Anthu Ena Olumala Anaphulitsa 'Diso La Queer.' Koma Popanda Kuyankhula Za Mpikisano, Sizimveka

Zamkati

• Mukamawonera gawo pafupifupi la mphindi 49, simungachitire mwina koma kuyamikira umunthu wowala wa Wesley.
• Zingakhale zovuta kulingalira, ndiye, chifukwa chake nkhaniyi idadzetsa mpungwepungwe pakati pa omwe sianthu Akuda mdera lolemala.
• 1. Kufulumira (ndi kufunitsitsa) komwe adayitanidwako - ndi omwe otsutsawo adachokera - anali kunena
• 2. Izi zidachitika Wesley asanalongosole zomwe adakumana nazo
• 3. Palibe malo omwe adachitika paulendo wa Wesley wovomerezeka
• 4. Mayitanidwe adafafaniza njira zapadera zomwe amuna akuda akuyimiridwa mgawoli
• 5. Kufunika kwa kuthandizidwa ndi amayi ake adasudzulana molakwika ndi zokumana nazo za omwe amasamalira azimayi akuda
• 6. Nkhaniyi inali yofunika kwambiri kwa abambo akuda, makamaka abambo olumala
• 7. Zomwe gawo lino (ndi mayitanidwe) zidakhudza anthu olumala akuda sizinaganiziridwe
• Nditalankhula ndi Wesley, ndidamufunsa kuti ndi mawu ati omwe ali nawo kwa amuna olumala akuda. Yankho lake? “Dziyeseni kuti mukhale munthu wotani.”

Nyengo yatsopano yamanambala oyambilira a Netflix "Queer Eye" yapeza chidwi chaposachedwa kwambiri kuchokera pagulu la anthu olumala, chifukwa ili ndi munthu wakuda wolumala wotchedwa Wesley Hamilton waku Kansas City, Missouri.

Wesley adakhala moyo wodziyesa wokha "wamnyamata woyipa" mpaka adawomberedwa pamimba ali ndi zaka 24. Munthawi yonseyi, Wesley amafotokoza momwe moyo wake ndi malingaliro ake zidasinthira, kuphatikiza momwe amawonera thupi lake lomwe lidangopunduka kumene.

Kwa zaka zisanu ndi ziwiri, Wesley adayamba "kumenyetsa miyendo yake chifukwa idali yopanda pake" ndikupanga bungwe la Disabled But Not Really, lomwe limapereka mapulogalamu azakudya zopatsa thanzi komanso olimbitsa thupi omwe cholinga chake ndikupatsa mphamvu olumala.

Mukamawonera gawo pafupifupi la mphindi 49, simungachitire mwina koma kuyamikira umunthu wowala wa Wesley.

Kuyambira kumwetulira kwake ndi kuseka kwake kufunitsitsa kuyesa zinthu zatsopano, kulumikizana komwe amapanga ndi Fab Five pomwe aliyense amasintha mawonekedwe ake ndi nyumba zawo zidatsitsimutsa kuwonerera.

Timamuwona akuyesa zovala zomwe amaganiza kuti sangathe kuvala chifukwa cha njinga yake yamagudumu; timamuwona akugawana nthawi zosavutikira ndi Tan ndi Karamo, akutsutsana ndi malingaliro amtundu wamisili, wopanda nkhawa.

Tikuwonanso dongosolo lachikondi lomwe lazungulira Wesley, kuyambira pomwe adachita bwino komanso mayi wonyada kwamuyaya kupita kwa mwana wake wamkazi yemwe amamuwona ngati Superman.

Pazifukwa zonsezi ndi zina zambiri, zochitikazi zikusuntha ndipo zimatsutsa malingaliro ambiri omwe Wesley - monga Munthu Wakuda, wolumala - amakumana nawo tsiku lililonse.

Zingakhale zovuta kulingalira, ndiye, chifukwa chake nkhaniyi idadzetsa mpungwepungwe pakati pa omwe sianthu Akuda mdera lolemala.

Panali madandaulo omwe amafunsa dzina la bungwe la Wesley, mwachitsanzo, ndi nkhawa yokhudza momwe zochitikazi zingawonongere malingaliro onse olumala kwa omvera omwe sangathenso.

Zotsutsa izi zidatulukira gawoli lisanatulutsidwe. Komabe adakopeka ndi media media ngakhale.

Komabe, anthu akuda olumala am'deralo atayamba kuwona zochitikazo, ambiri adazindikira kuti "zotentha" zomwe zikuwonekera pazanema sizinaganizire zovuta za kukhala Wakuda komanso olumala.

Ndiye, nchiyani, chomwe chidasowa? Ndidayankhula ndi mawu anayi odziwika pagulu la anthu olumala, omwe adasintha zokambiranazo mozungulira "Queer Eye" kuchoka pamkwiyo wolakwika ndikuyika zokumana nazo za anthu olumala akuda.

Zomwe adaziwona zimatikumbutsa za njira zambiri, ngakhale m'malo "opita patsogolo", momwe anthu olumala akuda amapitilira m'malire.

1. Kufulumira (ndi kufunitsitsa) komwe adayitanidwako - ndi omwe otsutsawo adachokera - anali kunena

Monga Keah Brown, wolemba komanso mtolankhani akufotokozera, "Ndizosangalatsa kuti anthu ammudzi amalumpha pammero pa anthu akuda olumala m'malo momangoganiza za ... momwe ziyenera kukhalira podzikayikira komanso chidani."

Chotsatira? Anthu akunja kwa dera lomwe a Wesley (ndikuwonjezerapo, adakhala ndi moyo) adapanga ziweruzo zokhudzana ndi ntchito ndi zopereka zake, kufafaniza zovuta zomwe zimadza chifukwa cha mtundu wake.

"Panali anthu odziwika omwe sanali akuda akuda komanso azungu omwe anali ndi mwayi wokhala nawo pa Twitter ndi Facebook," akutero Keah. "Zinandipangitsa kufunsa momwe amationera enafe, mukudziwa?"

2. Izi zidachitika Wesley asanalongosole zomwe adakumana nazo

"Anthu adalumpha mfuti. Sanachedwe kupusa munthuyu asanawonepo nkhaniyi, ”akutero Keah.

Zambiri mwa kuyambiranso izi zidabwera kuchokera kwa otsutsa omwe adapanga malingaliro okhudzana ndi dzina la Wesley lopanda phindu, Wolemala Koma Osati Chowonadi.

"Ndikumvetsetsa kuti bizinesi yake siyabwino, koma pamwamba, akufunsanso zomwe tonse timapempha: ufulu ndi ulemu. Zinandikumbutsa kwambiri kuti anthu ammudzi ali ndi tsankho lambiri logwiriramo ntchito, ”akutero Keah.

Ndinali ndi mwayi wocheza ndi Wesley zakubwerera m'mbuyo pantchito yake komanso gawo lake. Zomwe ndidaphunzira ndikuti Wesley akudziwa bwino za chipwirikiti, koma samadandaula nacho.

"Ndimalongosola zomwe olumala koma sizowona. Ndikulimbikitsa anthu kudzera kulimbitsa thupi komanso chakudya chifukwa zidandipatsa ine, ”akutero.

Pamene Wesley adayamba kupunduka, adazindikira kuti akudzichepetsera ndi zomwe amaganiza kuti wolumala anali - mosakayikira adadziwitsidwa ndi kusoweka kwa anthu omwe amawoneka ngati iye. Kukhala wathanzi komanso zakudya zopatsa thanzi ndi momwe adapezera chidaliro komanso kulimba mtima komwe ali nako zaka 7 pambuyo pa tsiku lopwetekalo.

Cholinga chake ndikupanga malo oti anthu ena olumala apeze anthu kudzera munjira zomwe zidamupatsa mwayi wokhala momasuka pakhungu lake - tanthauzo lomwe lidatayika pomwe zotsutsa zidapangidwa bwino asanadzifotokozere yekha masomphenyawo.

3. Palibe malo omwe adachitika paulendo wa Wesley wovomerezeka

Kukhazikitsa kwalemala kwa Wesley kudapangidwa chifukwa cha momwe adaphunzirira kukonda thupi lake lakuda lolumala. Pokhala munthu yemwe adapeza kulumala kwake mtsogolo, kumvetsetsa kwa Wesley kukusintha, monga tidadziwonera yekha kuchokera m'chiwonekere.

A Maelee Johnson, omwe adayambitsa ChronicLoaf komanso omenyera ufulu wa anthu olumala, akunena zaulendo womwe Wesley adakhalapo: "Mukawona wina ngati Wesley yemwe adayamba kupunduka pambuyo pake m'moyo, muyenera kuganizira zomwe zingakhudze izi. Mwachitsanzo, adayamba bizinezi yake atadwala kwambiri komanso kuvomereza kuti ali ndi chilema. ”

"Tanthauzo la dzina la bizinesi yake limatha kusintha ndikukula naye, ndipo ndizabwino komanso zomveka," akupitiliza Maelee. "Ife m'dera lolumala tiyenera kumvetsetsa izi."

A Heather Watkins, omenyera ufulu wachibadwidwe, akuwonanso mawu omwewa. "Wesley ndi gawo limodzi la magulu olimbikitsa anzawo omwe amakonda kulumikizana / kulumikizana ndi anthu ena omwe alibe mwayi, zomwe zimandipatsa chithunzi choti apitilizabe kudzizindikiritsa," akutero. "Palibe chilankhulo chake komanso kudzidalira komwe kudandipatsa nthawi yovuta chifukwa ali paulendo."

4. Mayitanidwe adafafaniza njira zapadera zomwe amuna akuda akuyimiridwa mgawoli

Zithunzi zomwe ambiri mwa ife tidaziwona ndi zomwe amuna akuda amafotokozerana zoona zawo.

Kuyanjana pakati pa Karamo ndi Wesley makamaka kunapereka chithunzithunzi champhamvu chachimuna ndi chiopsezo. Karamo adapanga malo otetezeka kuti Wesley afotokozere za kuvulala kwake, kuchira kwake, ndikukhala bwino, ndikumupatsa mwayi wothana ndi munthu yemwe adamuwombera.

Zowopsa zomwe zimawonetsedwa ndizachilendo pa TV pakati pa amuna awiri akuda, zomwe zikuyenera kuti tiwone pazenera.

Kwa André Daughtry, Twitch streamer, kusinthana pakati pa amuna akuda pawonetsero kunali kuwonetseratu kuchiritsa. "Kuyanjana pakati pa Wesley ndi Karamo kunali vumbulutso," akutero. “[Zinali] zokongola komanso zosangalatsa kuona. Kulimba mtima kwawo komanso kulumikizana kwawo ndi pulani yoti amuna onse akuda azitsatira. ”

Heather akuwonetsanso izi, komanso mphamvu yake yosinthira. "Zokambirana zomwe Karamo adathandizira zitha kukhala ziwonetsero zokha. Imeneyi inali nkhani yovuta, [ndipo] inali yosangalatsa - ndipo ANAMUKHULULUKIRA, ”akutero Heather. "Adanenanso] kuzindikira za kuyankha kwathunthu pazamoyo wake komanso momwe adakhalira. Izi ndi zazikulu; uwu ndi chilungamo chobwezeretsa. Izi zinali kuchiritsa. ”

5. Kufunika kwa kuthandizidwa ndi amayi ake adasudzulana molakwika ndi zokumana nazo za omwe amasamalira azimayi akuda

Amayi ake a Wesley adachita mbali yofunika kwambiri pakuchira kwake ndipo amafuna kuti atsimikize kuti Wesley anali ndi zida zomwe amafunikira kuti azikhala pawokha.

Pamapeto pa nkhaniyi, Wesley adathokoza amayi ake. Pomwe anthu ena amaganiza kuti chidwi chake pawokha pawokha chimatanthauza kuti chisamaliro chinali cholemetsa - ndikuti Wesley adalimbikitsanso pomuthokoza - anthuwa adasowa chifukwa chomwe zochitikazo zinali zofunika kwambiri m'mabanja akuda.

Heather anafotokoza mipata ija kuti: “Malinga ndi mmene ndimaonera ngati mayi komanso wosamalira makolo okalamba, ndikudziŵa kuti akazi akuda nthawi zambiri satchulidwa kapena amatchedwa 'olimba,' ngati kuti sitimapuma kapena kumva kuwawa, izi zimamveka ngati kuthokoza . ”

"Nthawi zina kukuthokozani kosavuta kodzazidwa ndi 'Ndikudziwa kuti munali ndi msana wanga ndipo munadzipereka kwambiri, munandipatsa nthawi, komanso munandisamalira' kungakhale mtendere ndi pilo yopumira," akutero.

6. Nkhaniyi inali yofunika kwambiri kwa abambo akuda, makamaka abambo olumala

Ndizosowa modabwitsa pomwe kulumala ndi kukhala bambo zimawonekera konse, makamaka nthawi zomwe zimakhudza amuna olumala akuda.

André akufotokoza momwe kuwonera Wesley akukhala bambo kumamupatsa chiyembekezo: "Nditawona Wesley ndi mwana wake wamkazi, Nevaeh, sindinachitire mwina koma ndikadzakhala ndi mwayi wokhala ndi ana tsiku limodzi.

"Ndikuwona kuti ndi zotheka kupezeka komanso sizingachitike. Kukhala ndi makolo olumala kuyenera kuwonetsedwa ndikukhala okwezeka. ”

Heather amafotokoza chifukwa chake chiwonetsero cha abambo-mwana wamkazi chinali chachilendo chinali champhamvu mwa icho chokha. "Pokhala bambo wakuda wolumala yemwe mwana wake wamkazi amamuwona ngati ngwazi [yake] inali yosangalatsa, [sanali] mosiyana ndi ziwonetsero zambiri za abambo ndi mwana wamkazi."

Mwanjira imeneyi, gawoli limapereka abambo olumala akuda ngati Wesley osati Ena, koma momwe aliri: makolo osangalatsa komanso achikondi.

7. Zomwe gawo lino (ndi mayitanidwe) zidakhudza anthu olumala akuda sizinaganiziridwe

Monga mayi wolumala wakuda, ndidawona amuna ambiri olumala omwe ndidakulira nawo ku Wesley. Amuna omwe amayesera kuti adzidziwitse m'dziko lomwe angakhulupirire kuti mtundu wawo wamwamuna Wakuda udasokonekera chifukwa anali olumala.

Amuna amenewo analibe mawonekedwe a amuna achikulire olumala omwe akanatha kufotokozera kunyada komwe amafunikira kuti azidalira matupi ndi malingaliro omwe ali nawo.

André akufotokoza chifukwa chake kuwona Wesley pa "Queer Eye" kunali kofunika kwa iye panthawiyi m'moyo: "Ndidagwirizana ndi kulimbana kwa Wesley kuti adzipezeke munyanja lodziwika kuti ndi akuda komanso kuti ndi amuna oopsa. Ndidamuwuza kuti anali mwana wapamwamba komanso wosasangalala atamva mawu ake. ”

Atafunsidwa zomwe anganene kwa Wesley pazomwe zimachitika, André akumulimbikitsa kuti "anyalanyaze iwo omwe samamvetsetsa mayendedwe ake amoyo. Akuchita bwino poganizira ubale wake olumala ndi anthu ammudzi, ndi Mdima wake ndi utate. Palibe chilichonse chosavuta kapena chotsatira mwatsatanetsatane choti muchite. ”

Nditalankhula ndi Wesley, ndidamufunsa kuti ndi mawu ati omwe ali nawo kwa amuna olumala akuda. Yankho lake? “Dziyeseni kuti mukhale munthu wotani.”

Monga zikuwonekera pa mawonekedwe ake pa "Queer Eye," Wesley amawona anthu olumala akuda ali ndi mphamvu zazikulu. Kuchokera pantchito yake, akufikira gulu la anthu olumala omwe malo ambiri samanyalanyaza kapena sangathe kufikira.

"Ndinapulumuka usiku womwewo pazifukwa," akutero Wesley. Maganizo amenewa asintha kwambiri momwe amaonera moyo wake, thupi lake lakuda wolumala, komanso zomwe akufuna kukhala nazo pagulu lomwe lanyalanyazidwa komanso lodziwikiratu.

Gawo la "Queer Eye" lidatsegula khomo loti kukambirana kofunikira kwambiri kuchitike pakulimbana ndi Mdima, kudutsana, komanso kukhazikitsa malingaliro olumala a akuda.

Tiyeni tiyembekezere kuti tidzakhala anzeru ndipo tisapitilize kupitilira kapena kufafaniza magawo am'deralo pomwe akuyenera kukhala mawu awo - inde, mawu ofanana ndendende a Wesley - kutsogolo.

Vilissa Thompson, LMSW, ndi wogwira ntchito zothandiza anthu ochokera ku South Carolina. Limbikitsani Liwu Lanu! ndi bungwe lake komwe amakambirana zinthu zomwe zimamugwira ngati mayi wolumala wakuda, kuphatikiza mayendedwe olumikizana, kusankhana mitundu, ndale, komanso chifukwa chomwe amapangira mavuto. Mupeze pa Twitter @VilissaThompson, @RampYourVoice, ndi @WheelDealPod.