'Khalani Osangalala' Si Upangiri Wabwino Kwa Anthu Odwala Matenda. Pano pali Chifukwa

Zamkati

• Chikhalidwe chokhazikika: Chifukwa zitha kukhala zoyipa, sichoncho?
• Ndife zolengedwa zam'maganizo, zomwe zimatha kukhala ndi malingaliro osiyanasiyana. Komabe, zomwe zimawoneka kuti ndizabwino (kapena ngakhale zovomerezeka) ndizochepa kwambiri.
• Matenda osatha sangathe kukumana nawo ndikumwetulira nthawi zonse
• Ndipo mwanjira imeneyi, anthu omwe ali ndi matenda osachiritsika ngati anga sangapambane. Pachikhalidwe chomwe chimafuna kuti tikumane ndi matenda osachiritsika, timafunsidwa kuti tikane umunthu wathu pobisa zowawa zathu ndimkhalidwe "wokhoza kuchita" ndikumwetulira.
• 'Soyenera kudya anthu'
• Ndakhala ndikumanena ndi ena kale kuti "Sizosangalatsa kuyankhula nanu nthawi zonse mukamadandaula za thanzi lanu," pomwe ena adanenanso kuti ine ndi matenda anga "ndizovuta kwambiri kuthana nawo."
• Timaloledwa kukhala eni eni tokha
• Ndikungofuna kuti ndikhale ndi malingaliro osiyanasiyana, kukhala otseguka komanso obiriwira, ndikukhala bwino.

“Kodi munaganizapo za zinthu zabwino zonse zomwe zikuchitika m'moyo wanu?” Katswiri wanga anandifunsa.

Ndidalimbana pang'ono ndi mawu amzanga. Osati chifukwa ndimaganiza kuti kuthokoza pazabwino m'moyo wanga sichinali choyipa, koma chifukwa zidasokoneza zovuta zonse zomwe ndimamva.

Ndimalankhula naye za matenda anga osachiritsika komanso momwe zimakhudzira kukhumudwa kwanga - ndipo mayankho ake amandimva kukhala opanda pake, kunena pang'ono.

Sanali munthu woyamba kunena izi kwa ine - ngakhale woyamba dokotala. Koma nthawi iliyonse wina akaganiza kuti chiyembekezo ndichothetsera mavuto anga, zimangokhala ngati zandigunda.

Ndakhala muofesi yake ndidayamba kudzifunsa kuti: Mwinamwake ndiyenera kukhala wotsimikiza za izi? Mwinamwake sindiyenera kudandaula za zinthu izi? Mwina sizoyipa monga momwe ndikuganizira?

Mwinamwake malingaliro anga akuipitsa zonsezi?

Chikhalidwe chokhazikika: Chifukwa zitha kukhala zoyipa, sichoncho?

Tikukhala mu chikhalidwe chodzaza chiyembekezo.

Pakati pa memes kutulutsa mauthenga amatanthauza kukweza ("Moyo wanu umangokhala bwinoko pamene inu khala bwino! ” "Kusasamala: Kuchotsa"), zokambirana pa intaneti zotamanda zabwino zakukhala ndi chiyembekezo, komanso mabuku ambiri othandizira kuti tisankhe, tazunguliridwa ndi zomwe tikufuna kukhala otsimikiza.

Ndife zolengedwa zam'maganizo, zomwe zimatha kukhala ndi malingaliro osiyanasiyana. Komabe, zomwe zimawoneka kuti ndizabwino (kapena ngakhale zovomerezeka) ndizochepa kwambiri.

Kukhala ndi nkhope yosangalala ndikuwonetsa kusangalala kudziko lapansi - ngakhale mutakumana ndi zovuta kwambiri - kumayamikiridwa. Anthu omwe amapyola nthawi zovuta ndikumwetulira amayamikiridwa chifukwa cha kulimba mtima kwawo.

Mosiyana ndi izi, anthu omwe amafotokoza zakukhosi kwawo, kukhumudwa, kukhumudwa, mkwiyo, kapena chisoni - zonse zomwe zimachitika munthu - nthawi zambiri amakumana ndi ndemanga zakuti "zitha kukhala zoyipa kwambiri" kapena "mwina zingathandize kusintha malingaliro anu za izi."

Chikhalidwe chabwinochi chimasunthira kumalingaliro azaumoyo wathu, nanunso.

Timauzidwa kuti ngati tili ndi malingaliro abwino, tidzachira mwachangu. Kapenanso, ngati tikudwala, ndi chifukwa cha kusasamala komwe timayika mdziko lapansi ndipo tiyenera kuzindikira mphamvu zathu.

Imakhala ntchito yathu, monga anthu odwala, kudzipangitsa kukhala athanzi kudzera pazabwino zathu, kapena kungokhala ndi malingaliro osatha pazomwe tikukumana nazo - ngakhale zitanthauza kubisa zomwe tikumvadi.

Ndikuvomereza kuti ndagula mu malingaliro ambiri. Ndidawerenga mabuku ndikuphunzira za chinsinsi chowonetsera zabwino m'moyo wanga, kuti ndisatulutse thukuta, komanso momwe ndingakhalire badass. Ndakhala nawo pamisonkhano yokhudza kuwona zonse zomwe ndikufuna kukhalapo ndikumvera ma podcast posankha chisangalalo.

Nthawi zambiri ndimawona zabwino mwa anthu ndi anthu, yang'anani zokongoletsa zasiliva m'malo osasangalatsa, ndikuwona galasi lili theka lodzaza. Koma, ngakhale zonsezi, ndikudwalabe.

Ndili ndi masiku omwe ndimamva kutengeka kulikonse m'bukuli kupatula zabwino. Ndipo ndikufuna kuti zikhale bwino.

Matenda osatha sangathe kukumana nawo ndikumwetulira nthawi zonse

Ngakhale chikhalidwe chachitetezo chimalimbikitsa komanso chothandiza, kwa ife omwe tili ndi zolemala ndi matenda osachiritsika, zitha kukhala zowopsa.

Ndikakhala patsiku lachitatu lodzidzimutsa - pomwe sindingathe kuchita chilichonse koma kulira ndikugwedezeka chifukwa ma meds samatha kukhudza ululu, phokoso la nthawi mchipinda chotsatira likumva zowawa, ndipo paka ubweya pakhungu langa umapweteka - ndimadzipeza ndataika.

Ndikulimbana ndi zizindikilo za matenda anga aakulu, komanso kudziimba mlandu komanso kudzimva kulephera komwe kumalumikizidwa ndi njira zomwe ndasinthira mauthenga azikhalidwe zabwino.

Ndipo mwanjira imeneyi, anthu omwe ali ndi matenda osachiritsika ngati anga sangapambane. Pachikhalidwe chomwe chimafuna kuti tikumane ndi matenda osachiritsika, timafunsidwa kuti tikane umunthu wathu pobisa zowawa zathu ndimkhalidwe "wokhoza kuchita" ndikumwetulira.

Chikhalidwe chosungira zinthu nthawi zambiri chimakhala ndi zida ngati njira yodziimba mlandu anthu omwe ali ndi matenda osachiritsika pamavuto awo, omwe ambiri a ife timangopitilira.

Nthawi zambiri zomwe sindingathe kuziwerenga, ndadzifunsa ndekha. Kodi ndidadzibweretsa ndekha? Kodi ndikungokhala ndi malingaliro oipa? Ndikadasinkhasinkha zambiri, ndikanena zinthu zokoma mtima kwa ine ndekha, kapena ndikaganiza malingaliro abwino, ndikadakhalabe pano pakama pano?

Ndikawona Facebook yanga ndi mzanga atalemba meme za mphamvu yakukhala ndi chiyembekezo, kapena ndikawona wondithandizira ndipo akundiuza kuti ndilembere zinthu zabwino m'moyo wanga, kudzikayikira ndikudziimba mlandu amangolimbikitsidwa.

'Soyenera kudya anthu'

Matenda osachiritsika kale ndichinthu chodzipatula, pomwe anthu ambiri samamvetsetsa zomwe mukukumana nazo, komanso nthawi yonse yomwe mumagona kapena ogona kunyumba. Ndipo chowonadi ndichakuti, chikhalidwe chachitetezo chimawonjezera kudzipatula kwa matenda osachiritsika, ndikuwakulitsa.

Nthawi zambiri ndimakhala ndi nkhawa kuti ndikafotokoza zenizeni zomwe ndikukumana nazo - ngati ndikalankhula zakumva kuwawa, kapena ndikanena momwe ndakhumudwitsidwira pakukhala pabedi - ndidzaweruzidwa.

Ndakhala ndikumanena ndi ena kale kuti "Sizosangalatsa kuyankhula nanu nthawi zonse mukamadandaula za thanzi lanu," pomwe ena adanenanso kuti ine ndi matenda anga "ndizovuta kwambiri kuthana nawo."

Masiku anga ovuta kwambiri, ndinayamba kusiya anthu. Ndinkangokhala chete osalola aliyense kudziwa zomwe ndinkakumana nazo, kupatula omwe anali pafupi kwambiri ndi ine, monga mnzanga ndi mwana wanga.

Ngakhale kwa iwo, komabe, nditha kunena nthabwala kuti sindinali "woyenera kudya anthu," kuyesa kusunga nthabwala kwinaku ndikuwadziwitsa kuti mwina ndibwino kungondisiya.

Zowona, ndidachita manyazi ndi mkhalidwe wamavuto womwe ndinali nawo. Ndikadalowetsa mkati mwawo uthenga wazikhalidwe zabwino. Masiku omwe matenda anga amakhala ovuta kwambiri, sindimatha kuyika "nkhope yosangalala" kapena kusangalala ndi zomwe zikuchitika ndi ine.

Ndinaphunzira kubisa mkwiyo wanga, chisoni, ndi kusowa chiyembekezo. Ndipo ndidagwiritsitsa lingaliro loti "kusasamala" kwanga kumandipangitsa kukhala cholemetsa, m'malo mokhala munthu.

Timaloledwa kukhala eni eni tokha

Sabata yatha, ndimagona pabedi masana - magetsi azimitsidwa, ndikudzipukuta ndi mpira ndikulira mwakachetechete. Ndinkamva kuwawa, ndipo ndinali wokhumudwa chifukwa chovulala, makamaka ndikaganiza zogona pabedi patsiku lomwe ndidakonzekera kwambiri.

Koma panali kusintha komwe kunandichitikira, kosawoneka bwino kwambiri, pomwe mnzanga amalowa kuti andione ndikundifunsa zomwe ndimafuna. Anandimvetsera ndikamawauza zonse zomwe ndimamva ndikundigwira ndikulira.

Atachoka, sindinamve kuti ndili ndekhandekha, ndipo ngakhale kuti ndinali ndikumapwetekabe ndikudzimva wotsika, mwanjira ina ndinamva kuti ndikhoza kuyendetsedwa.

Nthawi imeneyi inali ngati chikumbutso chofunikira. Nthawi zomwe ndimakonda kudzipatula ndizo komanso nthawi zomwe ndimafunikira okondedwa anga pafupi kwambiri - pomwe zomwe ndikufuna, koposa zonse, ndikuti ndikhale owona mtima momwe ndimamvera.

Nthawi zina zomwe ndimangofuna ndikakhala ndikulira bwino ndikudandaula kwa wina za momwe zimakhalira - wina kuti azingokhala ndi ine ndikuwona zomwe ndikukumana nazo.

Sindikufuna kukhala wotsimikiza, komanso sindikufuna wina wondilimbikitsa kuti ndisinthe malingaliro anga.

Ndikungofuna kuti ndikhale ndi malingaliro osiyanasiyana, kukhala otseguka komanso obiriwira, ndikukhala bwino.

Ndikugwirabe ntchito kumasula pang'onopang'ono mauthenga omwe chikhalidwe chazomwe chakhazikika mwa ine. Ndiyenerabe kudzikumbutsa ndekha kuti ndibwino komanso ndibwino kuti musakhale ndi chiyembekezo nthawi zonse.

Zomwe ndazindikira, komabe, ndikuti ndimakhala wathanzi kwambiri - mwakuthupi ndi mwamalingaliro - ndikadzipatsa chilolezo kuti ndimve kutengeka kwathunthu, ndikudzizungulira ndi anthu omwe amandithandizira.

Chikhalidwe ichi chosatha sichisintha mwadzidzidzi. Koma ndikulakalaka kuti, nthawi ina wothandizira kapena mnzanga yemwe adzandifunse zabwino atandifunsa kuti ndiyang'ane pazabwino, ndipeza kulimba mtima kutchula zomwe ndikufuna.

Chifukwa aliyense wa ife, makamaka pamene tikulimbana, akuyenera kukhala ndi malingaliro athu onse komanso zomwe takumana nazo zomwe zidachitiridwa umboni - ndipo sizimatipangitsa kukhala cholemetsa. Izi zimatipangitsa kukhala anthu.

Angie Ebba ndi wojambula wolumala yemwe amaphunzitsa zokambirana ndikumachita mdziko lonse. Angie amakhulupirira mphamvu zaluso, zolemba, komanso magwiridwe antchito kuti zitithandizire kudzimvetsetsa tokha, kumanga gulu, ndikusintha. Mutha kupeza Angie patsamba lake, blog yake, kapena Facebook.