Katswiri Wogonana Wachipatalayu Ali Ndi Zomveka Zamphamvu Zokhudza Kugonana / Moyo wa Netflix

Zamkati

• Ndani "amene ali woyenera" kwa Billie, mulimonse?
• Kuwonetsedwa kwa maubale otseguka ndi moto wamtambo.
• Kuchita ngati bulu sizolimbikitsa kugonana. Zimangochita ngati bulu.
• Onaninso za

Ngati simunamvepo (kapena kuwona makanema apa virus 3 reaction pa TikTok), mndandanda watsopano wa Netflix, Kugonana / Moyo, posachedwa adayamba kugunda nthawi yomweyo. Kunena zoona, ndinadya zonse m'masiku awiri. Kanema wokhudza mkazi wokonda kugona komanso wokonda kugonana komanso wokhala ndi zochitika zambiri zogonana? INDE!

Ndine wopatsa mphamvu zakugonana kwa akazi, ndipo ndimakonda kuwona mawonetsero angati omwe awonetsa chikhumbo cha akazi m'njira yomwe imapatsa akazi mwayi pazofuna zawo (ahem, Bridgerton, Muzimva Zabwino, Grace & Frankie, ndipo Zosavuta). Mwanjira zambiri, Kugonana/Moyo amachita chimodzimodzi. Zimapatsa Billie (yemwe akuwonetsa chiwonetserochi) mwayi woti akhale mkazi wokonda zachiwerewere yemwe amasangalala kuzipeza (wokongola kwambiri, mwamphamvu) asanakwatirane ndi "munthu wamaloto ake" wangwiro ndi ana awiri.

Chenjezo: Pali zowononga zambiri patsogolo. Koma ngati mukuwonera pano Kugonana / Moyo kapena ndangomaliza ndikusiyidwa ngati 🥴!?!?! ndikukhulupirira kuti izi zithandizira kumvetsetsa. Ndipo ngati simunayang'ane pano, chabwino, mungafune kupitiliza kuwerenga: Ndikuganiza moona mtima kuti mukufuna kudziwa zina mwa zinthu izi kale inu muziwone izo. Zinandiyamwa mwachangu (ndizotentha ndipo pali zochuluka zogonana), komanso zinandichititsa kukhumudwa ndikukhumudwa. Panali zambiri ziwonetserozi zinali zolondola… koma panali zambiri zomwe zidakonzedwa. Simungathe kupeza chilichonse bwino nthawi zonse, ndimachipeza, koma momwe chiwembucho chinavumbulidwira chinakhala chosafunika komanso chakumbuyo kotero kuti sindikanatha kuganiza kuti: Kodi gehena ndinangoyang'ana chiyani?

Ndizofunikira kudziwa kuti chiwonetserochi chazikidwadi m'buku - osati buku lililonse, koma memoir 44 Mitu ya 4 Amuna wolemba BB Easton (Buy It, $ 14, amazon.com), kutanthauza kuti chiwembu cha chiwonetserocho chidatengedwa kuchokera kwa winawake moyo weniweni. Izi zati, uku ndi chiwonetsero chongopeka, sikutanthauza moyo weniweni, ndipo sichinthu chomwe muyenera kuchita (chosangalatsa monga ziwonetsero zakugonana). Ichi ndichifukwa chake.

Ndani "amene ali woyenera" kwa Billie, mulimonse?

Ndayika "munthu wamaloto ake" (pokamba za mwamuna wa Billie Cooper) m'mawu omwe atchulidwa pamwambapa chifukwa pali lingaliro losagwirizana ndi lingaliro ili - lomwe limadziwika pamene chiwonetserochi chikuyenda bwino. Cooper ndi wokhulupirika kwambiri, bambo wamkulu, ndipo kwenikweni, chilichonse Brad (wakale wa Billie) sali.

Inde, Cooper ndi "Guy Wabwino." M'malo mwake, chiwonetserochi chimangotsala pang'ono kutikumbutsa izi nthawi zonse. Akufuna kupulumutsa dziko lonse poika ndalama muukadaulo waluso womwe ungapulumutse miyoyo ya anthu. Amamumenya nkhonya mnzake wogwira naye ntchito paphwando logonana chifukwa amamenya mkazi wake, kenako amatengera nkhaniyi kwa abwana ake ndi HR. Cooper ndi "Guy Wabwino" ndipo Brad wasinthidwa - ngakhale sizikudziwika kuti izi ndi zowona bwanji - "Bad Boy." Chowonadi cha dichotomy iyi yonse "Mwamuna ndi Toxic Ex" ndichopepuka pang'ono, IMO.

Koma sizowona apa. Vuto ndi momwe Billie amachitira ndi chilakolako chake chogonana cha Brad ndi chikondi chake komanso kukhazikika kwake ndi Cooper. Kodi akudzikhutiritsa yekha kuti Cooper ndiyofunika kupsinjika maganizo konseku? Kodi alidi "Yemwe?" Sitinapatsidwe chidziwitso chokwanira pamalingaliro ake enieni kuti tipeze yankho lolunjika ku funso ili. Ndikuganiza kuti amakonda kwambiri Cooper, koma amasankha kufotokoza zachiwerewere ndi moyo wawo wokhumudwitsa wogonana m'malo mongomubweretsa. Kwa ine, izi zimamveka ngati WTF. (Zogwirizana: Kodi Mungalembetse Njira Yanu Yogonana Bwino?)

Zikuwoneka kuti Billie nthawi zonse amayembekezera kuti wokondedwa wake akwaniritse zilakolako zake zogonana ndi T, osafotokoza zomwe akufuna kapena zomwe akufuna.Amadaliranso chemistry yokhudzana ndi kugonana kuti asunge moyo wake wogonana - koma monga katswiri wodziwa za kugonana kwachipatala, ndikuuzeni kuti izi sizingatheke kwa ambiri, maanja ambiri. Mabanja ambiri amakhala ndi chemistry yomweyo (chifukwa chake kukopa koyamba), koma chemistry imatha kuchepa pakapita nthawi. Kugonana kumatenga ntchito ndipo kumakhala bwino pakapita nthawi (nthawi zambiri) bola onse anthu akudzipereka kuti apange bwino.

Kuti zikhumudwitse kwambiri, Billie nayenso anali paulendo wopita ku Ph.D. mu psychology (ndipo pano ali ndi digiri ya master mu psychology) asanakumane ndi kukwatiwa ndi Cooper. Iye ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo popanda womuthandizira yekha. Amalemba nkhani mu Psychology Today yonena za kukhulupirirana ndi chitetezo kukhala zinthu zofunika kwambiri pachimake chachikazi, koma saganiza konse, "Hei, ndili ndi moyo wokonda kugonana ndi amuna anga. Ndikuganiza kuti tiziwona mlangizi wa banja." Kapena, monga, ngakhale kuyankhula naye za izi. M'malo mwake, amapita ndi, "Ndikuganiza kuti ndinyalanyaza vutoli ndikukwiyitsa mwamuna wanga kwamuyaya kwinaku ndikulota zausiku wonse wotentha ndi wakale wanga, Brad."

Katswiri wothandiza anthu okwatirana akanatha kuwathandiza kuthana ndi zikhumbo zawo zogonana, kusamvana, komwe akanatha kusintha, ndi kuwathandiza kutsimikiziranso kudzipereka kwawo kwa wina ndi mnzake. Wothandizira awiriwa akanatha kuwathandiza kuchira m'malo mosiya mkwiyo ufike, momwe zimachitikira Billie pang'onopang'ono.

Kuwonetsedwa kwa maubale otseguka ndi moto wamtambo.

Izi zikuwoneka ngati mfundo yomwe chiwonetserocho chimayesa kupanga mwachikhulupiriro chabwino: Simuyenera kusankha pakati pa munthu amene amakupatsani zilakolako zonse ndi wina amene amakupatsani chidaliro chonse. Mutha kukhala ndi zonsezi: Amatchedwa osakwatirana okhaokha / ubale wotseguka / polyamory. Komabe, zimapitilira f ck izi modabwitsa, zidapangitsa khungu langa kukwawa.

Yay yopezera mphamvu zakugonana, koma boo pakupanga osakwatirana kumawoneka ngati maubwenzi "ocheperapo", omwe amangochitidwa ndi mabanja osasangalala omwe amangoyesera kukhala ndi "okwanira."

Izi zimandifikitsa pachiwonetsero chimodzi: Phwando logonana lomwe Billie ndi Cooper amakhalapo ndi abwenzi awo a Greenwich, Trina ndi Devon.

Onani, abwenzi awo sali okwatirana okhaokha - makamaka, ali pabanja lotseguka. Amapita kumaphwando ogonana. Zili bwino, koma Cooper ndi Billie alibe bizinesi yopita ku phwando lachiwerewere. Billie amafuna kukhala ndi kugonana kodabwitsa koma wakhala akutero pokhudzana ndi ubale wa mwamuna mmodzi. Pakali pano, ubale wake uli pamavuto. Maphwando azakugonana ndi a maanja omwe ali osangalala, otetezeka, komanso ofufuza zogonana. Ndi za maanja omwe akufuna kuwona zakugonana ndi ena - osati kwa iwo omwe akufuna kuyesa kuthana ndi vuto pakati pawo.

Chokhacho chomwe Trina ndi Devon amalakwitsa ndikubweretsa Billie ndi Cooper kuphwandoko osakhudzidwiratu. Izi zati, simungayembekezere banja losasintha lomwe limasinthana kudziwa momwe angayendere madzi ovutawa. Sali akatswiri azakugonana.

Cooper amapeza vuto kuchokera kwa Trina chifukwa zikuwoneka kuti Trina akuganiza kuti izi ziwathandiza kuti azisangalala paphwandopo. Billie amasokonezeka, zomwe zimachitika ngati si kupanikizana kwanu, ndipo simunakonzekere bwino kupita kuphwando lachiwerewere. Devon amayesa kumenya Billie (ndipo mosakayikira akukankhira patali kwambiri, FTR). Kenako Cooper amanyoza Trina (ponena kuti ndi slut - wabwino, Cooper) ndipo amalimbana ndi Devon.

Ndiloleni ndifotokoze momveka bwino: Devon ndi Trina sanali omwe amachita ngati opusa, Billie ndi Cooper adachita ngati opusa. Kanemayo amayesa kupanga Devon ndi Trina kuti aziwoneka ngati opusa pomwe kwenikweni akuchita zinthu zabwinobwino zomwe maanja ambiri amachita.

Momwemo, Billie ndi Cooper amakhala m'malo abwino, athanzi muubwenzi wawo momwe anali okonzeka kugonana ndi anthu ena. Zimatengera kukhulupirirana kwambiri ndi malire kuti mupite ku phwando lachiwerewere osakhala ndi nkhawa - ndichinthu chofunikira kwambiri chomwe chimaonedwa kuti ndi chovuta kwambiri pagulu. Izi zikadakhala zokumana nazo zabwino ngati mikhalidwe yaukwati wawo idali yolimba, osati pafupi kutha. Uku ndikulakwitsa komwe maanja ambiri amapanga: Amaganiza kuti kutsegulira chibwenziko "kukonza" zovuta zawo, pomwe zingatheke (ndiponso) kuziwonjezera, zomwe zitha kupangitsa kuti banja lithe. (Onani: Momwe Mungakhalire Ndi Ubwenzi Wapoyenera Wokhalitsa)

Mfundo yakuti kulankhula kwa Cooper (pa sukulu ya ana awo World Fair usiku, osati zochepa) za momwe iye ndi Billie amaima mwamphamvu ndi kukondana wina ndi mzake "zimalimbikitsa" Devon kuti atseke ubale wake ndi Trina ndizokhumudwitsa molunjika, osati chinachake chokondwerera. Kugonana kwa Trina kwatsekedwa chifukwa chiwonetserochi ndi omwe akutchulidwa nawo kwambiri akutsutsa lingaliro loti kukwatiwa ndi "kwabwino" komanso momwe anthu omwe ali ndi ana "akuyenera kukhalira."

Kunena zowona, osakwatirana okha atha kugwira ntchito kwa maanja omwe ali ndi machitidwe olimba, osakwatirana omwe amayang'ana njira zosiyanasiyana zofufuzira zogonana kuti onse awiri akhale okhutira ndikukwaniritsidwa - koma koposa pamenepo.

Kuchita ngati bulu sizolimbikitsa kugonana. Zimangochita ngati bulu.

Mverani, mphamvu ya atsikana, azimayi akutenga zawo, agone modabwitsa, ndikudumphadumpha - awa ndi mitu yomwe ndingathe kumbuyo. Koma sitingatchule zonse zomwe Billie amachita "kulimbikitsa kugonana."

Amawonekera pakhomo la nyumba yam'mbuyomu (atatha kumaliza masewera a mwana wake?!). Mawu a wofotokozerayo (omwe ndi Billie muwonetsero), akulankhula mwamphamvu, mawu okondwa za "kufuna zonse" ndi "kuzifuna tsopano." Akuwonekera, zitseko za chikepe zimatseguka ndipo akuti: "Izi sizisintha kanthu. Sindikusiya mwamuna wanga. Tsopano, ndithandizeni."

Nyengo ikutha.

Zomwe owonetsa (ndiyenera kukhulupirira, ndiyeneradi KUYENERA) anali kuyesera kufotokoza ndikuti akazi AKHOZA kukhala nazo zonse - 180 zenizeni, poganizira chiwonetsero chonsecho chimatanthauzira "chikondi chenicheni" monga kukhala ndi mkazi mmodzi komanso kudzipereka kwathunthu kwa munthu m'modzi yekha .

Lingaliro langa? Nyengo yachiwiri ikhala yokhudza Billie ndi Cooper kutsegula ubale wawo. Ndimadana nanu kuti ndikusokonezeni - chonde ndikhululukireni ma caps onse chifukwa ndakwiya: SIZOLEMBEDWA ULEMBA UTHENGA UTHENGA.

Simuyenera kungothawa ndikunyengana ndi amuna anu kenako ndikutsegulanso chibwenzicho ngati njira ina "yopangira ntchito." Maubwenzi otseguka amatha kugwira ntchito ndikukhalabe ndi moyo ngati onse awiri ali ndi 100 peresenti ndipo akufuna. Zitha kukhala zodabwitsa komanso zokhutiritsa ngati maubwenzi a mkazi mmodzi. Ubale uliwonse umagwira ntchito mosiyanasiyana komanso m'njira yakeyake. Palibe kalembedwe ka ubale wabwino kuposa wina aliyense bola ngati pali malire ndi kulumikizana. (Onani: Zinthu 6 Zomwe Anthu Amodzi Amodzi Angaphunzire Pamaubwenzi Otseguka)

Koma izi ndizosiyana kwenikweni ndi zomwe zikuchitika muwonetsero. Sachita chilichonse kusintha zinthu m'banja lake. Patatha miyezi ingapo azindikira kuti "akusintha ma code," (aka anthu akasintha umunthu wawo kutengera anthu, gulu, kapena mnzake) monga momwe aliri - atapatsidwa mphamvu - mnzake Sasha akuyika. (Sasha ndi woipa wathunthu pogonana komanso m'maphunziro, koma iyi ndi nkhani yatsiku lina.) M'malo mopita kwa Cooper, kufunafuna chithandizo, kapena kuyesa kuchita zoyenera yekha ndi bwenzi lake, Billie m'malo mwake amasankha kutenga njira yosavuta pamene wina samakwaniritsidwa pogonana: Kubera.

Tiyenera kusiya kunamizira kuti azimayi omwe amachita zinthu zonyozeka amawapanga "badass" powakulunga ndikunyamula kwachikazi. Tiyenera kuyang'ana zochita zawo. Ndipo pankhaniyi: Sizabwino. Amakhala ngati bulu. Pepani, zinayenera kunenedwa. Ngati tidasinthana ndi maudindo ndipo Cooper adathamangira kwa Francesca (bwana wake yemwe adamutsimikizira kuti amamukonda) kuti akwaniritse zosowa zake, titha kuganiza kuti: Amayamwa! Sindikukhulupirira kuti timamukonda!

Moona mtima, palibe chotsalira choti tinene. Tiyeni tiwone zomwe zimachitika mu Gawo lachiwiri. Mwina abweranso kudzakonza zovuta zonsezi ... koma ndikuwona kuti sizokayikitsa.

Ndipo kuti mungotenga izi pa mbiri: Pazithunzi zaku 3? Kukula sizinthu zonse.

Gigi Engle ndi katswiri wodziwa zakugonana komanso wolemba All The F * cking Zolakwitsa: Kuwongolera Kugonana, Chikondi, ndi Moyo. Tsatirani iye pa Instagram ndi Twitter pa @GigiEngle.

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