Chifukwa Chomwe Gym Sizingokhala Za Anthu Olonda

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Nthawi zambiri timaganiza kuti masewera olimbitsa thupi abwino m'dera lathu amapezeka kumalo ochitira masewera olimbitsa thupi, koma kwa ine, izi zakhala zokhumudwitsa nthawi zonse. Zero joy. Nthawi iliyonse ndikapita ku masewera olimbitsa thupi m'moyo wanga (panali mfundo zina pomwe ndimakhala tsiku lililonse), yakhala njira yolangira: malo omwe ndimayenera kupita chifukwa zomwe zandichitikira sizinali zokwanira, ndipo Ndinafunika kuthamanga pa treadmill MPAKA NDINAKHALA BWINO, DAMMIT! Malo ochitira masewera olimbitsa thupi adakhala chipinda chozunzikirapo, ziribe kanthu kuti ndidayesa (kambirimbiri), kotero masewera okhudzana ndi masewera olimbitsa thupi sangakhale osangalatsa kwa ine.

Koma tsiku lina ndidapambana ubale wanga wonyansa / woyipa / wokwiya / wolanga ndikuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi; linali tsiku, zaka zingapo zapitazo, pomwe ndidasungunuka. Mtundu wosungunuka. . . ndipo zonse zinali za kalasi yovina. (Onani malangizowo ku Banish Gym-manyazi.)

Mnzanga wina anandiitanira ku kalasi yovina ya ku Africa ya Jade Beall, ndipo ndinavomera kupita naye; palibe vuto! Koma ola limodzi m'mbuyomo, machitidwe anga mwadzidzidzi adazindikira kuti ndangolembetsa kumene kalasi yatsopano yochita masewera olimbitsa thupi, ndipo ndidachita mantha kwambiri. Guys, ndachita mantha. Ndimamva ngati ndikupuma kwakanthawi ndikulephera kudziletsa; zinali zosayembekezereka, ndipo pakadali pano sindikanatha kukuuzani chifukwa chake. Ndidachita mantha ndi bokosi la bwenzi langa la Facebook, ndipo mauthenga athu mobwerezabwereza amapita motere:

Ine, ndikulemba, kunyumba ndikulira:

Ayi. Sindikupita.

A Goddamnit dude, ndikuchita mantha kwambiri kuti ndipite.

Zinthu zathupi ili ndizovuta kwambiri.

Nskjdgfsbhkassdfjwsbvgfudjsc.

Ndipo ndikudzimva kuti ndine wolakwa.

Ndine munthu wonenepa kwambiri.

Ndikugwidwa ndi mantha. Monga kulira komanso kuyipa.

MAVUTO ONSE.

Mnzanga:

Chabwino, ndiye chikuchitika ndi chiyani apa? Mukulimbana ndi chiyani kwenikweni?

Ine:

Zinthu zambiri.

Sindinakhalepo mkalasi yovina kuyambira ku koleji ndipo ndili ndi chiyembekezo kuti zikhala zovuta kuposa pamenepo ndipo ndine wolephera kale.

ndipo ndine wotsimikiza kuti ndilephera m'kalasi ili ndipo sindikonda thupi langa lero

ndipo ndimamva ngati ndikuyenera kupita ndipo ubongo wanga umangondiuza kuti ndiyenera kutero kapena sindine wonenepa kwambiri

ndipo ndikakuona ndingonong'oneza bondo kuti sindinapiteko

ndiyeno ndiyenera kukhala pa bulu wanga wonenepa usiku wonse ndikudziwa kuti sindinachite

pamene ndiyenera kukhala nacho koma sindingathe.

Sindingathe.

Mnzanga:

Nayi chinthucho.

Simudzakhala nokha. Nthawi yomaliza imene ndinali kumeneko, anthu anali osiyana. Panali ana ndipo ngakhale bambo wachikulire yemwe samatha kuyenda mwachangu monga ena onse.

Zinali zovuta kwa aliyense.

Simudzakhala nokha.

Ndipo zinali zovuta kwa inenso! Nthawi ina ndimayenera kusankha kuti mwina nditha kupyola kapena kutuluka. Koma ndinaganiza zokhala ndipo zinali zodabwitsa ndipo nditatsiriza ndinamva ngati ndili ndi ziphuphu khumi ndi ziwiri.

Ine:

Ndimadana ndi kunenepa.

Ndimadana ndi chilichonse.

Ndimadana ndi momwe zimakhalira zovuta pamoyo watsiku ndi tsiku

ndi zopinga zingati zamalingaliro zomwe ndiyenera kulimbana nazo kuti ndichite zomwe ena amachita.

Ndipo ndimadana ndi kudzilungamitsa chilichonse chifukwa ndimamva ngati ndili ndi ngongole kudziko lapansi kuti ndichepetse thupi kapena kuyesa kuchepetsa thupi.

kapena kudya mosiyana ndikuchepetsa thupi. . . kapena china chake.

Ndizovuta kwambiri ndipo zimamveka ngati zopenga koma ndizofala kwa ine.

IZI NDI ZOTHANDIZA ZONSE.

Mnzanga:

Ndikumvetsetsa.

Ndimachimvetsetsa.

Nkhani zamthupi zonse ndizoyipa ndipo NDI ZONSE ZOVUTA.

Koma dzichitireni zabwino, chabwino? Osazichita kuti muchepetse kunenepa. Ingopitani ku ziphuphu.

Kotero, "kwa orgasms" ndinapita. Usikuwo udasandulika chidziwitso chauzimu, chomwe chidasinthiratu malingaliro anga. Jade ndiwodabwitsa pamunthu. Mphamvu zake zopatsirana zinandikumbutsa kuti ndikofunika kukonda ena, ndipo koposa zonse, kudzikonda wekha. Ndipo muyenera kumuwona akugwedeza zofunkha zosaneneka pabwalo lovina. Mulungu. Asa. Ndipo nditha kuyerekezera kuti ndidachulukitsa mbiri yamnzanga usiku umodzi. Zinali. Zodabwitsa. (P.S. Pa ndi Ulalo Pakati pa Chimwemwe ndi Kuchepetsa Thupi.)

Ndinayenera kudzikakamiza kuvala mathalauza anga ovina ndikamalankhula ndi mnzanga kuti ndisabwerere kumapeto komaliza. Kenako ndinatembenuza ubongo wanga ndikungoyang'ana lonjezo langa loti ndingowonekera kuti ndikonzekere, koma ndinakhalabe ndichinthu chonsecho. Ndinadzilola kulakwitsa, anzanga, komanso kupusa mwa ine. Sindinade nkhawa ndi masitepewo, kwakukulu, chifukwa ndinali nditapambana mantha anga akulu ndikangokhala komweko.

Tsopano, lero, ndikuganiza mmbuyo pa mauthenga a Facebook aja popanda kutengeka kulikonse. Zimandivuta kuti ndimvetsetse momwe chinthu chophweka monga kupita ku gulu loyendetsa chingasokonezere dziko langa kwambiri kotero kuti sindingathe kugwira ntchito. Koma zinatero. Ndipo zinali zenizeni. Ndipo zodabwitsazi ndizofala kwambiri.

Nthawi zambiri, azimayi onenepa timamva kukakamizidwa kuti "tichite bwino" pochepetsa thupi, koma timadzimva kuti timasalidwa pochita masewera olimbitsa thupi. Timamva kuti tili ndi udindo wolowa nawo The Perfect Body Factory (chabwino, mwina mumayitcha malo ochitira masewera olimbitsa thupi), koma tikafika, timamva kuti tilibe malo ndikukankhidwira mpikisano womwe talephera nawo tisanalowemo. Ndi malingaliro, ndipo zimawopseza ambiri a ife opanda pake. Kuphatikiza thupi lamafuta ndi masewera olimbitsa thupi kumatha kudzetsa manyazi moyo wonse. Mmodzi mwa mitundu yamphamvu kwambiri yamanyazi padziko lapansi. (Pezani Momwe Manyazi Amawonongera Thupi Lanu.)

Ndinatsimikiza kuti ndidzalephera usiku womwewo. Ndikadakhala ndikubetcha chilichonse chomwe ndinali nacho muakaunti yanga yakubanki. Koma NDINALEPHEREKA! Ndidamaliza kalasi yonse ndipo ndimakonda mphindi iliyonse. Panali dzanja limodzi lomwe linasokoneza zoyipa zomwe sindinathe kutsika, koma sizinali chifukwa cha kulemera kwanga. Zinali chifukwa ubongo wanga unali ngati, "WHATTHEFUCK, KUWERENGA PA OFF-BEATS NDIKOVUTA." Thukuta silinali lopindulitsa kwambiri, ndipo ndinali nalo lochuluka. Chabwino, tonse tinatero. Ndili ndi mwayi wotha kuwona malingaliro anga "pambuyo pake" ndi "pambuyo pake" ndikuzindikira kuti palibe chilichonse mwa izi chokhudza udindo, kuchepa thupi, kapena maluso.

Ndi za kumva bwino.

Ndipo kumva bwino ndiko ayi yekha. Endorphins si a iwo okha omwe ali ndi matupi owoneka bwino. Ndimaloledwa kusuntha thupi langa m'njira iliyonse yomwe ndikufuna komanso osapepesa momwe akuwonekera pochita izi. Sindiyenera kukhala wangwiro, ndipo sindiyenera kupita kuti ndisinthe thupi langa. Ndikhoza kupita chifukwa ndikufuna. Chifukwa ndimakonda kugwiritsa ntchito makina omwe ndimakhalamo. Chifukwa ndimafuna kumva zodabwitsa. Chifukwa ndiyenera kumva zodabwitsa.

Malangizo anga kwa mayi aliyense amene akufuna kuchita nawo njinga, ma aerobics, yoga, Jazzercise, Pilates, kusambira, kuvina, kapena kalasi ya Zumba koma akuopa kuyesa?

Osapita kukachepetsa thupi. Pitani ku ziphuphu.

Otengedwa kuchokera Zinthu Zomwe Palibe Adzawauze Atsikana Amafuta: Buku Lophunzitsira Osakhala Okhumudwa ndi Jes Baker. Lofalitsidwa ndi Seal Press, mamembala a Perseus Books Group. Copyright © 2015.

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