Momwe Ndidapiririra ndi Mayi Wodwala Matenda Aakulu Yemwe Adakana Chithandizo Kwa Zaka 40

Zamkati

• Nthawi zambiri, sungadziwe. Nthawi zambiri, amamwetulira mwaulemu ndikusuntha tsikulo ndi mawu onyengerera.
• Kupeza kumveka
• Kupeza mtendere
• Kuyang'ana mtsogolo, limodzi

Nthawi zambiri, sungadziwe. Nthawi zambiri, amamwetulira mwaulemu ndikusuntha tsikulo ndi mawu onyengerera.

Ndi diso lokha, lophunzitsidwa kupyola zaka za maphwando owonongedwa a masiku akubadwa, malo ogulitsira mwachinsinsi, ndi mabizinesi atsopano omwe angaliwone, okonzeka kuwonekera popanda chenjezo.

Nthawi zina zimawonekera ndikaiwala kuti ndikhale wodekha komanso womvetsetsa. Kukhumudwa kosinthika kumawonjezera mawu anga. Nkhope yake imasintha. Pakamwa pake, monga yanga, yomwe imangoyang'ana pansi pamakona, imawoneka kuti yatsamira kwambiri. Maso ake akuda, owonda kuyambira zaka zakubvula kwambiri, amatuluka kuti apange mizere yayitali pamphumi pake. Misozi imayamba kugwetsa pamene adalemba zifukwa zonse zomwe adalephera ngati mayi.

"Mukadakhala achimwemwe ndikadapanda kukhala pano," akufuula pomwe amatolera zinthu zomwe zikuwoneka ngati zofunika kutuluka: buku lanyimbo ya piyano, mulu wa ngongole ndi ma risiti, mankhwala a milomo.

Ubongo wanga wazaka 7 umakhala ndi lingaliro lokhala ndi moyo wopanda Amayi. Bwanji atangochoka osabwerako kunyumba, Ndikuganiza. Ndimaganiziranso moyo ngati wamwalira. Koma kumverera kodziwika kumalowa mwa chikumbumtima changa ngati nkhungu yozizira, yonyowa: kudziimba mlandu.

Ndikulira, ngakhale sindingathe kudziwa ngati zenizeni chifukwa misozi yachinyengo yakhala ikugwira ntchito nthawi zambiri kuti izindikire kusiyana. "Ndiwe mayi wabwino," ndinatero mwakachetechete. "Ndimakukondani." Samandikhulupirira. Adakunyamulabe: chosema chagalasi chosonkhanitsidwa, kabudula wa jean wodula mosasunthika wosungidwa kumunda. Ndiyenera kuyesetsa kwambiri.

Izi zimathera imodzi mwa njira ziwiri: bambo anga amachoka kuntchito kuti "athetse vutoli," kapena chithumwa changa ndichokwanira kuti amukhazike mtima pansi. Nthawi ino, abambo anga sacheza momasuka ndi abwana awo. Patatha mphindi makumi atatu, takhala pampando. Ndimayang'anitsitsa osafotokoza momwe akufotokozera mosavomerezeka chifukwa chomveka chomwe adadulira mnzake wapamtima sabata yatha.

"Mukadakhala achimwemwe ndikadapanda kukhala pano," akutero. Mawuwo amayenda pamutu panga, koma ndimamwetulira, ndikugwedeza, ndikuyang'anitsitsa.

Kupeza kumveka

Amayi anga sanapezeke ndi matenda osokonezeka bongo. Anapita kwa othandizira angapo, koma sanakhalitse. Anthu ena amalakwitsa kunena kuti anthu omwe ali ndi matenda ochititsa munthu kusinthasintha zochitika amakhala "openga," ndipo amayi anga si choncho ayi. Anthu omwe ali ndi vuto losinthasintha zochitika amasowa mankhwala, ndipo iye samawasowa, akutero. Amangokhala wopanikizika, wogwira ntchito mopitirira muyeso, komanso kuvutika kuti asunge maubale ndi ntchito zatsopano. Patsiku lomwe wagona pasanafike 2 koloko masana, Amayi atatopa akufotokoza kuti ngati bambo akanakhala kunyumba kwambiri, ngati akanakhala ndi ntchito yatsopano, ngati kukonzanso nyumba kungachitike, sakanakhala chonchi. Ndimatsala pang'ono kumukhulupirira.

Sizinali zachisoni nthawi zonse komanso misozi. Tapanga zikumbukiro zabwino zambiri. Panthawiyo, sindinamvetsetse kuti nthawi zake zodzichitira zokha, zokolola, komanso kuseka m'matumbo zinali gawo la matenda, nawonso. Sindinamvetsetse kuti kudzaza ngolo ndi zovala zatsopano ndi maswiti "chifukwa" anali mbendera yofiira. Tikameta tsitsi, nthawi ina kusukulu tinagwetsa khoma lodyeramo chifukwa nyumbayo imafuna kuyatsa kwachilengedwe. Zomwe ndimakumbukira kuti nthawi zabwino kwambiri zinali zodetsa nkhawa monga nthawi zosamvera. Matenda a bipolar ali ndi mitundu yambiri ya imvi.

Melvin McInnis, MD, wofufuza wamkulu komanso wamkulu wa sayansi ku Heinz C. Prechter Bipolar Research Fund, akuti ndichifukwa chake wakhala zaka 25 zapitazi akuphunzira za matendawa.

"Kukula ndi kuzama kwa malingaliro amunthu omwe akuwonetsedwa mu matendawa ndi ozama," akutero.

Asanafike ku Yunivesite ya Michigan ku 2004, McInnis adakhala zaka zambiri akuyesera kuti apeze jini loti akhale ndiudindo. Kulephera kumeneku kunamupangitsa kuti ayambe kuphunzira za kutalika kwa matenda ochititsa munthu kusinthasintha zochitika kuti adziwe bwino za matendawa.

Kwa banja langa, sipanakhale chithunzi chowonekera. Zolemba zamankhwala za amayi anga sizimawoneka ngati zamankhwala zokwanira kuti ziziwayendera mwadzidzidzi kwa wazamisala. Nthawi zake zakukhumudwa, zomwe nthawi zambiri amamuwona ngati wopanikizika ndi moyo, sizimawoneka ngati zotsika mokwanira.

Ndicho chimene chiri ndi matenda a maganizo ochititsa munthu kusinthasintha zochitika: Ndizovuta kwambiri kuposa mndandanda wazizindikiro zomwe mungapeze pa intaneti kuti mupeze 100% yolondola. Amafuna maulendo angapo kwakanthawi kuti awonetse machitidwe. Sitinafike patali chonchi. Sankawoneka kapena kuchita ngati anthu amisala omwe mumawona m'makanema. Chifukwa chake sayenera kukhala nacho, sichoncho?

Ngakhale pali mafunso ambiri osayankhidwa, kafukufuku amadziwa zinthu zingapo pokhudzana ndi matenda ochititsa munthu kusinthasintha zochitika.

• Zimakhudza pafupifupi 2.6 peresenti ya anthu aku U.S.
• Zimafunikira matenda opatsirana, omwe amafunikira maulendo ambiri owonera.
• Matendawa ndi.
• Amakula nthawi yaunyamata kapena munthu wamkulu.
• Palibe mankhwala, koma pali njira zambiri zamankhwala zomwe zingapezeke.
• a odwala omwe ali ndi matenda ochititsa munthu kusinthasintha zochitika amayamba kuzindikira molakwika.

Zaka zingapo ndipo wothandizira mmodzi pambuyo pake, ndinaphunzira kuthekera kwa matenda amisala amama anga. Zachidziwikire, wothandizira wanga sananene motsimikiza kuti sanakumaneko naye, koma akuti kuthekera kwake "ndikotheka kwambiri." Zinali nthawi yomweyo mpumulo komanso mtolo wina. Ndinali ndi mayankho, koma amamva kuti ndiochedwa kwambiri. Kodi moyo wathu ukadakhala wosiyana bwanji ndikadapezeka kuti matendawa - ngakhale anali osafunikira - adzafika msanga?

Kupeza mtendere

Ndinakwiyira amayi anga kwazaka zambiri. Ndinkaganiza kuti ndimadana naye chifukwa chondipangitsa kukula msanga. Sindinali wokonzeka kutonthoza pamene adataya chibwenzi china, kumutsimikizira kuti ndiwokongola komanso woyenera kukondedwa, kapena kudziphunzitsa momwe ndingathetsere ntchito ya quadratic.

Ndine womaliza mwa abale asanu. Nthawi zambiri pa moyo wanga, anali ine ndi azichimwene anga atatu okha. Tidapambana m'njira zosiyanasiyana. Ndinadziimba mlandu kwambiri. Wothandizira wina anandiuza kuti ndichifukwa ndinali mkazi yekhayo mnyumba - akazi amafunika kumamatira limodzi ndi zonsezi. Ndinayang'ana pakati ndikumva kufunika kokhala mwana wagolide yemwe sanalakwitse kukhala msungwana yemwe amangofuna kukhala mwana osadandaula zaudindo. Ndili ndi zaka 18, ndidakhala ndi chibwenzi changa panthawiyo ndikulumbira kuti sindidzayang'ananso kumbuyo.

Mayi anga tsopano amakhala kudera lina ndi mwamuna wawo watsopano. Talumikizananso. Zolankhula zathu ndizochepa pamalingaliro aulemu a Facebook kapena kusinthana mwaulemu za tchuthi.

McInnis akuti anthu ngati amayi anga, omwe sagwirizana ndi zovuta zilizonse zomwe sizingasinthe, nthawi zambiri amakhala chifukwa cha kusalidwa komwe kumachitika chifukwa cha matendawa. “Maganizo olakwika kwambiri okhudzana ndi kusinthasintha zochitika ndikuti anthu omwe ali ndi vutoli sagwira ntchito pagulu. Kuti amasintha mwachangu pakati pamavuto ndi manic. Nthawi zambiri matendawa amabisala pansi, ”akutero.

Monga mwana wa kholo lomwe lili ndi vuto losinthasintha zochitika, mumamva zambiri: mkwiyo, kusokonezeka, mkwiyo, kudziimba mlandu. Malingaliro amenewo samatha mosavuta, ngakhale ndi nthawi. Koma ndikayang'ana m'mbuyo, ndazindikira kuti zambiri mwazimene zimachitika chifukwa cholephera kumuthandiza. Kukhala komwe adamva kuti ali yekhayekha, wosokonezeka, wamantha, komanso wopanda mphamvu. Ndi lolemera lomwe tonsefe sitinakwanitse kunyamula.

Kuyang'ana mtsogolo, limodzi

Ngakhale sitinapatsidwe matenda ovomerezeka, kudziwa zomwe ndikudziwa tsopano kumandilola kuti ndiyang'ane zakumbuyo mosiyana. Zimandilola kukhala woleza mtima akandiimbira foni panthawi yachisoni. Zimandipatsa mphamvu kuti ndimukumbutse mokoma mtima kuti akapangenso chithandizo china ndikupewa kukonzanso zinyumba kumbuyo kwake. Chiyembekezo changa ndi chakuti apeza mankhwala omwe amulole kuti asamenyane kwambiri tsiku lililonse. Izi zimuthandiza kuti asakhale ndi nkhawa.

Ulendo wanga wamachiritso udatenga zaka zambiri. Sindingayembekezere kuti zake zichitike mwadzidzidzi. Koma nthawi ino, sadzakhala yekha.

Cecilia Meis ndi a wolemba pawokha komanso mkonzi okhazikika pakukula kwamunthu, thanzi, ukhondo, komanso kuchita bizinesi. Analandira digiri yake yoyamba mu utolankhani wa magazini kuchokera ku University of Missouri. Kunja kolemba, amakonda volleyball yamchenga ndikuyesera malo odyera atsopano. Mutha kumulemba pa tweet pa @CeciliaMeis.