Momwe Mungasamalirire Kusamvana Kwapakati Monga Pro

Zamkati

• Choyamba, zindikirani mtundu wa mkangano
• Mikangano yabodza
• Kusamvana kwenikweni
• Yamikani mkangano
• Kusamvana kwa mfundo
• Kusamvana kwapadera
• Mikangano ya Meta
• Kenako, sankhani malingaliro anu
• Kuchotsa
• Nthawi yoti muchoke
• Malo ogona
• Mpikisano
• Kunyengerera
• Mgwirizano
• Misampha yoti mupewe
• Kudana
• Kuchotsa zofuna
• Kutsutsa
• Kudandaula mozungulira
• Mfundo zotsutsana
• Mfundo yofunika

Mkangano wapakati umatanthauza mkangano wamtundu uliwonse wokhudza anthu awiri kapena kupitilira apo. Ndizosiyana ndi mkatikusamvana kwanu, komwe kumatanthauza mkangano wamkati ndi inu nokha.

Mikangano yofatsa kapena yayikulu, yolumikizana pakati pa anthu ndi zotsatira zachilengedwe zothandizana ndi anthu. Anthu ali ndi maumunthu osiyanasiyana, zikhulupiliro, zomwe amayembekezera, komanso malingaliro pakuthana ndi mavuto. Mukamagwira ntchito kapena kucheza ndi munthu amene sagawana nawo malingaliro kapena zolinga, mikangano imatha kubwera.

Kusamvana sikofunikira nthawi zonse, komabe. Komanso sizikhala zoipa nthawi zonse. Kuphunzira momwe mungazindikire ndikugwiritsa ntchito kuthana ndi mikangano yabwinobwino munjira zopindulitsa, zathanzi ndi luso lofunikira lomwe lingakuthandizeni kukhala ndi ubale wabwino m'moyo watsiku ndi tsiku.

Choyamba, zindikirani mtundu wa mkangano

Mwachidule, mikangano imachitika pamene anthu awiri kapena kupitilira apo sagwirizana. Mutha kukhala ndi mkangano wamawu, monga mkangano, kapena mikangano yosayankhula, yomwe itha kupangitsa kuti wina akutembenukire kapena kukuchokani.

Ngakhale mkangano ugwedezeka bwanji, mutha kuzindikira kuti ndi umodzi mwamitundu isanu ndi umodziyi.

Mikangano yabodza

Mikangano yabodza imachitika mwanjira izi:

• Kusamvana kumabweretsa kusiyana kwa malingaliro.
• Anthu omwe akuchita nawo mkanganowo amakhulupirira kuti ali ndi zolinga zosiyana pomwe, kwenikweni, ali ndi zolinga zofananira.
• Munthu m'modzi yemwe akuchita nawo mkangano amanyoza kapena kunyoza mnzake (nthawi zina amatchedwa badger).

Nthawi zambiri, mutha kuthetsa kusamvana kwachinyengo popanda zovuta zambiri. Zimangotengera kumveketsa pang'ono pazomwe mukutanthauza kapena kuwunikiranso momwe zolinga zanu zikugwirizanira.

Anthu ambiri samakonda kusekedwa, makamaka pamaso pa anthu ena, chifukwa chake mungafunikirenso kuyankhula kudzera mumakhalidwe oyipa kapena oseketsa.

Kusamvana kwenikweni

Mukutsimikiza kotheratu kuti njoka zimatha kumva, koma mnzanu akuumirira kuti sangatero chifukwa alibe makutu.

Izi zikuwonetsa kusamvana kwenikweni, komwe kumatchedwanso mkangano wosavuta. Kusamvana kwenikweni kumachitika pamene anthu awiri kapena kupitilira pamenepo sagwirizana pazidziwitso kapena zowona za chinthu.

Chifukwa kusamvana kwamtunduwu kumakhudza zowona, mutha kuzithetsa mosavuta. Zomwe muyenera kuchita ndikuwona gwero lodalirika la chowonadi.

Yamikani mkangano

Mikangano yamtunduwu imabwera pamene malingaliro osiyanasiyana amatsogolera ku kusamvana.

Ngati inu ndi mnzanu mumaganiza mosiyana pa ufulu wochotsa mimba, mwachitsanzo, kapena inu ndi mchimwene wanu muli ndi zikhulupiriro zosiyana, mutha kukhala mukusamvana.

Mikangano yamtunduwu sikuti imakhala ndi njira yothetsera mavuto nthawi zonse. Anthu atha kukhala ndi zikhulupiriro komanso zikhulupiriro zosiyanasiyana, chifukwa chake zitha kukhala zothandiza kwambiri kungovomereza malingaliro anu otsutsana (mwaulemu) ndikuvomereza kuti mwina simusintha wina ndi mnzake.

Kusamvana kwa mfundo

Kusamvana kumeneku kumachitika pamene anthu sangathe kuvomereza njira yothetsera mavuto kapena njira yochitira zinthu. Umunthu, kuleredwa, maphunziro, ndi zinthu zina zilizonse zitha kukhala ndi gawo panjira ya wina kutsatira mfundo, kapena kuthetsa mavuto, chifukwa chake kusamvana kwamtunduwu si kwachilendo.

Zitha kuchitika makolo akagwirizana pa njira yabwino kwambiri yolangira mwana, mwachitsanzo, kapena pomwe anzawo akakhala ndi malingaliro osiyanasiyana pazomwe angachite polojekiti yayikulu.

Kusamvana kwapadera

Kodi mudakhalapo ndi mkangano pomwe inu kapena munthu wina yemwe simunakhudzidwepo mutha kubwerera kapena kuvomereza kutayika?

Mikangano ya Ego nthawi zambiri imayambika limodzi ndi mikangano ina, ndipo imatha kupanga kusagwirizana kulikonse kukhala kovuta kuyenda. Nthawi zambiri zimachitika mkangano ukakhala waumwini.

Mwina inu, kapena ena omwe akukhudzidwa, mukugwirizanitsa zotsatira zakusamvana ndi luntha lanu. Kapenanso winawake amagwiritsa ntchito kusamvana ngati nsanja yopangira kuweruza kapena kunyoza. Mulimonse momwe zingakhalire, kuyesa kuthetsa kusamvana kwenikweni kumatha kuchepa mukamayang'ana kwambiri mkangano m'malo mwake.

Mikangano ya Meta

Mikangano ya Meta imachitika mukamasemphana ndi mikangano yanu.

Zitsanzo zina:

• "Nthawi zonse mumangogwedeza mutu, koma simumva zomwe ndikunenazi!"
• "Ndizopanda chilungamo. Sizimene tikulankhula izi konse. "
• “Wagwiridwa kwambiri. Sindingathe kuthana nawe ukakhala chonchi. "

Pofuna kuthetsa kusamvana bwino, muyenera kulankhulana momveka bwino. Ngakhale kusamvana kwa meta kumatha kubweretsa zovuta pakulankhulana, nthawi zambiri kumatero m'njira zosathandiza.

Mukapanda kuthana ndi mavuto olumikizana bwino, makamaka mukamasemphana, mkangano ungakhale wovuta kwambiri.

Kenako, sankhani malingaliro anu

Kuthetsa kusamvana sikutanthauza kuti kupewa mikangano. Maganizo ndi malingaliro osiyanasiyana atha kupereka mwayi womvetsetsa momwe anthu ena akumvera ndikuwalumikizana nawo pamlingo wakuya.

Pakakhala mikangano mosasunthika, kulankhulana mwaulemu ndikofunikira. Simungagwirizane nthawi zonse ndi aliyense, ndipo zili bwino. Mawu aulemu komanso malingaliro otseguka angakuthandizeni kuthetsa - kapena kuvomereza - kusiyana bwino.

Pali njira zambiri zathanzi, zopindulitsa zothetsera mikangano, ngakhale zina sizigwira ntchito nthawi zonse. Nthawi zambiri, kusamvana kumakumana ndi imodzi mwamagawo awa.

Kuchotsa

Mukachoka pamikangano, mumapewa vutoli. Simulankhula za izo, kapena mumangonena za izo mozungulira.

Kuchotsa (komwe kumatchedwanso kupewa) kungaphatikizepo:

• kunyalanyaza anthu ena omwe akukhudzidwa
• kukana kukambirana nkhaniyi
• kutseka kwathunthu
• kuchoka pamikangano
• kuthetsa vutoli

Kupewa kusamvana kumatha kubweretsa mavuto m'mabanja zikachitika kwambiri, makamaka ngati mumapewa kukambirana za zinthu zomwe zimakhudzani inu kapena wina aliyense wokhudzidwa. Kuchoka kumatha kukulitsa vuto, kapena pang'ono, kulipangitsa kuti liziwoneka lofunikira pakapita nthawi.

Wina angasankhe kupewa mikangano pokana kukambirana mwachindunji. M'malo mwake, amapitilizabe kuzitchula mosapita m'mbali ndi mawu onyodola kapena mawu achipongwe. Izi zitha kukulitsa kukhumudwa ndikupangitsa kuti zinthu zikhale zoyipa kwa aliyense wokhudzidwa.

Nthawi yoti muchoke

Kuchotsa si nkhani zoipa zonse, komabe. Zitha kukhala zothandiza makamaka kuthana ndi:

• Mikangano yayikulu. Kukhumudwa kukakulira, mutha kusiya kwakanthawi kuti muchepetse ndikudzisonkhanitsa nokha. Kupewerera kwakanthawi kumatha kuthandizira kwambiri, makamaka ngati simukufuna kuwononga ubale wanu ndi munthu wina amene akukhudzidwa.
• Mikangano yosafunikira. Mutha kusankha kupewa mikangano ngati ili yokhudza china chake chomwe sichofunika kwenikweni, makamaka ngati ubale wanu ndi munthu winayo wakhudzidwa amachita nkhani. Mwachitsanzo, mnzanu wapamtima akuumiriza kuti apambane mpikisano wanu womaliza wamasewera. Mukukumbukira zotsatira zina, koma simumva ngati mukukangana za izi, ndiye kuti mumasiya kutsutsa kukumbukira kwake.

Malo ogona

Malo okhala amaphatikizapo kuika zosowa za wina patsogolo. Mumavomereza mkanganowu, womwe umakupatsani mwayi wokhala "wamkulu," titero kunena kwake.

Ena omwe akukhudzidwawo angakumvereni bwino, koma kumbukirani kuti nthawi zonse kusamalira anthu ena pakakhala kusamvana kumakulepheretsani kupeza zosowa zanu. Mwina mulibe nazo vuto kuti musapeze zomwe mukufuna popeza mukufuna kuti mnzanuyo akhale wosangalala. Kapenanso mwina simusamala zakomwe mukupita kutchuthi.

Ubale wathanzi uyenera kuphatikizira ena. Monga momwe mumaganizira zosowa ndi zokhumba za mnzanu, akuyeneranso kuganizira zanu mukamafotokoza.

Monga pazinthu zabwino zambiri m'moyo, kudziletsa ndikofunikira pankhani yogona.

Mpikisano

Kukakamira, kapena kukakamiza, kumaphatikizapo kukakamira malingaliro anu. Mukufuna "kupambana" mkanganowo, chifukwa chake mumayesetsa kuti enawo atenge nawo mbali kuti aziwona zinthu momwe inu mukumvera.

Kupikisana nthawi zonse sikutanthauza kugwiritsa ntchito ndewu kapena njira zowasokoneza. Mukupikisanabe ngati mupempha mwaulemu kapena kuyesa kukopa ena kuti apite ndi malingaliro anu.

Mosiyana ndi zomwe ambiri amakhulupirira, mpikisano angathe kumabweretsa zotsatira zabwino, makamaka mukamachita mpikisano mwaulemu.

Nenani kuti mukugwira ntchito yamagulu. Mukudziwa kuti muli ndi yankho lolondola, ndipo muli ndi umboni wokuthandizani. Mukapambana mkangano, aliyense amatenga nawo mbali. Ngati muli ndi chidziwitso chambiri pazochitika zinazake, mungafunikenso kupangitsa ena kutsata kutsogolera kwanu, makamaka ngati pangakhale ngozi.

Kusamvana nthawi zina kumatha kukulira, ngati aliyense amene akutenga nawo mbali akufuna kupambana, makamaka ngati palibe amene akufuna kulingalira njira zina zothetsera mavutowo.

Zitha kukhudzanso maubale. Monga momwe kukhalira nthawi zonse kumatha kukhala ndi vuto pakapita nthawi, kukakamiza wina kuti akhalemo inu amathanso kubweretsa mavuto, makamaka ngati mpikisano umakakamizidwa.

Kunyengerera

Mukanyengerera, mumapereka chifukwa, koma winayo amatero. Mwanjira ina, nonse mumapeza zina zomwe mukufuna. Izi zitha kupangitsa kuti kunyengerera kuwoneke ngati njira yabwino yothetsera kusamvana. Aliyense amapambana, sichoncho?

Inde, komanso ayi, popeza inunso mumataya pang'ono. Pansi, pamene m'modzi kapena nonse a inu mukukumbukira zomwe mudalola, mutha kukhumudwa kapena kukwiya. Nthawi zina, zitha kuchititsa kuti mkangano woyambiranso ubwerere.

Kunyengerera kumatha kukhala ndi maubwino, komabe. Nthawi zambiri kumakhala bwino kupeza zina mwazomwe mukufuna kuposa kusapeza imodzi. Itha kugwiranso ntchito bwino ngati, pazifukwa zilizonse, sikutheka kuthana ndi vuto m'njira yokhutiritsa aliyense.

Ingokumbukirani, mukafika poti mutha kunyengerera, nthawi zambiri mumatha kupita patsogolo ndikuthandizana kuthetsa mavuto.

Mgwirizano

Kugwirizana bwino nthawi zambiri amachita kutanthauza kuti aliyense amapambana. Koma pamafunika kuyesetsa kwa aliyense, choncho ngakhale atha kupereka zabwino zambiri kwakanthawi kuposa njira zina zothetsera kusamvana, atha kukhala ndi mbiri yocheperako kuposa mayankho achangu monga kunyengerera.

Kuti mugwirizane bwino, muyenera kulumikizana. Nonse mumagawana zakukhosi kwanu ndikugwiritsa ntchito kumvetsera mwachidwi kuti mumvetsetse malingaliro a winayo. Mumagwiritsa ntchito chidziwitsochi kupeza yankho lomwe lingakuthandizeni nonse kupeza zomwe mukufuna.

Ndibwino kuyesa kuyanjana ngati kuli kotheka. Njirayi imalimbikitsidwa makamaka pothetsa kusamvana ndi wokondedwa wanu, kapena wina aliyense amene mukufuna kukhala naye paubwenzi wolimba.

Kuti mugwirizane bwino, yang'anani kusamvana kwanu ngati vuto lothetsera limodzi, osati mpikisano wopambana m'modzi. Kusinthasintha kumathandizanso. Mutha kuganiza kuti mwapeza yankho lolondola, koma mnzanuyo atha kukhala ndi lingaliro lomwe limapangitsa yankho lanu kukhala labwino.

Misampha yoti mupewe

Sizovuta nthawi zonse kuthana ndi mikangano pakati pa anthu, makamaka ngati anthu omwe akutenga nawo mbali ali ndi malingaliro osiyana. Pewani njira zowonongekazi, ndipo mupeza kuti mutha kuyendetsa bwino ngakhale mikangano yovuta kwambiri.

Kudana

Mkangano wanu ukakhala mkangano wokwanira, mwina mwakhala mukufika podana. Chidani chitha kuphatikizira kukumenyani, kufuula, ndi mitundu ina yamanenedwe achipongwe.

A Brian Jones, omwe amathandizira ku Seattle, amalimbikitsa kuti muzisamala:

• kunyoza kapena kusinthana chipongwe
• kutsutsa kapena kuukira munthu wina m'malo mokomera kudandaula kwina
• kudzitchinjiriza osati kutseguka poyankha
• miyala

Izi zimatha kuletsa kusintha kulikonse, a Jones akufotokoza.

Kuchotsa zofuna

Chitsanzochi chimafotokoza zomwe munthu m'modzi angafotokozere zosowa zake kapena amayesa kuthana ndi mikangano, koma winayo amayankha mwakuchotsa kapena kupewa vutolo.

Popeza kuti ndi munthu m'modzi yekha amene amayesetsa kuthetsa vutoli, nthawi zambiri silimathetsedwa. Nthawi zambiri, munthu amene akufuna kuthetsa kusamvana azingoyambitsa nkhani pomwe winayo apitiliza kusintha nkhaniyo kapena kutuluka pazokambirana.

Nthawi zambiri, kukhumudwa ndi mkwiyo zimakhazikika mbali zonse ziwiri pamene vuto likuipiraipira.

Kutsutsa

Izi zimachitika munthu m'modzi akabweza mkangano ndikuimba mnzake mlandu.

Mumafunsa mnzanu chifukwa chomwe sanasambitsire nyumbayo monga momwe ananenera, ndipo amayankha nati, "Chabwino, mwasuntha chidebecho, ndiye sindinachipeze."

Kusamvana komwe kumakhudza kutsutsa kumatha kutha msanga. Kunenedwa kumatha kubweretsa kukhumudwa komanso kupsinjika, ndipo mwina mungamve ngati kubweza mawu m'malo mosamala kuyankha moyenera.

A Jones amalimbikitsa kugwiritsa ntchito mawu oti "Ine" kupewa izi. M'malo mongonena kuti, "Wachita X," kapena "Nthawi zonse Y," yesani china chonga ichi, "Zimandivuta X" kapena "Ndikumva Y."

Izi zimakuthandizani kugawana malingaliro anu popanda kudzudzula wina aliyense.

Kudandaula mozungulira

Mnzanu akabutsa nkhani, mutha kuyesedwa kuti muyambitse nkhani yosagwirizana yomwe yakusowetsani mtendere.

Inu mukuti: “Kodi chonde mungayika nsapato zanu m'chipindamo mukafika kunyumba? Nthawi zonse ndimawakhumudwitsa. ”

Mchemwali wanu akudandaula kuti: "O, ndikatero, ndikangochotsa mabuku anu. Onsewa ali patebulopo ndipo palibe amene angawagwiritse ntchito. ”

"Ndibwino kuti tisunge zokambirana za nkhani imodzi," akutero a Jones. Kulimbana ndi vuto limodzi panthawi kumatha kuchititsa kuti kusamvana kukhale kosavuta.

Mfundo zotsutsana

Kodi mudathetsa mkangano musanapeze yankho lenileni? Simungathe kuyankhulanso za vutoli, ndiye mwataya mtima, kapena winawake adachoka.

Nkhani zikasathe kuthetsedwa, mwina amabweranso, mobwerezabwereza.

Kukangana za chinthu chomwecho mobwerezabwereza kumatha kusokoneza ubale wanu. Zomwe zidayamba ngati vuto laling'ono ndi yankho losavuta zitha kukhala mikangano yomwe imakukwiyitsani nonse nthawi yomweyo.

Mfundo yofunika

Kaya kusamvana kumachitika pakati pa abwenzi, anzako akuntchito, kapena okondana, sizachilendo. Mutha kumva kuti simukudziwa njira yabwino yothetsera kusamvana kwamtundu uliwonse mukamabwera, koma kumbukirani kuti nthawi zonse sipakhala njira yabwino kwambiri.

Mukayandikira mikangano ndikusinthasintha, ulemu, komanso kufunitsitsa kumvera ndikuganizira malingaliro a ena, mudzakhala ndi mwayi wabwino wogwirizira bwino kuti mupeze yankho labwino kwa aliyense.

Crystal Raypole adagwirapo ntchito ngati wolemba komanso mkonzi wa GoodTherapy. Magawo ake achidwi akuphatikiza zilankhulo ndi mabuku aku Asia, kumasulira kwachijapani, kuphika, sayansi yachilengedwe, chiyembekezo chogonana, komanso thanzi lamaganizidwe. Makamaka, akudzipereka kuthandiza kuchepetsa manyazi pazokhudza matenda amisala.