Umayi Unandikakamiza Kuthetsa Nkhawa Zanga - Ndipo Funani Thandizo

Zamkati

• Kupeza wothandizira
• Kulipira patsogolo
• Malangizo kwa amayi omwe ali ndi vuto la nkhawa
• Zindikirani kuti ndi nkhawa yanu, osati ya mwana wanu
• Musapemphe okondedwa anu kuti achite zomwe zimawopsyeza inu
• Landirani kuti mudzakhala ndi nkhawa
• Pezani chithandizo cha akatswiri
• Pangani nthawi yodzisamalira
• Kupeza wothandizira

Thanzi ndi thanzi zimakhudza aliyense wa ife mosiyanasiyana. Iyi ndi nkhani ya munthu m'modzi.

Amayi Kim Walters * adadzipeza tsiku lina akulimbana ndi kupweteka kwa khutu kopweteka komwe sikadatha. Anakwanitsa kuvala ana aang'ono osafuna kuvala ndikulowa mgalimoto kuti azitha kupita kwa dokotala.

Monga mayi wokhala pakhomo yemwe amagwira ntchito nthawi yayitali kutali, kuzunza ana zinali zachilendo - koma lero zidamupweteka kwambiri.

“Mtima wanga unkangodumpha pachifuwa, ndinamva kupuma pang'ono, ndipo pakamwa panga panali ngati thonje. Ngakhale ndimadziwa izi ngati zisonyezo za nkhawa zomwe ndakhala ndikumenya - ndikubisalira - kwa moyo wanga wonse, zidandigwera kuti 'ndingapezeke' ngati sindingathe kuzipeza nthawi yomwe ndimakafika kuofesi ya adotolo adatenga thanzi langa, ”Kim adagawana nawo.

Chomwe chinamuwonjezera nkhawa chinali chakuti iye ndi mwamuna wake anali kutuluka tsiku lotsatira kuchokera ku Chicago paulendo wopanda ana wopita ku California dziko la vinyo.

“Chofunika ndichakuti, ngati mumada nkhawa kuti nkhawa ikubwera, ibwera. Ndipo zidachitikadi, ”akutero Kim. "Ndinayamba mantha ndili mu ofesi ya dokotala mu Okutobala 2011. Sindinathe kuwona, ndimayenera kuyenda pamlingo, ndipo kuthamanga kwa magazi kwanga kunali kupyola padenga."

Pomwe Kim adapita ku Napa Valley ndi amuna awo, akuti zidasintha kwambiri thanzi lake.

"Nditabwerera kunyumba, ndidadziwa kuti nkhawa yanga yafika pachimake ndipo sikutha. Ndinalibe njala ndipo sindinkagona usiku, nthawi zina ndimadzuka mwamantha. Sindinkafuna ngakhale kuwerengera ana anga (chomwe chinali chinthu changa chokonda kuchita), ndipo zinali zopundula, "akukumbukira.

"Ndinkachita mantha kupita kulikonse komwe ndidakhala ndikumva nkhawa, kuwopa kuti ndingachite mantha."

Kuda nkhawa kwake kunagunda pafupifupi kulikonse komwe amapita - sitolo, laibulale, nyumba yosungiramo zinthu zakale za ana, paki, ndi kupitirira apo. Komabe, adadziwa kuti kukhala m'nyumba ndi ana awiri aang'ono sinali yankho.

"Chifukwa chake, ndimapitilirabe mosasamala kanthu kuti ndagona moipa bwanji usiku watha kapena nkhawa yomwe ndidakhala nayo patsikuli. Sindinasiye. Tsiku lililonse ndinali wotopetsa komanso wamantha, ”akukumbukira Kim.

Mpaka pomwe adaganiza zopeza thandizo.

Kupeza wothandizira

Kim adafuna kudziwa ngati nkhawa yake idakulirakulira chifukwa chamthupi komanso malingaliro. Anayamba powona dokotala woyang'anira wamkulu yemwe adapeza kuti chithokomiro chake sichikugwira bwino ntchito ndikumupatsa mankhwala oyenera.

Anapitanso kwa naturopath komanso katswiri wazakudya, yemwe adayesa kuwunika ngati zakudya zina zimamupangitsa kukhala ndi nkhawa.

"Ndimamva ngati ndikutsatira china chake chifukwa izi sizinathandize," akutero Kim.

Nthawi yomweyo, dokotala wophatikiza adalamula kuti Xanax atengeredwe pakufunika pomwe Kim adamva mantha.

"Izo sizimagwira ntchito kwa ine. Nthawi zonse ndinkakhala ndi nkhawa, ndipo ndimadziwa kuti mankhwalawa amamwa mankhwala osokoneza bongo osati njira zothetsera mavuto, ”akufotokoza Kim.

Pamapeto pake kupeza wothandizira woyenera kunamuthandiza kwambiri.

"Ngakhale kuti nkhawa inali nthawi zonse m'moyo wanga, ndinakhala zaka 32 ndisanawonane ndi dokotala. Kupeza imodzi kumakhala kovuta, ndipo ndidadutsa anayi ndisanakhazikike pa yomwe inandigwirira ntchito, ”akutero Kim.

Atamupeza ndi nkhawa yayikulu, wothandizirayo adagwiritsa ntchito chidziwitso chamakhalidwe (CBT), chomwe chimakuphunzitsani kusinthanso malingaliro osathandiza.

"Mwachitsanzo, 'sindidzakhalanso ndi nkhawa' adakhala 'Ndingakhale ndi moyo wabwinobwino, koma ndimatha kukhala ndi nkhawa,' 'akufotokoza Kim.

Wothandizira ankagwiritsanso ntchito, zomwe zimakupatsani inu mantha anu ndikukulepheretsani kupewa.

“Izi zidandithandiza kwambiri. Lingaliro lothandizira kuwonetseredwa ndikudziwonetsera nokha ku zinthu zomwe mumawopa, mobwerezabwereza, pang'onopang'ono, "akutero. "Kuwonekera mobwerezabwereza kuzinthu zomwe zimawopsa kumatipatsa mwayi 'wozolowera' nkhawa ndikuphunzira kuti kuda nkhawa sikowopsa."

Wothandizira adamupatsa homuweki. Mwachitsanzo, kuyambira pomwe magazi ake adamupanikiza zidamupangitsa kukhala ndi nkhawa, Kim adauzidwa kuti aziwonera makanema am'magazi a YouTube pa YouTube, amutenge magazi kuthamanga kugolosale, ndikubwerera ku ofesi ya dokotala komwe adakumana ndi mantha koyamba ndikukhala chipinda chodikirira.

"Pomwe ndimapita ku Jewel kuti ndikatenge magazi anga zimawoneka zopusa poyamba, ndidazindikira kuti ndimachita mobwerezabwereza, sindinachite mantha mantha," akutero Kim.

"Nditakumana ndi zomwe zimandichititsa mantha, m'malo mozipewa, zovuta zina monga kupita nawo ku nyumba yosungiramo zinthu zakale kapena ku library kumakhalanso kosavuta. Pambuyo pa chaka chathunthu ndikuchita mantha, ndinali kuwunika pang'ono. ”

Kim adapita kukamuwona kangapo pamwezi kwa zaka zitatu atagwidwa ndimantha koyamba. Ndi kupita patsogolo konse komwe adachita, adamva kufunitsitsa kuthandiza ena omwe ali ndi nkhawa kuti achite chimodzimodzi.

Kulipira patsogolo

Mu 2016, Kim adabwerera kusukulu kuti akapeze digiri yaukadaulo pantchito zantchito. Akuti sichinali chisankho chophweka, koma pamapeto pake chisankho chabwino kwambiri chomwe adachitapo.

“Ndili ndi zaka 38 ndili ndi ana awiri ndipo ndimada nkhawa ndi ndalama komanso nthawi. Ndipo ndinali wamantha. Bwanji ngati ndalephera? Pofika nthawi imeneyi, ndimadziwa zoyenera kuchita ndikakumana ndi zinazake - ndikuvomereza, ”akutero Kim.

Mothandizidwa ndi amuna awo, abale ake, ndi abwenzi ake, Kim adamaliza maphunziro awo mu 2018, ndipo pano akugwira ntchito yothandizira odwala kuchipatala cha Illinois komwe amagwiritsa ntchito mankhwala othandizira kuti athandize achikulire omwe ali ndi vuto lodzikakamiza (OCPD) ), post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), komanso nkhawa.

“Ngakhale kumbuyo kwambiri kuposa kale lonse, kuda nkhawa kwanga kumakondabe kutsogoloku nthawi zina. Momwe ndimaphunzirira kuchita pomwe chimandivutitsa kwambiri, ndimangopitilizabe ngakhale zili choncho, ”akufotokoza Kim.

"Kuwona anthu omwe akuvutika kwambiri kuposa momwe ndimakumana ndi mantha awo tsiku lililonse ndikundilimbikitsa kuti ndizikhala ndi nkhawa. Ndimakonda kuganiza kuti ndatuluka mikhalidwe yanga yakulamulidwa ndi mantha komanso nkhawa - ndikukumana nawo. "

Malangizo kwa amayi omwe ali ndi vuto la nkhawa

Patricia Thornton, PhD, katswiri wazamisala ku New York City, akuti nkhawa komanso kukakamira kuchita zinthu mopitirira muyeso (OCD) zimakonda kutuluka pafupifupi zaka 10 ndi 11 komanso kukhala wamkulu.

"Komanso, pali nthawi m'moyo wa munthu ngati ali ndi OCD kapena nkhawa zomwe zingayambitse zatsopano," Thornton akuuza Healthline. "Nthawi zina anthu amatha kuthana ndi OCD kapena nkhawa ndipo adakwanitsa kuyisamalira bwino, koma zinthu zina zikafika pochulukirapo ndipamene OCD ndi nkhawa zimatha kukulirakulira."

Monga Kim, kukhala mayi kumatha kukhala imodzi mwanthawi izi, akuwonjezera Thornton.

Pofuna kuthana ndi nkhawa mukakhala mayi, akuti:

Zindikirani kuti ndi nkhawa yanu, osati ya mwana wanu

Mukakhala ndi nkhawa yayikulu, Thornton akuti yesetsani kuti musafotokozere ana anu nkhawa yanu.

"Nkhawa imafalikira - osati ngati nyongolosi - koma m'njira yakuti ngati kholo lili ndi nkhawa, mwana wawo azitenga nkhawa imeneyo," akutero. "Ndikofunikira ngati mukufuna kukhala ndi mwana wolimba mtima kuti musafalitse nkhawa zanu ndikuzindikira kuti ndizo yanu nkhawa. ”

Kwa amayi omwe nkhawa zawo zimayambitsidwa ndikuwopa chitetezo cha ana awo, akuti, "Muyenera kuthandiza kuchepetsa nkhawa zanu kuti musamalire bwino ana anu. Kukhala kholo labwino kumalola ana anu kuchita zinthu zomwe zimawopsa, kaya ndi njira yophunzirira kuyenda kapena kuyang'ana malo osewerera kapena kulandira laisensi yawo. ”

Musapemphe okondedwa anu kuti achite zomwe zimawopsyeza inu

Ngati kutenga ana anu kupaki kumayambitsa mantha, ndizachilengedwe kufunsa wina kuti awatenge. Komabe, a Thornton ati kuchita izi kumangowonjezera nkhawa.

“Nthawi zambiri, abale amatenga nawo mbali pakukakamiza wodwalayo. Chifukwa chake, ngati mayi anena kuti, 'Sindingasinthe thewera la mwana,' ndipo abambo amachita nthawi zonse m'malo mwake, izi zikuthandiza mayi kuti azipewa, "akufotokoza a Thornton.

Ngakhale anthu ambiri akufuna kuthandiza polowererapo ndikuthana ndi nkhawa yanu, akuti chinthu chabwino ndichakuti mudzayang'ane nokha.

"Izi ndizovuta kuyenda chifukwa anthu okonda amafuna kuthandiza, chifukwa chake okondedwa anga amapita [kuchipatala] ndi odwala anga. Mwanjira imeneyi nditha kufotokoza zomwe zimathandiza wodwalayo komanso zomwe sizothandiza. "

Mwachitsanzo, anganene kuti wokondedwa angauze mayi ake ali ndi nkhawa kuti: "Ngati simungathe kuchoka panyumba, ndikhoza kukutengerani ana, koma iyi ndi yankho lakanthawi. Uyenera kupeza njira yoti uchite wekha. ”

Landirani kuti mudzakhala ndi nkhawa

Thornton akufotokoza kuti kuda nkhawa kumakhala kwachilengedwe pamlingo winawake, popeza kuti dongosolo lathu lamanjenje lotimvera likutiuza kuti timenyane kapena kuthawa tikazindikira ngozi.

Komabe, ngozi yomwe ikudziwika ndi chifukwa chamalingaliro obweretsedwa ndi vuto la nkhawa, akuti kulimbana ndikoyankha kwabwino.

“Umafuna kupitiriza ndi kuvomereza kuti ukudera nkhawa. Mwachitsanzo, ngati sitolo kapena paki ndi yoopsa chifukwa munali ndi thupi lanu pomwe munalipo lomwe linakukwiyitsani ndi kuyambitsa dongosolo lanu lamanjenje, [muyenera kuzindikira kuti] palibe chowopsa chilichonse kapena muyenera kuthawa , ”Akutero.

M'malo mopewa malo ogulitsira kapena paki, Thornton akuti muyenera kuyembekezera kuda nkhawa m'malo amenewo ndikukhala nawo.

“Dziwani kuti kuda nkhawa sikungakupheni. Mumakhala bwino mukanena kuti 'Chabwino, ndikudandaula, ndipo ndili bwino.' ”

Pezani chithandizo cha akatswiri

Thornton amazindikira kuti malingaliro ake onse si ntchito yovuta, ndipo nthawi zambiri amafuna thandizo la akatswiri.

Akuti kafukufuku akuwonetsa kuti CBT ndi ERP ndizothandiza kwambiri pochiza matenda amisala, ndikulangiza kupeza wothandizira yemwe amachita zonsezi.

"Kutulutsa malingaliro ndi malingaliro [omwe amachititsa nkhawa] komanso kupewa mayankho, zomwe zikutanthauza kuti musachite chilichonse chokhudza izi, ndiyo njira yabwino kwambiri yothanirana ndi nkhawa," atero a Thornton.

“Nkhawa sizikhala pamlingo wofanana. Mukangoisiya, ipita yokha. Koma [kwa iwo omwe ali ndi vuto la nkhawa kapena OCD], nthawi zambiri malingaliro ndi momwe akumvera zimasokoneza kotero kuti munthuyo akuganiza kuti ayenera kuchitapo kanthu. ”

Pangani nthawi yodzisamalira

Kuphatikiza pakupeza nthawi yocheza ndi ana anu komanso nthawi yocheza, Thornton akuti kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi kumatha kukhala ndi gawo labwino kwa iwo omwe ali ndi nkhawa komanso kukhumudwa.

“Zizindikiro zakuda nkhawa monga mtima wanu ukugunda, kutuluka thukuta, komanso kupepuka monse kungakhale zotsatira zolimbitsa thupi kwambiri. Mwa kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi, mukubwezeretsanso ubongo wanu kuti muzindikire kuti ngati mtima wanu ukugunda, suyenera kukhala wokhudzana ndi zoopsa, koma ungayambitsenso chifukwa chokhala achangu, "akufotokoza.

Amanenanso kuti kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi kumatha kukweza chisangalalo.

"Ndimauza odwala anga kuti azichita cardio katatu kapena kanayi pa sabata," akutero.

Kupeza wothandizira

Ngati mukufuna kulankhula ndi munthu wina, Anxiety and Depression Association of American ili ndi njira yosakira kupeza wothandizira wamba.

*Dzina lasinthidwa kukhala chinsinsi

Cathy Cassata ndi wolemba pawokha wodziwikiratu pa nkhani zathanzi, thanzi lam'mutu, komanso machitidwe amunthu. Ali ndi luso lolemba ndi kutengeka komanso kulumikizana ndi owerenga mwanzeru komanso moyenera. Werengani zambiri za ntchito yakePano.