Zomwe Amayi Onse Omwe Amafunikira - Zomwe Zikuyenera Kuchita ndi Registry ya Ana

Zamkati

• Ili patsogolo pathu pomwe, koma sitikuyang'ana
• Yambani ndi kugona
• Dziwani anthu anu (kapena munthu)
• Sungani kayendedwe
• Lowani magulu amayi
• Dziwani zonse zizindikiro za matenda amisala
• Pangani mgwirizano

Timaphatikizapo zinthu zomwe timaganiza kuti ndizothandiza kwa owerenga athu. Ngati mutagula maulalo omwe ali patsamba lino, titha kupeza ndalama zochepa. Nayi njira yathu.

Timalangizidwa kukonzekera zolembetsa zathu ndikukonzekera kubadwa kwathu, koma nanga bwanji zakukonzekera thanzi lathu lamisala?

Ndimakumbukira momveka bwino nditaimirira pamphasa yogona ku Ana "R" Us (RIP) kwa mphindi 30, ndikungoyang'ana.

Ndidakhala nthawi yayitali kuposa kuyesera kupeza mabotolo abwino kwambiri ndikuyenda mozungulira ndikusunthira mwana wathu wamkazi. Zosankha izi, panthawiyo, zimawoneka ngati moyo kapena imfa.

Komabe sindinataye nthawi iliyonse pazinthu zofunika kwambiri: thanzi langa lamaganizidwe.

Inde, sindili ndekha. Ambiri a ife timakhala maola ambiri tikufufuza chogona, mpando wamagalimoto, ndi utoto wa chipinda cha mwana wathu. Timalemba makonzedwe obadwa bwino, kusaka dokotala wabwino kwambiri wa ana, komanso kupeza chisamaliro chokhazikika cha ana.

Ndipo ngakhale izi ndizofunikira, nazonso (utoto mwina mwina wocheperako), thanzi lathu lamaganizidwe athu limakhala lotsatira - ngati tilingalira konse.

Chifukwa chiyani?

Malinga ndi Kate Rope, wolemba "Wamphamvu Monga Amayi: Momwe Mungakhalire Wathanzi, Wachimwemwe, ndi (Chofunika Kwambiri) Sane kuyambira Pathupi Mpaka Parenthood," mwa mbiriyakale, timawona umayi ngati kusintha kwachilengedwe, kosavuta, komanso kosangalatsa komwe timangoganiza kuti zichitike kamodzi tabweretsa ana athu kunyumba.

Gulu lathu limayamikiranso thanzi lathu - koma limachepetsa kwathunthu thanzi lamisala. Zomwe, mukaganiziradi, ndizabwino. Monga momwe Rope ananenera, "ubongo ndi gawo lalikulu la thupi lathu monga mimba ndi chiberekero chathu."

Kwa ine, zinali pokhapokha nditawerenga buku lanzeru la Rope, zaka zingapo pambuyo Ndikanabereka, kuti ndinazindikira kufunika kokhala ndi thanzi labwino m'maganizo aliyense mayi.

Ili patsogolo pathu pomwe, koma sitikuyang'ana

"Thanzi la m'maganizo ndilo vuto loyamba pobereka," akutero a Elizabeth O'Brien, LPC, PMH-C, katswiri wama psychology yemwe amakhala ndi pakati pathupi komanso pambuyo pobereka ndipo ndi purezidenti wa mutu wa Georgia ku Postpartum Support International.

Amanenanso kuti m'masiku 10 mpaka 14 oyamba, amayi pafupifupi 60 mpaka 80% azisangalala ndi kusintha kwa malingaliro ndikumverera kutopa.

Chifukwa chachikulu? Mahomoni.

"Ngati mutayang'ana kutsika kwanu kwa mahomoni mutabadwa pa tchati, [ndi] kukwera ma rollercoaster komwe simukufuna kupitiliza," akutero O'Brien. Amanenanso kuti munthu aliyense amayankha mosiyanasiyana kuviika uku, ndipo simudziwa momwe mungayankhire mpaka mutalowa.

Mayi m'modzi mwa amayi asanu aliwonse amakhala ndi vuto la kubadwa kapena nkhawa, zomwe Rope akuti imapitilira kawiri kuposa matenda ashuga.

Pamene mukuwerenga, mwina mukuganiza, Ndachita mantha mwalamulo. Koma, zovuta za kubadwa kwa m'mimba ndi zovuta zamatenda amathandizika kwambiri. Ndipo kuchira kumakhala kofulumira.

Chofunikira ndikupanga dongosolo lowoneka bwino laumoyo. Umu ndi momwe:

Yambani ndi kugona

Malinga ndi O'Brien, kugona ndikofunikira. "Ngati thupi lanu likuyenda mopanda kanthu, ndizovuta kuti mugwire maluso kapena njira zina zakuthana kunja uko."

Onse O'Brien ndi Rope amagogomezera kusanja momwe mungapezere maola atatu osagona tulo (komwe kumakhala kugona kwathunthu).

Mwina mutha kusinthana kosinthana kapena kusinthana usiku ndi mnzanu. Mayi wina m'buku la Rope adadzuka pakati pa 10 koloko masana. ndi 2 koloko m'mawa, pamene mwamuna wake amadzuka pakati pa 2 koloko ndi 6 koloko m'mawa ndipo amasinthasintha usiku.

Njira ina ndikufunsa mnzanu kapena wachibale wanu kapena kulemba ntchito namwino usiku.

Dziwani anthu anu (kapena munthu)

Chingwe chimalimbikitsa kuti mupeze munthu m'modzi wotetezeka yemwe munganene chilichonse.

“Ine ndi mwamuna wanga tidapangana tisanakhale ndi mwana woyamba. Ndikhoza kunena chilichonse kwa iye [monga] ‘Ndikanakonda ndikanakhala mayi’ kapena ‘Ndimadana ndi mwana wanga,’ akutero a Rope, omwe anali ndi nkhawa pambuyo pobereka. M'malo mokwiya kapena kunditeteza, ankandipatsa thandizo. ”

Ngati palibe aliyense amene mumamasuka kulankhula naye, itanani "mzere wofunda" wa Postpartum Support International (PSI). Pakadutsa maola 24, wina amene akumvetsa zomwe mukukumana akubwezerani foni ndikukuthandizani kuti mupeze komwe mungapeze.

Sungani kayendedwe

Kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi ndi chithandizo chotsimikizika cha nkhawa, kukhumudwa, komanso mavuto ena azaumoyo, atero a Rope.

Kodi ndi zosangalatsa zotani zomwe zimakusangalatsani? Kodi mungatani kuti muzipeza nthawi yocheza nawo?

Izi zitha kutanthauza kufunsa wokondedwa kuti aziwonere mwana wanu mukamachita yoga mphindi 10 pa YouTube. Zingatanthauze kuyenda m'mawa ndi mwana wanu kapena kutambasula musanagone.

Lowani magulu amayi

Kulumikizana ndikofunikira pa thanzi lathu lamisala, makamaka pamene umayi woyamba ungamve kudzipatula.

Kodi mzinda wanu uli ndimagulu amama-person? Lowani pasadakhale. Ngati sichoncho, PSI ili ndi mndandanda wazosankha pa intaneti.

Dziwani zonse zizindikiro za matenda amisala

Tikaganiza za amayi omwe ali ndi vuto la kupsinjika, timajambula zodabwitsazi. Zachisoni-zazikulu. Kutopa.

Komabe, Rope akuti ndizofala kwambiri kukhala ndi nkhawa komanso ukali wofiyira. Amayi amatha kukhala opanda zingwe komanso opindulitsa. Chingwe chimaphatikizapo mndandanda wazizindikiro patsamba lake.

Onetsetsani kuti anthu omwe mumathandizira akudziwa izi, ndipo mapulani anu ali ndi mayina ndi manambala a akatswiri azaumoyo.

Mayi atawona O'Brien nthawi zonse amamuuza kuti, "Ndiyenera kuti ndalumikizana ndi inu miyezi 4 yapitayo, koma ndinali ndikhungu ndipo sindimadziwa zomwe ndimafunikira kapena momwe ndingafikire kumeneko."

Pangani mgwirizano

Amayi omwe adalimbana ndi kukhumudwa komanso nkhawa asanakhale ndi pakati (kapena nthawi yapakati) ali pachiwopsezo chowonjezeka cha matenda amisala a m'mimba. Ichi ndichifukwa chake O'Brien akuwonetsa kuti maanja akhale pansi ndikumaliza mgwirizano wapambuyo pake.

"Kukhala mayi ndikovuta," akutero O'Brien. "Koma simuyenera kuvutika."

Mukuyenera kukhala ndi pulani yomwe imalemekeza thanzi lanu.

Margarita Tartakovsky, MS, ndi wolemba pawokha komanso wolemba nawo pa PsychCentral.com. Iye wakhala akulemba za thanzi lamisala, psychology, mawonekedwe amthupi, komanso kudzisamalira kwazaka zopitilira khumi. Amakhala ku Florida ndi amuna awo ndi mwana wawo wamkazi. Mutha kuphunzira zambiri pa https://www.margaritatartakovsky.com.