Inde, Ndinasankha Kukhala Mayi Osakwatiwa

Zamkati

• Izi sizitanthauza kuti zakhala zosavuta nthawi zonse
• Ndipo nthawi zina zimakhala zovuta

Timaphatikizapo zinthu zomwe timaganiza kuti ndizothandiza kwa owerenga athu. Ngati mutagula maulalo omwe ali patsamba lino, titha kupeza ndalama zochepa. Nayi njira yathu.

Ndikhoza kuganiza kuti zosankha zina zomwe ndapanga, koma ndi lingaliro limodzi lomwe sindiyenera kukayikira.

M'miyezi yochepa chabe, ndidzakwanitsa zaka 37. Sindinakwatiwepo. Sindinakhalepo ndi mnzanga. Heck, sindinakhalepo ndiubwenzi wopirira kupitirira miyezi ya 6.

Mutha kunena kuti zikutanthauza kuti mwina pali china chake cholakwika ndi ine, ndipo kunena zowona - sindingatsutse.

Ubale umandivuta, pazifukwa zikwi zingapo zomwe sizili zofunikira kulowa pano. Koma chinthu chimodzi ndikudziwa? Kuperewera kwanga kwa mbiriyakale yaubwenzi sikufika pamantha a kudzipereka.

Sindinawopepo kuchita zinthu zoyenera. Ndipo mwana wanga wamkazi ndi umboni wa izi.

Mukudziwa, nthawi zonse ndimakhala ndizovuta kwambiri kudziyerekeza ndekha ngati mkazi. Ndi chinthu chomwe gawo langa lakhala likufuna, inde - ndani safuna kukhulupirira kuti pali wina kunja uko amatanthauza kuwakonda kwamuyaya? Koma sizinakhale zotulukapo zomwe ndakwanitsa kudziwonera ndekha.

Koma umayi? Ichi ndi chinthu chomwe ndakhala ndikufuna ndikukhulupirira kuti ndikadakhala nacho kuyambira ndili mwana.

Chifukwa chake pomwe dokotala adandiuza ndili ndi zaka 26 zakubadwa kuti ndikukumana ndi kusabereka komanso kuti ndili ndi nthawi yayifupi kwambiri yoyeserera kukhala ndi mwana - sindinazengereze. Kapena mwina ndidatero, kwakanthawi kapena mphindi ziwiri, chifukwa kulowa m'mayi ndekha panthawiyo kunali chinthu chopenga. Koma kudzilola kutaya mwayiwu kumawoneka ngati kopusa kwambiri.

Ndipo ndichifukwa chake, monga mayi wosakwatiwa wazaka zapakati pa 20s, ndidalandira umuna wopereka umuna ndikulipira ndalama ziwiri kuphatikizira mu vitro feteleza - zonse zomwe zidalephera.

Pambuyo pake, ndinakhumudwa. Kutsimikizika kuti sindidzapeza mwayi wokhala mayi amene ndimalota kukhala.

Koma miyezi ingapo chabe ndikuchita manyazi tsiku langa lobadwa la 30, ndidakumana ndi mayi yemwe amayenera sabata kuti abereke mwana yemwe samatha kumusunga. Ndipo patangopita mphindi zochepa kuti andidziwitse, adandifunsa ngati ndingamutengere mwana yemwe adanyamula.

Zonsezi zinali kamvuluvulu ndipo osati momwe zimakhalira kulera ana. Sindinkagwira ntchito ndi bungwe lolera, ndipo sindinayang'ane kubweretsa mwana wakhanda kunyumba. Uwu unali mwayi wokha wokumana ndi mayi yemwe anali kundipatsa zomwe ndinali nditatsala pang'ono kusiya kuziyembekezera.

Ndipo zowonadi ndidati inde. Ngakhale, kachiwiri, zinali zopusa kutero.

Patadutsa sabata, ndinali mchipinda choberekera kukumana ndi mwana wanga wamkazi. Patatha miyezi inayi, woweruza adamupanga wanga. Ndipo pafupifupi zaka 7 pambuyo pake tsopano, ndikukuwuzani motsimikiza:

Kunena kuti inde, kusankha kukhala mayi wosakwatiwa?

Chinali chisankho chabwino kwambiri chomwe ndidapanga.

Izi sizitanthauza kuti zakhala zosavuta nthawi zonse

Pali chidetso chozungulira azimayi osakwatiwa pagulu masiku ano.

Nthawi zambiri amawoneka ngati atsika mwayi kwa amayi omwe ali ndi malingaliro oyipa mwa anzawo omwe sangathe kukumba njira yopulumukira kuphompho komwe adapezeka. Timaphunzitsidwa kuwamvera chisoni. Kuwamvera chisoni. Ndipo tawuzidwa kuti ana awo ali ndi mwayi wochepa komanso mwayi wokula bwino.

Palibe zomwe zili zoona m'mikhalidwe yathu.

Ndine yemwe mungatche "mayi wopanda mayi mwakufuna kwanga."

Ndife anthu ochulukirachulukira azimayi - omwe amaphunzitsidwa bwino komanso opambana pantchito zathu popeza sitinachite bwino mchikondi - omwe asankha umayi wosakwatira pazifukwa zosiyanasiyana.

Ena, monga ine, adakankhidwa ndi izi, pomwe ena adangotopa ndikudikirira kuti mnzakeyo apezeke. Koma malinga ndi kafukufukuyu, ana athu amabadwanso chimodzimodzi omwe adaleredwa m'mabanja a makolo awiri. Zomwe ndikuganiza m'njira zambiri zimafikira pakudzipereka kwathu pantchito yomwe tidasankha.

Koma zomwe manambala sangakuuzeni ndikuti pali njira zenizeni za kukhala mayi wosakwatiwa kosavuta kuposa kulera limodzi ndi mnzanu.

Mwachitsanzo, sindiyenera kukangana ndi wina aliyense za njira zabwino zolerera mwana wanga. Sindiyenera kutenga malingaliro a wina aliyense, kapena kuwatsimikizira kuti atsatire njira zanga zophunzitsira, kapena zolimbikitsira, kapena kuyankhula za dziko lonse lapansi.

Ndimayenera kulera mwana wanga wamkazi ndendende momwe ndimaonera - osadandaula za lingaliro la wina aliyense kapena zonena zake.

Ndipo ndichinthu chomwe ngakhale anzanga omwe ali mgwirizanowu wapafupi kwambiri pakati pa makolo sanganene.

Ndilibe wamkulu wina yemwe ndakhala ndikumusamalira - china chomwe ndawonapo anzanga angapo amachita nawo zikafika kwa anzawo omwe amapanga ntchito zambiri kuposa momwe amathandizira kuti athetse.

Ndimatha kuyang'ana nthawi yanga ndi chidwi changa pa mwana wanga, m'malo moyesera kukakamiza wokondedwa kuti apite ku mgwirizano womwe sangakhale nawo kuti akumane nane.

Kupitilira zonsezi, sindiyenera kuda nkhawa za tsiku lomwe ine ndi mnzanga tidzagawane ndikudzipeza tokha pamapeto pa zosankha zaubereki - popanda phindu laubwenzi kuti tibwerere limodzi.

Tsiku silidzafika pomwe ndiyenera kupita ndi kholo langa limodzi kukhothi pa chisankho chomwe sitingakhale nawo pamtundu womwewo. Mwana wanga sangakule atakhala pakati pa makolo awiri omwe akumenyanirana omwe samawoneka kuti akupeza njira yomuyikira patsogolo.

Tsopano, mwachiwonekere si maubwenzi onse okhalira ana amakhala omwewo. Koma ndaona ochuluka kwambiri omwe akhala nawo. Ndipo inde, ndimalimbikitsidwa kudziwa kuti sindidzaperekanso nthawi yanga ndi mwana wanga wamkazi sabata, sabata yopuma, ndi munthu yemwe sindingathe kupanga naye ubale.

Ndipo nthawi zina zimakhala zovuta

Inde, palinso magawo ena omwe ndi ovuta. Mwana wanga wamkazi ali ndi matenda osachiritsika, ndipo pomwe timadwala matendawa, kuthana ndi mavutowo ndekha zinali zopweteka kwambiri.

Ndili ndi chithandizo chodabwitsa - abwenzi ndi abale omwe anali momwemo momwe angakhalire. Koma kuyendera kuchipatala kulikonse, mayeso aliwonse owopsa, mphindi iliyonse yodandaula ngati mwana wanga wamkazi azikhala bwino? Ndinkalakalaka munthu wina pafupi nane yemwe anali ndi thanzi labwino komanso thanzi labwino monga ine.

Zina mwazomwe zikupitilirabe mpaka pano, ngakhale tili ndi vuto lake.

Nthawi zonse ndikafunika kupanga chisankho pazachipatala, ndipo nkhawa yanga yodzaza ndimavuto ikulimbana ndi chinthu chabwino, ndikulakalaka pakadakhala wina pafupi yemwe amamukonda kwambiri monga ine - wina amene amatha kupanga zisankhozo Sindingathe.

Nthawi zomwe ndimapezeka kuti ndikufunira bwenzi lokhala kholo nthawi zonse nthawi zomwe ndimatsala ndikuthana ndi thanzi la mwana wanga wamkazi ndekha.

Koma nthawi yotsala? Ndimakonda kusamalira umayi wosakwatiwa bwino. Ndipo sindimadana kuti usiku uliwonse ndikagona ndi mwana wanga wamkazi, ndimakhala ndi maola kwa ine ndekha kuti ndikonzenso ndikudzuka tsiku lisanakwane.

Monga wolowerera, maora usiku onsewa kukhala anga ndipo zanga zokha ndizodzikonda ine ndikudziwa ndikadasowa ndikadakhala ndi mnzanga woti andisamalire.

Osandilakwitsa, pali gawo lina la ine lomwe likuyembekeza kuti mwina tsiku lina, ndidzapeza mnzanga yemwe angandipirire. Munthu ameneyo ndikufunitsitsa kuti ndimupatse maola amenewo usiku.

Ndikungonena… pali zabwino ndi zoyipa zakulera onse awiri ndi omwe alibe. Ndipo ndimasankha kuganizira momwe ntchito yanga monga mayi ilili yosavuta chifukwa ndidasankha kuti ndizichita ndekha.

Makamaka chakuti ndikadapanda kusankha kutumpha zaka zonsezi zapitazo, mwina sindingakhale mayi konse tsopano. Ndipo ndikaganiza zakuti kukhala mayi ndi gawo la moyo wanga zomwe zimandibweretsera chimwemwe kwambiri lero?

Sindingaganize kuchita njira ina iliyonse.

Leah Campbell ndi wolemba komanso mkonzi yemwe amakhala ku Anchorage, Alaska. Ndi mayi wosakwatiwa mwakufuna atatha zochitika zingapo zomwe zidapangitsa kuti mwana wake wamkazi atengeredwe. Leah ndi mlembi wa bukuli “Mkazi Wosakwatira Wosabereka”Ndipo alemba zambiri pamitu yokhudza kubereka, kulera ana, komanso kulera ana. Mutha kulumikizana ndi Leah kudzera Facebook, iye tsamba la webusayiti, ndi Twitter.