera kuti?
• Zovuta zakale
• Nkhani zodzidalira
• Kuopa kukanidwa
• Momwe mungathetsere
• Sonyezani kukoma mtima pamene mukufunira
• Yesetsani kudziika patsogolo
• Phunzirani kukhazikitsa malire
• Dikirani mpaka mutapemphedwa thandizo
• Lankhulani ndi wothandizira
• Mfundo yofunika

Kusangalatsa anthu sikungamveke koipa kwambiri. Kupatula apo, chalakwika ndi chiyani kukhala wabwino kwa anthu ndikuyesera kuwathandiza kapena kuwasangalatsa?

Koma zokondweretsa anthu nthawi zambiri zimangopitirira kukomera mtima. Zimaphatikizapo "kusintha kapena kusintha mawu ndi zizolowezi zake chifukwa cha malingaliro kapena zochita za wina," akufotokoza Erika Myers, wothandizira ku Bend, Oregon.

Mutha kuyesetsa kuchitira anthu zinthu m'moyo wanu, kutengera zomwe mukuganiza kuti akufuna kapena akufuna. Mumapereka nthawi yanu ndi nyonga yanu kuti akondere.

Myers akuti umu ndi momwe kusangalatsa anthu kumatha kuyambitsa mavuto. "Kulakalaka kukondweretsa ena kumatha kukhala kovulaza tokha ndipo, mwina, ku ubale wathu tikalola zofuna za anthu ena kukhala zofunika kwambiri kuposa zosowa zathu," akutero a Myers.

Kuzindikira zizindikilo

Simukudziwa ngati ndinu okondweretsa anthu kapena okoma mtima kwambiri kwa ena? Nazi zina mwa zisonyezo zakusangalatsa anthu.

Mumadziderera

Okondweretsa anthu nthawi zambiri amalimbana ndi kudzidalira ndikudzipezera ulemu chifukwa chovomerezedwa ndi ena.

"Ndine woyenera kukondedwa ndikapereka chilichonse kwa wina" ndichikhulupiriro chimodzi chofala chokhudzana ndi kusangalatsa anthu, a Myers akuti.

Mutha kukhulupirira kuti anthu amangokusamalirani mukakhala othandiza, ndipo amafunikira kuyamikiridwa ndi kuyamikiridwa kuti mumve bwino za inu nokha.

Mufunikira ena kuti akukondeni

Oseketsa anthu nthawi zambiri amakhala nthawi yayitali akudandaula zakukanidwa. Zodandaula izi nthawi zambiri zimabweretsa zochitika zina zomwe zimapangitsa kuti anthu azisangalala nanu kuti asakukanizeni.

Muthanso kukhala ndi chikhumbo chachikulu chofunidwa, mukukhulupirira kuti muli ndi mwayi wabwino wolandila chikondi kuchokera kwa anthu omwe amakufunani.

Zimakuvutani kunena "ayi"

Mutha kuda nkhawa kuti kuuza wina kuti "ayi" kapena kukana pempho lothandizidwa kudzawapangitsa kuganiza kuti simusamala za iwo. Kuvomera kuchita zomwe akufuna kungaoneke ngati njira yabwinoko, ngakhale mulibe nthawi kapena malingaliro othandiza.

Anthu ambiri amavomereza kuchita zinazake pomwe sakufuna, monga kuthandiza wina kusuntha. Koma chitsanzo cha izi chitha kubweretsa mavuto, chifukwa chimawuza anthu zosowa zawo zimabwera patsogolo pa zanu.

Anthu ena atha kuzunza izi, kunyalanyaza malire anu chifukwa akudziwa kuti mudzachita zomwe akufuna.

Mumapepesa kapena kuvomereza kulakwitsa pomwe simulakwa

Kodi ndinu okonzeka nthawi zonse ndi "pepani!" china chake chikalakwika?

Kusangalatsa anthu kumaphatikizapo kukhala wokonzeka kutenga mlandu, ngakhale zitakhala kuti sizikukukhudzani.

Nenani kuti abwana anu adakufunsani kuti mutenge pizza nkhomaliro, koma malo odyerawo adasokoneza dongosolo. Simunapeze pizza ziwiri zopanda gluten zomwe mudalamula, kotero atatu mwa omwe mumagwira nawo ntchito sanathe kudya nkhomaliro.

Risitiyo imanena momveka bwino kuti "alibe gluten," motero zikuwonekeratu kuti cholakwikacho chidachitika pamalo odyera. Komabe, mumapepesa mobwerezabwereza, mukumva kuwawa, ndikukhulupirira kuti omwe mumagwira nawo ntchito adzakudani ndipo sadzakukhulupiraninso kuti mudzayitanenso chakudya chamasana.

Mumafulumira kuvomereza, ngakhale simukuvomereza kwenikweni

Kuvomerezana nthawi zambiri kumawoneka ngati njira yotsimikizika yopezera kuvomerezedwa.

Nenani kuti omwe mumagwira nawo ntchito adapereka malingaliro awo pulojekiti yomwe ikubwera pamsonkhano wamagulu. “Ndi lingaliro labwino bwanji!” Munganene kwa mnzanu yemwe mumagwira naye ntchito nkumuuza wina "malingaliro abwino!" Koma malingaliro awo atha kukhala osiyana kotheratu - ndipo mwina simungagwirizane nawo mwina.

Ngati mungayende limodzi ndi zomwe simukugwirizana nazo kuti aliyense azisangalala, ndiye kuti mukukhala nokha (ndi ena) kukhumudwa kwamtsogolo. Ngati mapulani onsewa ali ndi zolakwika zowoneka bwino, mukumupweteketsa aliyense posalankhula.

Mukulimbana ndi zowona

Anthu okondweretsa nthawi zambiri amakhala ndi nthawi yovuta kuzindikira momwe akumvera.

Kupitiliza kukankhira zosowa zanu kumbali kumapangitsa kukhala kovuta kuvomereza. Pambuyo pake, mwina simungakhale otsimikiza za zomwe mukufuna kapena momwe mungakhalire owona kwa inu nokha.

Mwinanso simungathe kufotokoza momwe mukumvera ali akudziwa, ngakhale mutakhala kuti mukufuna kudzilankhulira nokha.

Mwachitsanzo, mungapewe kuuza mnzanu kuti zakumvetsetsani, ndikuganiza ngati, "Sanachite izi, ndiye ndikanena china chake, ndizingowapweteketsa mtima." Koma izi zikukana mfundo yayikulu yomwe ili: Iwo kupweteka yanu kumverera.

Ndinu wopereka

Kodi mumakonda kupatsa ena? Chofunika koposa, kodi mumapereka ndi cholinga chokondedwa?

Anthu okondweretsa amakonda kukonda kupatsa, Myers akufotokoza. "Kupereka nsembe kumatha kudzidalira, koma kumathandizanso kuti muphedwe." Mutha kupereka ndikupatsa, ndikuyembekeza kuti anthu abwezeretsanso chikondi ndi chikondi chomwe mukufuna.

Mulibe nthawi yaulere

Kungokhala otanganidwa sikutanthauza kuti ndinu okondweretsa anthu. Koma onani momwe mumagwiritsira ntchito nthawi yanu yopumula.

Pambuyo posamalira maudindo ofunikira, monga ntchito, ntchito zapakhomo, ndi kusamalira ana, zatsala ndi chiyani? Kodi muli ndi nthawi yopuma komanso yopuma?

Yesetsani kunena nthawi yomaliza yomwe mudachita nokha. Kodi mumakhala ndi mphindi ngati izi? Ngati simungaganize zambiri (kapena zina), mutha kukhala ndi zizolowezi zosangalatsa anthu.

Mikangano ndi mikangano zimakukhumudwitsani

Kusangalatsa anthu kumakhudzanso kuopa mkwiyo. Izi ndizomveka bwino. Mkwiyo umatanthauza, "Sindikusangalala." Chifukwa chake ngati cholinga chanu ndikuti musangalatse anthu, mkwiyo umatanthauza kuti mwalephera kuwasangalatsa.

Kuti mupewe mkwiyo, mutha kuthamangira kupepesa kapena kuchita chilichonse chomwe mukuganiza kuti chingawasangalatse, ngakhale sangakukwiyireni.

Mutha kuopanso mikangano yomwe ilibe nanu kanthu. Ngati anzanu awiri akukangana, mwachitsanzo, mungayesere kupereka upangiri kapena maupangiri okonza vutolo kuti adzakhale abwenzi kachiwiri - mwina ngakhale ndi chiyembekezo chobisika chomwe adzaganizire kwa inu chifukwa chowathandiza kupanga.

Momwe zimakukhudzirani

Kusangalatsa anthu sikobadwa nako, malinga ndi Myers. Kukhala mbali ya ubale ndi ena kumaphatikizapo kuganizira zofuna zawo, zosowa zawo, ndi malingaliro awo. ” Zizolowezi izi nthawi zambiri zimachokera kumalo okhudzidwa ndi achikondi.

Koma kuyesa kuyesetsa kuti uzikulemekeza ena nthawi zambiri kumatanthauza kuti umanyalanyaza zofuna ndi malingaliro ako. Mwanjira ina, mukuyesa kuchita. Mukuchita zomwe mukuganiza kuti anthu akufuna kuti azikukondani. Mutha kungonamizira kusangalala kuthandiza, chifukwa iyi ndi gawo losangalatsa anthu.

Izi sizowona mtima kwenikweni, ndipo pakapita nthawi, kusangalatsa anthu kumatha kukupweteketsani ndipo maubale anu. Umu ndi momwe.

Mumakhala wokhumudwa komanso wokwiya

Ngati mumathera nthawi yanu yonse kuchitira ena, anthu omwe mumawathandiza akhoza kuzindikira ndi kuyamikira nsembe zanu. Koma mwina sangatero.

Popita nthawi, atha kukupezerani mwayi, ngakhale sicholinga chawo. Mwina sangazindikire kuti mukupereka nsembe chifukwa cha iwo.

Mulimonsemo, kukhala wabwino ndi zolinga zoyipa kumatha kubweretsa kukhumudwa ndi mkwiyo. Izi nthawi zambiri zimangotulutsa zokhazokha, zomwe zimatha kusokoneza kapena kukhumudwitsa anthu omwe samamvetsetsa zomwe zikuchitika.

Anthu amatengerapo mwayi kwa inu

Anthu ena amazindikira mwachangu ndikugwiritsa ntchito mwayi wokonda kusangalatsa anthu. Mwina sangatchule khalidweli. Koma akudziwa kuti mungavomereze chilichonse chomwe angakufunseni, chifukwa adzapitiliza kufunsa. Ndipo mukuti inde, chifukwa mukufuna kuwasangalatsa.

Koma izi zitha kukhala ndi zotsatirapo zoyipa. Mutha kukumana ndi mavuto azachuma ngati anthu atapempha ndalama. Muthanso kukhala pachiwopsezo chachikulu chakuvutitsani kapena kuchitiridwa nkhanza m'maganizo.

Ngati ndinu kholo, khalidweli limatha kukhala ndi zotsatirapo zina. Mwachitsanzo, mutha kuloleza mwana wanu kuti azinyalanyaza maudindo chifukwa simukufuna kutaya chikondi chake. Koma izi zimawalepheretsa kuphunzira maluso ofunika pamoyo. Amatha kukhala achimwemwe tsopano, koma mtsogolomo, adzakhala ndi zovuta kuphunzira.

Maubwenzi anu samakukhutiritsani

Maubwenzi athanzi, olimba amakhala oyenera ndipo amaphatikizapo kupatsana. Mumachitira zabwino okondedwa anu, ndipo nawonso amakuchitirani zomwezo.

Mwina simudzakhala ndi maubwenzi abwino kwambiri pomwe anthu amakukondani chifukwa chowachitira zabwino.

Kukondana si chinthu chofunikira. Pamene zonse zomwe mumachita ndikupereka kuti mudzionetse ngati anthu omwe mukuganiza kuti ena akufuna kuti mukhale, simukuwonetsa pachibwenzi monga momwe mumadzionera. Ndizovuta kusunga, makamaka kusakhutira ndi, maubale omwe simulipo.

Kupsinjika ndi kutopa

Chimodzi mwazinthu zazikulu zokondweretsa anthu ndikuwonjezera kupsinjika. Izi zitha kuchitika mosavuta mukatenga zambiri kuposa zomwe ena sangakwanitse.

Sikuti mumangotaya nthawi paokha. Mumapezanso kuti mumakhala ndi nthawi yocheperako yochitira zinthu zomwe muyenera kuchita. Kuti mupeze zofunikira zofunika, mutha kumaliza kugwira ntchito maola ochulukirapo kapena kugona, kenako mukukumana ndi zovuta zakuthupi ndi nkhawa.

Abwenzi ndi abwenzi amakhumudwa nanu

Wokondedwa wanu akhoza kuwona momwe mumavomerezana ndi aliyense kapena angadabwe kuti bwanji mumapepesa pazinthu zomwe simunachite. Ndikosavuta kukhala ndi chizolowezi chothandiza ena mopweteketsa mtima kuyika nthawi ndi mphamvu muubwenzi.

Kusangalatsa anthu kumawomberanso mukamachitira ena zochuluka kotero kuti mumawachotsera bungwe lawo kuti azidzichitira zinthu.

Okondedwa anu amathanso kukwiya mukamanama kapena mukauza chowonadi chosinthidwa kuti musafe.

Zimachokera kuti?

"Timakondweretsa anthu pazifukwa zambiri," akutero a Myers.

Palibe chifukwa chimodzi chomwe chimapangitsa kuti anthu azisangalala. M'malo mwake, amayamba kukula kuchokera pazinthu zingapo, kuphatikiza zotsatirazi.

Zovuta zakale

Malinga ndi Myers, machitidwe okondweretsa anthu nthawi zina amabwera chifukwa chakuwopa komwe kumakhudzana ndi zoopsa.

Ngati mwakumana ndi zoopsa, monga kuzunzidwa kwa ana kapena anzanu, nthawi ina mwina simungamve kuti muli otetezeka kusunga malire ena. Mwina mudaphunzira kuti zinali zotetezeka kuchita zomwe anthu ena amafuna ndikupeza zosowa zawo poyamba.

Mwa kusangalatsa, munadzipangitsa kukhala okondedwa, motero otetezeka.

Werengani zambiri zakusangalatsa anthu ngati yankho lazowopsa.

Nkhani zodzidalira

Mauthenga okhudzana ndi dzina lanu kuchokera kumayanjano anu akale ndi omwe amakusamalirani atha kukhala ovuta kuwachotsa.

Ngati muphunzira, mwachitsanzo, kuti phindu lanu limachokera pazomwe mumachitira ena, izi zitha kubwereza mobwerezabwereza m'moyo wanu wonse pokhapokha mutayesetsa kuti musinthe uthengawo.

Kuopa kukanidwa

Maubwenzi oyambilira amatha kukupatirani munjira zina, inunso.

Ngati kholo lanu kapena amene amakusamalirani adakupatsani kuvomerezedwa ndi chikondi kutengera momwe mumakhalira, mwina mwazindikira msanga kuti ndibwino kuti akhale osangalala.

Pofuna kupewa kukanidwa mukamadzudzulidwa ndi kulangidwa mukalakwa, mwaphunzira kuchita zomwe amafuna, mwina asanakufunseni.

Momwe mungathetsere

Ngati mukufuna kuswa machitidwe okondweretsa anthu, kuzindikira momwe izi zimaonekera m'moyo wanu ndichinthu choyamba choyenera. Kuchulukitsa kuzindikira momwe mumakondera anthu-chonde zingakuthandizeni kuti musinthe.

Sonyezani kukoma mtima pamene mukufunira

Zili bwino - komanso ngakhale chinthu chabwino - kukhala okoma mtima.Koma kukoma mtima sikubwera chifukwa chofuna kupeza chivomerezo, ndipo nthawi zambiri sichimakhudza cholinga china chofuna kupititsa patsogolo zinthu kwa wina.

Musanapereke thandizo, ganizirani zolinga zanu ndi momwe mchitidwewo ungakupangitseni kumva. Kodi mwayi wothandiza munthu wina umakusangalatsani? Kapena mudzamva kukwiya ngati mchitidwewo sunabwezeretsedwe?

Yesetsani kudziika patsogolo

Muyenera kukhala ndi mphamvu komanso mphamvu zothandizira ena. Ngati simumadzisamalira, simudzatha kuchitira wina aliyense. Kuika zosowa zanu poyamba sikudzikonda, ndiko thanzi.

"Ndibwino kukhala wopatsa, wosamala," akutero a Myers. "Ndikofunikanso, komabe, kulemekeza ndikukwaniritsa zosowa zathu."

Kumbukirani kuti zosowa zingaphatikizepo zinthu monga kupereka malingaliro anu pamsonkhano wantchito, kukhala omasuka ndikumverera kwanu, ndikupempha zomwe mukufuna pachibwenzi chanu.

Phunzirani kukhazikitsa malire

Malinga ndi Myers, kukhazikitsa malire athanzi ndi gawo lofunikira pothana ndi machitidwe osangalatsa anthu.

Nthawi yotsatira wina akapempha thandizo kapena mutayesedwa kuti mulowerere, ganizirani izi:

• Momwe mumamvera ndi zomwe achitazo. Kodi ndi chinthu chomwe mukufuna kuchita, kapena mukuchita mantha?
• Kaya muli ndi nthawi yowona zosowa zanu poyamba. Kodi muyenera kusiya nthawi yocheperako kapena kusiya ntchito yofunikira?
• Kuthandizidwa kumakupangitsani kumva bwanji. Kodi zingakupangitseni kukhala osangalala kapena okwiya?

Dikirani mpaka mutapemphedwa thandizo

Ngakhale vuto ndi chiyani, mumakhala okonzeka nthawi zonse ndi yankho. Mumadzipereka pantchito yosamalira m'nyumba ndikudumphadumpha ndi malingaliro mnzanu akatchula vuto lililonse.

Nthawi ina, dzitsimikizireni kuti mudikire mpaka wina atakufunsani thandizo.

Ngati mnzanu akupita kokwiya ponena za momwe abwana ake aliri owopsa, mwachitsanzo, onetsani kuchuluka kwa momwe mumasamalirira pomvera m'malo mongolemba mndandanda wamalangizo oti athane ndi vutolo. Angafune kumvera chisoni ndikutsimikiziridwa kuposa china chilichonse.

Lankhulani ndi wothandizira

Sizovuta nthawi zonse kusiya nokha zomwe mwakhala nazo kale, makamaka zomwe zimapangidwa muubwana kapena chifukwa chovulala.

Wothandizira atha kukuthandizani kuti muwone chomwe chimapangitsa kuti mukhale osangalala. Ngakhale sizikuwoneka kuti pali chifukwa chomveka, atha kukupatsirani njira zokuthandizani kuthana ndi njira zina zomwe mumakondera anthu.

Nazi njira zisanu zamankhwala zotsika mtengo zomwe zingakuthandizeni kuti muyambe.

Mfundo yofunika

Kusangalatsa anthu kumamveka ngati chinthu chabwino, koma sichimakuchitirani inu kapena okondedwa anu chilichonse. Ngati mukumva kutopa poyesera kuti aliyense akhale wosangalala, lingalirani kukambirana ndi wothandizira za momwe mungapangire wekha wokondwa poyamba.

Crystal Raypole adagwirapo ntchito ngati wolemba komanso mkonzi wa GoodTherapy. Magawo ake achidwi akuphatikiza zilankhulo ndi mabuku aku Asia, kumasulira kwachijapani, kuphika, sayansi yachilengedwe, chiyembekezo chogonana, komanso thanzi lamaganizidwe. Makamaka, akudzipereka kuthandiza kuchepetsa manyazi pazokhudza matenda amisala.