Momwe Mungalekerere Zinthu Zakale

Zamkati

• Malangizo okusiyirani
• 1. Pangani mawu abwino othetsera malingaliro opweteka
• 2. Pangani mtunda wakuthupi
• 3. Chitani ntchito yanu
• 4. Yesetsani kulingalira bwino
• 5. Khalani odekha ndi inu nokha
• 6. Lolani kuti zokhumudwitsa ziziyenda
• 7. Landirani kuti winayo sangapepese
• 8. Chitani ndi kudzisamalira
• 9. Muzizungulira ndi anthu omwe amakudzazani
• 10. Dzipatseni chilolezo choti mukambirane
• 11. Dzipatseni chilolezo kuti mukhululukire
• 12. Funani akatswiri
• Kutenga

Ndi funso lomwe ambiri a ife timadzifunsa nthawi iliyonse tikakumana ndi zowawa zam'mtima kapena zopweteketsa mtima: mumasiya bwanji zopweteka zakale ndikupitilira?

Kugwiritsabe ntchito zakale kungakhale chisankho chanzeru monga kusiya ndikupita patsogolo kungakhale chisankho.

Malangizo okusiyirani

Chinthu chimodzi chomwe chimatigwirizanitsa anthufe ndikumva kupweteka. Kaya ululuwo ndi wakuthupi kapena wamaganizidwe, tonsefe timakumana ndi zotipweteka. Chomwe chimatilekanitsa koma, ndimomwe timachitira ndikumva kuwawa.

khalani nacho kuti kupweteka kwam'mutu kumakulepheretsani kuchira pazochitika, ndi chisonyezo chakuti sitikuyenda patsogolo mwanjira yakukula.

Njira imodzi yabwino yochiritsira zopweteketsa ndikuphunzira kuchokera momwe zinthu ziliri ndikugwiritsa ntchito izi kuyang'ana kukulira ndi kupita patsogolo. Ngati tizingokhalira kuganizira zomwe "zikadakhala," titha kukhala olephera kupwetekedwa mtima ndikumakumbukira.

Ngati mukuyesera kupita patsogolo ndikukumana ndi zowawa, koma simukudziwa momwe mungayambire, nazi maupangiri 12 okuthandizani kuti musiye.

1. Pangani mawu abwino othetsera malingaliro opweteka

Momwe mumalankhulira ndi inu nokha zitha kukupititsani patsogolo kapena kukusungani. Nthawi zambiri, kukhala ndi mantra yomwe mumadziuza munthawi yamavuto am'mutu kumatha kukuthandizani kuti musinthe malingaliro anu.

Mwachitsanzo, katswiri wazamisala Carla Manly, PhD, m'malo mongokakamira, "Sindikukhulupirira kuti izi zidandichitikira!" yesani mawu abwino onga akuti, "Ndili ndi mwayi kuti ndapeza njira yatsopano m'moyo - njira yabwino kwa ine."

2. Pangani mtunda wakuthupi

Sizachilendo kumva wina akunena kuti muyenera kudzipatula kwa munthuyo kapena mkhalidwe womwe ukukupweteketsani.

Malinga ndi katswiri wama psychology a Ramani Durvasula, PhD, si lingaliro loipa chonchi. "Kupanga kutalikirana kwakuthupi kapena kwamaganizidwe pakati pathu ndi munthuyo kapena vutoli kungathandize kuti tisiye kupita pachifukwa chosavuta choti sitiyenera kulingalira za izi, kuzikonza, kapena kukumbutsidwa zambiri," akufotokoza.

3. Chitani ntchito yanu

Kudziyang'ana pawekha ndikofunikira. Muyenera kupanga chisankho chothana ndi zowawa zomwe mwakumana nazo. Mukamaganizira za munthu yemwe adakupweteketsani, bweretsani zomwe zikuchitika pano. Kenako, yang'anani pachinthu chomwe mumayamika.

4. Yesetsani kulingalira bwino

Pomwe titha kubweretsa chidwi chathu pakadali pano, atero a Lisa Olivera, omwe ali ndi chilolezo chokwatirana komanso wothandizira mabanja, zomwe zimachitika m'mbuyomu kapena mtsogolo mwathu sizingatikhudze kwambiri.

"Tikamayamba kupezeka, zopweteka zathu zimakhala zochepa pa ife, ndipo timakhala ndi ufulu wosankha momwe tikufunira pamoyo wathu," akuwonjezera.

5. Khalani odekha ndi inu nokha

Ngati yankho lanu loyamba pakulephera kusiya zowawa ndikudzidzudzula nokha, ndi nthawi yoti mudzionetsere ena kukoma mtima ndi chifundo.

Olivera akuti izi zikuwoneka ngati kudzichitira tokha momwe timachitira ndi mnzathu, kudzimvera chisoni, ndikupewa kufananiza pakati paulendo wathu ndi wa ena.

“Kupwetekedwa sikungapeweke, ndipo mwina sitingathe kupewa zopweteka; komabe, titha kusankha kudzisamalira mokoma mtima komanso mwachikondi zikafika, ”akufotokoza motero Olivera.

6. Lolani kuti zokhumudwitsa ziziyenda

Ngati mukuopa kuti mukumva kukhumudwa ndikukupewetsani, musadandaule, simuli nokha. M'malo mwake, a Durvasula akuti nthawi zambiri, anthu amawopa malingaliro monga chisoni, mkwiyo, kukhumudwitsidwa, kapena chisoni.

M'malo mongowamva, anthu amangoyesera kuwatsekera kunja, zomwe zitha kusokoneza njira yosiya. Durvasula akufotokoza kuti: "Kukhumudwa kumeneku kuli ngati kupindika." "Aloleni atuluke mwa inu ... Zitha kufuna kulowererapo m'maganizo, koma kulimbana nawo kungakusiyeni mutakhalabe," akuwonjezera.

7. Landirani kuti winayo sangapepese

Kuyembekezera kupepesa kuchokera kwa munthu amene wakupweteketsani kudzachedwetsa njira yosiya. Ngati mukumva kuwawa ndi kumva kuwawa, ndikofunikira kuti muzisamalira machiritso anu, zomwe zingatanthauze kuvomereza kuti munthu amene wakupwetekaniyo sangapepese.

8. Chitani ndi kudzisamalira

Tikamamva kuwawa, nthawi zambiri zimangokhala ngati palibe chomwe tikupweteka. Olivera akuti kudzisamalira kumawoneka ngati kukhazikitsa malire, kunena kuti ayi, kuchita zinthu zomwe zimatipatsa chisangalalo ndi chitonthozo, ndikumvetsera zosowa zathu poyamba.

"Tikamachita zambiri zodzisamalira m'moyo wathu watsiku ndi tsiku, timakhala ndi mphamvu zambiri. Kuchokera pamalopo, zopweteka zathu sizimakhala zazikulu, "akuwonjezera.

9. Muzizungulira ndi anthu omwe amakudzazani

Mfundo yosavuta koma yamphamvu iyi imatha kukuthandizani kuvulala kwambiri.

Sitingachite moyo wokha, ndipo sitingayembekezere kuti titha kuthana ndi zopweteka zathu zokha, mwina, akufotokoza Manly. "Kudzilola kudalira okondedwa athu ndi chithandizo chawo ndi njira yabwino kwambiri yoletsa kudzipatula komanso kutikumbutsa zabwino zomwe zili m'miyoyo yathu."

10. Dzipatseni chilolezo choti mukambirane

Mukamakumana ndi zopweteka kapena zomwe zakupweteketsani, ndikofunikira kuti mudzilole kuzilankhula.

Durvasula akuti nthawi zina anthu sangathe kuzisiya chifukwa amamva kuti saloledwa kukambirana za izi. "Izi zitha kukhala chifukwa anthu owazungulira sakufunanso kumva za izi kapena [munthuyo] amachita manyazi kapena kuchita manyazi kuti azilankhulabe," akufotokoza.

Koma kuyankhula ndikofunika. Ichi ndichifukwa chake a Durvasula amalimbikitsa kuti mupeze mnzanu kapena wothandizira yemwe ali wodekha komanso wololera komanso wofunitsitsa kukhala gulu lanu laphokoso.

11. Dzipatseni chilolezo kuti mukhululukire

Popeza kudikira kuti munthu wina akupepeseni kungalepheretse anthu ena kuti achoke, mungafunikire kudzikhululukira.

Kukhululuka ndikofunikira kuti muchiritse chifukwa kumakupatsani mwayi wosiya mkwiyo, kudziimba mlandu, manyazi, kukhumudwa, kapena malingaliro aliwonse omwe mungakhale nawo ndikupitilira.

12. Funani akatswiri

Ngati mukuvutika kuti musiye zokumana nazo zopweteka, mutha kupindula polankhula ndi akatswiri. Nthawi zina zimakhala zovuta kugwiritsa ntchito malangizowa panokha, ndipo mumafunikira katswiri wodziwa zambiri kuti akutsogolereni pochita izi.

Kutenga

Kuti musiye kupweteka kwakumbuyo, muyenera kupanga chisankho chodziwikiratu. Komabe, izi zimatha kutenga nthawi ndikuchita. Dzichitireni zabwino pamene chizolowezi chanu chongoganizira momwe mukuwonera zinthuzo, ndikukondwerera zopambana zomwe mwapeza.