Kukwatiwa Ndi Matenda a Nyamakazi: Nkhani Yanga

Zamkati

• 1. Ziri za inu ndi zina zanu zofunika
• 2. Ganizirani za kulemba ntchito wolemba mapulani, ngati mungathe
• 3. Musaope kupempha thandizo
• 4. Dzichepetse wekha
• 5. Osachipanga kukhala tsiku lonse
• 6. Musakonzekere gulu lakusankhidwa kwa madokotala
• 7. K.I.S.S.
• 8. Valani nsapato zabwino
• 9. Osatulutsa thukuta tating'ono
• 10. Tsiku la ukwati ndi gawo laling'ono chabe la moyo wanu pamodzi
• Kutenga

Chithunzi ndi Mitch Fleming Photography

Ukwati nthawi zonse chinali chinthu chomwe ndimayembekezera. Komabe, nditapezeka kuti ndili ndi lupus ndi nyamakazi ndili ndi zaka 22, ukwati udawoneka kuti sungapezeke.

Ndani angafune kukhala gawo la moyo wovuta ndi matenda ambiri? Ndani angafune kulumbira "kudwala komanso thanzi" pomwe sizongopeka chabe? Mwamwayi, ngakhale kuti sizinapitirire zaka 30, ndinamupeza munthu ameneyo kwa ine.

Ngakhale simukudwala matendawa, kukonzekera ukwati kumatha kukhala kovuta. Pali mantha omwe akwati onse amakhala nawo patsiku laukwati wawo.

Kodi ndipeza chovala changwiro ndipo chingakhale chikukwanira patsiku laukwati? Kodi nyengo idzakhala yabwino? Kodi alendo athu adzasangalala ndi chakudyacho? Kodi angayamikire zonse zomwe tidaphatikizira paukwati wathu wachilendo?

Komanso pali mantha omwe mkwatibwi yemwe ali ndi nyamakazi amakhala nawo patsiku laukwati wawo.

Kodi ndikumva bwino ndikutha kuyenda mopanda kumva kuwawa? Kodi ndidzakhala ndi mphamvu zokwanira kovina koyamba ndikulonjera alendo athu onse? Kodi kupsinjika kwa tsikulo kunditumizira moto?

Popeza ndakhala ndikukumana ndi zochitikazo ndekha, ndapeza lingaliro la zovuta, misampha, ndi machitidwe othandiza omwe amakhala ndi matenda osatha angatenge. Nazi zinthu 10 zofunika kukumbukira.

1. Ziri za inu ndi zina zanu zofunika

Mupeza upangiri wambiri wosafunsidwa, koma muyenera kuchita zomwe zikukuthandizani. Tinali ndi anthu 65 paukwati wathu. Tidachita zomwe zidatithandizira.

Nthawi zina ndimakhala ndikufunsa ngati tizingolankhula kapena ayi chifukwa chaphokoso la ena. Anthu omwe amakukondani komanso kukuthandizani mudzakhalabe zivute zitani, chifukwa chake ngati anthu angadandaule, asiyeni. Simungathe kusangalatsa aliyense, koma sizokhudza iwo mulimonse.

2. Ganizirani za kulemba ntchito wolemba mapulani, ngati mungathe

Chithunzi ndi Mitch Fleming Photography

Tidachita pafupifupi chilichonse tokha, kuyambira kunyamula ndi kutumiza maitanidwe kukonzekereratu malowo. Ndine 'Type A' ndiye ndi momwe ndimafunira, koma inali ntchito yambiri. Tidali ndi wotsogolera tsikulo, yemwe anali kwenikweni kuti atitengere panjira, ndipo zinali choncho.

3. Musaope kupempha thandizo

Amayi anga ndi abwenzi anga ena adatithandizira kukonza malowa usiku wotsatira ukwati wathu. Imeneyi inali njira yabwino yolumikizirana komanso kucheza nthawi yayitali, koma zimatanthauzanso kuti ndinali ndi anthu omwe ndimatha kudalira kuti ndikwaniritse masomphenya anga popanda kuchita zonse ndekha - osalipira wina kuti achite.

4. Dzichepetse wekha

Simukufuna kutopa kwambiri ndikukonzekera kotero kuti simungasangalale ndi ukwati weniweni. Ndinali wokonzeka kwambiri, ndipo ndinayesa kuyang'anitsitsa zinthu mndandandanda pasadakhale chilichonse chachikulu chomwe chidatsalira mpaka mphindi yomaliza.

5. Osachipanga kukhala tsiku lonse

Ndinali pamaukwati awiri chilimwe chatha. Kuyambira pomwe ndidayamba kukonzekera nthawi yomwe mwambowu udatha, maola 16 abwino anali atadutsa.

Paukwati wanga, tidayamba kukonzekera 8 koloko m'mawa, mwambowo unali 12 koloko masana, ndipo zinthu zidayamba kuwuma cha m'ma 3 koloko masana. Pofika nthawi yoyeretsa, adanditulutsa.

6. Musakonzekere gulu lakusankhidwa kwa madokotala

Chithunzi chojambulidwa ndi Leslie Rott Welsbacher

Ngakhale mutakhala kuti mulibe tchuthi, pewani kukonzekera gulu la madokotala sabata yamaukwati anu. Ndimaganiza kuti ndimakhala wanzeru pokhazikitsa nthawi yopita kuntchito, koma sizinali zofunikira.

Pali zambiri zomwe muyenera kuchita musanakwatirane. Pokhapokha mutakhala ndi chifukwa choonana ndi dokotala kapena madokotala, musadzikakamize. Ambiri amoyo wamatenda atha kale ali ndi nthawi yoikika.

7. K.I.S.S.

Ngakhale kuyenera kukhala kosalala kambiri patsiku lanu laukwati, sizomwe ndikutanthauza. M'malo mwake, “Muzichita Zinthu Zosavuta, Opusa!”

Pamodzi ndikupanga ukwati wawung'ono, tidakhala ndi phwando laling'ono laukwati. Mchemwali wanga anali Maid of Honor ndipo mchimwene wa mkwati wanga anali Munthu Wopambana. Zinali choncho.

Zinatanthawuza kuti sitinayenera kulinganiza anthu matani, tinalibe chakudya chamadzulo choyeserera, ndipo zimangopangitsa zinthu kukhala zosavuta. Tinalinso ndi mwambowu ndikulandila pamalo omwewo kotero kuti sitinayende kulikonse.

8. Valani nsapato zabwino

Chithunzi ndi Mitch Fleming Photography

Ndinali ndi nsapato ziwiri patsiku lalikulu. Choyamba chinali zidendene zokongola zomwe ndimavala kuti ndiziyenda ndikutsika ndipo ndimadziwa kuti ndiyenera kunyamuka nthawi yomweyo mwambowo utatha. Enawo anali nsapato zazovala zapinki zokongola zomwe ndimavala nthawi yonseyi, kuphatikiza nthawi yovina koyamba.

9. Osatulutsa thukuta tating'ono

Aliyense amafuna kuti ukwati wawo ukhale wangwiro, koma ngati pali chinthu chimodzi chomwe aliyense amene ali ndi matenda osatha amadziwa, zinthu sizimayenda monga momwe zimakonzera.

Tsiku laukwati wanu limakhalanso chimodzimodzi, ngakhale mutakonzekera zochuluka motani. Tinali ndi vuto ndi zokuzira mawu pamalo athu. Zitha kukhala zowononga, koma sindikuganiza kuti aliyense adazindikira.

10. Tsiku la ukwati ndi gawo laling'ono chabe la moyo wanu pamodzi

Ndikosavuta kutengeka ndi lingaliro la kukwatira ndi zonse zomwe zimadza ndi tsiku laukwati, makamaka ngati mukuda nkhawa kuti mwina sizingakuchitikireni. Koma zoona zake ndizakuti, ukwatiwo uli ndi maola ochepa chabe pamoyo wanu wonse.

Kutenga

Ngati mumangoganizira zosowa zanu ndikukonzekera zamtsogolo, tsiku lanu laukwati pamapeto pake lidzakhala tsiku lomwe mudalota - lomwe simudzaiwala. Kwa ine, zinali zosangalatsa. Zachidziwikire, ndinali nditatopa ndikumapeto kwake, koma zinali zoyenera.

Leslie Rott Welsbacher anapezeka ndi matenda a lupus ndi nyamakazi mu 2008 ali ndi zaka 22, mchaka chake choyamba chomaliza maphunziro kusukulu. Atapezeka, Leslie anapitiliza kupeza PhD mu Sociology kuchokera ku Yunivesite ya Michigan ndi digiri yaukadaulo yothandizira zaumoyo kuchokera ku Sarah Lawrence College. Amalemba blog Yoyandikira Kwandekha, komwe amafotokozera zomwe adakumana nazo polimbana ndi matenda angapo, mosabisa komanso nthabwala. Ndiwotetezera wodwala wokhala ku Michigan.