Kusiyanitsa Kokonda Wina ndi Kukondana Naye

Zamkati

• Zomwe zimakhala mchikondi
• Mukumva kuti mwadzazidwa ndikukhala ndi chisangalalo mozungulira iwo
• Simungadikire kuti mudzawaonenso - ngakhale atangochoka
• Chilichonse chimakhala chosangalatsa komanso chatsopano
• Nthawi zonse mumakhala ndi nthawi yocheza nawo
• Simukuvutikira kudzipereka chifukwa cha iwo
• Muli ndi chiwerewere chosangalatsa
• Mumawalimbikitsa
• Zomwe zimakhala ngati kukonda wokondedwa
• Ndinu otetezeka mu chikondi chawo
• Simukumva kuti muyenera kubweza malingaliro anu
• Mukuwona (ndikuvomereza) zabwino ndi zochepa kuposa zabwino
• Ubwenzi wapamtima ungafune khama
• Chiyanjano chimatenga ntchito yambiri
• Mukumva kulumikizidwa kwakukulu
• Kodi wina wabwino kuposa winayo?
• Kodi mutha kubwerera kukondana ndi munthu wina?
• Mfundo yofunika

Kukondana ndi cholinga chofunikira kwambiri kwa anthu ambiri. Kaya mwakhala mukukondana kale kapena simunayambe kukondana koyamba, mutha kuganiza za chikondi ichi ngati chimake cha zokumana nazo zachikondi - mwina ngakhale pachimake pa moyo zokumana nazo.

Kukondana ndi winawake kumatha kukhala kosangalatsa, komanso kosangalatsa. Koma popita nthawi, malingaliro awa amatha kukhala chinthu chomwe chimamveka mosiyana pang'ono. Chikondi ichi chingawoneke chofewa kapena chodekha. Mutha kudzipeza mukuganiza kuti "Ndimawakonda" m'malo mongoti "Ndimakondana nawo."

Kusinthaku sikutanthauza kuti pali cholakwika chilichonse ndi ubale wanu.

Kukonda wina m'malo momukonda "zimangowonetsa momwe chikondi chimasinthira chifukwa cha chibwenzi, makamaka ubale wanthawi yayitali.

Zomwe zimakhala mchikondi

Kukhala mchikondi nthawi zambiri kumatanthawuza kukhudzika komwe kumalowera pachibwenzi.

Izi zikuphatikiza:

• kutengeka
• chimwemwe
• chisangalalo ndi mantha
• zokopa zakugonana ndi chilakolako

Nazi zomwe malingaliro awa angawoneke ngati akugwira ntchito.

Mukumva kuti mwadzazidwa ndikukhala ndi chisangalalo mozungulira iwo

Siziwoneka ngati izi, koma kukhala mchikondi ndi njira yasayansi. Kugwa mchikondi kumaphatikizapo mahomoni ambiri, omwe amatha kukulitsa malingaliro anu ndikuwapangitsa kuti asinthe kwambiri.

Mukakhala pafupi ndi munthu amene mumamukonda, kuchuluka kwa dopamine ndi norepinephrine kumabweretsa kumverera kwa:

• chisangalalo
• kunyada
• chisangalalo chamanjenje
• chisangalalo

Kuchepa kwa serotonin kumatha kuyambitsa kukhudzidwa.

Mahomoni ogonana, monga testosterone ndi estrogen, nawonso amatenga gawo limodzi pakukulitsa libido ndikupangitsa kuti mukhale ndi chilakolako.

Mahomoni ena ofunikira, monga oxytocin ndi vasopressin, amathandizira kulimbitsa kukopa kwanu polimbikitsa kukhulupirirana, kumvera ena chisoni, komanso zinthu zina zomwe zimaphatikizika kwakanthawi.

Simungadikire kuti mudzawaonenso - ngakhale atangochoka

Ngakhale mutakhala tsiku lonse ndi mnzanu, mumamvanso osungulumwa akamachoka. Mumadabwa zomwe akuchita komanso ngati akuganiza za inu. Mwinamwake muli ndi malingaliro oti mudzakumanenso tsiku lotsatira, komabe mukuganiza kuti mudzakwanitsa bwanji kufikira mudzawaonanso.

Izi ndizofala mukamakondana. Ndipo ngakhale zili zathanzi kukhala nthawi yotalikirana, sizitanthauza kuti mumasangalala kutero.

Ngati simungaleke kuganizira za iwo ngakhale mutapatukana, mosakayikira mukusangalala ndi chisangalalo chowawa chokhala mchikondi.

Chilichonse chimakhala chosangalatsa komanso chatsopano

Kukhala wachikondi kumatha kusintha momwe mumaonera zinthu. Ngakhale zinthu za tsiku ndi tsiku monga kupita kugolosale zimatha kukhala zosangalatsa.

Muthanso kuyang'ana zinthu zina ndi maso atsopano. Anthu ambiri omwe ali mchikondi amadzimva kukhala ofunitsitsa kuyesa zinthu zatsopano, kapena zinthu zomwe samasamala m'mbuyomu, chifukwa choti wokondedwa wawo amasangalala nazo.

Palibe cholakwika poyesa zinthu zatsopano. M'malo mwake, kutseguka ku zokumana nazo zatsopano ndimakhalidwe abwino kukhala nawo. Koma ndizofala kwambiri kumva kutengeka ndi zokonda za mnzanu, onetsetsani kuti simukukakamizidwa kutsatira zomwe simukufuna kwenikweni.

Nthawi zonse mumakhala ndi nthawi yocheza nawo

Nthawi zambiri, kukondana ndi munthu wina kumatanthauza kuti mumafuna kuthera nthawi yochuluka nawo momwe mungathere. Ngakhale mutakhala otanganidwa, mwina mumapezeka kuti mukukonzekera ndandanda yanu kuti muwone mnzanu.

Izi zitha kuphatikizaponso kufunitsitsa kuti mudziwe zambiri za iwo powunika zomwe amakonda. Pamene chikondi chikugwirizana, mwina amadzimva chimodzimodzi za inu ndipo amafuna kuthera nthawi yochulukirapo kuti adziwe yanu zokonda.

Izi zonse ndizabwino. Zimakhalanso zofala, komabe, kwa anthu omwe ali pachibwenzi "kuiwala" mwachidule za anzawo.

Yesetsani kukumbukira kupatula nthawi yocheza ndi anzanu, inunso, m'malo mlole kuti chikondi chikusokonezeni.

Simukuvutikira kudzipereka chifukwa cha iwo

Poyamba kukhala mchikondi, mungamve kukhala odzipereka kwathunthu kwa mnzanu, wokonzeka kuchita chilichonse ndi chilichonse kuwathandiza kudutsamo kapena kungopangitsa moyo wawo kukhala wosavuta pang'ono.

Chisoni ndi kukonda kwanu komwe kukukula mwachangu kungalimbikitse chikhumbo chanu kuti mukhale nawo ndikuwathandiza momwe zingathere. Koma mahomoni okhudzana ndi chikondi nthawi zina amatha kusintha momwe mumapangira zisankho.

Ngati mukumva chilakolako chochita chinthu chomwe chingasokoneze kapena kusintha moyo wanu, khalani ndi nthawi yoganizira.

Pambuyo poganizira, mungafunenso kusiya ntchito yanu ndikupita ndi mnzanu kudziko lina. Koma onetsetsani kuti mukufunadi wekha, nayenso.

Nsembe zitha kukhala gawo la chikondi chilichonse. M'malo mwake, abwenzi omwe amagwira ntchito kuti akwaniritse zosowa za wina ndi mnzake atha kukhala ndi mgwirizano wolimba. Koma anthu omwe ali mchikondi amakhala ndi chizolowezi chobweza kutsogolo ndikupereka thandizo osaganizira kawiri.

Muli ndi chiwerewere chosangalatsa

Kugonana sikuyenera kukhala gawo la chibwenzi. Koma ikakhala, itha kutenga gawo lalikulu pakukonda wina.

Kukula kwa mahomoni omwe amakhudzidwa kumatha kukhudza zomwe mumachita zogonana, kukulitsa chidwi chanu kwa mnzanu komanso chidwi chomwe mumakumana nacho mukamagonana.

Mukayamba kukondana, kugonana kungathandizenso kukulitsa kuyandikira kwa wokondedwa wanu. Makina akuluakulu ogonana amatha kukupangitsani kumva bwino zakugonana ndikuwonjezera chikhumbo chanu kuti mukhalebe nacho. Kufuna kufufuzirana zogonana nthawi zambiri sikupweteka, mwina.

Mumawalimbikitsa

Kukhala mchikondi kumatha kukupangitsani kukhala kosavuta kukhazikitsa mikhalidwe yabwino ya mnzanu (kuthekera kwakukulu pakumvetsera, luso lanyimbo, kumwetulira kofunda) ndikuwonetsa pazosangalatsa (sizibweza zolemba nthawi yomweyo, kukopana ndi anzanu).

Zimakhala zachilendo kuganizira mbali yabwino kwambiri ya munthu mukamakondana. Koma nkofunikanso kuwonera mbendera zofiira kapena zosagwirizana za ubale.

Ngati anzanu akuuzani, ganizirani zomwe akunena. Sakukondana ndi wokondedwa wanu, choncho amakhala ndi malingaliro owonekera ndipo amatha kuwona zinthu zomwe mwaphonya.

Zomwe zimakhala ngati kukonda wokondedwa

Chikondi chimatenga mawonekedwe ambiri, ndipo chimatha kusintha pakapita nthawi. Izi ndi zina mwanjira zomwe malingaliro anu angasinthe mukamakonda wokondedwa wanu koma sizimverera kwenikweni mkati kondani nawo.

Ndinu otetezeka mu chikondi chawo

Mukayamba kukondana, simungangokhalira kukondera wokondedwa wanu koma mungafunenso kudzipereka nokha.

Mwachitsanzo, nthawi zonse mungayesetse kuwoneka bwino kwambiri. Kapenanso mumayesa kubisa zomwe mumakhulupirira kuti ndizolakwika zomwe zingakhumudwitse mnzanu.

Koma popita nthawi, pamene ubale wanu ukulimba, mutha kukhala omasuka kukhala nokha. Simukudandaula kuti adzakutayani mukasiya mbale mu sinki kapena kuyiwala kutulutsa zinyalala. Mumavomereza kuti nonse awiri mudzadzuka ndi mpweya wam'mawa.

Izi sizikutanthauza kuti simukuyesetsa kusunga chikondi ichi ndikuthandizira kuti chikule. Zimangotanthauza kuti mwasinthana kuti muwone zowona m'malo mwazomwe mungakonzekere wina ndi mnzake.

Simukumva kuti muyenera kubweza malingaliro anu

Ngati mukukondana ndi wina, ndikosavuta kutenga malingaliro awo kukhala anu. Nthawi zina mwina simukudziwa izi.

Mungapeze kukhala kosavuta kufotokoza zakukhosi kwanu ndi mnzanu amene mumamukonda komanso womasuka naye. Chikondi nthawi zambiri chimapereka lingaliro la chisungiko, chifukwa chake mwina simungamve ngati mukuyenera kubisa malingaliro anu kapena malingaliro anu kuti muteteze chibwenzicho.

Ngakhale mutakhala ndi mikangano yaying'ono, mukudziwa kuti mutha kuyankhulana.

Mukuwona (ndikuvomereza) zabwino ndi zochepa kuposa zabwino

Mnzanu, monga inu, ndi munthu wopanda ungwiro. Ali ndi mikhalidwe yabwino, zachidziwikire, zomwe mwina zidakuthandizani kuti muwakonde. Koma atha kukhala ndi mbali zina za umunthu kapena zizolowezi zomwe simukuziwona ngati zabwino kwambiri.

Ngakhale zinthu zomwe zimawoneka ngati zosangalatsa mukamayamba kukondana, monga momwe amatsukira mano awo pachitsime cha kukhitchini, zitha kukhala chinthu chomwe mumabuula ndikupukusa maso anu.

Kukonda winawake kumafuna kuti muwawonere kwathunthu ndikulandira ziwalo zawo zonse, monga momwe amakuwonerani ndikukuvomerezani nonse. Zolakwa zazing'ono nthawi zambiri sizikhala zofunikira pakapita nthawi.

Koma china chake chikakusowetsani mtendere, mwina mumakhala omasuka kuti munganene za icho ndikugwira ntchito yolimbikitsana ndikulimbikitsana kudzera mukukula.

Izi siziphatikizapo mbendera zofiira kwambiri kapena zizindikilo zakuzunza. Nthawi zonse funsani katswiri ngati nkhanza zilipo.

Ubwenzi wapamtima ungafune khama

Mukakondana kwambiri ndi mnzanuyo, mwina mumagonana nthawi zonse. Pomwe ubale wanu umakhazikika, mumakhalabe ogonana, koma mwina kangapo kapena pang'ono.

Nthawi yoyamba yomwe mumagona osagonana, kapena kugona nokha usiku, zitha kuwoneka ngati mwataya kena kake. Mutha kukhala ndi nkhawa kuti chibwenzi chikutha.

Koma nthawi zambiri izi zimangotanthauza kuti zofunikira pamoyo zakupangitsani kukhala kofunikira kupatula nthawi ndi wokondedwa wanu.Kugonana kumatha kuchitika pafupipafupi, koma kuyesetsa kwanu kuti mugwirizane kwambiri kumatha kupanga nthawi zabwinozo.

Chiyanjano chimatenga ntchito yambiri

Ndikosavuta kupereka ubale wanu zonse mukakhala mutu pachikondi. Ubwenzi ukhoza kuwoneka kuti ukuyenda bwino, ngakhale wopanda cholakwika, ndipo nonse a inu mukuwoneka kuti muli patsamba limodzi pazachilichonse.

Izi sizokhazikika pakapita nthawi. Potsirizira pake mungafunike kuika patsogolo mnzanu pang'ono kuti musamalire moyo watsiku ndi tsiku.

Kuchezera limodzi kungaoneke ngati kosavuta komanso kosavuta, makamaka nonse mukakhala otanganidwa kapena otopa. Koma chikondi chimatanthauza kuti mukuyesabe ndikuyesetsa kuwonetsa kuti mumawakonda.

Mukumva kulumikizidwa kwakukulu

Kukonda wina kumatha kukhala ndi kulumikizana kwamphamvu ndi kudalirana. Mumamudziwa mnzanuyo mokwanira kuti athetse zomwe amakonda ndi zomwe sakonda, malingaliro awo, ndi kuthekera kwawo popanda kulingalira.

Iwo mwina ndi anthu oyamba omwe mumafikirako mukakhumudwa komanso munthu woyamba amene mukufuna kugawana nawo zakupambana kwanu ndi zokhumba zanu. Ndinu gulu. Nthawi zina mutha kumverera ngati gawo limodzi.

Kodi wina wabwino kuposa winayo?

Chifukwa chake, mukudziwa kuti mumakonda wokondedwa wanu, koma mukuganiza kuti mwina simungakhale mkati kondanani nawo panonso.

Zonse zili bwino bwino. M'malo mwake, mutha kukhala omasuka kudziwa kuti mahomoni anu akhazikika pang'ono.

Anthu ena amakonda chisangalalo chokhala mchikondi. Ena amakonda kulumikizana kwapafupi, kozama komwe kumalumikizidwa ndi chikondi chanthawi yayitali. Anthu ambiri amayesetsa kukhala paubwenzi wanthawi yayitali pachifukwa chomwechi.

Zomwe mukufuna kuchokera pachibwenzi zitha kupangitsa kuti wina aziwoneka bwino kuposa mnzake, koma ubale wabwino ndiotheka.

ikusonyeza kuti anthu ambiri amasudzulana atayamba kukondana. Koma osamvanso mkati chikondi sichitanthauza kuti muyenera kusiya wokondedwa wanu kapena kuti ubale wanu watha. Zimangotanthauza kuti mungafunikire kuyesetsa pang'ono kuti mukwaniritse zinthu.

Kodi mutha kubwerera kukondana ndi munthu wina?

Mutha kukhala achisoni kapena achisoni ngati mukuwona kuti ubale wanu wataya "mphamvu" yokhudzana ndikukondana. Mwina mukufuna kuti zogonana zizichitika zokha, kapena musangalale kuwona mnzanu m'malo momangokhala bwino.

Kuyankhula ndi mlangizi wa ubale kungakuthandizeni kuyambiranso kumverera kokondana, koma malangizowo amathanso kuthandizira:

• Pitirizani kukhala ndi chidwi ndi malingaliro awo ndi momwe akumvera. Musaiwale za kulembetsa tsiku ndi tsiku. Funsani momwe tsiku lawo likuyendera, onetsetsani kuti mumamvetsera kuyankha kwawo.
• Ikani nthawi limodzi, kuphatikiza kukondana. Izi zitha kutanthauza kusiya ntchito mwansanga kapena kutenga cheke chapa mapulani ndi makanemawa ndi mnzanu.
• Musaiwale ntchito zosamalira. Ganizirani zaubwenzi wanu ngati galimoto yomwe mumadalira popita ndi kubwerera kuntchito. Kuti mupitirize, muyenera kusintha mafuta nthawi zonse, kusinthasintha matayala, ndi zina zotero. Patsani ubale wanu pafupipafupi mwa kuyesetsa kulankhulana momasuka ndikupatsana chikondi. Izi siziyenera kukhala zazikulu, zowonetsa pamwamba. Kupsompsona kuwalandira kunyumba kungapite kutali.

Mfundo yofunika

Mutatha kupitilira magawo oyamba a kutengeka, malingaliro anu kwa wokondedwa wanu sangakhale ochepa. Mwina simungalakalaka kukhala nawo m'njira yofananira. M'malo mwake, mutha kusangalala ndi nthawi yopatukana.

Osadandaula. Izi ndi zabwinobwino, ndipo siziyenera kutchula kutha kwa zinthu.

Chikondi chokhalitsa chimaphatikizapo kudzipereka. Ngati inu ndi mnzanu mumayesetsa kusunga mgwirizano wanu, osachepera, mutha kukhala ndi ubale wolimba. Ndipo mungasunge izi mwachikondi kuti muzimva amoyo, inunso.

Crystal Raypole adagwirapo ntchito ngati wolemba komanso mkonzi wa GoodTherapy. Magawo ake achidwi akuphatikiza zilankhulo ndi mabuku aku Asia, kumasulira kwachijapani, kuphika, sayansi yachilengedwe, chiyembekezo chogonana, komanso thanzi lamaganizidwe. Makamaka, akudzipereka kuthandiza kuchepetsa manyazi pazokhudza matenda amisala.