Ubale Wanu Ukhoza Kukhudza Thupi Lanu

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Kupeza munthu amene amakukondani mosaganizira ayenera kukhala wolimbikitsira wamkulu, sichoncho? Malinga ndi kafukufuku watsopano, sizomwe zili choncho zonse maubwenzi, makamaka omwe m'modzi amaonedwa ngati wokongola kuposa mnzake. (Chidziwitso cham'mbali: Zithunzi za agalu zingakhale chinsinsi cha ubale wolimba?)

Ofufuza omwe amatsatira phunziroli, lomwe linangofalitsidwa m'magazini Chithunzi cha Thupi, ankafuna kufufuza momwe zibwenzi zingadziwire mwayi wa amayi kuti ayambe kudya molakwika. Pamapeto pake, adapeza kuti azimayi omwe ali maubwenzi ndi abambo omwe amawoneka kuti ndiwokopa mtima amakhala ndi nkhawa kuti akhale ochepa thupi komanso azidya. Kumbali ina, pamene mkazi ali pachibwenzi amaonedwa kuti ndi wokongola kwambiri, iwo samamva chitsenderezo chomwecho. Wokwera? Amuna samva kukakamizidwa mosatengera kuti ndi mnzake uti yemwe akuwoneka kuti ndi wokongola. Ugh.

Oposa 100 omwe adakwatirana posachedwa (komanso olimba mtima) adavomereza kuyesedwa kutengera kukongola kwawo. Munthu aliyense amene adatenga nawo gawo adadzaza mafunso omwe amafunsa mafunso okhudza mawonekedwe athupi, kaya anali osangalala ndi mawonekedwe awo, komanso kukakamizidwa komwe amamva kuti awoneke ngati owonda komanso / kapena okongola. Chithunzi chathunthu cha munthu aliyense chidatengedwanso ndikuyesedwa kuti chikhale chokongola (chovoteledwa 1 mpaka 10) ndi gulu lodziyimira pawokha la anthu. Mapeto ake, azimayi omwe amawerengedwa ochepera kuposa amuna awo amadzimva kuti ali ndi nkhawa ndipo amakhala ndi chidwi chofuna kudya. Womp womp.

Koma monga a Paul Hokemeyer, Ph.D., LMFT, adatiwuza koyambirira kwa chaka chino: "Cholinga cha ubale ndikulingalira bwino ndikupeza mgwirizano ngati banja. Anthu awiri osiyana amalumikizana monga chinthu chimodzi ndikupeza chimwemwe mu dziko. " Mwanjira ina, aliyense m'banjamo sayenera kukhala chimodzimodzi monga mnzake. Kusiyana kwa kukongola sikofala kokha, ndi 100% yachibadwa.

Koma tingatani kuti tikonze vuto la kadyedwe? Chabwino, wophunzira wa udokotala Tania Reynolds, yemwe anali m'modzi mwa olemba otsogolera pa kafukufukuyu, akugogomezera kufunikira kwa amuna okwatirana kutenga nthawi kuti afotokoze zomwe amathandizira akazi. "Njira imodzi yothandizira amayiwa ndi yakuti abwenzi azitsimikiziranso kwambiri, kuwakumbutsa kuti, 'Ndiwe wokongola. Ndimakukondani pa kulemera kulikonse kapena mtundu wa thupi, "adatero Reynolds m'mawu osindikizira. Zachidziwikire, malingaliro awa akuyenera kuperekedwa muubwenzi uliwonse, koma mwina pali phindu pakuwonetsetsa kuti mukuwanena mokweza ndikumveketsa bwino za izi, m'malo mongoganiza kuti kuvomereza kwamthupi kumamveka. Ndipo ngati mnzanu amatsutsa thupi lanu mwanjira iliyonse, itha kukhala nthawi yolingalira za chibwenzicho. (FYI, umu ndi momwe mikangano yosagona tulo ndi mnzanu ikuwonongerani thanzi lanu.)

Olemba akuyembekeza kuti pozindikira machitidwe awa muubwenzi komanso kuphunzitsa ena za olosera zam'mbuyo komanso zidziwitso, azachipatala atha kuthandiza posachedwa kwa azimayi omwe ali ndi vuto la kudya kapena mawonekedwe amthupi. "Tikamvetsetsa momwe maubwenzi azimayi amakhudzira chisankho chawo pankhani yazakudya komanso olosera zamtsogolo pokhala ndi machitidwe osadya bwino," adatero Reynolds, "pamenepo tidzatha kuwathandiza."

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