Upangiri wa Insider pakugona ndi Mkazi Wina Koyamba

Zamkati

• Fi (n) Adzatuluka
• Tengani Iwo Kummwera
• Mangani, Mangani
• Onjezani Bulu (Ngati Mukufuna!)
• Yesani
• Sewerani Otetezeka
• Osaziganizira
• Masitepe Otsatira
• Onaninso za

Nchiyani "chofunikira" monga kugonana ndi mkazi wina? Ili ndilo funso lodziwika kwambiri lomwe ndimapeza anthu akadziwa kuti ndimagona ndi anthu ena omwe ali ndi maliseche. Zosokoneza pang'ono komanso zamwano, zedi-koma ndikuzimva. Tikukhala m'gulu lomwe limalimbikitsa kugonana ngati "P-in-V".

Sikuti ndi 100% yokha yomwe ingatheke kugonana ndi mkazi wina kapena mwiniwake wa maliseche, koma palinso njira zingapo zogonana ndi mkazi wina. "Zili kwa anthu omwe akuchita chiwerewere kuti adziwe ngati kugonana kapena ayi. Kwa ena, atha kukhala kugonana mkamwa, kwa ena kutha kuseweretsa maliseche," akufotokoza katswiri wazakugonana Megan Stubbs, Ed.D. "Palibe mabokosi omwe amafunikira kufufuzidwa kuti chinachake chikhale chogonana. Koma pali mabokosi ambiri omwe mungasankhe!"

Ndipo zidziwike kuti, pamene "kugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha" kumatanthawuza kugonana pakati pa akazi awiri kapena anthu omwe ali ndi maliseche, simukuyenera kuzindikira kuti ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha kuti musangalale ndi kugonana kwa akazi ndi akazi. Mwina mumakonda amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, mwina ndinu ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, kapena mwina mukungotsatira vibe yomwe imamveka bwino. (FYI: Kafukufuku wa 2016 adawonetsa kuti azimayi ambiri amagonana ndi azimayi kuposa kale.)

Poganizira izi, bukuli likukhudza zochitika zina zogonana zomwe zimachitika pakati pa anthu awiri omwe ali ndi nyini. Mpukutu pansi kuti mudziwe zomwe muyenera kudziwa zokhudza kugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha komanso momwe mungachitire motetezeka.

Fi (n) Adzatuluka

Monga zinthu zonse zogonana, aliyense ndi wosiyana. Anthu ena amafuna kugwedezeka mwamphamvu komanso mwachangu pa clitoris, pomwe ena amakonda kusisita milomo yawo yakunja pang'onopang'ono kapena G-spot. Ndicho chifukwa chake, ngakhale kukumana kwanu koyamba ndi maliseche ndi nyini kapena 2000th yanu, muyenera kupita mmenemo ndi malingaliro oyamba. Funsani mafunso! Lembetsani! Samalani momwe mnzanuyo amayankhira mukakhudza ndikusintha kukakamiza kwanu ndi maluso anu moyenera.

Ngati (ndipo pokhapokha ngati) mnzanu akuwonetsa kuti akufuna kulowa, musawope kuyika manja anu mmenemo. Ndipo ndi manja, ndikutanthauza imodzi chala. Yambani pang'onopang'ono. Sungani zala chimodzi (mwina ziwiri) pambali pake mpaka atadzola mafuta, kenako muziyika pang'onopang'ono, kenako mwachangu. Sinthani pakati pa mayimbidwe awiriwo ndikumufunsa zomwe akufuna. "Musalole kuti kudzikonda kwanu kuwonongeke ngati mnzanuyo akunena kuti sakukonda nyimbo yanu," akutero Stubbs. "Ingoyesani china." Ngati ndinu owonera, mutha kuwafunsa kuti akuwonetseni momwe amakonda kuseweretsa maliseche. (Zogwirizana: Malangizo Akuseweretsa Maliseche a Solo Sesh)

Mwina mwamvapo-kapena mukudziwa kuchokera pazomwe mwakumana nazo-kuti G-banga ikhoza kukhala yosangalatsa kwa azimayi ena. Wolemba zachiwerewere Logan Levkoff Ph.D. adanena kale Maonekedwe kuti G-Spot ili pafupi mainchesi awiri pakhoma lakutsogolo la nyini; mudzamva dera lomwe khungu limasinthira kuchoka pakusalala kupita kubampu kapena siponji. Ngati mukumva izi mwa mnzanu, pitilizani kupanga "bwerani kuno". Onani momwe mnzanu akuyankhira.

PSA: Chepetsani misomali yanu. Zokonda za aliyense za misomali yake ndizosiyana, koma ngati mukufuna kulowa mwaumunthu munthu wokhala ndi nyini, ndiye kuti misomali yosalala, yopanda miyala, ndi misomali yayifupi imakonda. Nyini ndi nyini ndizovuta ndipo palibe chomwe chimasokoneza mawonekedwe ake ngati zikande. Uwu.

Tengani Iwo Kummwera

Kwa amayi ambiri, gawo lovuta kwambiri kugona ndi mkazi wina ndi kugonana m'kamwa. Nkhani yabwino: "Sizovuta kwambiri," akutero Jess Melendez, mphunzitsi wa zachiwerewere ku O.school. "Ndizabwino kwambiri kuposa momwe mungaganizire, ndipo kulumikizana kumathandizira."

Kubetcha kwanu ndikuyamba pang'onopang'ono. Tsanzirani njira yanu kumwera. Mpsompsoneni ndi kunyambita ntchafu za mnzanu, chiuno, paliponse. Wokondedwa wanu akakonzeka (zomwe mungadziwe pofunsa kuti, "Kodi ndingakulawe tsopano?" kapena "Mukufuna chiyani?"), Pogwiritsa ntchito lilime kapena zala zanu mungathe kugawanitsa labia yakunja. Kutengera mawonekedwe amnzanu, izi zitha kukuthandizani kuti mupeze zomwe amakonda. (Zogwirizana: Nazi Momwe Mungayankhulire Oda Osakhumudwa)

Wokonzeka? Kunyambita njira yanu mmwamba ndi pansi pa labia."Poyamba, pewani kulumikizana mwachindunji ndi clit chifukwa imatha kukhala yovuta kwambiri, ndipo m'malo mwake nyambirani mozungulira," akuwonetsa Stubbs.

Tsopano, sangalalani. Sinthani kukakamizidwa. Lembani dzina lanu m'matemberero ndi lilime lanu (mozama, limagwira ntchito). Sungani lilime lanu mozungulira. Kenako muziyendetsa pambali kapena kukwera kapena kutsika. Pamene mukuyesa, samalani momwe mnzanuyo akuchitira. Ndipo afunseni zomwe amakonda. "Kodi mumakonda izi kapena izi?" kapena "Mofulumira kapena pang'onopang'ono?" Zikayamba kumva bwino, mudzadziwa.

Mangani, Mangani

Sikuti kugonana konse kumakhala kosalolera, ndipo kuyambitsa zingwe mumasewera anu ndizotheka ayi chofunika. M'malo mwake, "si onse omwe ali ndi maliseche omwe amasangalala ndi kugonana komweko kapena omwe amakhala omasuka kuyesa ndi zingwe," akutero a Melendez. "Ndipo zili bwino! Ndiye chifukwa chake muyenera kukambirana momasuka ndi wokondedwa wanu."

Ngati nonse mukufuna kuyesa kugonana ndi amuna kapena akazi anzanu, zikuwonetseratu pang'ono chifukwa mungafune kulumikizana ndi dildo (ndi lube!). Ngati simunapite kukagula dildo: Monga ma vibrator, amabwera mosiyanasiyana ndi makulidwe osiyanasiyana. Ena ali ndi phallic kwambiri ndipo ali ndi mitsempha ndipo amakhala ndi khungu pomwe ena amakhala othwanima kapena utawaleza komanso osakumbukira mbolo. (Zambiri apa: Zoseweretsa Zabwino Kwambiri Za Akazi Pa Amazon)

"Yambani ndi silicone dildo (kusiyana ndi galasi) chifukwa idzayenda ndi thupi lanu," akutero Melendez. "Ngati mungathe, pitani ku shopu yogonana chifukwa masitolo ambiri amakulolani kuti muwakhudze ndikuwamva musanawagule." Ndipo yambani pang'ono. Musalole kuti maso anu akhale aakulu kuposa, chabwino, nyini yanu. "Yang'anani pa girth ndikuganiza ngati mumakonda kumva kukhuta kapena ayi, kapena mumakonda kukhala olimba," akutero.

Palinso mitundu yonse ya ma harnesses. "Pazingwe zanu zoyamba, ndikupangira imodzi yomwe ingasinthidwe komanso kuti mitundu ingapo ya thupi igwiritse ntchito," akutero Melendez. (Mwachitsanzo, mutha kulandira zambiri ndi mahatchi amtundu wa nkhonya, koma mutha kukupeza kuti muli ndi mphamvu zambiri mukamagwiritsa ntchito zingwe zamagetsi.)

Muli ndi zida zanu. Tsopano chiani? Ngati ndinu munthu amene wavala zingwe kapena cholowera, Stubbs amapereka malangizo otsatirawa: “Yesetsani kuchita zinthu zolimbikira pasadakhale. Siziyenera kukhala zopusa. Ingozolowerani kumva, kulemera kwake. nayo."

Komanso: Pitani pang'onopang'ono, gwiritsani ntchito luba, ndipo mupatseni mnzanuyo nthawi kuti akuzolowerani. "Khalani okonzeka kuyima ndikusintha ngati mnzanu akuwonetsa kuti sakumva bwino kapena akufotokozera zosowa zosiyanasiyana," akutero Stubbs. (Apa: Chilichonse Chimene Muyenera Kudziwa Zokhudza Lube).

Ngati ndinu mnzanu amene mukuvutitsidwa, perekani ndemanga. "Musaope kunena mawu panthawi yogonana. Lumikizanani ndi mnzanu. Zimakhala bwino? Kodi mumakonda kuya? Kukula kwake?" akutero Stubbs.

Nthawi yanu yoyamba kugonana ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ndi lamba ikhoza kukhala chinthu chabwino kwambiri padziko lapansi. Koma zimathanso kuwoneka ngati zopusa komanso zosokoneza (monga pafupifupi kugonana koyamba, akazi okhaokha kapena ayi). Ndizachilendo; pali njira yophunzirira.

Onjezani Bulu (Ngati Mukufuna!)

Inde, butt ili ndi (ahem) kugwiranso. Kusewera kumatako si chinthu chomwe aliyense adakumana nacho kapena akufuna kuchitapo kanthu, kotero ndikofunikira kuwonetsetsa kuti mnzanuyo ali nacho musanalowemo, atero Alicia Sinclair Sex Educator & CEO wa b-Vibe.

Sinclair akuti: "Yesani kuseka masaya a mnzanu ndikuphwanya kaye pang'ono manja anu ndi kuwalola kuti azidalira zosangalatsa zatsopano komanso magawo azisangalalo." "Monga vulva, pali matani a mitsempha yomveka kunja kwa thupi." (Werengani izi ngati mukudabwa ngati kugonana kumatako kumapweteka.)

Ngati mnzanu amakonda kutengeka ndi zala zanu, mutha kuwafunsa ngati angafune kumva lilime lanu, kapena kugwiritsa ntchito pulagi yamatako. Sinclair anati: “Kupiringirira, kupsompsona, kapena kulira kumatako kumatha kumva bwino. Yesani kusuntha chala kapena lilime lanu mbali zosiyanasiyana (kugwedeza, kuzungulira, ndi zina zotero) ndipo fufuzani ndi mnzanuyo zomwe zikuyenda bwino. (Zokhudzana: 12 Zokhudza Kugonana kumatako kuchokera ku An Insider)

Pambuyo pake, inu ndi mnzanuyo mutha kumaliza kugwiritsa ntchito pulagi (Sinclair yomwe amakonda kwambiri ndi Novice Plug) koma zili bwino ngati simufikako nthawi yoyamba kugona limodzi (kapena konse).

Yesani

Zomwe zili pamwambazi sizinthu zokha zomwe inu ndi mnzanu mungachite. Mutha kuyesa kusisita, kung'ung'udza, kusewerera mabele, kukwapula ndi BDSM, kusisita kolaula, nkhonya, kapena kuseweretsa maliseche pafupi ndi mnzake. "Pali mitundu yambiri yamasewera," akutero Melendez.

"Chitani zomwe mukuwona kuti ndi zabwino, osachita zomwe sizikuwoneka bwino," akutero katswiri wa LGBTQ+ komanso wogwira ntchito zachitukuko Kryss Shane, L.M.S.W. Kungakhale kosavuta kukayikira ngati mukuyenera "kuchita" kanthu koyamba kugonana ndi mkazi wina, kapena ngati chinthu china "choyenera" ngati kugonana, koma izi zingakutulutseni munthawiyo ndikulowa m'malingaliro anu , zomwe zingakuchotsereni (ndi mnzanu!) chisangalalo chakugonana.

"Chitani zonse zomwe mungathe kuti mukhalepo komanso kuti mukhale omasuka pazomwe zikuchitika kuti muthe kufufuza zatsopano komanso munthu uyu," akutero Shane.

Sewerani Otetezeka

Pali malingaliro olakwika akuti kugonana ndi mkazi wina ndiko kugonana kotetezeka. "Inu kwathunthu angathe kutenga matenda opatsirana pogonana pogona ndi mkazi wina. Mutha kutenga matenda opatsirana pogonana pogonana ndi aliyense, "akutero a Stubbs." Nthawi iliyonse akasinthana zakumwa zamthupi kapena zogonana pakhungu ndi khungu, pamakhala chiopsezo chotenga kachilombo. "

Ndicho chifukwa-monga momwe mumagonera ndi anthu popanda Kugonana kotetezeka ndikofunikira. "Kulankhula za matenda opatsirana pogonana komanso kuyezetsa magazi kumakhudza chisankho chanu chogwiritsa ntchito dziwe la mano kapena kondomu, chifukwa chake ndikukulimbikitsani kuti mukambirane pasadakhale," akutero a Melendez. Mawu monga "Kodi mwayesedwa posachedwa?" kapena "Mudayesedwa pambuyo pa mnzanu womaliza?" Ndi malo abwino olowera kukambirana, akutero.

Matenda opatsirana pogonana ambiri monga herpes, HPV, chlamydia, chinzonono, ndi syphilis amatha kufalikira kudzera pogonana mkamwa, kotero ngati mukupita kwa mnzanu, gwiritsani ntchito dziwe la mano (chidutswa chochepa cha latex chomwe chimagwiritsidwa ntchito popanga chotchinga pa nthawi yogonana pakamwa), akuwonetsa Stubbs. Ndizosavuta kugwiritsa ntchito: Mumangowagwira pamalo oti adzinyambitsidwe. Palinso zingwe zamadamu amano-omwe amapangidwa kuti azisunga madamu a mano kutsogolo kapena kumbuyo kuti azisewera pakamwa kapena m'matako-ngati mungafune kukhala ndi manja onse awiri. Pro nsonga: "Tsukani mbali imodzi ya dziwe la mano, poyika luba pa vulva kenako ndikuyika dambo pamwamba pa maliseche kuti lisamve zowuma komanso pulasitiki pathupi lanu," akutero Melendez. (Zokhudzana: Chilichonse Chimene Muyenera Kudziwa Zokhudza Kugonana Mkamwa ndi Matenda Opatsirana Pogonana Koma Mwina Osatero)

Ngati mukugwiritsa ntchito ndikugawana zoseweretsa ngati vibrator kapena dildo-Melendez amalimbikitsa kutsuka choseweretsa choseweretsa pakati pa ntchito kapena kugwiritsa ntchito kondomu yatsopano kwa aliyense. “Ngati dildo anali mkati mwanu ndipo muli ndi matenda, ndiyeno ndikuyika dildo mkati mwanga, ndikhoza kutenga matenda anu,” akufotokoza motero.

Osaziganizira

Ngati mwakhala mukugonana ndi P-in-V kapena simunagonepo kale, mutha kukhala osokonezeka pazomwe mumagonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha nthawi yoyamba. "Sichiyenera kutanthauza chilichonse chokhudza kuti ndinu ndani," akutero Stubbs. "Mukazichita kamodzi, kawiri, kasanu, kapena tsiku lililonse mutha kuzindikira zomwe mukufuna."

Melendez akuvomereza kuti: "Zokonda zanu zakugonana zimakhala pafupi ndi anthu omwe mukufuna kuti muzichita nawo osati mtundu wa kugonana komwe mukugonana. Inu nokha ndi omwe mungadziwe kuti ndinu ndani." (Zokhudzana: Zomwe Zimatanthauzadi Kukhala Gender Fluid kapena Osakhala a Binary)

Pazithunzi, monga Erica Hahn wochokera Anatomy ya Grey anali ndi a-ha! mphindi itangogona koyamba ndi Callie, ndizotheka kuti mudzamva china chake ~click~. Ndipo ndizabwino. (Ngati zingatero, nayi malangizo anga: Pitani mukamadikirira Mawu a L. Mwalandilidwa).

Masitepe Otsatira

Kumbukirani: Malangizo oyamba ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ndi poyambira pabwino, koma palibe amene angakuuzeni za thupi la mnzanu komanso zomwe amasangalala nazo kuposa zomwe mnzanuyo angathe. Ndipo, pamapepalawo, mumadziwa zosangalatsa zanu. Chifukwa chake kubetcha kwanu kwabwino ndikulankhulana. (Izi zonse zimapita pakugonana ndi munthu wamtundu uliwonse, jenda, kapena wokonda.)

Ndipo ngati mungathe kuzithandiza, musachite thukuta. Mukamapanikizika kwambiri, mutha kudzisangalatsanso. Amakondwerera kugonana kotentha, kokondwa, komanso thanzi.

Onaninso za