Kulimbana ndi Mantha Kumene Kunandithandiza Kuthetsa Nkhawa Yanga Yolemala

Zamkati

• Mbiri Yanga Ndi Nkhawa
• Zinthu Zikayamba Kuipiraipira
• Kunena Kuti Inde pa Zinthu Zomwe Zinandiwopsyeza
• Onaninso za

Ngati mukuvutika ndi nkhawa, mwina mumadziwa kale mawu amenewo inde kuchita mwachisawawa si njira kwenikweni. Kwa ine, lingaliro chabe la ulendo linatuluka pawindo kachiwiri likuwonekera. Pofika nthawi yomwe zokambirana zanga zamkati zatha, palibe inde. Palibe mawu. Kumangokhala mantha ofooketsa potengera zongoganizira.

Kuda nkhawa kwanga kwandidutsa m'matope nthawi zambiri, koma ndapeza kuti kuyankhula za izi (kapena kutero, kulemba za izi) kumandithandiza ine-ndipo kumatha kuthandiza wina kuti aziwerenga omwe akuvutika.

Kaya ndikulankhulana ndi banja langa, zojambula zingapo zosonyeza nkhawa, kapena Kendall Jenner ndi Kim Kardashian akutsegula zamavuto amisala, ndikudziwa kuti sindine ndekha. "Mukumva ngati kuti simudzatulukamo," ndikukumbukira Kendall akunena pachigawo chimodzi cha Kumanani ndi anthu a Kardashians, ndipo sindikanatha kumumvetsanso.

Mbiri Yanga Ndi Nkhawa

Nthawi yoyamba yomwe ndinazindikira kuti ndinali ndi nkhawa inali mu junior high. Ndinadutsa gawo lomwe ndimachita mantha kuti ndiponya, ndimadzuka pakati pausiku ndikutsimikiza kuti ndidzadwala. Ndinkathamangira pansi kuchipinda cha makolo anga ndipo amandigoneka pabedi. Ndimangogona tulo ndikumva mawu a amayi anga komanso kupindika kumbuyo.

Ndimakumbukira kuti ndimayenera kuyatsa nyali ndikuzimitsa munjira, kenako kuchipinda changa, ndikumwa madzi ena ndisanalole ubongo wanga kuti ndigone. Zizolowezi za OCD izi ndimomwe ndimanenera kuti, "Ndikachita izi, sinditaya mtima." (Zogwirizana: Chifukwa Chake Muyenera Kusiya Kunena Kuti Muli Ndi Nkhawa Ngati Simukutero)

Kenako, kusukulu yasekondale, ndimagunda pamtima modetsa nkhawa kotero kuti ndimamva ngati ndikadwala matenda amtima. Chifuwa changa chinkakhala chowawa nthawi zonse, ndipo kupuma kwanga kunali kopanda kanthu. Imeneyo inali nthawi yanga yoyamba kuuza dokotala wanga wamkulu za nkhawa yanga. Anandiyika pa SSRI (serotonin reuptake inhibitor), yomwe imagwiritsidwa ntchito kuthana ndi kukhumudwa komanso nkhawa.

Nditapita kukoleji, ndidaganiza zosiya mankhwala. Ndidakhala mchaka changa chatsopano nditakwera ndege maola atatu kuchokera kunyumba kwanga ku Maine kupita kudziko langa latsopanoli ku Florida ndikuchita zinthu zabwinobwino zakukoleji: kumwa mopitirira muyeso, kukoka anthu ogona usiku wonse, kudya chakudya chowopsa. Koma ndimaphulika.

Ndikugwira ntchito yodyerako chilimwe chotsatira chaka changa chatsopano, ndimamva zowawa izi mmanja mwanga ndi mapazi. Ndinkaona ngati makoma akutsekeka ndiponso kuti ndikomoka. Ndinkatha ntchito, n’kudzigwetsera pabedi, n’kugona kwa maola ambiri mpaka kukadutsa. Sindimadziwa kuti awa anali mantha. Ndinabwereranso kumankhwala ndipo pang'onopang'ono ndinabwerera ku umunthu wanga.

Ndinali kumwa mankhwala mpaka ndinali ndi zaka 23, pomwe ndimakhala masiku anga atangomaliza kumene kusangalala ndikusinkhasinkha za moyo wanga ndi dongosolo lotsatira. Ndinali ndisanamvepo mantha ngati amenewo. Ndinakhala ndikumwa mankhwala kwa zaka zambiri, ndipo ndinkaona kuti sindikuwafunanso. Chifukwa chake ndidadzilekanitsa nawo monga kale, ndipo sindinaganize zambiri.

Zinthu Zikayamba Kuipiraipira

Ndikayang'ana m'mbuyo, ndikadayenera kuwona zikwangwani zachenjezo zikumangidwa mzaka zitatu zikubwerazi. Zinthu zinafika poipa kwambiri m’pamene ndinazindikira kuti zinthu zinafunika kusintha. Ndinayamba kukhala ndi mantha. Sindinkakondanso kuyendetsa galimoto, makamaka pa msewu waukulu, kapena m'matauni osadziwika. Nditatero, ndinamva ngati ndikulephera kuyendetsa gudumu ndikupeza ngozi yoopsa.

Mantha amenewo adasandukanso osafuna kukhala wokwera mgalimoto kwa nthawi yopitilira ola limodzi, zomwe zidasandutsa mantha akukhala mundege. Patapita nthawi, sindinkafuna kuyenda kulikonse pokhapokha nditakhala pabedi langa usiku womwewo. Chotsatira, pamene ndinali kuyenda pa Tsiku la Chaka Chatsopano 2016, ndipo ndinamva mantha mwadzidzidzi komanso opunduka. Nditafika pamwamba pa phirilo, nthawi zonse ndinkaganiza kuti ndipunthwa n’kugwa n’kumwalira. Panthawi ina, ndinangoima ndikukhala pansi, ndikugwira miyala yozungulira kuti ndikhazikike. Ana ang'ono anali kundipeza, amayi anali kufunsa ngati ndili bwino, ndipo bwenzi langa anali kuseka kwenikweni chifukwa amaganiza kuti ndi nthabwala.

Komabe, sindinazindikire kuti pali vuto linalake mpaka mwezi wotsatira pamene ndinadzuka pakati pausiku, ndikunjenjemera ndi kuvutika kupuma. Kutacha, sindinamve kalikonse. Sindingathe kulawa chilichonse. Ndinkaona ngati nkhawa yanga siidzatha—ngati chilango cha imfa. Ndinakana kwa miyezi ingapo, koma patatha zaka zambiri ndilibe mankhwala, ndinayambiranso kumwa mankhwala.

Ndikudziwa kuti chizoloŵezi cham'mbuyo ndi mtsogolo ndi mankhwala anga chikhoza kuwoneka ngati chotsutsana, choncho ndikofunika kufotokoza kuti mankhwala sanali anga. kokha Kuyesera chithandizo-ndinayesa mafuta ofunikira, kusinkhasinkha, yoga, kulimbitsa thupi, komanso kutsimikizira. Zinthu zina sizinandithandizire, koma zomwe zidachita ndi gawo la moyo wanga. (Zogwirizana: Kodi Reiki Angathandize Ndi Kuda Nkhawa?)

Nditabwereranso kumankhwala, nkhawa yopunduka pamapeto pake idatha, ndipo malingaliro olimbikitsa adachoka. Koma ndidasiyidwa ndi PTSD yamtunduwu yamomwe miyezi ingapo yaposachedwa idakhalira ndi thanzi lamisala-ndikuwopa kuyambiranso. Ndinkangodzifunsa ngati ndingathawedi vuto ili lomwe ndinkangodikira kuti nkhawa yanga ibwerere. Kenako, ndinali ndi vuto lotere: Bwanji ngati, m'malo mothawa mantha oti ndidzakhalanso woipa m'maganizo, nditakumbatira mantha omwe adandiyambitsa mantha? Bwanji ndikanangoti inde ku chilichonse?

Kunena Kuti Inde pa Zinthu Zomwe Zinandiwopsyeza

Chifukwa chakumapeto kwa 2016, ndidapanga chisankho choti ndinene inde. Ndinati inde kukwera magalimoto (ndikuyendetsa), kukwera maulendo apandege, maulendo apandege, msasa, ndi maulendo ena ambiri omwe adandichotsa pabedi langa. Koma monga aliyense amene wakumanapo ndi zovuta komanso zochepa nkhawa amadziwa, sizosavuta. (Zokhudzana: Kudyera Koyera Kunandithandiza Kupirira Nkhawa)

Nditayamba kukhala womasuka ndi ine, ndidaganiza zotengera mwana kuti ndiyambitsenso zinthu zomwe ndimakonda zomwe nkhawa idandilepheretsa kusangalala nazo. Ndinayamba ndikusungitsa maulendo apamsewu opita kugombe la California. Chibwenzi changa chimayendetsa kwambiri njira, ndipo ndikanadzipereka kukwera gudumu kwa maola angapo apa ndi apo. Ndimakumbukira ndikuganiza, O ayi-ndangodzipereka kuti ndiyendetse galimoto tisanadutse mtawuni ya San Francisco komanso kudutsa Bridge ya Golden Gate. Kupuma kwanga kumakhala kotsika ndipo manja anga atachita dzanzi munthawi ngati izi, koma ndimadzimva kuti ndili ndi mphamvu ndikakwaniritsa zomwe kale ndimaziona ngati zosatheka. Kulimbikitsidwa uku kunandipangitsa kuyang'ana kuti ndigwire ntchito zazikulu. Ndimakumbukira ndikuganiza, Ngati ndingathe kupita patali pano, ndipita kutali bwanji? (Zokhudzana: Malangizo a 8 Othandizira Othandizana Naye Ndi Nkhawa)

Kukhala kutali ndi kunyumba kunapereka nkhani yakeyake. Kodi anzanga adzaganiza chiyani ndikadzuka pakati pausiku ndikuwopa? Kodi m'derali muli chipatala chabwino? Ndipo mafunso oterewa akadali obisalira, ndinali nditatsimikizira kale kuti ndimatha kuyenda ndi omwe-ngati sanayankhidwe. Chifukwa chake ndidadumphadumpha ndikupita ku Mexico kukakumana ndi chibwenzi - inali ndege ya maola anayi okha, ndipo ndimatha kutero, sichoncho? Koma ndikukumbukira ndili munthawi ya chitetezo cha eyapoti, ndikumva kukomoka, ndikuganiza, Kodi ndingathe kuchita izi? Kodi ndidzakweradi ndege?

Ndinapumira movutikira ndikudutsa pamzere olondera ndege. Palms thukuta, Ndinagwiritsa ntchito zitsimikiziro zabwino, zomwe zinaphatikizapo zambiri sungabwerere tsopano, wapita mpaka pano pep amalankhula. Ndikukumbukira kuti ndinakumana ndi banja lina labwino kwambiri nditakhala pa bala ndisanakwere ndege. Tidamaliza kucheza ndikudya ndikumwa limodzi kwa ola lathunthu isanakwane kuti ndikwere ndege, ndipo zosokoneza izi zidandithandiza kusintha mwamtendere kupita mundege.

Nditafika kumeneko ndinakumana ndi mnzanga, ndinanyadira kwambiri. Ngakhale ndikuvomereza kuti tsiku lililonse ndimayenera kukamba nkhani zazing'ono panthawi yomwe ndikupuma pang'ono komanso nthawi ya malingaliro otukuka, ndinatha kukhala masiku asanu ndi limodzi kudziko lachilendo. Ndipo sikuti ndinkangochepetsa nkhawa zanga koma ndinkasangalala ndi nthawi imene ndinali kumeneko.

Kubwerera kuchokera ku ulendo umenewo ndinamva ngati sitepe yeniyeni yopita patsogolo. Ndinadzipangitsa kukwera ndege ndekha ndikupita kudziko lina. Inde, ndinali ndi mnzanga pamene ndinafika, koma kumayenera kulamulira zochita zanga popanda wina kutsamira zomwe zinali zosinthika kwa ine. Ulendo wanga wotsatira sungakhale ulendo wandege wa maola anayi okha, koma ulendo wandege wa maola 15 kupita ku Italy. Ndinapitiriza kuyang'ana mantha amenewo, koma panalibe. Ndidachoka pakumiza chala changa m'madzi, kufika pogwada, ndipo tsopano ndidasinthidwa mokwanira kuti nditha kumira. (Yokhudzana: Momwe Kulimbitsa Thupi Kundithandizira Kuti Ndituluke muubwino Wanga Rut)

Ku Italy, ndinapezeka kuti ndikudumphadumpha mwaphompho ndikulowera ku Mediterranean. Ndipo kwa munthu amene anadutsa m’nyengo ya mantha autali, ichi chinamva ngati chochitika chofunika kwambiri. Pamapeto pake, ndidapeza kuti maulendo andipangitsa kuti ndizitha kulandira zosadziwika (zomwe ndi kwenikweni zovuta kwa odwala nkhawa).

Kungakhale bodza kunena kuti maunyolo akumasulidwe andimasulira kwathunthu, koma patatha zaka zoyipa kwambiri m'moyo wanga, ndidakhala 2017 ndikumasuka. Ndinamva ngati ndimatha kupuma, kuwona, kuchita, ndi kukhala ndi moyo popanda mantha ndi zomwe zingachitike.

Nkhawa zanga zinapangitsa kutsekeredwa m'mipata yaying'ono ngati galimoto kapena ndege. Zinapangitsa kuti zikhale zowopsa kukhala kutali ndi kunyumba, komwe mulibe dokotala pafupi kapena chitseko chogona chomwe mungatseke. Koma chomwe chimakhala chowopsa ndikumverera ngati kuti simungathe kuwongolera moyo wanu.

Ngakhale zingamveke ngati ndikungolowera mkati, kunali kudumpha pang'onopang'ono komanso kopita patsogolo-kuyendetsa pang'ono, kukwera ndege yayifupi, kopita kutali kuposa momwe ndimayembekezera. Ndipo nthawi iliyonse ndikadzimva ndikumverera pang'ono ngati munthu yemwe ndimadziwa kuti ndinali pansi pamtima: wotseguka, wokondwa, komanso wokonda kuchita zambiri.

Onaninso za