Kodi Kwenikweni 'Kupusitsa Kwambiri' Ndi Chiyani?

Zamkati

• Ndi chiyani?
• Kodi ichi ndi chinthu chatsopano?
• Kodi kubera mwachinyengo ndi kofanana ndi kubera m'maganizo?
• Zomwe zimawerengedwa ngati kubera pang'ono?
• Kodi nthawi zambiri zimawoneka bwanji pochita?
• Nanga bwanji ngati ndinu amene mukuchita, ndipo simunazindikire?
• Nanga bwanji ngati siinu, koma mnzanu?
• Mumakhazikitsa bwanji malire?
• Kodi mumadutsa bwanji?
• Mfundo yofunika

Ndi chiyani?

Zachidziwikire, ndikosavuta kuzindikira kubera mukakhala kuti mukunyambita / kusisita / kukhudza.

Koma nanga bwanji zinthu zomwe ndizobisika pang'ono - monga kutsinzinira, kusambira pansi pa tebulo, kapena kugwira bondo?

Pali liwu loti zinthu zomwe zimakopa mzere (woonda kwambiri) pakati pakukhulupirika ndi kusakhulupirika: kubera pang'ono.

“Kubera mwachinyengo kumatanthauza zinthu zazing'ono zomwe pafupifupi kuchita zachinyengo, "atero a Tammy Shaklee, katswiri wazamaubwenzi a LGBTQ komanso woyambitsa H4M Matchmaking.

Zomwe zimawerengedwa ngati "kubera" ndizosiyana muubwenzi uliwonse, chifukwa chake zomwe zimayenerera kuti kubera pang'ono kungasiyane, nazonso.

Monga mwalamulo, kubera pang'ono ndi chilichonse chomwe chimakhudza kwambiri zam'maganizo, mwathupi, kapena zogonana kuposa zomwe zimawonedwa ngati zosowa muubwenzi wanu.

"Ndi malo oterera," akutero. "Ndi chilichonse chomwe akhoza zidzachititsa kuti m'tsogolo muno azidzachita zachinyengo. ”

Kodi ichi ndi chinthu chatsopano?

Ayi! Chifukwa cha kutengeka kwathu kwatsopano ndi kutchula zochitika za zibwenzi ndi zovuta, tangokhala ndi chilankhulo choti titchule khalidweli.

Shaklee akuti mitundu yodziwika bwino yokhudza kubera mwachinyengo imaphatikizapo kutumizirana mameseji ndi malo ochezera ( * chifuwa * DM slides * chifuwa *), ndiye ngati kubera pang'ono zikuwoneka zofala kwambiri kuposa kale lonse, ndichifukwa chakuti tayamba kuchuluka pa intaneti.

Kodi kubera mwachinyengo ndi kofanana ndi kubera m'maganizo?

Ayi, koma ziwirizi zimakumana.

Monga ananenera Gigi Engle, kazembe wa brand ya Lifestyle Condoms, wothandizira zachiwerewere wovomerezeka, komanso wolemba "Zolakwitsa Zonse: Buku Lophunzitsira Kugonana, Chikondi, ndi Moyo" akutero, "Kuonera mwachinyengo ndi msuweni wonyenga."

Ndikubera pamaganizidwe pali zero hanky panky, koma pali malingaliro osayenera.

Kubera kwazing'ono, komano, sikutanthauza mathero am'malingaliro amalingaliro.

Zomwe zimawerengedwa ngati kubera pang'ono?

Apanso, zimatengera zinthu zomwe zimawoneka ngati kubera muubwenzi wanu.

Izi zikutanthauza kuti chilichonse mukamatsitsa pulogalamu yatsopano ya zibwenzi Lex "kuti muwone!" kusewera ndi tsitsi la bwenzi, kujambula kawiri chithunzi cha wakale wa Instagram, kapena kukhala ndi zonse, ahem, anawonjezera nkhomaliro ndi wogwira naye ntchito amatha kuwerengera.

Zitsanzo zina ndi izi:

• nthawi zonse kuyankha nkhani ya Instagram ya munthu winawake
• kumvetsera kwambiri munthu yemwe sichoncho Mnzanu kuposa mnzanuyo pa phwando
• kusokoneza wina kapena kuchotsa kusinthana kwa matchulidwe kuti mnzanuyo asadziwe kuti mukucheza
• kugawana zambiri zaumunthu zokonda zakugonana, ma kink, ndi malingaliro ndi wina yemwe sichoncho mnzako

Engle akuti chinyengo chaching'ono sichimangokhala maubwenzi amodzi okha.

"Ngati muli pachibwenzi chomwe mumaloledwa kugonana kunja kwa chibwenzi, koma osakhudzidwa, kukhala ndiubwenzi wachinsinsi ndi wina kungakhale mtundu wina wonyenga."

Akuwonjezeranso kuti zomwezi zimachitika ngati muli pachibwenzi chambiri ndipo musamuuze mnzanu za munthu watsopano yemwe mukumuwona ngakhale kuti mwavomera.

Kodi nthawi zambiri zimawoneka bwanji pochita?

Nthawi zambiri imakhala nthawi yochulukirapo, mphamvu, kapena mutu mwa munthu amene si mnzanu, akutero Shaklee.

Izi zitha kutanthauza kuti muzilumikizana kwambiri ndi anzanu ogwira nawo ntchito - lingalirani chakudya chamasana, kuwatenga khofi m'mawa, kapena kutumizirana mameseji pambuyo pa nthawi.

Zingatanthauze kukhala ochezeka kwambiri "ochezera" pazanema - kukonda zithunzi zakale za wina, kuyendera mbiri yawo mobwerezabwereza, kapena kutsikira m'ma DM awo.

Zingatanthauzenso kuvala mosiyana mukadziwa kuti muwona munthu wina (#dresstoimpress), kapena kulephera kutchula Main yanu kwa munthu amene mumamukonda.

"Ngati matumbo anu akuwuzani kuti wokondedwa wanu sangasangalale ndi zochita zanu kapena manja anu - kapena mukumva kuti simukuchita bwino - ndichizindikiro chabwino kuti mukubera pang'ono," akutero Engle.

Nanga bwanji ngati ndinu amene mukuchita, ndipo simunazindikire?

Chizindikiro choyamba kuti mukubera pang'ono ndikuika patsogolo wina - ndikumverera kwawo, kuvomerezedwa, kapena chidwi - kwa mnzanu.

"Zabwino zikachitika, mumamuuza wina musanamuuze mnzanu?" akufunsa Shaklee. "Wina akamalankhula, kodi umapezeka kuti ukulowera kwa iwo?"

Ngati yankho lanu ndi Y-E-S kwa chilichonse cha izi, yambani kulingalira kuti CHIFUKWA chiyani mwakhala mukuchita kapena kumva motere.

Kodi simukusamalidwa kwenikweni, kulumikizana nawo kwambiri, kapena kusangalatsidwa ndi okondedwa wanu kuposa kale? Makhalidwe anu okayikitsa atha kukhala osonyeza kusakhutira ndi momwe chibwenzi chanu chilili.

Ngati ndi choncho - ndipo mukuganiza kuti ubale wanu uyenera kutetezedwa - ndi nthawi yoti mugwire ntchito ndi mnzanuyo kukonza.

Ngati, komabe, pakhala kusintha kosinthika muubwenzi wanu komwe sikukuwoneka kuti kungasinthidwe, yankho likhoza kukhala kutha, atero Shaklee.

Nanga bwanji ngati siinu, koma mnzanu?

Yakwana nthawi yocheza chat. “Bwerani kwa mnzanuyo ndi zitsanzo zachinyengo. Fotokozani momwe machitidwe awo amakupwetekerani, ”akutero Engle.

Cholinga chizikhala kusiya zokambirana ndi pulani yamasewera kuti mupite patsogolo (kapena ayi…).

Momwe mungayankhire:

• “Ndikuwona kuti mumakonda kwambiri X; Ndingakonde kukambirana za ngati ndi zomwe mumadziwa, chifukwa chake zingakhale choncho, komanso momwe zimandipangitsira kumva. "
• "Ndili ndi mantha kuti ndibweretse izi, koma ndidawona kuti mudapereka ndemanga zingapo pazithunzi zakujambula kwanu, ndipo zimandipangitsa kukhala wosasangalala. Kodi mungakhale omasuka kucheza ndi anzanu pa TV komanso malire ake? ”
• "Takhala tikuwonana kwa miyezi ingapo tsopano, ndipo ndikufuna kuti tikambirane za kuchotsa mapulogalamu azibwenzi pama foni athu osati 'kusambira chabe'."

Kumbukirani: Maganizo anu ndi omveka.

"Akakuwuzani kuti 'sichinthu chachikulu,' kapena kukupangitsani kumva kuti ndinu osowa kapena opanda nzeru, imeneyo ndi njira yowunikira mafuta," akutero Engle. Ndipo ndicho chifukwa chabwino cholingalirananso za unansi wanu.

Koma, ngati mnzanu akuyankha mosamala, ndipo ali wokonzeka kusintha machitidwe ake ndikukhazikitsa malire, ubale wanu ukhoza kulimba.

Mumakhazikitsa bwanji malire?

Kukhazikitsa malire komwe kunalibe aliyense kale kumakhala kovuta. Izi zingathandize.

Kambiranani moona mtima. Pitani kumalo osalowerera ndale (ganizirani: paki, galimoto yoyimilira, malo ogulitsa khofi), ndiye, pitani kuyambiranso chabwino, zenizeni, pazomwe mukumva komanso komwe mukuganiza kuti kumverera komwe kumachokera. (Ndipo onetsetsani kuti wokondedwa wanu ali ndi malo oti afotokozere zakukhosi kwawo, nawonso!).

Chitani zinthu zolimbitsa ubwenzi wanu. Chifukwa kubera zazing'ono nthawi zambiri kumawonetsera zovuta m'banjamo, gwirani ntchito ndi mnzanuyo kuti mukonze izi. Izi zitha kuphatikizira nthawi yabwino kwambiri, kuyambitsa nthawi yogonana, kapena kuchita PDA yambiri.

Chezani pazomwe zimawerengedwa ngati kubera komanso kubera pang'ono. Ndipo nenani mosapita m'mbali! Kodi DMing aliyense ndi aliyense pa Instagram ndi ayi? Kapena ndi anthu omwe mudakhala nawo pachibwenzi kale kapena omwe mumawakonda? Kodi chikondi nthawi zonse chimakhala chosayenera, kapena chimangoperekedwa kwa amnzanu okha? Kodi kuyankhulana ndi wogwira naye ntchito pambuyo pa maola nthawi zonse kumakhala kosalungama, kapena zimangochitika pamalemba (mosiyana ndi imelo)?

Kambiranani izi mobwerezabwereza. Monga anzanu ogwira nawo ntchito, abwenzi, ndi anzanu amalowa m'miyoyo yanu komanso momwe mumakhalira ndi anzanu, mipata yatsopano yabodza ingabwere. Chifukwa chake pitilizani kufunsa mnzanu zomwe zimamveka bwino mkati mwa chibwenzi chanu.

Kodi mumadutsa bwanji?

Zowona, malinga ndi Engle, akuti "si mabanja onse ndidzatero azitha kudutsa chinyengo chabodza. ”

Koma, ngati kusunthira patsogolo ndicholinga, Shaklee akuti Chinsinsicho ndi chisamaliro chosasinthasintha, kuwona mtima, manja osalekeza achikondi, kutsimikizika, ndikuyika patsogolo ubalewo.

"Kufunafuna chithandizo cha akatswiri omwe ali ndi zilolezo omwe angakuthandizeni kuthana ndi izi kungathandizenso," akutero.

Mfundo yofunika

Zomwe zimawerengedwa kuti kubera pang'ono kumasiyana pamgwirizano ndi ubale, kutengera zomwe zakhazikitsidwa ngati kubera. Ichi ndichifukwa chake kupanga malire amalingaliro, akuthupi, ndi ogonana (ndipo posakhalitsa!) Ndikofunikira kwambiri.

Ngati kubera kwazing'ono kumachitika m'banjamo, ndikofunikira kuthana nawo kenako ndikupanga lingaliro kuti zisachitikenso.

Kupatula apo, itha kutchedwa yaying'ono-kubera, koma sizitanthauza kuti si zazikulu-nkhani.

A Gabrielle Kassel ndi mlembi wa ku New York okhudzana ndi kugonana komanso thanzi komanso CrossFit Level 1 Trainer. Amakhala munthu wam'mawa, adayesa opitilira 200, ndikudya, kuledzera, ndikupaka makala - zonsezi mdzina la utolankhani. Munthawi yake yaulere, amapezeka kuti amawerenga mabuku azodzilankhulira ndi ma buku achikondi, kukanikiza benchi, kapena kuvina. Tsatirani iye mopitirira Instagram.