Momwe Mungakhazikitsire Bwino Pambuyo pa Chaka Choyipa Kwambiri

Zamkati

• Ngati Munataya Wanu Wokondedwa
• Ngati Mwataya Ntchito
• Ngati Mwakhala Ndi Mavuto M'Paradaiso
• Ngati Mwavutika ndi Matenda Aakulu
• Ngati Mukuvutika Ndale ndi Kuvutika Tsankho, Kugonana, kapena General Bigotry
• Onaninso za

2016 inali yoyipa kwambiri-ingoyang'anani pa intaneti iliyonse. Kumeneko, ambiri a ife mwachiwonekere tinapirira vuto linalake la m’maganizo—kutha, kuchotsedwa ntchito, kuferedwa, mwinanso mantha. (Zosapeŵeka m'chaka chilichonse.) Kuwonjezera apo, kusokonekera kwa ndale kumayiko akunja ndi m'dziko lathu lomwe ndipo ambiri aife tikutha chaka chino tikumva kukhumudwa, kukhumudwa, komanso kutopa kwambiri.

Chaka Chatsopano, komabe, ndichizindikiro chachikulu chofufutira, kupuma pang'ono, ndikupita patsogolo ndi moyo wanu. Koma mungatani kuti muyambirenso zochitika zokhumudwitsa ngati zimenezi? Tidalankhula ndi akatswiri ochepa kuti athetse zifukwa zonse 2016 yomwe ikadakhala kuti idasiya mafupa anu-komanso momwe mungakhazikitsire ndikumva kuti mwakonzeka kuthana ndi 2017 mutakweza mutu.

Ngati Munataya Wanu Wokondedwa

Mu February, madotolo adauza mlongo wake wa Sarah kuti khansa ya m'mawere yatuluka. Pofika chilimwe, zotupazo zinali zitapambana. Sarah, wazaka 34, wa ku Atlanta* anati: “Kumutaya chinali chinthu chovuta kwambiri chimene ndinakumana nacho. "Panthawiyo, moona mtima sindimaganiza kuti ndipitiliza kumaliza ntchito yamaliro. Ndipo pano, miyezi ingapo pambuyo pake, ndikudabwabe momwe ndiyenera kugwirira ntchito ndi bowo lalikululi m'moyo wanga."

Palibe njira yochotsera zowawa zotayika membala wa banja lanu, atero a Ben Michaelis, Ph.D., katswiri wazamisala, komanso wolemba Chinthu Chanu Chotsatira Chachikulu Chotsatira: Njira 10 Zing'onozing'ono Zoti Musunthe ndi Kusangalala. Koma anthu ndi amphamvu kwambiri kuposa momwe amaganizira ndipo amatha kuthana ndi zovuta ngati atazikonza bwino, akuwonjezera.

Izi zimatengera kutaya zambiri kuposa anthu m'moyo wanu. "2016 idandivuta chifukwa tidataya amphaka awiri m'masabata awiri," akutero Bailey, 26, waku Fairfax, VA. "Monga munthu amene amakhala yekha nthawi zonse ndi amphaka, zinali zopweteka kwambiri."

"Ngati mwataya chaka chino-mnzanu, wachibale, kapena chiweto-zimathandiza kuyika kutayika ndikuthokoza chifukwa chokhala ndi munthuyo kapena chiweto chanu," Michaelis akupereka.

Choyamba, muyenera kuwonetsa kutayika kudzera muzochitika zina kapena mwambo, nthawi zambiri maliro, komanso mwambo monga kuyatsa kandulo mwaulemu wake. Kenako, vomerezani udindo wa munthuyo kapena chiweto chake m'moyo wanu pochita zomwe zikanakhala zopindulitsa kwa iwo: ntchito yogawana nawo, kuyang'ananso zinthu zomwe wakusiyirani, kudutsa zithunzi.Ndiyeno, lingalirani mmene mungapitirizire kukhala ndi munthu ameneyo tsiku ndi tsiku. Mwachitsanzo, ngati wokondedwa wanu anali wandale, mutha kupereka ndalama pazomwe zimatanthauza kanthu kwa iye. "Izi zimalola kuti kutayikako kuchiritse komanso kuti mukule chinthu chokongola chifukwa chowadziwa," akutero Michaelis.

Ngati Mwataya Ntchito

Atakhala patchuthi cha umayi, Shana, wazaka 33 waku Rockville, MD, adabwereranso kuntchito mu Januware ali wokonzeka kugunda pansi. M'malo mwake, udindo wake unachotsedwa patatha miyezi itatu yovuta ndipo wakhala akugwira ntchito kuyambira nthawi imeneyo. "Ndakhala ndi matani oyankhulana, koma mpaka pano, palibe zopereka. Ndikupitirizabe kufika kumapeto komaliza koma ndimataya munthu yemwe ali ndi chidziwitso chochuluka kapena wokonzeka kutenga ndalama zochepa. Ndimakhudzidwa kwambiri ndi kukana konse, " akutero.

Kuchotsedwa ntchito ndi kovuta kwambiri chifukwa kukuvutitsani kwambiri kudzidalira kwanu komanso kudziona kuti ndinu ofunika, atero a Kathy Caprino, mphunzitsi wazamayi komanso wopanga utsogoleri ku New York City. "Ndizopweteketsa mtima komanso kutaya mtima kukhala wolandila wina akutiuza kuti sitilinso ofunika, osafunikira, kapena ofunika pakampani. Ndipo zimapweteka kuti sitinawone izi zikubwera ndikutuluka msanga. "

Umu ndi momwe Lauren, 32, waku Indianapolis, adamvera atachotsedwa ntchito kwa zaka 11 chilimwechi. Koma a Caprino akuwonetsa kuti nthawi zambiri zomwe mumawona kuti ndizopweteketsa, zidzakhala zochitika zomwe zimakumasulani. Zingakuthandizeni kuti mumvetse bwino zimene zili zofunika kwambiri pa moyo wanu.

Komabe, vuto lalikulu lomwe Lauren akukumana nalo tsopano likuchira chifukwa chodzidalira kwambiri. A Caprino akuwonetsa kugwiritsa ntchito slate yatsopano ya 2017 kuti mumangenso kudzilimbitsa kuyambira pansi.

Choyamba, taganizirani zomwe zimakupangitsani kukhala apadera, ofunika, komanso apadera, Caprino akulangiza. Kenako, ganizirani zomwe zidabwera mosavuta kwa inu ngati mwana komanso wamkulu. "Awa ndi maluso anu achilengedwe ndi mphatso zomwe mukufuna kugwiritsa ntchito mwamphamvu m'moyo wanu ndi ntchito yanu," a Caprino akuwonjezera. Pomaliza, kambiranani mfundo 20 zosatsutsika, zosatsutsika za zomwe mwachita monyadira, kuzipeza, ndi zomwe mwathandizira pa moyo wanu ndi ntchito yanu. "Mukatha kuzindikira ndikulankhula mokakamiza pazofunikira zomwe mwapereka ndi chifukwa chake zili zofunika, mudzayamba kupeza mwayi wina wabwino," akutero a Caprino.

Ngati Mwakhala Ndi Mavuto M'Paradaiso

Kusweka nthawi zonse kumakhala kotopetsa. Koma akabwera ndi maloya ndikutambasula kwa miyezi ingapo, amatha kuchepa. Ingofunsani a Whitney, wazaka 55 waku Missoula, MT, yemwe adakhala gawo lomaliza la 2016 akulimbana ndi mwamuna yemwe amamukonda kwa zaka 30 pachisudzulo chotalikirapo.

"Kutha kwa banja kumatha kukhala kopweteketsa m'magulu ambiri," akutero a Carrie Cole, a LPC, director director of The Gottman Institute. Pali malingaliro otaya mtima omwe timafunikira kuthera nthawi ndi chisoni-chomangika chenicheni cha minyewa chomwe tiyenera kuchisiya, ndikuwononga kudzidalira komwe tikuyenera kumanganso.

Imodzi mwanjira zabwino kwambiri zomwe mungakhazikitsire: Khalani ndi nthawi koyambirira kwa 2017 kuti muganizire zomwe mudali komanso simunachite nawo. Cole akufotokoza kuti: "Anthu ena amadziimba mlandu pamavuto onse abwenzi, pomwe ena amaimba mlandu wokondedwa wawo pachilichonse - koma sizowona. (Onaninso: Zizolowezi 5 Zabwino Zokuthandizani Kuthetsa Chibwenzi)

Ndi kuwuluka nokha kwa kanthawi. Kufunafuna ubale watsopano ndi njira yachilengedwe yothanirana ndi malingaliro olakwika, koma mwayi mukungoyang'ana mbendera zochepa zofiira ndipo, chibwenzicho chitatha, mavuto azikhala oipitsitsa, akufotokoza.

M'malo mwake, pangani masiku ndi inu nokha ndi omwe mudawanyalanyaza. "Amayi ambiri amasiya zina zomwe amakonda kuti akhale pachibwenzi ndi munthu wina. Komanso, maubwenzi amatenga nthawi yambiri, kotero mukhoza kupeza kuti mwataya banja ndi anzanu," akutero Cole. Gwirizaninso ndi zochitikazo ndi anthu omwe amakupangitsani kukhala osangalala komanso zomwe zimapangitsa moyo wanu kukhala watanthauzo. Kupatula apo, palibe njira ina yabwinoko yodziwira kuti moyo wanu ukhoza kukhala wabwino - ngati sizingakhale bwino ngati iye asanakhalepo kuposa kuyamba kusangalala pomwe munali limodzi.

Zovuta kwambiri kuposa kukhala watsopano pachibwenzi chovuta, komabe, zikugwadabe m'modzi. "Kumayambiriro kwa chaka, ndinayamba chibwenzi ndi filosofi yovuta, yomwe ndikudziwa tsopano-kukhala wokhumudwa ndi katundu wambiri wamaganizo. Tili limodzi chifukwa sindingathe kusiya kumusamalira. Koma patangotha ​​miyezi 7, ndimaonabe ngati tikungoyamba kumene, ndipo maganizo ake amandichititsa kuti ndisamavutike maganizo, ndisamavutike, ndiponso ndisamavutike maganizo,” anatero Michelle, wazaka 32, wa ku Quito, Ecuador.

Cole akuti simuyenera kuyesa kungopukuta slate ndi SO yanu, koma m'malo mwake ikani batani lokonzanso pamakhalidwe anu. "Njira yabwino kumvetsetsa zomwe zachitika ndikuti aliyense azisinthana kukambirana zakukhosi kwawo, zomwe zitha kuchitika kuyambira kale, momwe aliyense amakhulupirira kuti adathandizira vutoli, komanso momwe aliyense angachitire bwino nthawi ina ," Cole akupereka. Mukangoyika zonse patebulo, mukudziwa zomwe muyenera kuchita kuti mukhale bwino ndipo mutha kuyamba kuyang'ana kutsogolo muubwenzi.

Ngati Mwavutika ndi Matenda Aakulu

Kaya mwakhala chaka chonse mukuchira ku matenda oopsa ngati a Crohn kapena kugundana mtima, kapena posachedwapa mwalimbitsa thupi lanu pakatikati pa kulimbitsa thupi, pali vuto lalikulu lakumva kukomoka.

Chifukwa chiyani ndizovuta kwambiri? Sikuti mumakhala opunduka chifukwa chochita bizinesi monga mwanthawi zonse, koma kuvulala kumakhalanso chikumbutso cha imfa yathu, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti mukhale ndi nkhawa kapena nkhawa, Michaelis akutero. Ndipo ngati ndinu woyenera gal, kukhala pambali pantchito yanu yolimbitsa thupi ndi phiri lina lomwe muyenera kulimbana nalo.

Ingofunsani a Suzanne, wazaka 51 wokhala ku Paris, yemwe adang'amba minofu yonse m'chiuno mwake akuvina paukwati wamwana wake wopeza. "Zisanachitike, ndimathamanga, ndimachita ma Pilates, ndikuphunzitsa yoga maola 10 pa sabata. Tsopano, nditatha milungu isanu ndi umodzi osachoka panyumba, ndimangoyenda maulendo angapo patsiku. Ndapeza mapaundi 10, kutaya maola ogwira ntchito ngati ndekha wolemba, ndipo ndinasiya maholide awiri ndikuyendera ana anga, omwe amakhala kutali ndi kwawo," akutero.

Ndiye mumasiya bwanji kukhumudwa kumeneku? Khazikitsani zolinga zakubwezeretsa ana. “Kuyesa kuchoka pa ziro kupita ku ngwazi m’kuphethira kwa diso kungayambitse chisoni chowonjezereka ndi nkhaŵa, ndipo ngati simunakonzekere, kungayambitsenso vuto lina,” akufotokoza motero Michaelis. Khazikitsani zochitika zomwe zili patsogolo pang'ono pomwe mukuganiza kuti muli panjira ya thanzi, ndiyeno kondwerera kupambana kulikonse.

Ngati Mukuvutika Ndale ndi Kuvutika Tsankho, Kugonana, kapena General Bigotry

"2016 yanditopetsa kwambiri ndimabanja anga, bambo anga makamaka," akutero Lisa, wazaka 29 waku Atlanta. "Chifukwa cha chisankho ndi gulu la Black Lives Matter, wakhala akulankhula zamwano. Koma mwamuna wanga ndi wakuda ndipo ana anga ndi amitundu iwiri. Zakhala zoopsa." (Zokhudzana: Momwe Kusankhana mitundu Kumakhudzira Thanzi Lanu la Maganizo)

Upangiri wa a Michaelis? Gwirizanani ndipo khalani ndi zokambirana zomwe zingakukwiyitseni komanso kukhumudwitsa chifukwa chake malingaliro awo amakupweteketsani. "Khalani nawo. Yesetsani kumvetsetsa maganizo a wina ndi mzake. Anthu ambiri ndi oganiza bwino ndipo amatha kumveka mukamayamikira zomwe zikuchitika pamoyo wawo," akutero. Ngati ndi banja lanu, chikondi chabwinocho chimakupatsani mwayi, mwina, kuvomereza kuti simukugwirizana. Koma ngati ndikulankhulana kopanda phindu ndipo kupweteka ndi nkhanza zosamvera zikupitilira, ikhoza kukhala nthawi yowunikiranso gawo lomwe ubalewu umagwira m'moyo wanu.

Koma mumatani pamene chidani chikuwoneka kuti chikuzungulirani?

"[Zinthu zambiri zokhometsa msonkho zachitika chaka chino, koma] palibe chomwe chanditopetsa momwe chisankho chakhalira. Ndinali wokondwa kwambiri kwa Hillary .... Ndipo tsopano ndikukhala m'dziko lomwe anthu amaganiza kuti ndibwino kuti aziyika manja awo pa akazi, kapena Asilamu, kapena aliyense amene akuwoneka mosiyana pang'ono ndi iwo. Ndakhumudwitsidwa, ndipo ndakhumudwitsidwa, ndipo ndatopa, "akutero Brittany, 26, wa Lacey, WA.

Kudzipereka komanso kutenga nawo mbali kumathandizira kutonthoza komanso kuchiritsa, atero a Sairey Luterman, katswiri wodziwa zambiri kuposa adokotala, komanso mwini wa Sairey Luterman Grief Support ku Lexington, MA. Perekani mabungwe omwe adzavutike kwambiri zaka zinayi zikubwerazi, monga Planned Parenthood, kapena sankhani njira imodzi kapena ziwiri kuti mupereke nthawi yanu (kuti muthe kuthandiza kusintha). Ndipo lingalirani zogwirira ntchito kwanuko, chifukwa zimakuyikani m'gulu la anthu amalingaliro amodzi ndikukumbutsaninso ena omwe amamva chimodzimodzi, akuwonjezera.

Jan, wazaka 45 ku New Orleans, akuwonetsa malingaliro a Brittany okonda anthu amtundu. "Chaka chino chinabweretsa malingaliro odana ndi akuda kwambiri - m'mawu ndi mwakuthupi. Zikuwonekeratu kuti tikulimbana ndi tsankho lomwelo kuyambira zaka pafupifupi 400 zapitazo-ndipo izi ndizotopetsa maganizo kwa mkazi wakuda."

Chofunikira kwambiri kukumbukira ndikuti ngakhale zonse zomwe mungamve pakadali pano ndi chidani, pali anthu ambiri omwe amafuula chikondi ndi kuvomereza. Ngati mukukhala m'chigawo chomwe sichikugwirizana ndi malingaliro anu andale, lingalirani zoyambitsa gulu la anthu amalingaliro ofanana, a Luterman akuwonetsa. Sichiyenera kukhala chosakhazikika-mwina ndi abwenzi asanu ndi botolo la vinyo, kapena brunch Lamlungu kamodzi pamwezi. "Zochita zitha kutuluka kapena mwina sizingatulukire, koma tonsefe tidzafunika kuthandizana wina ndi mnzake m'masiku akudzawa, kuposa kale," akuwonjezera.

Mayina asinthidwa.

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