Kachilombo ka Cancer Survivor's Tinder Response Anapita Kachilombo. Koma Pali Zambiri pa Nkhani Yake

Zamkati

• Tsoka ilo, Jared adaganiza zonyalanyaza zomwe amaphunzitsidwa ndikuwirikiza kawiri m'malo mwake.
• Anali ndi zaka 25 zokha panthawiyo ndipo, ndizomveka, sanaganize kuti ali ndi khansa nthawi yomweyo.
• "Ndipo ndidatha kudziuza ndekha, 'Imani molunjika - {textend} mudakali inu mkati.'"
• Kuchita zibwenzi, nayenso, akuyang'ana kutsogolo - {textend} koma sadzasokonezanso pachibwenzi.

“Ukudziwa chiyani, Jared? Yankho la funso lanu ndi ayi. Ndilibe 't * ts' konse. "

Ndizodziwika bwino kuti zibwenzi pa intaneti zitha kubweretsa zodabwitsazi - {textend} anthu omwe ali maubwenzi akudziyesa osakwatira, achinyengo omwe amafuna ndalama, malo anu osiyanasiyana amizimu.

Mu Julayi, wazaka 26 wazaka zapakati pa khansa ya m'mawere Krista Dunzy adakumana ndi kunyozedwa komanso kusalongosoka kwa "machesi" m'mawu ake oyamba.

Mnyamata wina dzina lake Jared adaganiza kuti mzere woyamba wa Dunzy ukhale, "Muli ndi vuto lalikulu?"

Dunzy, yemwe anali ndi chiberekero chowirikiza kawiri ngati gawo la chithandizo chake cha khansa chaka chatha, adaganiza zosazisiya osakhazikika Jared ndikuyesera kuti apange mphindi yophunzitsika.

“Ukudziwa chiyani, Jared?” adayankha. “Yankho la funso lanu ndi lakuti ayi. Ndilibe 'amisala' konse. ” Adawulula mbiri yake ya khansa ndikufotokozera zamankhwala ake - {textend} 16 chemotherapy komanso njira ya mwezi umodzi ya radiation, kuphatikiza pa opaleshoni.

Kudzera @KristaDunzy pa Twitter.

"Pakadali pano ndili ndi zokulitsa minofu m'chifuwa mwanga," adatero, ponena za kumangidwanso kwa postmastectomy, "zomwe zitha kusinthidwa ndikulowetsa munjira. Kodi mukudziwa kuti zinali bwanji kuti ndiwerenge uthengawu kuchokera kwa inu? ”

"Chonde ganizirani zinthu musanazinene," adamulimbikitsa. "Ndikukhulupirira kuti ngati muli ndi mwana wamkazi, samalandira mauthenga ngati awa."

Tsoka ilo, Jared adaganiza zonyalanyaza zomwe amaphunzitsidwa ndikuwirikiza kawiri m'malo mwake.

Adatcha Dunzy "wopusa" komanso "wopenga," ponena kuti sanawerenge uthenga wake, ndikumulangiza kuti "asiye kuchita zachikazi," ndikuwonjezera kuti, "Ndipanga malamulo anga" - {textend} china chake, pa Komabe, samafuna Dunzy kumunena kuti ali ndi ufulu wochita.

Pakadali pano, Dunzy anali atakhuta. Adawunikira kusinthana kwa anthu pagulu pa Facebook, ndikulimbikitsa ena kuti agawane ndikupanga hashtag #dontdatejared.

Zolemba zake zidafalikira ndipo zidagawidwa nthawi zopitilira 2,000.

"Anthu ena anandiuza," Ndi Tinder. Unayembekezera chiyani? '”Dunzy akukumbukira. “Yankho ndilakuti, ndikuyembekeza ulemu wamba. Simuyenera kufunsa aliyense kuti. Tonse tiyenera kuchitira anthu zabwino kuposa izi. ”

Ananenanso kuti ngati Jared akanapereka "moni" woyamba koma kenako nkubwerera pambuyo poyankha, iyenso akadasiya nkhaniyi.

"Kunena zowona, sinali ngakhale mzere wake woyamba womwe unandipangitsa kufuna kuchita izi," akutero. "Anali mayankho ake pazomwe ndidamuuza. Akadatha kusiya zonse ndikamuyankha, koma adakana. ”

Pokumana ndi Dunzy kuti tikambirane za nthawi yake yowonekera kwambiri, tinapeza mtsikana wanzeru kuposa zaka zake, ndikuzama kuti 'gawo la Jared' lingangonena.

Dunzy ndi Native American - {textend} membala wa Muscogee Creek Nation, ku Oklahoma. Amagwira ntchito kulikulu la Tribe ku Okmulgee, Oklahoma, ngati wolandila alendo pulogalamu yake yoletsa zachiwawa m'banja. Pulogalamuyi imathandizanso anthu amtundu wathu komanso omwe si Native nthawi zina akamazunzidwa, kuzunzidwa kwa ana, komanso kuzunzidwa.

Dunzy anati: “Inenso ndakumanapo ndi nkhanza za m'banja komanso kugwiriridwa, choncho kugwira ntchito kuno ndiko kofunika kwambiri kwa ine. Kudzera mu ntchito yanga, ndaphunzira kuti 84.3% ya Amayi Amwenye amakumana ndi nkhanza pamoyo wawo. . . izi ndi zomwe tiyenera kusintha. "

Ngakhale adayesedwa kuti alibe kachilombo ka HIV kamene kamayambitsa chiopsezo cha khansa ya m'mawere, Dunzy ali ndi mbiri ya banja ya matendawa. Amayi ake adadwala khansa ya m'mawere zaka zingapo zapitazo, ndipo msuweni wapafupi adamwalira ndi matendawa.

"Anamwalira chaka chimodzi ndi tsiku limodzi ndisanapimidwe," akutero Dunzy.

Matenda a amayi ake adalimbikitsa Dunzy kuti asinthe kwambiri pamoyo wake. Adakhala ndi mnzake chaka chimodzi ndi theka pomwe amayi ake adalandira nkhaniyi, koma chibwenzicho chinali chomuzunza.

Dunzy anati: “Mayi anga anapezeka ndi matendawa, ndipo patangotha ​​mlungu umodzi kapena iŵiri ndinali nditasamuka. "Ndinazindikira kuti ndinali ndi ngongole ndi amayi anga. Ndinafunika kuyima ndekha, monga momwe adandiphunzitsira. ”

Potengera mbiri ya banja lake, madotolo a Dunzy adamulangiza kuti azidziyesa mabere nthawi zonse. Chimodzi mwazomwezi chidapangitsa kuti apeze khansa m'mawere ake akumanja.

"Ndinkagona pabedi usiku wina ndipo ndinamva ngati ndikufunika kuchita izi, ndikufunika kuti ndiyang'ane," akutero. "Ndipo ndapeza chotupa."

Anali ndi zaka 25 zokha panthawiyo ndipo, ndizomveka, sanaganize kuti ali ndi khansa nthawi yomweyo.

Iye anati: “Ndinkadikira milungu kuti ndichite kalikonse. “Ndinkangodzikhululukira, podziwa kuti mwina ndi zinthu zina. Koma kenako ndidauza amayi anga, ndipo adandiwuza momveka bwino - {textend} adandiuza - {textend} osadikirira kuti ayang'ane. ”

Dunzy atangoyendetsa mawilo, zinthu zinayenda mwachangu: Panali masiku asanu okha pakati pa kusankhidwa ndi GP wake za chotupa ndi matenda ake a khansa ya m'mawere, mu Marichi 2018.

Pambuyo pake, komabe, kudikirira kudafika pomwe Dunzy ndi madotolo ake amafufuza momwe angadziwire.

"Choyipa chachikulu chinali kusadziwa matenda anga komanso gawo langa," akukumbukira. "Ndidadikira sabata kuti ndimve izi."

Pambuyo pakuwunikanso komanso kuyesa, madotolo adamuwuza kuti khansayo inali gawo lachiwiri ndipo ndi yabwino kwa ma estrogen receptors ("oyatsidwa" ndi estrogen, zomwe zingakhudze zomwe angalandire Dunzy)

Atayamba chemo, Dunzy adapeza kuti malingaliro ake amapita kwa msuwani wake wokondedwa, yemwe moyo wake udafupikitsidwa ndi khansa ya m'mawere.

"Ndidamva kulumikizana kwambiri ndi iye, pafupi naye," akukumbukira. “Ndidaganizira zomwe adakumana nazo. Inali munjira yovuta kwambiri, komanso yauzimu. Zinthu zachiphamaso zinatha. Ndinadziwona ndekha osachepera, nditachotsedwa kwambiri - {textend} wopanda tsitsi, mulibe nsidze kapena nsidze.

"Ndipo ndidatha kudziuza ndekha, 'Imani molunjika - {textend} mudakali inu mkati.'"

Monga momwe zimakhalira ndimavuto azaumoyo, maubwenzi ena a Dunzy adalimbikitsidwa pomwe adakumana ndi mavuto, pomwe ena adagwa.

"Khansa idandibweretsera kuwunika kambiri," akutero, "ndipo malingaliro amapezedwa ndi zokumana nazo. Anthu ena anali opambana pachilichonse. Ena sanathe kuthana nawo. ”

Mosasamala kanthu momwe wina aliyense amayankhira, ubale wa Dunzy ndi iye udalimbikitsidwa kwambiri ndi zomwe adakumana nazo. Iye anati: “Ndimadzidziwa bwino kuposa mmene anthu ena amadzidziwira pa msinkhu uliwonse.

Ponena zamtsogolo, zolinga za Dunzy ndi zake zokha komanso dera lake.

Anapuma pang'ono atamaliza maphunziro ake kusekondale koma akufuna kupitiliza. "Ndikufuna kubwerera kusukulu ndikupitiliza kugwirira ntchito fuko langa," akutero. “Ndikufuna kuthandiza azimayi ena. Ndikufuna kugwiritsa ntchito chidziwitso changa komanso kumvera ena chisoni kuthandiza ena. ”

Kuchita zibwenzi, nayenso, akuyang'ana kutsogolo - {textend} koma sadzasokonezanso pachibwenzi.

Ndipo kwa Dunzy, izi sizikutanthauza kungoyimirira "Jareds" wapadziko lapansi, koma kubwera kuchokera kumalo okonda kudzikonda, osatengera momwe ena amulandirira.

Iye anati: “Cholinga changa ndicho kukhala popanda ine kupepesa,” akutero. “Tsopano, ndingakhale wokondwa kukwatiwa ndi mnzanga wapamtima ndipo ali ndi banja. Koma choyamba ndikufuna kuti ndidzidziwe bwino. ”

Zovuta zomwe wakumana nazo zikuwopseza kuti ziphimba tsogolo lake komanso zamtsogolo, Dunzy amayesetsa kuti akumane nawo.

Iye anati: “Ndimachita manyazi ndi chibwenzi, chifukwa cha zomwe ndakumana nazo m'mbuyomu. "Koma ndimapezanso chisangalalo ndi kukongola m'zonse, mwa zina chifukwa cha zomwe ndakumana nazo."

Ndipo pambuyo pa zonse zomwe adapirira, kulimba mtima kwake kumawala.

“Ndimadzipatsa ulemu,” akuwonjezera motero, “ngakhale pamene wina sakudziŵa.”

Pamela Rafalow Grossman amakhala ndipo amalemba ku Brooklyn, New York. Ntchito yake idasindikizidwa mu "Village Voice," Salon.com, "Ms." magazini, Time.com, Self.com, ndi malo ena ogulitsira. Ndiwopulumuka wazaka 11 wa khansa ya m'mawere ndipo amagwira ntchito m'mabungwe othandizira odwala.