Malangizo 8 Ogonjetsera Kudzidalira

Zamkati

• Choyamba, kusiyanitsa kuwonetsa kuthandizira kudalira kudalira
• Dziwani zochitika m'moyo wanu
• Dziwani momwe chikondi choyenera chikuwonekera
• Dziikireni malire
• Kumbukirani, mutha kuwongolera zochita zanu zokha
• Perekani chithandizo chathanzi
• Yesetsani kudziyesa nokha
• Dziwani zosowa zanu
• Ganizirani zamankhwala

Kudziyang'anira pawokha kumatanthauza dongosolo loyikira patsogolo zosowa za abwenzi kapena achibale pazosowa ndi zokhumba zanu.

Zimapitirira:

• kufuna kuthandiza wokondedwa amene akuvutika
• kumva kutonthozedwa ndikupezeka kwawo
• posafuna kuti achoke
• kudzipereka nthawi ndi nthawi kuti muthandize munthu amene mumakonda

Anthu nthawi zina amagwiritsa ntchito mawuwa pofotokoza machitidwe omwe sagwirizana bwino ndi tanthauzo ili, zomwe zimabweretsa chisokonezo.Ganizirani ngati chithandizo chomwe chimakhala choopsa kwambiri chimakhala chopanda thanzi.

Mawuwa amagwiritsidwa ntchito nthawi zambiri popereka upangiri pakulongosola zaukadaulo pamagulu omwe amakhudzidwa ndi kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo. Koma itha kugwiranso ntchito pamtundu uliwonse waubwenzi.

Ngati mukuganiza kuti mutha kukhala pachibwenzi chodalira, nazi zokuthandizani kuti mupite patsogolo.

Choyamba, kusiyanitsa kuwonetsa kuthandizira kudalira kudalira

Mzere pakati pamakhalidwe abwino, othandizira ndi odalirika nthawi zina umatha kukhala wovuta. Kupatula apo, sizachilendo kufuna kuthandiza mnzanu, makamaka ngati akukumana ndi zovuta.

Koma machitidwe odalira okhaokha ndi njira yowongolera kapena kuwongolera machitidwe kapena malingaliro amunthu wina, malinga ndi Katherine Fabrizio, mlangizi waluso wovomerezeka ku Raleigh, North Carolina. "Mukudumpha pampando waoyendetsa moyo wawo m'malo mokhalabe okwera," akufotokoza.

Mwina sichingakhale cholinga chanu kuwalamulira, koma popita nthawi, wokondedwa wanu atha kudalira thandizo lanu ndikupanga zochepa. Momwemonso, mutha kumva kukhutira kapena cholinga kuchokera kuzinthu zomwe mumapereka kwa mnzanu.

Zizindikiro zina zazikulu zodalira, malinga ndi Fabrizio, zitha kuphatikizira izi:

• kutanganidwa ndi khalidwe kapena moyo wa mnzako
• kudera nkhawa kwambiri zamakhalidwe a mnzanu kuposa momwe amachitira
• mkhalidwe womwe umatengera momwe mnzanu akumvera kapena momwe amachitira

Dziwani zochitika m'moyo wanu

Mukakhala ndi chogwirira chodalira kudalirika komwe kumawoneka, tengani msana ndikuyesera kuzindikira zomwe zimachitika mobwerezabwereza muubwenzi wanu wapano komanso wakale.

Ellen Biros, wogwira ntchito zachipatala wololedwa ku Suwanee, Georgia, akufotokoza kuti machitidwe odalira ena amakhala atakula. Zitsanzo zomwe mumaphunzira kuchokera kwa makolo anu ndikubwereza m'mabwenzi nthawi zambiri zimasewera mobwerezabwereza, mpaka mutawaimitsa. Koma ndizovuta kuswa kachitidwe musanazindikire.

Kodi muli ndi chizolowezi chokomera anthu omwe amafunikira thandizo lochuluka? Kodi zimakuvutani kufunsa mnzanu kuti akuthandizeni?

Malinga ndi Biros, anthu omwe amadalira ena amakonda kudalira kutsimikizika kuchokera kwa ena m'malo modzitsimikizira. Zizolowezi zodzipereka izi zitha kukuthandizani kuti mukhale pafupi ndi mnzanu. Mukakhala kuti simukuwachitira zinthu, mungamve kukhala opanda cholinga, osasangalala, kapena kudzidalira.

Kungovomereza mitundu iyi ndikofunikira kuti muthane nayo.

Dziwani momwe chikondi choyenera chikuwonekera

Sikuti maubale onse abwinobwino amakhala odalirana, koma maubale onse odalirana nthawi zambiri amakhala opanda thanzi.

Izi sizitanthauza kuti maubale odalirana atha. Kungotenga ntchito kuti zinthu ziyambenso kuyenda bwino. Chimodzi mwanjira zoyambirira pochita izi ndikungophunzira momwe ubale wabwino, wosadalira umawonekera.

Biros akuti: "Chikondi chathanzi chimafuna kukhala ndi moyo wabwino komanso wokhutira, pomwe chikondi chakupha chimaphatikizira kupsinjika ndi kutaya mtima."

Amagawana zina mwazizindikiro zachikondi choyenera:

• othandizana nawo amadalira anzawo
• Onse awiri amadzimva kukhala otetezeka pakudzidalira
• abwenzi akhoza kunyengerera

Paubwenzi wabwino, wokondedwa wanu ayenera kusamala zakukhosi kwanu, ndipo muyenera kukhala omasuka kufotokoza zakukhosi kwanu komanso zosowa zanu. Muyeneranso kudzimva kuti mutha kunena malingaliro osiyana ndi anzanu kapena kunena ayi pazinthu zomwe zimasemphana ndi zosowa zanu.

Dziikireni malire

Malire ndi malire omwe mumakhazikitsa pazomwe simumakhala bwino. Sizingakhale zosavuta nthawi zonse kukhazikitsa kapena kumamatira, makamaka ngati mukulimbana ndi kudalirana kwanthawi yayitali. Mutha kukhala ozolowera kupangitsa ena kukhala omasuka kotero kuti zimakuvutani kuganizira malire anu.

Zitha kuchitapo kanthu musanakhazikitse ndikukhazikika mobwerezabwereza, koma malangizowa atha kuthandiza:

• Mverani mwachifundo, koma siyani pamenepo. Pokhapokha mutakhudzidwa ndi vutoli, osapereka mayankho kapena kuyesa kuwakonzera.
• Yesetsani kukana mwaulemu. Yesani "Pepani, koma sindine womasuka pakadali pano" kapena "Ndikadakonda osati usikuuno, koma mwina nthawi ina."
• Dzifunseni nokha. Musanachite chilichonse, dzifunseni mafunso otsatirawa:
  • Chifukwa chiyani ndikuchita izi?
  • Kodi ndikufuna kapena ndikuwona kuti ndiyenera kutero?
  • Kodi izi zingawononge zanga zilizonse?
  • Kodi ndidzakhalabe ndi mphamvu zokwaniritsa zosowa zanga?

Kumbukirani, mutha kuwongolera zochita zanu zokha

Kuyesera kuwongolera zochita za wina nthawi zambiri sikuthandiza. Koma ngati mukumva kuti mukutsimikizika chifukwa chakumatha kuthandiza komanso kusamalira mnzanu, kulephera pa izi kungakupangitseni kukhala omvera chisoni.

Kusasintha kwawo kungakukhumudwitseni. Mutha kudzimva wokwiya kapena kukhumudwa kuti zoyesayesa zanu sizinathandize kwenikweni. Izi zimatha kukupangitsani kudzimva wopanda pake kapena kutsimikiza mtima kuyesetsa ngakhale kuyambiranso.

Kodi mungaletse bwanji izi?

Dzikumbutseni kuti mutha kudziletsa nokha. Muli ndi udindo wowongolera zomwe mumachita komanso zomwe mumachita. Simuli ndi udindo wamakhalidwe a mnzanu, kapena wina aliyense.

Kupereka kuwongolera kumaphatikizapo kuvomereza kusatsimikizika. Palibe amene akudziwa zamtsogolo. Izi zitha kukhala zowopsa, makamaka ngati mantha oti mukhala nokha kapena kutaya chibwenzi chanu amathandizira pamakhalidwe odalirana. Koma ngati ubale wanu uli ndi thanzi labwino, ndizotheka kukhala kosatha.

Perekani chithandizo chathanzi

Palibe cholakwika pakufuna kuthandiza mnzanu, koma pali njira zochitira izi osapereka zofuna zanu.

Thandizo labwino lingaphatikizepo:

• kuyankhula zamavuto kuti mupeze malingaliro atsopano
• kumvetsera mavuto a mnzanu kapena nkhawa zake
• kukambirana za mayankho omwe angakhalepo ndi iwo, m'malo chifukwa iwo
• kupereka malingaliro kapena upangiri mukafunsidwa, kenako nkubwerera kuti awalole kusankha kwawo
• kupereka chifundo ndi kuvomereza

Kumbukirani, mutha kuwonetsa chikondi kwa wokondedwa wanu pocheza nawo ndikukhala nawo popanda kuyesa kuwongolera kapena kuwongolera machitidwe awo. Othandizana nawo akuyenera kukhala okondana wina ndi mnzake momwe alili, osati zomwe amachitirana wina ndi mnzake.

Yesetsani kudziyesa nokha

Kudzidalira komanso kudzidalira nthawi zambiri zimalumikizidwa. Ngati mumagwirizanitsa kudzidalira kwanu ndi kuthekera kwanu kusamalira ena, kukulitsa kudzidalira satero zimadalira ubale wanu ndi ena zitha kukhala zovuta.

Koma kudzidalira kumakulitsa chidaliro, chimwemwe, komanso kudzidalira. Zonsezi zitha kukupangitsani kukhala kosavuta kuti mufotokozere zosowa zanu ndikuyika malire, zonsezi ndizofunikira kuthana ndi kudalira.

Kuphunzira kudzidalira kumatenga nthawi. Malangizo awa akhoza kukuyikani panjira yoyenera:

• Muzicheza ndi anthu amene amakusangalatsani. Zimakhala zovuta nthawi zonse kusiya chibwenzi, ngakhale mutakhala okonzeka kupita kwina. Pakadali pano, zungulirani anthu abwino omwe amakukondani ndikukuvomerezani ndikuthandizani. Chepetsani nthawi yanu ndi anthu omwe amakuwonongerani mphamvu zanu ndikunena kapena kuchita zinthu zomwe zimakupangitsani kudzimvera chisoni.
• Chitani zinthu zomwe mumakonda. Mwina nthawi yomwe mwakhala mukusamalira ena yakulepheretsani kuchita zosangalatsa kapena zosangalatsa zina. Yesetsani kupatula nthawi tsiku lililonse yochitira zinthu zomwe zimakusangalatsani, kaya ndi kuwerenga buku kapena kuyenda.
• Samalirani thanzi lanu. Kusamalira thupi lanu kumathandizanso kuti mukhale ndi thanzi labwino. Onetsetsani kuti mukudya pafupipafupi ndikugona mokwanira usiku uliwonse. Izi ndizofunikira zomwe muyenera kukwaniritsa.
• Siyani zolankhula zanu zoipa. Ngati mumakonda kudzidzudzula nokha, yesetsani kusinthanso malingaliro olakwikawa kuti mudzitsimikizire nokha. Mwachitsanzo, m'malo mongonena kuti "sindine wabwino," udziwuze kuti "ndikuyesetsa momwe ndingathere."

Dziwani zosowa zanu

Kumbukirani, zolemba zodalirika nthawi zambiri zimayamba adakali ana. Mwina padakhala nthawi yayitali kuyambira pomwe mudayima kuti muganizire zosowa zanu ndi zokhumba zanu.

Dzifunseni nokha zomwe mukufuna kuchokera m'moyo, popanda zofuna za wina aliyense. Kodi mukufuna chibwenzi? Banja? Ntchito inayake? Kukhala kwina? Yesani kufalitsa nkhani pazomwe mafunso awa abweretsa.

Kuyesera zochitika zatsopano kungathandize. Ngati simukudziwa chomwe mumakonda, yesani zinthu zomwe zimakusangalatsani. Mutha kupeza kuti muli ndi luso kapena luso lomwe simunadziwepo.

Iyi si njira yofulumira. Zitha kutenga milungu, miyezi, kapena ngakhale zaka kuti mupange malingaliro okhazikika pazomwe mukufunadi komanso zomwe mukufuna. Koma zili bwino. Gawo lofunikira ndiloti mukuganiza.

Ganizirani zamankhwala

Makhalidwe odalirana amatha kukhazikika kwambiri mumakhalidwe ndi zizolowezi kotero kuti zingakhale zovuta kuzizindikira panokha. Ngakhale mutawazindikira, kudalira codificency kumatha kukhala kovuta kuthana ndi solo.

Ngati mukuyesetsa kuthana ndi vuto lodana ndi anthu ena, a Biros amalimbikitsa kuti mupeze thandizo kwa wothandizira yemwe wodziwa bwino ntchito pankhaniyi.

Amatha kukuthandizani:

• kuzindikira ndikuchitapo kanthu kuti athane ndi machitidwe amachitidwe modalira
• yesetsani kukulitsa kudzidalira
• fufuzani zomwe mukufuna pamoyo wanu
• sinthani ndi kutsutsa malingaliro olakwika

"Kupitiliza kuika malingaliro ako kunja kwa iwe wekha kumakuika pamalo opanda mphamvu," akutero Fabrizio. Popita nthawi, izi zimatha kudzetsa chiyembekezo komanso kusowa chochita, zomwe zimatha kukhumudwitsa.

Kudalira modalira ndi nkhani yovuta, koma mutagwira ntchito yaying'ono, mutha kuigonjetsa ndikuyamba kupanga ubale wabwino womwe ungathandizenso zosowa zanu.