Nthano Yachikazi: Tiyeni Tiganizire Zogonana Monga Disneyland

Zamkati

• "Ndipo atabwera, ndinamupatsa zisanu ndi zisanu ndikunena, mmawu a Batman, 'Ntchito yabwino,' 'adatero bwenzi langa, ndikumaliza nkhani yake yoyamba kugonana. Ndinali ndi malingaliro amitundu yonse, koma makamaka, ndimafuna kuti zondichitikira zanga zikhale choncho.
• Kukhulupirira zopusa (komanso zachiwawa) "kuyesa unamwali"
• Kuwonongeka kwa mauthenga osakanikirana
• Kutenga njira ina: Kodi vs.
• “Dziko Lopanda Namwali”: Kodi ndi malo osangalatsa kwambiri padziko lapansi?

"Ndipo atabwera, ndinamupatsa zisanu ndi zisanu ndikunena, mmawu a Batman, 'Ntchito yabwino,' 'adatero bwenzi langa, ndikumaliza nkhani yake yoyamba kugonana. Ndinali ndi malingaliro amitundu yonse, koma makamaka, ndimafuna kuti zondichitikira zanga zikhale choncho.

Ndisanadziwe kuti kugonana ndi chiyani, ndimadziwa kuti pali zinthu zomwe amayi samayenera kuchita kapena asanakwatirane. Ndili mwana, ndinawona "Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls." Pali malo ena omwe mwamunayo amatuluka m'nyumba ndikufuula kuti mkazi wake anali atasokonezedwa kale. Ndili ndi zaka 5, ndidadziwa kuti adachita choipa.

Ndinaphunzira zakugonana kumsasa wa tchalitchi, mwina chifukwa zinali zosavuta kuti makolo anga apatse wina udindo wankhaniyo. M'kalasi lachisanu ndi chitatu, ine ndi anzanga tinaphunzitsidwa za chifukwa chake tiyenera kuyembekezera mpaka ukwati kuti tigone. Mitu inali ndi "Ndinadikirira winawake wapadera ndipo zinali zoyenera" ndi "Momwe Pastor XYZ adadziwira chikondi cha moyo wawo pokhala oyera." Zolinga zabwinozi zidapangitsa malingaliro anga kukhala oipa.

Kukhulupirira zopusa (komanso zachiwawa) "kuyesa unamwali"

Mu 2013, Khothi Lalikulu ku India pomaliza lidaletsa kuyesa kwa zala ziwiri. Mwachiwonekere, ngati dokotala angakwanitse zala ziwiri mkati mwa wogwiriridwayo, izo zinatanthauza kuti iye anavomera kugonana. Dziko la Georgia likadali ndi chikhalidwe chotchedwa yenge, pomwe mkwati amawonetsa pepala lokhathamira magazi kwa abale ake ngati umboni wa unamwali.

Mayeso aunamwali amayembekezeredwa kwa azimayi. Ngakhale kufufuza kwakuthupi kochitidwa ndi akatswiri azachipatala sikuchitika mwachiwonekere Kumadzulo, tili ndi malingaliro okhudzana ndi kugonana omwe amafufuza malingaliro athu. Tangoyang'anani pa nthano ya nyimboyi.

Kwa zaka 20 za moyo wanga ndimakhulupirira kuti nyimboyi inali chisonyezo cha unamwali wake. Kukhulupirira izi kunapangitsanso ziyembekezo zanga zonse zokhudzana ndi kugonana - mpaka ndinawona kanema wa Laci Green wa "Simungathe Kutengera Cherry Yanu" mu 2012. Mu kanemayu, Green amalankhula za momwe amuna alili ndipo amapereka malangizo ogonana koyamba nthawi.

Kuonera vidiyoyi ngati wophunzira waku koleji kwandipangitsa kuganiziranso zikhulupiriro zingapo zakale:

1. Kodi ndikungotaya chilichonse ngati chikhazikitso cha unamwali - nyimbo yomwe imatseka khomo - ilibe?
2. Ngati, pafupifupi, hymusi kulibe ngati chotchinga, ndiye ndichifukwa chiyani ndikukhulupirira kuti sizachilendo kwa nthawi yoyamba kupweteka?
3. Chifukwa chiyani chilankhulo chokhudza unamwali ndichachiwawa?

Munthawi yonse yasekondale komanso ku koleji ndimayembekezera kuti nthawi yoyamba ya msungwana ikuphatikizira kupweteka kapena magazi, koma popeza nyimboyi siyomwe ili ngati cholepheretsa kuthupi, ndiye mwasayansi, palibe njira yodziwira wina kuti ndi namwali. Ndiye kodi ndizotheka kuti timanama ndikunena kuti kupweteka ndikwabwino kuyesera apolisi ndi matupi awo?

Kuwonongeka kwa mauthenga osakanikirana

Zokambirana zokhudza unamwali zakhala ndi mauthenga osiyanasiyana. Inde, nthawi zonse pamakhala ndale, zachipembedzo, zachikhalidwe, kapena zamaphunziro, koma ngakhale munthawi izi, tavomereza mawu achiwawa kapena olanda (kapena onse awiri). Mawu onga "kutsitsa" kapena "kutulutsa zipatso zake" kapena "kuswa nyimbo zanu" amangoponyedwa mozungulira. Anthu amati "kutaya" unamwali wako ngati chinthu choyipa, koma palibenso mgwirizano wina pazotanthauza kutaya.

Ena amayang'ana kwambiri mukamagonana koyamba. Wina akuwonetsa kuti kugonana posachedwa kumakhala ndi zotsatira zoyipa paumoyo wakugonana. Zikuwonetsanso kuti kuyambika mochedwa (ali ndi zaka 21 kapena kupitilira) nawonso, zomwe zimatsutsana ndi zomwe zachitika kuchokera ku kafukufuku yemwe adachitika mu 2012 ndi University of Texas ku Austin. Pambuyo potsatira abale 1,659 ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha kuyambira paunyamata mpaka kukhala wamkulu, ofufuza a UT Austin adapeza kuti omwe adakwatirana ndikugonana atakwanitsa zaka 19 amatha kukhala achimwemwe mu ubale wawo wonse komanso zogonana.

Kutenga njira ina: Kodi vs.

Ziyembekezero mozungulira "kutaya unamwali wako" (zomwe zimapangidwa nthawi zambiri kudzera mwa abwenzi, kuleredwa, komanso kuwulutsidwa ndi atolankhani) zimakhudza zomwe takumana nazo kuposa momwe timaganizira. Mobwerezabwereza, abwenzi anandiuza kuti, "Nthawi yoyamba imakonda." Mnzanga wina atandiuza momwe "adataya" unamwali wake (chochitika choseketsa chomaliza chokhala ndi ana asanu), ndidachita nsanje. Anali wolimba mtima komanso wosakondera. Inenso, ndinkafuna kupewa nkhani yachikale yonena za "zogonana pambuyo pa kugonana".

Ananenanso kuti azimayi ake amanjenjemera ndimkhalidwe wamaliseche wawo. Unali utang'ambika komanso kupweteka kwa milungu iwiri, zomwe ndimaganiza kuti zinali zachilendo panthawiyo chifukwa ndimaganiza kuti unamwali ndichopinga chakuthupi. Mwinanso akadamuwuza mnzake za kukhala namwali, koma unamwali ulibe nazo kanthu - kaya m'moyo wake kapena zikadasintha momwe amamuchitira (kugonana kosayenera sikuyenera kukhala koti- to popanda chilolezo). Malangizo ake kwa ine: “Onetsetsani kuti mwaledzera mukamagonana koyamba. Zimakuthandizani kumasula kuti zisamapweteke kwambiri. "

Sayenera kukhala upangiri womwe anawona kuti ndi bwino kupereka. Koma zinali, chifukwa cha unamwali nthano. Zonse zomwe amafuna, monga mnzake wabwino, anali kuonetsetsa kuti sindinakumane ndi zomwe anali nazo.

Mwina ndichifukwa choti nthawi zambiri sitilankhula Bwanji Tiyenera kumaganizira zogonana tisanachitike zogonana kuti azimayi ndiosochera pazomwe amayembekezera. Kafukufuku wina adawona kuyambika kwa kugonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ndipo adapeza kuti amayi omwe anali okhutira m'maganizo ndi nthawi yawo yoyamba nawonso amadzimva kuti ndi olakwa. Adanenanso kuti kupanga ubale wogonana mosamala komanso kukhulupirirana kumabweretsa chisangalalo mwa anthu azaka 18 mpaka 25 zakubadwa.

Kukhala ndi nkhani yosagwirizana yomwe imakhala kuyambira nthawi yaukwati mpaka chilankhulo chachiwawa cha "kuswa" kumatha kuwononga zomwe munthu akuyembekeza komanso zokumana nazo, nthawi yoyamba kapena ayi.

Kafukufuku wina adafunsa ophunzira a 331 omwe sanamalize maphunziro awo za nthawi yoyamba kugonana Adapeza kuti anthu omwe anali ndi chidziwitso chokwanira nthawi yoyamba anali ndi magawo okwanira okhutira. Tanthauzo lake ndikuti ngakhale chidziwitso chanu choyamba chogonana ndichinthu chosaiwalika pamoyo wanu, chitha kupangika momwe mumayendera komanso momwe mumaonera zaka zogonana kumapeto.

Malingaliro ena omwe ndikuganiza kuti ayenera kuphunzitsidwa? Zomwe zimakhala ngati kumva kukhala otetezeka. Omasulidwa. Kusangalala. Chimwemwe chifukwa mukupeza chidziwitso, osataya dzina lanu.

“Dziko Lopanda Namwali”: Kodi ndi malo osangalatsa kwambiri padziko lapansi?

Nditangotchula kumene kuti ndinali namwali kwa mnyamatayo yemwe adzakhale woyamba wanga, adati, "O, ndiye ndiwe chipembere." Koma sindinali. Ine sindinakhalepo. Chifukwa chiyani anthu amatcha unamwali m'njira yomwe imapangitsa kuti anthu azimva kuti sakufunidwa nthawi yoyamba?

Monga "chipembere," ndimakhala wosokonezeka kwambiri chifukwa zikuwoneka kuti anthu amandifuna. Namwali wazaka 25 amayenera kukhala wapadera komanso wosowa, komanso kukonza nthawi yayitali. Ndipo nditagonana, ndinazindikira (ndipo mwina anatero, nanenso) kuti aliyense amangokhala kavalo. Chifukwa chake tiiwale fanizo la chipembere chifukwa chipembere ndi nthano chabe, nazonso.

Mukudziwa zomwe zili zenizeni? Disneyland, kuyambira 1955.

Nthawi yoyamba ku Disneyland imatha kumva ngati nirvana kapena kukhala anticlimactic kwathunthu. Zimatengera zifukwa zosiyanasiyana: zomwe anthu anakuwuzani za Disneyland, omwe mukupita nawo, ulendo wopita kumeneko, nyengo, ndi zinthu zina zomwe simungathe kuzilamulira.

Nayi chinthu, ngakhale: Mutha kupitanso.Ziribe kanthu momwe nthawi yanu yoyamba idayendera, sikuyenera kukhala kotsiriza. Pezani bwenzi labwino, sinthani tsiku lopanikizika, kapena ingowerengani nthawi yanu yoyamba ngati chochitika chophunzirira chifukwa simunadziwe kuti mumayenera kukwera omwe akuyenda pang'onopang'ono ndi Splash Mountain pambuyo pake.

Ndipo ndi mtundu wamatsenga wovomereza unamwali wako ngati chokumana nacho osati mkhalidwe wokhalamo. Ngakhale nthawi yoyamba, yachiwiri, kapena yachitatu sinali yabwino, mutha kusankha kuyesanso. Kapena mungasankhe kuti musapite ku Disneyland konse. Anthu ena amati ndizowonjezera, mulimonsemo. Malo osangalatsa kwambiri padziko lapansi ndi omwe mumakhala omasuka kwambiri, ngakhale zitakhala kuti simulakalaka kutero.

Christal Yuen ndi mkonzi ku Healthline.com. Akakhala kuti sakonza kapena kulemba, amacheza ndi galu wake, kupita kumakonsati, ndikudabwa kuti chifukwa chiyani zithunzi zake za Unsplash zimapitilizabe kugwiritsa ntchito nkhani zonena za kusamba.