Kukulitsa Kupirira Kwamtunduwu Kungakuthandizeni Kuti Mukwaniritse Kukula Kwakukulu Kwaumwini

Zamkati

• Tengani Chiwonetsero Chatsopano
• Yesetsani Kukhala Aukhondo Mumtima
• Pitani Patsogolo
• Onaninso za

Monga chomera chomwe chikukula pamiyala, mutha kupeza njira yolumikizana ndi zopinga zilizonse zomwe mukukumana nazo ndikuwunika dzuwa. Mphamvu yochitira izi imabwera chifukwa chotengera khalidwe lapadera lotchedwa transformative resilience.

Kulimba mtima kwachikhalidwe ndikukhala ndi grit ndi kupirira komanso kupitilira, koma mtundu wosinthika umapita patsogolo. "Ndikutha kuthana ndi zovuta m'moyo ndi zopinga m'mbuyo ndikuphunzira kuchokera kwa iwo ndikuzigwiritsa ntchito ngati chisonkhezero chokula m'njira zatsopano," akutero Ama Marston, katswiri wotsogoza komanso wogwirizira Type R: Transformative Resilience for Kukula M'dziko Lachivundi (Gulani, $ 18, amazon.com). Nkhani yabwino ndiyakuti aliyense angathe kulimbikitsa makhalidwe a Type R. Nayi dongosolo lanu kuti muyambe.

Tengani Chiwonetsero Chatsopano

Kuti muphunzire kuwona zovuta ngati mwayi, muyenera kusintha malingaliro anu, atero a Marston. "Tonse tili ndi mandala omwe timawonera dziko lapansi ndi chilichonse chomwe chimachitika momwemo," akutero. "Zimapanga malingaliro athu, zikhulupiriro, malingaliro, ndi machitidwe. Nthawi zambiri, zitha kukhala zoyipa kuposa momwe timaganizira." (Yokhudzana: Ubwino Wathanzi Labwino Wokhala Wopatsa Mtima vs. Wosakhulupirira)

Kuti mudziwe malingaliro anu ndi chiyani, ganizirani za zovuta zaposachedwa ndi momwe mudazichitira. Nenani kuti munasiya tchuthi chomwe mwakhala mukuchiyembekezera kwa nthawi yayitali. Kodi mwakhala mukukhumudwa ndipo mwakhala mukuvutikira kuchichotsa? Kodi mwafika mozama ndikudziuza kuti momwe zinthu zikuyendera, mwina simungayende kwakanthawi? Malingaliro amenewo adzakukokerani pansi, kukusiyani mukumva chisoni ndi kugonja.

Mukamvetsetsa momwe mumachitira nthawi zovuta, mudzazindikira chizindikirocho, kudziyimitsa, ndikusintha njira ina yabwino yothetsera mavuto, atero a Marston. “M’malo modzifunsa kuti, ‘N’chifukwa chiyani ineyo? “'Ndingachite bwanji mosiyana ndi zimene zingandithandize kukula?’” Mwakutero, zimachoka pa tsoka limene labweretsedwa pa inu kupita ku chinachake chimene mungathe kuchiumba kuti chikhale chopindulitsa.

Pankhani yatchuthi yomwe mwaphonya, mutha kukonza maulendo angapo a sabata pafupi ndi kwanu nthawi yonse yachisanu ndi masika. Pitani ku malo osungirako zachilengedwe omwe mwakhala mukufuna kupitako. Onaninso kutsetsereka pamadzi oundana, kapena lembetsani maphunziro a snowboard pamalo achisangalalo. Mwanjira imeneyo, nthawi zonse mudzakhala ndi chinachake choti muyang'ane ndi kusangalala nacho, ndipo mwinamwake mudzaphunziranso luso latsopano pamene muli.

Yesetsani Kukhala Aukhondo Mumtima

Kukhala wokhoza kusintha ndikusintha njira zothetsera mavuto sikutanthauza kukana zowawa zanu kapena kuthana ndi nkhawa, atero a Marston. "Anthu akukumana ndi zovuta zina pakadali pano, ndipo tikuyenera kuvomereza zomwe takumana nazo kuti athane nawo," akutero. Chinthu choipa chikachitika, lolani kuti mukhale okhumudwa kapena okhumudwa. Pitani kwa abale anu ndi anzanu kuti akuthandizeni ndi kulimbikitsidwa ngati zingathandize. Koma musalole kuti malingaliro olakwika akulepheretseni ndikuyamba. Yendetsani kupitirira iwo, ndipo yesetsani kuti musawunike. (Zokhudzana: Momwe Mungadziwire Zomwe Mumamverera ndi Wheel of Emotions - ndi Chifukwa Chake Muyenera)

Zachidziwikire, zinthu zina monga COVID-19 komanso momwe chuma chilili sitingathe kuzilamulira. Marston anati: “Nthawi zina timafunika kukumbukira zimenezi. "Ndikofunikira kuti tiwone zomwe zikuchitika - makamaka munthawi ino yakusatsimikizika komanso panthawi yamavuto. Sitingayembekezere anthu kuti achite zonse; maukonde achitetezo amayenera kukhalapo. Zomwe tingachite ndikuchitapo kanthu ndikulimbikitsa pazinthu izi. Yang'anani pa zomwe mungathe kuti musinthe. "

Chifukwa chake ngati momwe zinthu ziliri pachuma zikutanthauza kuti sungatsegule buledi wophika womwe wakhala ukulota, upange kukhala gawo lanu mpaka nthawi ikakwana. Yambitsani tsamba la webusayiti ndi akaunti ya Instagram, ndikugulitsa zophika zanu usiku komanso kumapeto kwa sabata. Mupanga maziko a kasitomala ndikupanganso ndalama.

Pitani Patsogolo

"Zomwe timamva nthawi zambiri zikafika pakulimba mtima ndi lingaliro lobwerera," akutero Marston. "Koma chowonadi ndichakuti, nthawi zambiri sitimabweza m'mbuyo chifukwa dziko lapansi limangoyendabe, ndipo ndizovuta kubwerera komwe tinali. Kuphatikiza apo, kafukufuku akuwonetsa kuti tikadutsa china chake chovuta, timasintha ndikukula; khalani momwemo."

Mavuto a chaka chathachi akusonyeza mmene kulili kofunika kwambiri kuti tipite patsogolo. "Kuyang'ana mliriwu komanso zomwe tidakumana nazo monga aliyense payekhapayekha, monga madera, komanso ngati fuko, zatisintha ife m'njira zofunika kwambiri," akutero Marston. "Tinayenera kuzolowera kugwira ntchito kunyumba, kuchotsedwa ntchito, kapena kutayika wokondedwa. Tazindikira kufunika kokonzanso madera athu, machitidwe athu azaumoyo, ndi momwe timachitirana wina ndi mnzake. pamaso pa zinthu izi, tiyenera kuchita zinthu mosiyana. "

Pamunthu wanu, izi zikutanthauza kulingalira malingaliro ena atsopano kuti athane ndi zovuta zanu. Tengani ntchito kuchokera kunyumba, yomwe ikhoza kuyamba kuwononga moyo wanu mukalola. M'malo mokhala pa desiki yanu kwa maola ambiri, pangani nthawi yopuma m'mawa m'masiku anu. Chitani masewera olimbitsa thupi, sinkhasinkhani, kapena tengani kapu ndikuyimbira mnzanu. Madzulo, pitani kokayenda mphindi 20. Usiku, tsekani laputopu yanu ndikusangalala ndi banja lanu. Pogwiritsa ntchito nthawi yopuma, mudzakhala opindulitsa, opanga, komanso opambana - ndikukhala ndi chiyembekezo chantchito yanu komanso tsogolo lanu.

Magazini ya Shape, Januware/February 2021

Onaninso za