Kodi Amuna Ndi Banja 'Omwe Amakhala Abwino' Amagonana Kangati?

Zamkati

• Avereji
• Kodi Banja Lanu Lili ndi Mavuto?
• Momwe Mungasinthire Magalimoto Anu Ogonana

Nthawi ina, maanja ambiri amadzifunsa ndikudzifunsa kuti, "Kodi ndi mabanja angati amene amagonana nawo?" Ndipo ngakhale yankho silikumveka bwino, akatswiri azakugonana anena zinthu zambiri pamutuwu. Izi ndi zomwe akunena, komanso maupangiri ena okuthandizani kuti mukhale ndi moyo wogonana panjira yoyenera!

Avereji

Pali funso lina pakati pa akatswiri azakugonana pazomwe zili zenizeni kwa anthu omwe ali pachibwenzi. Mayankho amatha kuyambira kamodzi pa sabata mpaka kamodzi pamwezi! Ian Kerner, PhD, atafunsidwa momwe amayankhira maanja omwe amamufunsa kuti azigonana kangati, adati, "Nthawi zonse ndayankha kuti palibe yankho lolondola.

Mabanja akasiya kugonana, maubwenzi awo amakhala osatekeseka, kupatukana, kusakhulupirika ndipo pamapeto pake kusudzulana.

Kupatula apo, moyo wokhudzana ndi kugonana umakhudzidwa ndi zinthu zosiyanasiyana: zaka, moyo, thanzi la mnzanu aliyense komanso libido yachilengedwe ndipo, zachidziwikire, mtundu wa ubale wawo wonse, kungotchulapo ochepa

Chifukwa chake ngakhale sipangakhale yankho lolondola pafunso loti maanja azigonana kangati, posachedwapa ndakhala ndikuchepetsa ndipo ndikulangiza maanja kuti ayesere kuchita kamodzi pa sabata. " Malinga ndi David Schnarch, PhD, kudzera mu kafukufuku wopangidwa ndi maanja opitilira 20,000, adawona kuti ndi 26% yokha ya mabanja omwe akumenya kamodzi pa sabata, pomwe ambiri omwe amafunsidwa amakhala akugonana kamodzi kapena kawiri pamwezi, kapena zochepa!

Komabe, kafukufuku wina, wosindikizidwa mu The University of Chicago Press pafupifupi zaka 10 zapitazo, adati okwatirana akugonana pafupifupi kasanu ndi kawiri pamwezi, zomwe sizichepera kawiri pamlungu. Ndipo mu kafukufuku wachitatu, zidanenedwa kuti mwa akulu 16,000 omwe adafunsidwa, omwe anali nawo pagulu lakale anali atagonana kangapo kawiri kapena katatu pamwezi, pomwe achinyamata omwe amatenga nawo mbali akuti amagonana kamodzi pa sabata.

Kodi Banja Lanu Lili ndi Mavuto?

Othandizira ambiri ogonana amavomereza kuti kugonana kosakwanira katatu pachaka ndi chifukwa chokwanira kuti ukwati wanu ukhale wosagonana. Komabe, kusowa kwa chiwerewere sikutanthauza kuti banja lanu lili pamavuto, malinga ndi Schnarch. Ngakhale kugonana kungakhale momwe maanja amasonyezera chikondi chawo ndi chikhumbo chawo kwa wina ndi mnzake, kusowa kwa chiwerewere sikutanthauza kuti mukupita kokathetsa chibwenzi, ngakhale ndichinthu chomwe muyenera kupeza. Dr. Kerner akuti, "Kugonana kumawoneka kuti kukugwera mwachangu pamndandanda wazomwe azichita ku America; koma, mwa zomwe ndakumana nazo, maanja akasiya kugonana maubwenzi awo amakhala pachiwopsezo cha mkwiyo, gulu, kusakhulupirika ndipo, pamapeto pake, amathetsa banja. Ndimakhulupirira kuti kugonana ndi kofunika: Ndi guluu amene amatipangitsa kukhala limodzi ndipo, popanda izo, maanja amakhala 'mabwenzi abwino', kapena 'amangokhalira kukangana'.

Momwe Mungasinthire Magalimoto Anu Ogonana

Pali zinthu zambiri zomwe zimafunikira kuti mupange zogonana zomwe mukufuna. M'mabanja ambiri, kusiyana malingaliro kumatha kukhala vuto. Al Cooper, wochokera ku San Jose Marital and Sexuality Center, akuti, "Komabe, mavuto a awiriwa nthawi zambiri amakhala ocheperako pankhani yogonana, kuposa kupita kokagonana.

"Ngati kugonana kwanu kuli koyenera, cholinga chanu ndikukumana pakati, kugona pang'ono kuposa momwe m'modzi amakonda, koma mwina pang'ono kuposa ena onse." - Dr. Gail Saltz

Palibe banja lomwe likufuna kugonana nthawi iliyonse limafanana bwino. Chinsinsi chake ndi choti banja limakambirana nthawi yoti wina ayambe kukambirana ndipo winayo akukana. ” Monga nkhani iliyonse muubwenzi, kugonana komanso kuchuluka komwe mumakhala nako kumafunikira kunyengerera.

Zitha kuwoneka ngati phiri lalikulu kukwera, mukaganizira zina zonse zomwe mumakumana nazo tsiku lililonse. Kuchapa zovala, kugwira ntchito, kuphika, kuyeretsa, ndi ntchito zina nthawi zambiri zimawoneka ngati zofunika kuposa kuthamangira ndi mnzanu; koma kugonana kumakhalanso kosangalatsa! Kerner akuti, "Tikasiya kuzichita, ndikosavuta kukakamira; koma tikangoyambiranso, timakumbukira kuchuluka komwe tidaphonya. Mwambi wakale ‘uugwiritse ntchito kapena uutaye’ uli ndi chowonadi china. Momwemonso lingaliro langa, 'yesani, mungakonde.' ”

Poyamba, zingatanthauze kukonzekera kugonana ndikupanga nthawi yomwe ingayambitse kugonana. Kukumbatirana tsiku lililonse, kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi kuti muwonjezere kuchuluka kwama testosterone, ndikuzimitsa zosokoneza, monga kompyuta ndi TV. Ngati mukukumanabe ndi mavuto okhoza kuchita chibwenzi, kuwona wothandizira zakugonana kungakuthandizeni inu ndi mnzanuyo kukhala patsamba lomwelo!