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• Ndimakumbukira nthawi yoyamba yomwe zodzoladzola zidandithandizira kukhumudwa

Pakati pa kukwapula ndi milomo, ndinapeza chizolowezi choti kukhumudwa sikungathe kugwira. Ndipo zidandipangitsa kumva kuti ndili pamwamba padziko lapansi.

Thanzi ndi thanzi zimakhudza aliyense wa ife mosiyanasiyana. Iyi ndi nkhani ya munthu m'modzi.

Zodzoladzola komanso kukhumudwa. Sizimayendera limodzi, sichoncho?

Lina limatanthauza kukongola, kukongola, ndi "kuphatikizidwa," pomwe linalo limatanthauza chisoni, kusungulumwa, kudzinyasa, komanso kusasamala.

Ndavala zodzoladzola kwa zaka zambiri tsopano, ndipo ndakhala ndikudandaula kwa zaka zambiri - sindimadziwa momwe m'modzi angakhudzire mnzake.

Ndinayamba kukhala ndi zizolowezi zokhumudwa ndili ndi zaka 14. Sindinadziwe zomwe zimandichitikira, ndipo sindinadziwe momwe ndingapitirire. Koma ndidatero. Zaka zidapita ndipo pamapeto pake ndidapezeka ndili ndi zaka 18 ndili ndi vuto la kusinthasintha zochitika, komwe kumadziwika kuti ndikumangokhala wokhumudwa komanso kukomoka kwa manic. Pa nthawi yonse yomwe ndinali kusukulu, ndinkasinthasintha pakati pa matenda ovutika maganizo ndi hypomania, pogwiritsa ntchito njira zoopsa zothandiza kupirira matenda anga.

Sindinapeze zaka 20 zoyambirira pomwe ndidadzipeza ndekha. Lingaliro limenelo linandidabwitsa. Ndinakhala zaka zambiri m'moyo wanga ndikulimbana ndi matendawa, ndikumwa mowa, kudzivulaza, ndi njira zina zoyipa zothandiza kuthana nazo. Sindinaganizepo kuti kudzisamalira kungathandize.

Kudzisamalira kumangotanthauza njira yodzithandizira panthawi yovuta, ndikudziyang'anira nokha, kaya ndi bomba losambira, kuyenda, kucheza ndi bwenzi lakale - kapena kwa ine, zodzoladzola.

Ndinkadzola zodzoladzola kuyambira ndili mwana, ndipo ndikamakula, zidayamba kukhala zothandizira ... ndipo zitatha izi, chigoba. Koma kenako ndidazindikira china chake mkati mwa zikwapu, zotchinga, zomangira milomo. Ndinazindikira kuti zinali zochuluka kwambiri kuposa zomwe zimawoneka pamwamba. Ndipo idakhala gawo lalikulu pakupezanso bwino.

Ndimakumbukira nthawi yoyamba yomwe zodzoladzola zidandithandizira kukhumudwa

Ndinakhala pa desiki yanga ndikukhala ola lathunthu pankhope panga. Ndidayenda mozungulira, ndikuphika, ndimagwirana, ndimeta, ndimanjenjemera. Ola lathunthu linali litadutsa, ndipo mwadzidzidzi ndinazindikira kuti ndakwanitsa kusakhala wachisoni. Ndidakwanitsa kukhala ola limodzi, ndipo sindinamve china chilichonse kupatula kusinkhasinkha. Nkhope yanga inkalemera ndipo maso anga ankamva kuyabwa, koma ndimamva china zina kupatula kukhumudwa kowopsya kwa malingaliro.

Mwadzidzidzi, sindinali kuvala chigoba kudziko lapansi. Ndinali wokhoza kufotokoza zakukhosi kwanga, koma ndinkaona kuti gawo laling'ono langa linali nalo "lolamulira" ndikasesa kansalu kanga kalikonse.

Matenda okhumudwa adandichotsera chidwi chilichonse komanso chidwi chomwe ndidakhala nacho, ndipo sindidakulolani kuti ndichitenso ichi. Nthawi iliyonse liwu m'mutu mwanga limandiuza Sindinali wokwanira, kapena Ndinali wolephera, kapena kuti palibe chomwe ndimachita bwino, ndimamva kufunika kobwezeretsanso mphamvu. Chifukwa chake kukhala pa desiki yanga ndikunyalanyaza mawu, ndikunyalanyaza kusokonekera kwa mutu wanga, ndikungodzipaka zodzikongoletsera, inali mphindi yayikulu kwa ine.

Zachidziwikire, padali masiku ena oti kudzuka pabedi kunali kosatheka, ndipo pamene ndimayang'ana chikwama changa chodzikongoletsera ndimagubuduka ndikulonjeza kuti ndiyesanso mawa. Koma mawa likadzuka, ndimadziyesa ndekha kuti ndiwone komwe ndingachite - kuti ndibwezeretse ulamuliro. Masiku ena kumangokhala kuyang'ana kosavuta komanso milomo yopanda kanthu. Masiku ena, ndimatuluka ndikuwoneka ngati mfumukazi yokongola, yokongola. Panalibe pakati. Zinali zonse kapena palibe.

Nditakhala pa desiki yanga ndikujambula nkhope yanga ndi zaluso ndimamva kuti ndizachiritso kwambiri, ndimayiwala momwe ndimadwalira. Zodzoladzola ndimakonda kwambiri, ndipo ndikadali - ngakhale munthawi yanga yotsika kwambiri - ndimatha kukhala pamenepo ndikukweza nkhope yanga ndimamva bwino. Ndinamverera pamwamba padziko lapansi.

Zinali zosangalatsa, chinali chilakolako, chinali chisokonezo cha chidwi chomwe sichinandilande. Ndipo ndinali ndi mwayi wokhala ndi cholinga choyambitsa tsiku langa.

Ngati muli ndi chidwi, chidwi, kapena zosangalatsa zomwe zimakuthandizani kuthana ndi kukhumudwa kwanu, gwiritsitsani. Musalole kuti galu wakuda akutengereni. Musalole kuti zikulande ntchito yanu yodzisamalira.

Zodzoladzola sizingathetse nkhawa zanga. Sizingasinthe malingaliro anga. Koma zimathandiza. Mwanjira yaying'ono, zimathandiza.

Tsopano, mascara yanga ili kuti?

Olivia - kapena Liv mwachidule - ndi 24, waku United Kingdom, komanso blogger wamaganizidwe. Amakonda zinthu zonse za gothic, makamaka Halowini. Amakondanso kwambiri tattoo, ali ndi zoposa 40 mpaka pano. Nkhani yake ya Instagram, yomwe imatha kusowa nthawi ndi nthawi, imapezeka Pano.