‘Ndine Ndani?’ Momwe Mungapezere Lingaliro Lanu Lokha

Zamkati

• Chifukwa chiyani ndikofunikira
• Kuyang'anitsitsa ndikudzikonda kwanu
• Kodi ndimavomereza kuti ena azisangalala?
• Kodi ndimachita bwino ziti?
• Nchiyani chimandibweretsera chimwemwe?
• Kodi ndimayendera mfundo ziti? Kodi ndimakhala moyo wanga moyenerera?
• Kodi zosankha zanga zikuwonetsa zokonda zanga kapena za wina?
• Zinthu zomwe zingakhudze momwe mumadzionera
• Kudziwonetsera
• Chophatikiza
• Chikhumbo chofanana nawo
• Kumanga kudzidalira
• Fotokozani mfundo zomwe mumayendera
• Pangani zisankho zanu
• Muzikhala ndi nthawi yokhala nokha
• Ganizirani momwe mungakwaniritsire zolinga zanu
• Nthawi yoti muthandizidwe
• Mfundo yofunika

Kudzidzimva kwanu kumatanthauza momwe mumaonera kusonkhanitsa mikhalidwe yomwe imakutanthauzirani.

Makhalidwe, maluso, zomwe mumakonda ndi zomwe simukuzikonda, zikhulupiriro zanu kapena machitidwe anu, ndi zinthu zomwe zimakulimbikitsani - zonsezi zimadzipangitsa kudziona nokha kapena kudziwika kuti ndinu munthu.

Anthu omwe amatha kufotokozera mosavuta zinthu izi amadziwika kuti ndiotani. Kulimbana ndi kutchulapo zina mwazinthuzi kungapangitse kuti tisamadziwe bwino.

Simungathe kuthera nthawi yochuluka mukuganizira za umunthu wanu, komabe zimakhudzanso moyo wanu. Kudziwa yemwe inu muli kumakupatsani mwayi wokhala ndi cholinga ndikukhala ndi maubwenzi okhutira, zonse zomwe zimathandizira kuti mukhale ndi thanzi labwino.

Mukusangalatsidwa ndikufufuza zaubwino wodziwonetsa bwino? Kusaka maupangiri pakukula kwanu? Mwafika pamalo oyenera.

Chifukwa chiyani ndikofunikira

Anthu ena amatha kukhala kutali kwambiri ndi moyo popanda kudzizindikiritsa kwambiri ngakhale. Chifukwa chake, mwina mungadabwe, kodi kudziona kuti ndinu wolimba mtima kumathandizadi?

Izo mwamtheradi zimatero.

Erika Myers, mlangizi waluso yemwe ali ndi zilolezo ku Bend, Oregon, akufotokoza kuti:

“Kukhala ndi luso lodziona kuti ndife ofunika kwambiri n’kothandiza kwambiri potithandiza kusankha zochita pamoyo wathu. Kuchokera pachakudya chaching'ono monga chakudya chomwe timakonda kwambiri mpaka pazinthu zazikulu monga malingaliro athu, kudziwa zomwe zimachokera kwa ife eni poyerekeza ndi zomwe zimachokera kwa ena kumatipatsa mwayi wokhala moyo weniweni. ”

Kudziyimira kwanu kumathandizanso kuzindikira kuti ndinu ofunika. Simuli wangwiro (ndani?), Komabe muli ndi phindu lalikulu.

Kudzidziwitsa wekha kumapangitsa kukhala kosavuta kuvomereza umunthu wako wonse, zonse zomwe umanyadira ndi zomwe ungafune kusintha. Ngati mukuona kuti simukukhutira ndi zina mwazomwe muli, mudzakhala ndi nthawi yosavuta yolimbana ndi madera amenewo mukakhala ndi chidziwitso chazikhalidwe zanu komanso kuthekera kwanu.

Kusakhala ndi chidziwitso chaumwini, komano, nthawi zambiri kumapangitsa kukhala kovuta kudziwa zomwe mukufuna. Ngati mukumva kuti mulibe chitsimikizo kapena osankha bwino ikadzafika nthawi yopanga zosankha zofunika, mutha kumavutika kusankha chilichonse.

Zotsatira zake, mutha kungoyenda pang'ono m'moyo, kutsogozedwa ndi anthu ena komanso zochitika m'malo mofulumira kwanu. Izi nthawi zambiri zimabweretsa kusakhutira, ngakhale palibe chomwe chimawoneka cholakwika ndipo simungathe kuzindikira komwe kumabweretsa chisangalalo chanu.

Kuyang'anitsitsa ndikudzikonda kwanu

Chifukwa chake, malingaliro anu aumwini amagwera pati pazowonera?

Mwinamwake mwawona ndondomeko yopanga zisankho kutengera zomwe mukuganiza kuti anthu ena akufuna kwa inu. Kapena mwina mulibe zokhumba zambiri kapena zokhumba zozama ndipo mumangokhutira kuti mupite ndi kutuluka.

Kudzifunsa nokha mafunso pansipa kungakupatseni chidziwitso.

Kodi ndimavomereza kuti ena azisangalala?

Ndizabwino kwathunthu kupatsa ena nthawi zina, koma ngati mumavomereza nthawi zonse zomwe ena akufuna, mwina simukukhala nokha. Kudzifotokozera nokha makamaka ndi maubale ndi ena kapena kuthekera kwanu kusangalatsa okondedwa anu kungakupangitseni kukhala opanda chidwi.

Kodi ndimachita bwino ziti?

Kudzidalira kumadalira osati kungodziwa zomwe muli nazo komanso kukhulupirira kuthekera kwanu kuti muzigwiritsa ntchito kukwaniritsa zolinga zanu.

Kukhala ndi luso labwino pamaluso anu ndikuwakulitsa pamoyo wanu watsiku ndi tsiku nthawi zambiri kumatanthauza kuti mumakhala ozindikira.

Nchiyani chimandibweretsera chimwemwe?

Nchiyani chimakuthandizani kuti muzisangalala komanso musangalale? Ndi zosangalatsa kapena zochitika ziti zomwe zimapangitsa moyo kukhala watanthauzo?

Aliyense ali ndi zinthu zochepa ndipo anthu pamoyo safuna kusintha kapena kutaya, ndikuzindikiritsa anthu ofunikirawa ndi zomwe angachite atha kukuwuzani zambiri za inu nokha.

Kodi ndimayendera mfundo ziti? Kodi ndimakhala moyo wanga moyenerera?

Kudziwitsa zamakhalidwe anu kumatha kutithandizira kwambiri kufotokozera momwe mumadzionera. Makhalidwe amafotokozera mikhalidwe yomwe mumaika patsogolo mwa inu nokha kapena kwa ena-kumvera ena chisoni, kuwona mtima, kudalirika, kukoma mtima, ndi zina zambiri.

Kodi zosankha zanga zikuwonetsa zokonda zanga kapena za wina?

Ngati simukudziwa momwe mungayankhire funsoli, yang'anani mbali ina: Kodi mungasankhe zomwezo mukadakhala nokha? Zosankha zomwe zimakhazikitsidwa makamaka pazokhumba zanu komanso zolinga zanu kwa inu eni zimawonetsa kudzipereka kwanu.

Zinthu zomwe zingakhudze momwe mumadzionera

Nenani kuti mwakhala ndi vuto poyankha mafunso pamwambapa.

“Ndine yani, kwenikweni? ” mwina mukudabwa, mwina ndi mavuto ena.

Zingakutsimikizireni kuti muphunzire kuti si zachilendo kwenikweni kukhala ndi kudzimva kwakanthawi kodzikonda. Izi sizikutanthauza kuti mwalakwitsa kalikonse kapena kuti mukuyenera kukhala moyo wopanda chidziwitso.

Kumvetsetsa bwino zinthu zomwe zimagwira nawo ntchito yodzipangira zitha kukuthandizani kuti muyambe kuzikulitsa.

Kudziwonetsera

Kudzimasulira, kapena njira yomwe mumadzipangira nokha, imayamba muubwana. Kuti aliyense payekhapayekha azichita bwino, ana amafunika malo oti athe kufufuza, kuphunzira, ndi kufotokoza zosowa ndi zokhumba zawo.

"Tikalimbikitsidwa kuwonetsa umunthu wathu popanda kuchita manyazi kapena kudzimva kuti ndife olakwika, timatha kudzimva kuti tili athu," akufotokoza a Myers.

Ngati kuyesayesa kwanu kudziyesa wokha kumangodzudzulidwa kapena kulangidwa ndi makolo, anzanu, kapena wina aliyense, mutha kuyankha mwanyalanyaza momwe mumadzionera. Zingawoneke ngati zotetezeka komanso zopindulitsa kwambiri kudzipanga nokha kukhala munthu wovomerezeka mosavuta.

Chophatikiza

Ubwenzi wanu ndi makolo anu kapena omwe amakusamalirani amatenga gawo lofunikira pakumvetsetsa kwanu maubwenzi ena mtsogolo. Kudzimva kosatetezeka kumatha kukhudza osati kukulira kudziwika kwanu komanso machitidwe anu muubwenzi wachikulire.

Nkhani zophatikizira zitha kukhala zovuta, koma nayi rundown mwachangu momwe amalumikizirana ndi kudzimva.

Mukakhala kuti mulibe chitsimikizo cha chikondi ndi kuvomereza koperewera kwa omwe akukusamalirani, mutha kusintha machitidwe anu kuti avomereze. Kutamandidwa ndi kukondana komwe kumatsatira kumalimbitsa chikhulupiriro chakuti kudziyesa nokha kuti mukwaniritse zoyembekeza za ena ndiye njira yabwino kwambiri (mwina yokhayo) yopambana pamaubwenzi.

Chitsanzochi nthawi zambiri chimapitilira kusewera muubwenzi wanu wamtsogolo mukamapanikizira zosowa zanu kuti mukwaniritse zosowa za anzanu, powona kuti ndiyo njira yokhayo yosungilira chikondi chawo.

Chikhumbo chofanana nawo

Ngati mumavutikira kufanana ndi anzanu muunyamata, mwina zikadakhala zosavuta kuti mutenge nawo mwayi wokhala ngati chameleon. M'malo mongodzisunga mumtima mwanu, munayamba kusintha zomwe mukufuna kuti zigwirizane ndi magulu angapo.

Kulandila kumatha kukhala kolimbikitsa kwambiri. Ngati kudzisinthaku kwakuthandizani pazaka zanu zaunyamata, phunziroli limatha kukhalabe nanu kufikira mutakula.

Mutha kutenga munthu wina kuntchito, wina mukakhala ndi banja lanu, komanso nthawi ina mukamacheza ndi anzanu. Kusintha pakati "pazokha" izi kungapangitse kukhala kovuta kwambiri kuti mufufuze zomwe mumachita ndikudzipangira nokha nkhawa.

Kumanga kudzidalira

Kudzimva wosakhazikika kumatha kukupangitsani kumva kuti ndinu olimba komanso osakwaniritsidwa, koma nthawi zonse ndizotheka kukhala ndi chithunzi chodziwikiratu.

Yesani njirazi kuti muyambe kukhazikitsa konkriti, kudziyimira pawokha.

Fotokozani mfundo zomwe mumayendera

Makhalidwe ndi zikhulupiriro zanu ndizofunikira kwambiri podziwika.

Chikhulupiriro chanu chimatha kukuthandizani kuzindikira zomwe zimakukhudzani kwambiri ndikuzindikira komwe mungaime pazinthu zofunika. Mwachitsanzo, chikhumbo chofuna kuteteza ufulu wazinyama chingakupangitseni kusankha zinthu zopanda nkhanza ndikupanga zisankho zabwino pazakudya zomwe mumadya.

Makhalidwe abwino atha kuthandiza kuwongolera malire omwe mumakhazikitsa ndi ena m'moyo wanu. Ngati mumakonda kuwona mtima, mwachitsanzo, mutha kuwonetsa kuti simungathe kukhalabe paubwenzi ndi munthu amene amakunamizani.

Simuyenera kuzindikira zofunikira zanu zonse nthawi imodzi, koma yesani kulingalira za zina zomwe zingatheke mukamayendera tsiku lanu ndikuyanjana ndi dziko lapansi.

Pangani zisankho zanu

Zosankha zanu ziyenera, makamaka, zikuthandizireni kukhala ndi thanzi labwino. Ngati muli ndi mnzanu kapena ana, mudzafunikanso kuganizira zosowa zawo, ngakhale izi siziyenera kukhala zodzinyalanyaza.

Kumbukirani: Zosowa zanu zikakwaniritsidwa, muli ndi zochepa zoti mupatse ena.

Mwinamwake mwalola ena kukupangirani zisankho zofunika m'mbuyomu - kusankha koleji, ntchito, kapena malo okhala. Ngati ndi choncho, zitha kukhala zomangika, ngakhale zowopsa, kuyamba kudzipangira nokha zosankha.

Zili bwino kuyamba pang'ono, komabe. Yesetsani kuchita zinthu chifukwa inu ndikufuna kuzichita, osapempha kuti ena athandizire.

Kumbukirani kuti kufunafuna chitsogozo kuchokera kwa ena sikukutanthauza kuti mulibe kudzidalira. Ndizabwino kwathunthu - ngakhale kwanzeru - kukambirana zosankha zovuta ndi okondedwa omwe mumawakhulupirira. Kumapeto kwa tsikulo, ndikofunikira kupanga chisankho chomwe chili chabwino kwa inu, mosaganizira malingaliro awo.

Muzikhala ndi nthawi yokhala nokha

Mukafuna kudziwa winawake, mumacheza nawo, sichoncho? Chifukwa chake, kuti kudzidziwa bwino kudzatengera nthawi yabwino muli nokha.

Zingamveke zachilendo poyamba, koma ndizabwino kutenga nthawi kupatula ena, ngakhale banja lanu kapena mnzanu.

Gwiritsani ntchito nthawi ino momwe mumafunira. Ngati mungafune kukulitsa kudzifufuza, yesani:

• kuyesa zatsopano
• kudzipereka
• kuwerenga mabuku ambiri
• kusinkhasinkha
• kusunga zolemba

Ganizirani momwe mungakwaniritsire zolinga zanu

akuwonetsa kuti kusiyana pakati pa kudzikonda kwanu (omwe mumadziyesa nokha) ndi momwe mumakhalira (omwe muli) kungachititse kuti mukhale osakhutira, ngakhale kukhumudwa.

Mwanjira ina, kudziwa yemwe inu muli mwina sikungakhale kokwanira, ngakhale ndi chiyambi chabwino kwambiri. Kulephera kudzilemekeza kumatha kusokoneza thanzi lanu lamaganizidwe.

Mukakhala ndi kudzidalira kwanu, lingalirani zomwe mungachite kuti mugwirizane ndi moyo wanu. Mwachitsanzo, mutha kudzifunsa nokha zomwe mungasinthe pamoyo wanu waluso kapena momwe mumayanjanirana ndi ena.

Nthawi yoti muthandizidwe

Zingamveke zovuta kwambiri kuyamba kufotokoza momwe mumadzimvera, makamaka ngati simunaganizirepo za inu.

Ngati mukumira, lingalirani kwa akatswiri azaumoyo kuti akuthandizeni. Katswiri wothandizira amatha kukupatsani chithandizo ndikumva kukhumudwa komwe kumakhudzana ndi kudzimva kwanu, monga:

• kudziyang'anira pansi
• kukhumudwa
• nkhawa
• kusasangalala kosatha komwe kumadza chifukwa chosakhutira ndi moyo
• Kuntchito kapena nkhawa zaubwenzi

Ngakhale mulibe zizindikiritso zamaganizidwe, chithandizo akadali malo abwino kuyamba kudzifufuza.

Mu chithandizo, mutha:

• kuzindikira mfundo
• Tsegulani zolumikizana kapena zovuta pamaubwenzi
• phunzirani ndikuchita maluso popanga zisankho
• fufuzani ndi kuthana ndi zosowa zomwe sizinakwaniritsidwe
• yambani kulimbana ndi mavuto aliwonse okhudzana ndi kudziona nokha

Kulumikizana pakati pa thanzi lam'mutu ndi kudzimva kosakhazikika kumapita mbali zonse ziwiri. Nkhani zokhudzana ndi kudziwika kwanu, monga kusadziwika, kusintha pafupipafupi, kapena kudzipangitsa kudziona nokha, nthawi zina zimatha kuchitika ngati chizindikiro cha:

• vuto lakumalire
• histrionic vuto lamunthu
• kudziyanjanitsa ndi zovuta zina za dissociative
• schizophrenia
• post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)

Izi zitha kukhala zowopsa, koma iwo ali zochiritsika. Katswiri wophunzitsidwa bwino amatha kukuthandizani kuti muwone zisonyezo zina ndikupatseni malangizo pazithandizo zamankhwala.

Mfundo yofunika

Lingaliro la "kudzikonda" sikophweka nthawi zonse kumvetsetsa, mwa zina chifukwa chizindikiritso chanu mwachilengedwe chimasinthasintha ndikukula m'moyo mukamaphunzira ndikukula.

Ndi zachilendo kukhala ndi nthawi zosokonezeka kapena kudzikayikira. Mukamakhala osakwaniritsidwa nthawi zonse kapena mumavutika kutchula zosowa zanu ndi zokhumba zanu, ganizirani zopatula nthawi yodzipezera nokha.

Crystal Raypole adagwirapo ntchito ngati wolemba komanso mkonzi wa GoodTherapy. Magawo ake achidwi akuphatikiza zilankhulo ndi mabuku aku Asia, kumasulira kwachijapani, kuphika, sayansi yachilengedwe, chiyembekezo chogonana, komanso thanzi lamaganizidwe. Makamaka, akudzipereka kuthandiza kuchepetsa manyazi pazokhudza matenda amisala.