Poteteza Kusakhala Pagulu Nthawi Zonse

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Ndimakonda kuganiza kuti ndine munthu wochezeka. Inde, ndimavutika ndi nkhope yopumula mwa apo ndi apo, koma amene amandidziwa samalakwitsa minyewa ya nkhope yanga chifukwa imapendekera pansi mosalekeza. M'malo mwake, ndikukhulupirira kuti amandiona ngati womvera wabwino yemwe sangakulole kuti uzitenga ayisikilimu wokha-zikhalidwe zonse zofunika za bwenzi labwino.

M'mbuyomu, monga wophunzira wakunja ku koleji yaboma komwe anthu ambiri amadziwana kale, ndimayenera kuponya ukonde wanga wonse kuti ndipeze mayanjano. Mwamwayi pakati pa anzanga omwe ndinakumana nawo mu dorm wanga ndi sorority ndinalowa nawo atangophunzira, panalibe nthawi zambiri pamene ine anakakamizika kukhala ndekha. Koma pamene ndakula, kukhala ndi gulu lolimba laubwenzi kuphatikiza pakupanga! Anzanu atsopano akuwoneka ngati otopetsa. Kuphatikiza apo, pamene moyo umakhala wotanganidwa ndi ntchito, banja, komanso kukhala munthu wachikulire, ndimawona kuti ndimasangalala ndi nthawi yanga pandekha momwe ndinalili kale. (Koma ndi nthawi yochuluka motani yomwe mukufunikira?)

Zonsezi sizinathetse mkwiyo wanga usiku wina posachedwapa pamene ine ndi mwamuna wanga tinayenda kokagula zakudya kukatenga chogwiritsira chakumapeto kwa chakudya chamadzulo. Mwamuna wanga (wokonda kucheza kwambiri) adabwera panja pomwe ndimadikirira ndi galu wathu ndipo adati adamuwona mnzake kuchokera kwathu komwe adandifunsa za ine.

"Lowani kuti moni," adatero.

"Zili bwino, ndikhulupilira kuti ndidzamupeza nthawi ina mtawuniyi," ndidamuyankha.

"Ndiwe wotsutsana kwambiri ndi anthu," adayankha.

"Sindine, ine ndimangokhala wosasamala pakati pa anthu!" Ndinayankha moseka.

Ngakhale ndikudziwa kuti anali kuseka (makamaka, ndikuganiza), ndemanga ya mwamuna wanga inandipatsa kaye kaye. Mwina ine ndili kupeza wotsutsa pang'ono.

Ndiye taganizirani chisangalalo changa pamene milungu ingapo pambuyo pake ndinamva kuti majini angathandize kwambiri mmene ndinalili wocheza ndi anthu (kapena odana ndi anthu). Ofufuza a Yep ochokera ku National University of Singapore adapeza kuti majini awiri-CD38 ndi CD157-omwe amawerengedwa kuti ndi mahomoni anu ocheza nawo, atha kukhala ndi udindo woweruza ngati wina ali wochezeka kapena wosasamala. Anthu omwe ali ndi ma CD38 apamwamba amakonda kukhala ochezeka kuposa ena chifukwa cha kuchuluka kwa oxytocin yomwe imayambitsa kutulutsidwa, asayansi atero.

Ndiyenera kuvomereza, zinali zotsitsimula kukhala ndi "chifukwa" kuti ndisamafune khofi kapena kucheza mwachangu ndi wina. Zimakhala ngati ndikukhumba kuti ukadakhala ndi maso abuluu koma kudziwa kuti palibe chomwe ungachite chifukwa ... sayansi! Chifukwa chake maso abulauni ndi nthawi ina ya "ine" adzangoyenera kuchita. (PS Pano pali m'mene mungapezere nthawi yodzisamalira ngakhale mulibe.) Ndinaseka ndi amuna anga kuti ngakhale nditakhala amafuna kuti ndikhale ochezeka kwambiri, ma DNA anga adaletsa. Ngakhale ndikudziwa kuti izi sizowona kwathunthu, kumva za kafukufukuyu kunandichotsa nthawi imeneyo ndimangomwetulira ndikugwedeza munthu wina (kenako ndikuyendabe) ndikuyima kuti ndikhale ndi mphindi 20 zomwe sindinali. t kwenikweni.

Ngakhale mutakhala kuti mumakonda kukhala ochezeka, kukhala ndi zibwenzi zambiri za atsikana kuti mudzaze nthawi yanu yosangalala komanso kumapeto kwa sabata sikungopambananso ayi. M'malo mwake, wofufuza wina kwanthawi yayitali komanso katswiri wazachikhalidwe ku Britain, a Robin Dunbar, Ph.D., omwe amaphunzira momwe zimathandizira kuyanjana kwa anthu komanso maubale, akuti kukula kwa ubongo wamunthu kumakhazikitsa malire pagulu lanu. Dunbar (yemwe adafalitsa izi mu 1993 mu nyuzipepalayi Sayansi Yamakhalidwe ndi Ubongo koma wapitilirabe kunena za "Nambala ya Dunbar" kuyambira pamenepo) akufotokoza kuti ubongo wanu umakweza gulu lanu kwa anthu 150 - ndizomwe zimatha kuthana nawo. Ngati zikuwoneka ngati zochuluka, yambani kulingalira aliyensemumacheza nawo mwachisawawa, kuchokera ku kalabu yanu yamabuku kupita ku kalasi yanu ya Loweruka m'mawa ya yoga, ndipo mudzapeza kuti mumaposa chiwerengero chimenecho mwachangu. Ndipo, zachidziwikire, izi sizitanthauza kuti sizabwino kuyambitsa ubale wamba ndi anzanu akuntchito kapena barista omwe mumawona m'mawa uliwonse, koma ngati muli ndi abwenzi pafupifupi 150 (ndatopa ndikungoganiza za izi!), Kafukufuku akanatero zikuwoneka kuti zikuwonetsa kuti mukufalitsa maubwenzi ocheperako, zomwe zimasiya mpata wolumikizana "weniweni".

Chowonadi ndi chakuti, malo ochezera a pa Intaneti apangitsa kuti zikhale zotheka kukhala ndi "abwenzi" oposa 150. Koma sizobisika kuti mndandanda wanu womwe ukukula wa anzanu a Facebook sumangofanana ndi chisangalalo chamagulu. M'malo mwake, maphunziro awiri adasindikizidwa mu Makompyuta M'makhalidwe Aanthu anapeza zosiyana. Woyamba adapeza kuti anthu omwe amagwiritsa ntchito Facebook nthawi zambiri (tengani bwenzi lanu Becky kuyambira kalasi yachiwiri, yemwe samaphonya kugawana nawo zolemba zake zolimbitsa thupi tsiku lililonse kapena zomwe adadya nkhomaliro) ali osungulumwa kwenikweni m'moyo weniweni. Wina adazindikira kuti kukhala ndi netiweki yayikulu yapa media media - motero kutengeka ndi mwana wagalu aliyense, tchuthi, kapena chithunzi chachitetezo - kumatha kukulepheretsani mtima.

Mosadabwitsa, maubwenzi anga ochezera a pawebusaiti ndi mayanjano amawonetsa zomwe zili m'dziko lenileni. Ndimatumiza pang'ono, ndipo ndikatero, nthawi zambiri zimakhala za mwana wanga wokongola kapena mwana wobereka. Ndipo sindimaponyera "zokonda" zanga kwa aliyense - ndimawasungira okondedwa anzanga omwe achoka kapena aphunzitsi anga achingerezi omwe nthawi zonse amalimbikitsa mabuku abwino.

Komanso, mukayang'ana luso la munthu kupanga ndi kusunga pafupi maubale komanso zibwenzi, gulu la a Dunbar likuti chiwerengerochi chimangodutsa anthu asanu nthawi iliyonse m'moyo wanu. Anthu amenewo amatha kusintha, koma eya, ubongo wanu umatha kuthana ndi maubwenzi asanu mwakamodzi-wina wotsimikizira mpope wanga. Anthu asanu m'moyo wanga omwe ndili ndi ubale wabwino ndi anthu omwe akhala m'moyo wanga kuyambira ndili mwana. Ngakhale sitimakhala m'dera limodzi, kusunga ubale ndi iwo kumamveka kophweka chifukwa mtundu waubwenzi wathu ndi wolimba, ngakhale nthawi yomwe tionana siili. Nthawi zina timangolankhula kamodzi pamwezi, komabe ndi anthu omwe ndimawaimbira foni ndikakhala ndi nkhani zoti ndigawane nawo, zabwino kapena zoyipa, ndi mosemphanitsa, kotero zimamveka ngati sitiphonyapo.

Kwa ine ndekha, ndaona kuti maubwenzi anga ali ndi njira yochepetsera ndikuyenda mofanana ndi zomwe zikuchitika pamoyo wanga. Kuti sorority ndinalowa miyezi yambiri yapitayo ndi anzanga ndinasonkhanitsa m'zaka zanga koleji? Ndikutha kukuwuzani ndendende zomwe onse akuchita chifukwa cha nkhani zanga zapa media, koma kuchuluka kwa iwo omwe ndidawawonapo ndekha ndikukhala ndi IRL kuseka nawo? Mmodzi. Ndipo ine ndiri bwino ndi izo. Ena anganene kuti zotsutsana ndi chikhalidwe cha anthu, koma ndimakonda kuganiza kuti ndikungomvetsera sayansi, ndikusungira malo mu ubongo wanga kwa anthu anga asanu omwe angalimbikitse thanzi langa pokhala m'moyo wanga. (Zindikirani: Ndidzakutengerani ayisikilimu, ngakhale simuli m'modzi mwa anthu anga asanu. Chifukwa ndimakukondani - ndi ayisikilimu.)

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