Kupeza Kukhala Wathanzi Kunandibweretsera Kuchokera Paziphuphu Zodzipha

Zamkati

• Onaninso za

Ndili ndi nkhawa komanso nkhawa, ndinayang'ana pawindo la nyumba yanga ku New Jersey ndikuwona anthu onse akuyenda mosangalala m'miyoyo yawo. Ndinadzifunsa kuti ndikhala bwanji mkaidi m’nyumba yanga. Kodi ndinafika bwanji kumalo amdimawa? Kodi moyo wanga unali utapita kutali bwanji ndi njanji? Ndipo ndingathe bwanji kumaliza zonsezi?

Ndizowona. Ndinafika poona kuti ndinali wosimidwa kwambiri moti ndinkangoganizira zodzipha—kaŵirikaŵiri kuposa mmene ndimafunira kuvomereza. Malingaliro adandigwera. Zomwe zidayamba ngati malingaliro amdima pang'onopang'ono zidayamba kukhala mdima wandiweyani womwe udatenga malingaliro anga onse. Zomwe ndimatha kuganiza zinali momwe ndimadzida ndekha komanso moyo wanga. Ndipo ndimafuna kuti zonse zithe. Sindinaoneponso njira ina yopulumukira kuchisoni ndi zowawazo.

Kukhumudwa kwanga kunayamba ndi mavuto am'banja. Pamene ine ndi mwamuna wanga woyamba tinakumana, zinthu zinali zachikondi-chithunzi. Tsiku la ukwati wathu linali limodzi mwa masiku osangalatsa kwambiri m’moyo wanga ndipo ndinkaona kuti chinali chiyambi chabe cha moyo wautali komanso wokongola kwambiri. Sindinkaganiza kuti ndife opanda ungwiro, koma ndinaganiza kuti tithana. Ming'aluyo inayamba kuwonekera pafupifupi nthawi yomweyo. Sizinali zochuluka kwambiri kuti tinali ndi mavuto-maanja onse ali ndi mavuto, sichoncho? - ndimomwe tidawachitira. Kapena, m'malo mwake, momwe ife sanatero kuthana nawo. M'malo mongolankhula ndikumangopitilira, tinkasesa chilichonse pansi pa rug ndikumayesa kuti palibe chomwe chalakwika. (Nawa zokambirana zitatu zomwe muyenera kukhala nazo musananene kuti "Ndikutero.")

Potsirizira pake, mulu wa nkhani pansi pa chigudulicho unakula kwambiri, unakhala phiri.

Pamene miyezi inkapitirira komanso mavuto adakula, ndidayamba kumva kuti sindimva bwino. Phokoso loyera linadzaza m’maganizo mwanga, sindinathe kuika maganizo anga, ndipo sindinkafuna kuchoka panyumba kapena kuchita zinthu zimene ndinkasangalala nazo. Sindinazindikire kuti ndinali wokhumudwa. Panthawiyo, zomwe ndimaganiza ndikuti ndimamira ndipo palibe amene angazione. Ngati mwamuna wanga wakale adazindikira kuti ndikumva chisoni, sanatchulepo (za ubale wathu) ndipo sanandithandize. Ndinadzimva kukhala wotayika komanso wosungulumwa. Apa m’pamene maganizo ofuna kudzipha anayamba.

Komabe ngakhale zinthu zinali zoyipa kwambiri, ndinali wofunitsitsa kuyesa kupulumutsa banja langa. Chisudzulo sichinali chinthu chomwe ndimafuna kuti ndilingalire. Ndinaganiza, kudzera mu chifunga changa cha kukhumudwa, kuti vuto lenileni linali loti sindinali wokwanira kwa iye. Mwina, ndinaganiza, ngati ndikanakhala wokwanira ndi wokongola adzandiwona mwanjira ina, momwe ankandiyang'anira, ndipo chikondi chimabwereranso. Sindinakhalepo wathanzi kale ndipo sindinadziwe komwe ndiyambira. Zomwe ndinkadziwa n’zakuti sindinkafunabe kukumana ndi anthu. Chifukwa chake ndidayamba kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi ndikuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi kunyumba ndi pulogalamu pafoni yanga.

Sanachite-mwina momwe sindinapangire poyamba. Ndinayamba kulimba komanso kulimba koma amuna anga amakhala kutali. Koma ngakhale kuti sizinamuthandize kundikonda kwambiri, pamene ndinkapitirizabe kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi, ndinayamba kuzindikira pang’onopang’ono kuti zimandithandiza ine kukonda ndekha. Kudzidalira kwanga kunali kulibe kwa zaka zambiri. Koma pamene ndinayesetsa kwambiri, m’pamenenso ndinayamba kuona tinthu ting’onoting’ono tating’onoting’ono ta akale anga.

Pambuyo pake, ndinalimba mtima kuyesa china chake kunja kwa nyumba yanga - kalasi yamasewera olimbitsa thupi ovina. Chinali chinachake chomwe nthawi zonse chinkawoneka chosangalatsa kwa ine ndipo chinakhala chophulika (chifukwa chake muyenera kuyesanso chimodzi). Ndinayamba kupita ku makalasi kangapo pamlungu. Koma panali gawo limodzi lake lomwe ndimavutikira nalo: magalasi apansi mpaka padenga. Ndinkadana nazo kuyang'ana mwa iwo. Ndinkadana nazo zonse zokhudza ine ndekha, kunja ndi mkati. Koma pang'ono ndi pang'ono ndinali kupita patsogolo.

Patatha pafupifupi miyezi isanu ndi umodzi, wophunzitsa wanga adabwera kwa ine ndikundiuza kuti ndimachita bwino pantchitoyo ndipo ndiyenera kuganizira zokhala mphunzitsi. Ndinadabwa kwambiri. Koma m'mene ndimaganizira za izi, ndidazindikira kuti adawona china chake chapadera mwa ine chomwe sindinachichite-ndipo choyenera kutsatira.

Chifukwa chake ndidaphunzitsidwa kulimbitsa thupi ndikukhala mphunzitsi, nditazindikira kuti ndili ndi chidwi chenicheni, osati cha mtundu umodzi wokha wa kulimbitsa thupi komanso kulimbitsa thupi. Ndinkakonda kuphunzitsa anthu komanso kuwalimbikitsa komanso kuwalimbikitsa pamaulendo awo. Ndinkakonda vuto loyesera zinthu zatsopano.Koma koposa zonse ndimakonda momwe thukuta labwino linazimitsira phokoso muubongo wanga ndikundithandiza kuti ndipeze mphindi yakumveka komanso yamtendere mu zomwe zidakhala zovuta kwambiri. Pomwe ndimaphunzitsa, sindinadandaule za banja langa lolephera kapena china chilichonse. Palibe chomwe chidasintha kunyumba-makamaka, zinthu zinafika poipa kwambiri pakati pa mwamuna wanga ndi ine-komabe ku bwalo lochitira masewera olimbitsa thupi ndimadzimva kuti ndili ndi mphamvu, ndili ndi mphamvu, komanso wokondwa.

Pasanapite nthawi, ndinaganiza zopeza maphunziro anga aumwini ndi magulu olimba kuti ndikhoze kuphunzitsa makalasi ambiri, monga masewera a nkhonya ndi barre. Mkalasi yanga yophunzitsa satifiketi ndidakumana ndi a Maryelizabeth, mkazi wamasiye yemwe adakhala mnzake wapamtima. Tinaganiza zotsegula The Underground Trainers, situdiyo yophunzitsira anthu ku Rutherford, NJ, tonse. Nthawi yomweyo, ine ndi amuna anga tidasiyana.

Ngakhale ndinali wokhumudwa ndi banja langa, masiku anga akale, amdima, osungulumwa anali ndi cholinga komanso kuwala. Ndidapeza mayitanidwe anga ndipo anali othandizira ena. Monga munthu yemwe ankavutika ndi kupsinjika maganizo, ndinapeza kuti ndinali ndi luso lozindikira chisoni mwa ena, ngakhale pamene amayesa kubisala kumbuyo kwa nkhope yosangalatsa, monga momwe ndimakhalira nthawi zonse. Kutha kumvetsetsa kumeneku kunandipanga mphunzitsi wabwino. Ndimatha kumvetsetsa momwe kulimbitsa thupi kunali kochulukirapo kuposa kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi kosavuta. Zinali zokhuza kupulumutsa moyo wanu. (Nazi mapindu 13 otsimikiziridwa a m'maganizo a kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi.) Tinaganiza zopanga mwambi wa bizinesi yathu "Moyo ndi wovuta koma momwemonso" kuti tifikire kwa ena omwe angakhale m'mikhalidwe yovuta mofananamo.

Mu November 2016, chisudzulo changa chinatha, kutseka gawo losasangalatsa la moyo wanga. Ndipo ngakhale sindidzanena kuti "ndachiritsidwa" ku kupsinjika maganizo kwanga, kumachepetsedwa kwambiri. Masiku ano, nthawi zambiri ndimakhala wosangalala kuposa momwe ndimakhalira. Ndafika patali, pafupifupi sindimamuzindikira mkazi yemwe zaka zingapo zapitazo anali ndi malingaliro odzipha. Posachedwa ndidaganiza zokumbukira ulendo wanga wobwerera kuchokera pamphepete ndi tattoo. Ndili ndi mawu oti "kumwetulira" olembedwa kalembedwe, m'malo mwa "i" ndi ";". Semicolon ikuyimira Project Semicolon, ntchito yapadziko lonse yodziwitsa anthu zaumoyo yomwe cholinga chake ndikuchepetsa zochitika zodzipha komanso kuthandiza omwe ali ndi vuto la matenda amisala. Ndinatenga mawu oti "kumwetulira" kuti ndikumbukire kuti alipo nthawi zonse chifukwa chomwetulira tsiku lililonse, ndimangofunika kuchiyang'ana. Ndipo masiku ano, zifukwa sizovuta kupeza.

Onaninso za