Chifukwa Chake Kutaya Tsitsi Kunandiopsa Kuposa Khansa Yam'mawere

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Kupezeka ndi khansa ya m'mawere ndichinthu chachilendo. Sekondi imodzi, mumamva bwino, ngakhale-kenako mumapeza chotupa. Chotupacho sichipweteka. Sizimakupangitsani kumva kuti ndinu oyipa. Amakumenyerani singano, ndipo mumadikirira sabata zotsatira. Ndiye inu mupeza kuti ndi khansara. Simukukhala pansi pathanthwe, chifukwa chake mukudziwa kuti chinthu ichi mkati mwanu chitha kukuphani. Inu mukudziwa zomwe zikubwera motsatira. Chiyembekezo chanu chokha chodzapulumuka chidzakhala izi-opareshoni, chemotherapy-yomwe ipulumutsa moyo wanu koma imakupangitsani kumva kuwawa kuposa momwe mudamvapo kale. Kumva kuti muli ndi khansa ndi chimodzi mwazinthu zowopsa, koma mwina osati pazifukwa zomwe mukuganiza.

Ndidawerenga za kafukufuku wambiri wazomwe zimadutsa m'malingaliro azimayi akalandira uthenga woti ali ndi khansa ya m'mawere. Mantha awo amodzi ndikutaya tsitsi. Kuopa kufa kumabwera chachiwiri.

Nditapezeka ndili ndi zaka 29, kubwerera mu Seputembala 2012, dziko lolemba mabulogu linali ngati West, wakutchire. Ndinali ndi blog yaying'ono yamafashoni yaana. Ndinagwiritsa ntchito buloguyo kuuza aliyense yemwe ndinali ndi khansa ndipo, mwachidule, blog yanga yamafashoni idakhala blog ya khansa.

Ndinalemba za nthawi yomwe ndinauzidwa kuti ndi CANCER komanso kuti lingaliro langa loyamba linali Ah, zoyipa, chonde ayi, sindikufuna kutaya tsitsi langa. Ndinkanamizira kuti ndimaganizira za kupulumuka kwinaku ndikulira mobisa kuti ndigone usiku uliwonse za tsitsi langa.

Ndidachotsa khansa ya m'mawere, komanso kutayika tsitsi kuchokera ku chemo. Kodi pali chilichonse chomwe ndingachite? Kodi panali njira iliyonse yopulumutsira tsitsi langa? Mwinamwake ndimangodzidodometsa ndekha ndi china chake chomwe chimakwaniritsidwa, chifukwa kulingalira zakufa kwanu sichoncho. Koma sizinali choncho. Zomwe ndimangosamala nazo ndi tsitsi langa.

Zomwe ndidapeza pa intaneti zinali zowopsa. Zithunzi za azimayi akulira pamanja pamutu, malangizo amomwe angamangirire mpango mpango wamaluwa. Kodi pali china chomwe chidafuula mokweza kuti "ndili ndi khansa" kuposa mpango womangidwa kumaluwa? Tsitsi langa lalitali (kuphatikiza limodzi mwa mawere anga) likanatha-ndipo, kutengera zithunzi zapaintaneti, ndimawoneka owopsa.

Ndinadzitonthoza ndekha ndi wigi wokongola kwambiri. Unali wandiweyani komanso wautali komanso wowongoka. Bwino kuposa tsitsi langa lachibvundi komanso loperewera magazi pang'ono. Anali tsitsi lomwe ndimalota nthawi zonse, ndipo ndinali wokondwa modabwitsa chifukwa chovala, kapena ndinachita ntchito yabwino kutsimikizira kuti ndinali.

Koma, munthu amapanga mapulani, ndipo Mulungu amaseka. Ndinayamba chemo ndipo ndinadwala matenda oopsa a folliculitis. Tsitsi langa limathothoka milungu itatu iliyonse, kenako kumera, kenako nkuthanso. Mutu wanga unali wovuta kwambiri, sindinathe ngakhale kuvala mpango, ngakhale wigi. Choyipa chachikulu, khungu langa limawoneka ngati la mwana wachinyamata wamiseche yemwe sindinakhaleko. Mwanjira ina, idakwanitsanso kuuma modabwitsa ndi makwinya, ndipo matumba olemera adamera m'maso mwanga usiku wonse. Dokotala wanga anandiuza kuti chemo ikhoza kuukira collagen; Kusiya kusamba kwabodza komwe ndinali kukumana nako kungayambitse "zizindikiro za ukalamba." Chemo idawononga kagayidwe kanga, ndikundipangitsa kuti ndidye zakudya zoyera za carbs - dongosolo langa lonse losalimba la m'mimba limatha kuthana nalo. Ma steroids adandipangitsa kukhala wotupa, ndikuwonjezera ziphuphu pamasakaniza, ndipo, ngati bonasi yosangalatsa, imandipangitsa kukhala wokwiya nthawi zonse. Kuphatikiza apo, ndimakumana ndi ochita maopareshoni ndipo ndimakonza zodula mabere anga. Khansa ya m'mawere inali kuwononga chilichonse ndi chilichonse chomwe chidandipangitsa kuti ndikhale wotentha kapena wokongola.

Ndinapanga bolodi la Pinterest (baldspiration) ndikuyamba kuvala maso amphaka komanso milomo yofiira. Ndikatuluka pagulu (nthawi zonse chitetezo changa cha mthupi chikalola), mopanda manyazi ndidawonetsa mkanda wanga wonyezimira komanso kuvala mikanda yambiri ya blingy (inali 2013!). Ndidawoneka ngati Amber Rose.

Kenako ndinazindikira chifukwa chake palibe amene analankhula za kukongola konse / khansa. Zinali chifukwa cha zomwe ndinkachitazi zomwe ndinkangokhalira kunena: "Wow, Dena, ukuwoneka wodabwitsa. Ukuwoneka bwino kwambiri ndi mutu wadazi ... Koma, sindikukhulupirira kuti mukuchita zonsezi. Sindikukhulupirira kuti mumasamala. kwambiri za momwe mumaonekera mukamamenyera moyo wanu. "

Ndinali kuchita manyazi (ngakhale ndimayamiko) poyesa kuwoneka bwino. Kuyesera kukhala wokongola, kukhala wachikazi, ndichinthu chomwe anthu ena mdera lathu sakuwoneka ngati akuchivomereza. Simukundikhulupirira? Onani ma troll troll omwe amazunza olemba mabulogu okongola pa Youtube ndi Instagram pompano.

Ndimasamala momwe ndimawonekera. Zanditengera nthawi yayitali komanso khansa yambiri kuti ndivomereze izi poyera. Ndikufuna anthu ena-amuna anga, abwenzi anga, zibwenzi zanga zakale, alendo-kuti aganize kuti ndine wokongola. Ndinadalitsidwa kwambiri ndisanakhale ndi khansa ndi zinthu zingapo zomwe zinandithandiza kuti ndizinamizira kuti sindimasamala za maonekedwe ndikukhala mobisa m'njira zomwe ndinali wokongola kwambiri. Ndikhoza kunamizira kuti sindikuyesera molimba.

Kukhala wadazi kunasintha zonsezi. Popanda tsitsi langa, ndipo pomwe "ndimamenyera nkhondo moyo wanga," kuyesayesa kulikonse kodzola zodzoladzola kapena kuvala bwino kunayankhula za "kuyesera" uku koopsa. Panalibe kukongola kopanda mphamvu. Chilichonse chinafunika khama. Kudzuka pabedi kuti nditsuka mano kunafuna khama. Kudya chakudya osataya kunkafuna khama. Zachidziwikire kuti kuvala kansalu kadontho kofiira ndi milomo yofiyira kunatenga khama kwambiri.

Nthawi zina, ndikakhala mu chemo, kuvala eyeliner ndikutenga selfie ndizomwe ndidakwanitsa tsiku limodzi. Kachitidwe kakang'ono kameneka kanandipangitsa kumva ngati munthu osati petri mbale yama cell ndi poyizoni. Zinandipangitsa kuti ndikhale wolumikizana ndi dziko lakunja pomwe ndimakhala muchitetezo changa cha chitetezo cha mthupi. Zinandilumikizitsa kwa azimayi ena omwe akukumana ndi zomwezi-amayi omwe adati samachita mantha chifukwa cholemba ulendo wanga.Zinandipatsa cholinga cholimbikitsa modabwitsa.

Anthu omwe ali ndi khansa adandithokoza chifukwa cholemba za chisamaliro cha khungu komanso kuvala milomo yofiira komanso kujambula zithunzi pafupifupi tsiku lililonse zokulitsa tsitsi langa. Sindimachiritsa khansa, koma ndimapangitsa anthu omwe ali ndi khansa kumva bwino, ndipo izi zidandipangitsa kumva ngati mwina panali chifukwa chomwe zovuta zonsezi zimandichitikira.

Chifukwa chake ndidagawana-mwina mopambanitsa. Ndaphunzira kuti nsidze zanu zikagwa, pamakhala ma stencils oti muziwakokanso. Ndinaphunzira kuti palibe amene amazindikira kuti mulibe eyelashes ngati muvala swoop yabwino yama eyeliner. Ndinaphunzira zinthu zothandiza kwambiri pochiza ziphuphu komanso kukalamba khungu. Ndinapeza zowonjezera, ndipo ndinatengera zomwe Charlize Theron anachita pamene anali kukulitsa tsitsi lake pambuyo pa Mad Max.

Tsitsi langa lafika paphewa langa tsopano. Mwayi wandiyendetsa limodzi ndi chinthu chonsechi, kotero kuti tsitsi langa mwanjira inayake limachita zamatsenga. Njira yanga yosamalira khungu ndi yolimba. Maso anga ndi nsidze zakula. Momwe ndikulemba izi, ndikumachira ku mastectomy ndipo ndili ndi mabere awiri osiyana kukula ndi nsonga imodzi. Ndikuwonetsabe zomangirira zambiri.

Mnzanga wapamtima nthawi ina adandiuza kuti kutenga khansa kudzakhala chinthu chabwino kwambiri komanso choyipitsitsa chomwe chidandichitikira. Iye anali kulondola. Dziko lonse linanditsegukira pamene ndinadwala khansa. Chiyamiko chinakula mkati mwanga ngati duwa. Ndimayenera kulimbikitsa anthu kuti afunefune kukongola kwawo. Koma ndimaganizirabe kuti tsitsi lalitali, khungu losalala, ndi ma boobs akulu (ofananira) ndi otentha. Ndimawafunabe. Ndikungodziwa tsopano kuti sindikuwafuna.

Zambiri kuchokera ku Refinery29:

Umu Ndi Momwe Katswiri Wachitsanzo Amadziwonera Yekha

Kudzivala Kwanga Koyamba

Zolemba Za Mkazi Wina Zolemba Sabata Ya Chemotherapy

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