Kin ndi Mania: Mgwirizano Umene Ndikumva Ndi Anthu Ena Okhala Ndi Bipolar Ndi Wosamveka

Zamkati

• Yokha, palimodzi
• Nkhani yomwe ndikunena
• Choyang'ana
• M'bale
• Misala yabanja

Timaphatikizapo zinthu zomwe timaganiza kuti ndizothandiza kwa owerenga athu. Ngati mutagula maulalo omwe ali patsamba lino, titha kupeza ndalama zochepa. Nayi njira yathu.

Anasuntha ngati ine. Ndizomwe ndidazindikira poyamba. Maso ake ndi manja ake amapita pomwe amalankhula - kusewera, kuweruka, kukwiya.

Tidalankhula 2 koloko m'mawa, amalankhula mopumira, akumangoyang'ana ndi malingaliro. Anatenganso kugunda kuja ndikundibwezera pa bedi logona, mchimwene wanga atagona pa bondo langa.

Achibale omwe adalekanitsidwa pobadwa amayenera kumva motere mukakumana ndi akulu: kuwona gawo lanu mwa munthu wina. Mkazi uyu amene ndimutche Ella anali ndi zizolowezi zanga, zopusa, ndi ukali, kotero kuti ndimamva kuti ndife pachibale. Kuti tiyenera kugawana nawo majini wamba.

Nkhani yathu idapita kulikonse. Kuchokera ku hip hop kupita ku Foucault, Lil Wayne, mpaka kusintha kwa ndende, malingaliro a Ella adalumikizidwa. Mawu ake anali amphamvu. Amakonda zokangana ndipo amawasankha kuti azisangalala, monga momwe ndimachitira. M'chipinda chamdima, ngati magetsi adamangiriridwa kumiyendo yake, amakhoza kuvina. Momwemonso iye, mozungulira suite yomwe adagawana ndi mchimwene wanga, ndipo pambuyo pake, pamtengo patebulo la kalabu ya pasukulupo.

Mnzanga wa mchimwene wanga adandipatsa mpata woti ndidziwe za ndekha. Ndidamupeza Ella akusangalatsa, koma wotopetsa - wowala koma wosasamala, wogwidwa. Ndinadabwa, mantha, ngati ndi momwe anthu amandifunira. Malingaliro ena a Ella amawoneka ngati okakamira, zochita zake mopitirira muyeso, monga kuvina wamaliseche pakobiriwira koleji kapena kuthamangitsa magalimoto apolisi. Komabe, mutha kumudalira kuti adzachita chibwenzi. Kuti muchitepo kanthu.

Anali ndi malingaliro, kapena kumverera, pazonse. Ankawerenga kwambiri ndipo analibe mantha. Iye anali ndi maginito.Zinandidabwitsa kuti mchimwene wanga anali wamtima wapansi, wogwira ntchito, komanso wosagwirizana, anali kumvana bwino ndi Ella, yemwe anali wamakhalidwe abwino, waluso komanso wopanda nkhawa.

Palibe aliyense wa ife amene anadziwa kuti usiku womwewo ndinakumana ndi Ella ku Princeton, koma pasanathe zaka ziwiri iye ndi ine tidzagawana china chake: kukhala mchipatala cha amisala, madokotala, ndi matenda omwe tikadakhala nawo kwa moyo wathu wonse.

Yokha, palimodzi

Odwala matenda amisala ndi othawa kwawo. Kutali ndi kwathu, kumva chilankhulo cha amayi anu kumakhala kosangalatsa. Anthu omwe ali ndi vuto losinthasintha zochitika akakumana, timapeza ubale wapamtima, mgwirizano. Timagawana nawo zowawa komanso zosangalatsa. Ella amadziwa moto wosakhazikika womwe ndi nyumba yanga.

Timasangalatsa anthu, kapena timawakhumudwitsa. Ndiyo njira yachisoni-yachisoni. Makhalidwe athu, monga chisangalalo, kuyendetsa, ndi kutseguka, timakopa ndikusintha nthawi imodzi. Ena amalimbikitsidwa ndi chidwi chathu, chilengedwe chathu chodziika pachiwopsezo. Ena amakopeka ndi mphamvu, kudzikonda, kapena mikangano yomwe ingawononge maphwando amadzulo. Tikuledzera, ndipo ndife osakwanira.

Chifukwa chake timakhala osungulumwa wamba: kulimbana kuti tidutse tokha. Manyazi oyenera kuyesa.

Anthu omwe ali ndi vuto losinthasintha zochitika amadzipha nthawi zambiri kuposa anthu athanzi. Sindikuganiza kuti izi zimangokhala chifukwa cha kusinthasintha kwa malingaliro, koma chifukwa mitundu ya manic nthawi zambiri imasokoneza miyoyo yawo. Ngati mumachitira anthu zoipa, sangafune kukhala pafupi nanu. Titha kuthana ndi malingaliro athu osasinthasintha, kupsa mtima kwathu, kapena chidwi chathu, chiyembekezo chodzikonda. Kukondwera kwa manic sikungokhala kopatula kupsinjika. Ngati mukukhulupirira kuti moyo wanu wachikoka ndi zozizwitsa, ndizosavuta kukayikira kuti chikondi chilipo. Zathu ndi kusungulumwa kwapadera.

Komabe anthu ena - monga mchimwene wanga, yemwe ali ndi abwenzi angapo omwe ali ndi vutoli, komanso azimayi omwe ndakhala nawo pachibwenzi - samadandaula za bipolarity. Mtundu wamtunduwu umakopeka ndi chattiness, mphamvu, chibwenzi chomwe chimakhala chanzeru kwa anthu omwe ali ndi matenda osinthasintha zochitika monga momwe sangathe kuwalamulira. Chikhalidwe chathu chopanda malire chimathandiza anthu ena osungika kutsegula. Timayambitsa mitundu ina yofewa, ndipo amatipatsanso bata.

Anthu awa ndi abwino kwa wina ndi mnzake, monga anglerfish ndi mabakiteriya omwe amawapangitsa kuyaka. Hafu ya manic imapangitsa kuti zinthu zisunthire, zimayambitsa mkangano, zimakwiya. Hafu yodekha, yothandiza kwambiri imasunga mapulani okhazikika mdziko lenileni, kunja kwa Technicolor insides of a bipolar mind.

Nkhani yomwe ndikunena

Nditamaliza maphunziro anga kukoleji, ndidakhala zaka zambiri kumidzi yakumidzi ku Japan ndikuphunzitsa sukulu ya pulaimale. Pafupifupi zaka khumi pambuyo pake ku New York, brunch ndi mzanga adasintha momwe ndidawonera masiku amenewo.

Mnyamatayo, ndidzamutcha Jim, anagwiranso ntchito yomweyo ku Japan, ndikuphunzitsa pasukulu zomwezo. Chikhali, Ndinkamuitana m'Chijapani, kutanthauza m'bale wamkulu. Ophunzira, aphunzitsi, ndi anthu amatauni amafotokoza nkhani za Jim kulikonse komwe ndimapita. Anali nthano: konsati ya rock yomwe adachita, masewera ake opumira, nthawi yomwe adavala ngati Harry Potter wa Halowini.

Jim anali tsogolo langa lomwe ndimafuna kukhala. Asanakumane nane, adakhala moyo wamonaki uyu kumidzi yaku Japan. Adadzaza zolembera ndi machitidwe a kanji - mzere pambuyo pamzera wodwala wa otchulidwa. Ankasunga mndandanda wa mawu watsiku ndi tsiku pachikalata cholozera m'thumba mwake. Jim ndi ine tonse timakonda nthano komanso nyimbo. Tidali ndi chidwi ndi anime. Tonse tinaphunzira Chijapani kuyambira pachiyambi, pakati pa malo olima mpunga, mothandizidwa ndi ophunzira athu. Kudera la Okayama, tonse tidakondana ndipo mitima yathu idasweka ndi atsikana omwe adakula mwachangu kuposa ife.

Tinalinso olimbikira pang'ono, Jim ndi ine. Okhulupirika mokhulupirika, titha kukhalanso ogawikana, olimba mtima, komanso oziziritsa mtima m'njira zomwe zimawongolera ubale wathu. Tikakhala pachibwenzi, tinali otomerana kwambiri. Koma pamene tinali m'mitu yathu, tinali padziko lapansi lakutali, losafikirika.

Ku brunch m'mawa womwewo ku New York, Jim amafunsabe za nkhani yolembedwa ndi mbuye wanga. Ndidamuuza kuti ndimalemba za lithiamu, mankhwala omwe amachiza mania. Ndati lithiamu ndi mchere, wokumbidwa m'migodi ku Bolivia, komabe imagwira ntchito molondola kuposa mankhwala aliwonse olimbikitsa mtima. Ndidamuuza momwe kupsinjika kwa manic kumakhala kosangalatsa: matenda owopsa, osachiritsika omwe ndi episodic, obwereza, komanso, mwapadera, ochiritsika. Anthu omwe ali ndi matenda amisala omwe ali pachiwopsezo chachikulu chodzipha, akatenga lithiamu, nthawi zambiri samayambiranso kwazaka zambiri.

Jim, amene tsopano ndi wolemba nkhani, ankangokakamira. "Nkhani yake ndi yotani?" Adafunsa. "Nkhani yake ndi yotani?"

"Chabwino," ndinatero, "Ndili ndi vuto lamavuto m'banja langa…"

“Ndiye mukugwiritsa ntchito nkhani ya ndani?”

"Tilipire ndalama," ndinatero, "Ndikukuwuzani tikupita."

Choyang'ana

Sayansi yayamba kuyang'ana matenda osokoneza bongo kudzera mu mawonekedwe a umunthu. Amapasa ndi mabanja akuwonetsa kuti kukhumudwa kwa manic kumakhala pafupifupi 85%. Koma palibe kusintha kamodzi komwe kumadziwika kuti kumayambitsa vutoli. Nthawi zambiri muziyang'ana kwambiri pamakhalidwe: kuyankhula, kutseguka, kusakhudzidwa.

Makhalidwe amenewa nthawi zambiri amawoneka pachibale choyambirira cha anthu omwe ali ndi vuto losinthasintha zochitika. Iwo ali malingaliro a chifukwa chake "majini oopsa" a vutoli amayendetsedwa m'mabanja, ndipo sanasudzulidwe ndi kusankha kwachilengedwe. Mlingo woyenera, mikhalidwe ngati kuyendetsa, mphamvu yayikulu, ndi malingaliro osiyana ndizothandiza.

Olemba ku Iowa Writers 'Workshop, monga Kurt Vonnegut, anali ndi ziwopsezo zazikulu kuposa kuchuluka kwa anthu, kafukufuku wina wakale adapeza. Oimba jazz a Bebop, otchuka kwambiri a Charlie Parker, Thelonius Monk, ndi Charles Mingus, nawonso ali ndi vuto lamaganizidwe, nthawi zambiri amakhala osokonezeka maganizo. (Nyimbo ya Parker "Relaxin 'ku Camarillo" ikukhudza kukhala kwawo ku California. Monk ndi Mingus onse adagonekedwa mchipatala.) Buku "Kukhudzidwa ndi Moto" wolemba zamaganizidwe Kay Redfield Jamison adadziwunikiranso ojambula ambiri, olemba ndakatulo, olemba, komanso oimba omwe ali ndi vuto losinthasintha zochitika. Mbiri yake yatsopano, "Robert Lowell: Kuyika Mtsinje Pamoto," ikufotokoza zaluso ndi matenda m'moyo wa wolemba ndakatulo, yemwe adagonekedwa mchipatala nthawi zambiri, ndikuphunzitsa ndakatulo ku Harvard.

Izi sizikutanthauza kuti mania amabweretsa luso. Chomwe chimalimbikitsa mania ndi chisokonezo: kudalira zachinyengo, osati kuzindikira. Mpikisano nthawi zambiri umakhala wochuluka, koma wosakhazikika. Ntchito zaluso zopangidwa ndimunthu wamankhwala, mwa zomwe ndimakumana nazo, zimakhala zongokhalira kunena zamwano, ndikudziyesa kopanda tanthauzo komanso chidwi cha omvera. Sipulumutsidwa kawirikawiri kunyansi.

Zomwe kafukufuku akuwonetsa ndikuti zina mwazomwe zimatchedwa "mikhalidwe yabwino" yamatenda a bipolar - kuyendetsa, kudzipereka, kutseguka - mwa anthu omwe ali ndi vutoli ali bwino komanso akumwa mankhwala. Omwe amatengera zina mwazinthu zomwe zimapangitsa kuti munthu azikhala mwamtendere, koma osakwanira kuyambitsa zovuta, kusinthasintha, kusowa tulo, kapena kusowa mtendere komwe kumafotokoza kukhumudwa kwaumunthu komwe.

M'bale

"Mukundiseka," adatero Jim, akuseka mwamantha, pomwe adandigulira khofi tsiku lomwelo ku New York. Nditatchula koyambirira kuti ndi anthu angati opanga kulengedwa omwe ali ndi vuto lamaganizidwe, adanenanso - ndikuseka chammbali - kuti andiuze zambiri za zomwe adakumana nazo. Sindinafunse zomwe amatanthauza. Koma tikukwera timadoko pafupifupi 30 kupita ku Penn Station kuchokera ku Bond Street, adandiuza za chaka chawo chatha.

Choyamba, panali zolumikizana ndi akazi anzawo. Kenako nsapato adadzaza m'chipinda chake ndi: angapo awiriawiri, nsapato zodula. Kenako galimoto yamasewera. Ndi kumwa. Ndipo ngozi yagalimoto. Ndipo tsopano, miyezi ingapo yapitayi, kukhumudwa: anhedonia-lathyathyathya lomwe limamveka bwino ndikumaziziritsa msana. Iye anali atawona kuchepa. Amamufuna kuti amwe mankhwala, akuti anali ndi matenda ochititsa munthu kusinthasintha zochitika. Amakhala akukana chizindikirocho. Izi zimadziwikanso: Ndidapewa lithiamu kwa zaka ziwiri. Ndinayesa kumuuza kuti akhala bwino.

Zaka zingapo pambuyo pake, kanema watsopano wa TV adabweretsa Jim ku New York. Anandipempha kuti tichite masewera a baseball. Tidawona a Mets, ngati, pamasamba otentha komanso mowa komanso kuyankhula pafupipafupi. Ndidadziwa kuti pamsonkhano wake wachisanu ndi chiwiri waku koleji, Jim adalumikizananso ndi mnzake wakale mnzake wam'kalasi. Pasanapite nthawi, anayamba chibwenzi. Sanamuuze poyamba kuti anaikidwa m'manda atapanikizika. Anaphunzira posachedwa, ndipo adawopa kuti achoka. Ndinkamulembera Jim maimelo panthawiyi, ndikumulimbikitsa kuti asadandaule. "Ndikumvetsetsa," ndidalimbikira, "Amatikonda nthawi zonse chifukwa cha momwe tilili, ngakhale tili otero."

Jim adandiuza nkhani pamasewera: mphete, inde. Ndinajambula tchuthi chaukwati ku Japan. Ndipo ndikuyembekeza, mu ichi naponso, kuti sempai anali atandipatsa chithunzithunzi cha tsogolo langa.

Misala yabanja

Kudziwona wekha mwa wina ndikofala mokwanira. Ngati muli ndi vuto losinthasintha zochitika, malingaliro awa akhoza kukhala achilendo kwambiri, monga momwe zikhalidwe zina zomwe mumawona zingafanane nanu ngati zala.

Umunthu wanu umatengera kwambiri, monga kapangidwe ka mafupa ndi kutalika. Mphamvu ndi zolakwika zomwe zimalumikizidwa nthawi zambiri zimakhala mbali ziwiri za ndalama imodzi: kufunitsitsa kokhala ndi nkhawa, chidwi chomwe chimadza ndi kusatetezeka. Inu, monga ife, ndinu ovuta, okhala ndi zovuta zobisika.

Zomwe zimayenda m'magazi aipidala si themberero koma umunthu. Mabanja omwe ali ndimitengo yayikulu yamatenda kapena matenda amisala, nthawi zambiri, ndi mabanja opambana kwambiri, opanga luso. Anthu omwe nthawi zambiri amakhala ndi ma IQ apamwamba kuposa anthu wamba. Izi sizikukana kuzunzika ndi kudzipha komwe kumayambitsidwabe ndi matendawa mwa anthu omwe samayankha ma lithiamu, kapena iwo omwe ali ndi comorbidities, omwe amayenda bwino kwambiri. Kapena kuchepetsa kulimbana komwe akukumana nako ndi mwayi, monga ine, kuti ndikhululukidwe pakalipano. Koma ndikuwonetsa kuti matenda amisala, nthawi zambiri, amawoneka ngati obwera chifukwa cha mikhalidwe yayikulu yomwe nthawi zambiri imakhala yabwino.

Ndikamakumana ndi ambiri, ndimadzimva kuti ndikusintha. Momwe anzanga amaganizira, kulankhula, komanso kuchita, ndimadziona. Iwo sali otopa. Osakhutira. Amachita. Banja lawo ndilonyadira kukhala nawo: chidwi, kuyendetsa, kuthamangitsa mwamphamvu, kusamalira kwambiri.

Taylor Beck ndi wolemba ku Brooklyn. Asanachitike utolankhani, adagwira ntchito m'malabu akuphunzira kukumbukira, kugona, kulota, ndi ukalamba. Lumikizanani naye ku @ taylorbeck216.