Chonde Lekani Kugwiritsa Ntchito Matenda Anga Amtima Kuti Mukwaniritse Zolingalira Zanu

Zamkati

• Nthano yofufuzidwa kwambiri: 'Malire a m'malire ndi oyipa'
• Chibwenzi cha 'Manic Pixie Dream Girl'
• Kupitilira makanema
• Zotsatira zenizeni m'nthano izi
• Kupitilira kusalidwa

Ndapeza zonena zabodza zokhudzana ndi kugonana komanso ziweto zozungulira anthu omwe ali ndi vuto la m'malire ndizofalikira - komanso zopweteka.

Thanzi ndi thanzi zimakhudza aliyense wa ife mosiyanasiyana. Iyi ndi nkhani ya munthu m'modzi.

Kuyambira ndili ndi zaka 14, mawu akuti "kuwunika za vuto laumunthu kapena wamisala" adalembedwa mwachidwi m'mndandanda wanga wazachipatala.

Lero ndi tsiku, Ndinaganiza tsiku langa lobadwa la 18. Monga wamkulu wazamalamulo, pamapeto pake ndimatha kupeza matenda anga okhudza matenda amisala patatha zaka zambiri nditumizidwa kuchokera pulogalamu imodzi yothandizira odwala matenda amisala kupita kwina.

Muofesi yanga yothandizira, adafotokoza, "Kyli, uli ndi vuto la matenda amisala lomwe limatchedwa kuti borderline personality."

Ndikuyembekeza mwachidwi, ndidamva kuti potsiriza ndinali ndi mawu ofotokozera kusinthasintha kwamalingaliro, mikhalidwe yodzivulaza, bulimia, komanso kutengeka mtima komwe ndimakumana nako kosalekeza.

Komabe mawonekedwe oweruza pankhope yake adandipangitsa kukhulupirira kuti mphamvu yanga yatsopano yopezayo ndiyosakhalitsa.

Nthano yofufuzidwa kwambiri: 'Malire a m'malire ndi oyipa'

National Alliance of Mental Illness (NAMI) akuti pakati pa 1.6 ndi 5.9 peresenti ya akulu aku America ali ndi vuto la m'malire (BPD). Amazindikira kuti pafupifupi 75% ya anthu omwe amalandila matenda a BPD ndi azimayi. Kafukufuku akuwonetsa kuti zinthu zachilengedwe komanso zachikhalidwe zitha kukhala zoyambitsa kusiyana kumeneku.

Kuti mulandire matenda a BPD, muyenera kukwaniritsa zofunikira zisanu mwa zisanu ndi zinayi zomwe zalembedwa mu mtundu watsopano wa Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Mental Disorder (DSM-5). Ali:

• kudzimva wosakhazikika
• mantha owopsa osiyidwa
• zovuta kusunga maubale pakati pa anthu
• kudzipha kapena kudzivulaza
• kusakhazikika kwamalingaliro
• Kudzimva wachabechabe
• kudzipatula
• kupsa mtima
• kunyinyirika

Ndili ndi zaka 18, ndidakwaniritsa zofunikira zonse.

Pomwe ndimayang'ana mawebusayiti omwe amafotokoza za matenda anga amisala, chiyembekezo changa chamtsogolo changa sichinachite manyazi. Kukula ndikukhazikitsidwa ndi achinyamata ena omwe amakhala ndi matenda amisala, sindinadziwitsidwe kawirikawiri kuti ndikadwala matenda amisala.

Koma sindinayembekezere kuyang'ana mbali zakuda za intaneti kuti ndipeze zomwe anthu ambiri amaganiza za azimayi omwe ali ndi BPD.

"Malire a m'malire ndi oyipa," werengani kusaka koyamba kotsiriza kwa Google.

Mabuku othandizira anthu omwe ali ndi BPD anali ndi mayina monga "Mitundu Isanu ya Anthu Omwe Atha Kuwononga Moyo Wanu." Kodi ndinali munthu woipa?

Ndidaphunzira msanga kubisa matenda anga, ngakhale kwa abwenzi apamtima komanso abale. BPD inamveka ngati kalata yofiira, ndipo ndinkafuna kuti ikhale kutali ndi moyo wanga momwe ndingathere.

Chibwenzi cha 'Manic Pixie Dream Girl'

Ndikulakalaka ufulu womwe ndimasowa kwambiri ndili mwana, ndidachoka kuchipatala mwezi umodzi nditatha zaka 18. Ndinasunga chinsinsi changa, mpaka nditakumana ndi chibwenzi changa choyambirira miyezi ingapo pambuyo pake.

Anadziyesa yekha ngati mchiuno. Nditamuuza kuti ndili ndi BPD, nkhope yake idasangalala ndi chisangalalo. Tidakula pomwe makanema monga "The Virgin Suicides" ndi "Garden State," pomwe anthu otchuka adatengeka ndi azimayi omwe ali ndi matenda amisala, anali atatchuka kwambiri.

Chifukwa cha izi Manic Pixie Maloto Atsikana trope, Ndikukhulupirira panali zokopa zina zoti iye akhale ndi bwenzi lodwala misala.

Zinkawoneka ngati zosatheka kutsatira miyezo yosatheka yomwe ndimamverera kuti ndiyenera kutsatira ngati mtsikana - mayi wodwala m'maganizo, kuti ndiyambe. Chifukwa chake, ndidadzimva kuti ndikufuna kusintha momwe amandigwetsera BPD.

Ndinkafuna kuti matenda anga amisala alandiridwe. Ndinkafuna kuti andilandire.

Pamene chibwenzi chathu chimapita patsogolo, adayamba kukonda zina mwa matenda angawa. Ndinali chibwenzi chomwe nthawi zina chimakhala chowopsa, chopupuluma, chogonana, komanso womvera ena akalakwitsa.

Komabe, nthawi yomwe zisonyezo zanga zidachoka ku "quirky" kukhala "wopenga" kuchokera momwe amaonera - kusinthasintha kwa malingaliro, kulira kosalamulirika, kudula - ndidakhala wotayika.

Chowonadi cha zovuta zamatenda amisala sichinapatse mpata malingaliro ake a Manic Pixie Dream Girl kuti achite bwino, motero tinasiyana posakhalitsa pambuyo pake.

Kupitilira makanema

Zomwe ndimamva kuti gulu lathu limamatira ku nthano yoti azimayi omwe ali m'malire samakondedwa komanso ndi owopsa m'mayanjano, azimayi omwe ali ndi BPD ndi matenda ena amisala nawonso amatsutsidwa.

Dr. Tory Eisenlohr-Moul, wothandizira pulofesa wa zamisala ku University of Illinois ku Chicago, akuuza Healthline kuti machitidwe ambiri azimayi omwe amakhala m'malire am'mbali "amapatsidwa mphotho ndi anthu munthawi yochepa, koma m'kupita kwanthawi, amapeza nkhanza kwenikweni adzalangidwa. ”

Zakale, pakhala pali chidwi chachikulu ndi azimayi odwala matenda amisala. M'zaka zonse za zana la 19 (ndipo kale kwambiri izi zisanachitike), azimayi omwe amawoneka kuti ali ndi matenda adasandulika ngati zisudzo za madotolo makamaka achimuna kuti ayesere pagulu. (Nthawi zambiri, "chithandizo" ichi sichinali chogwirizana.)

"Izi [kusalidwa ndi thanzi lam'mutu] zimazunza kwambiri azimayi omwe amakhala m'malire, chifukwa anthu athu ndi okonzeka kunyalanyaza azimayi ngati 'openga.'" - Dr. Eisenlohr-Moul

Amayi ozungulira azimayi omwe ali ndi matenda amisala asintha pakapita nthawi kuti awasokoneze m'njira zosiyanasiyana. Chitsanzo chodziwikiratu ndi pomwe a Donald Trump adawonekera pa "The Howard Stern Show" mu 2004, ndipo pokambirana za Lindsay Lohan, adati, "Zimatheka bwanji kuti amayi omwe ali ndi nkhawa kwambiri, mukudziwa, kukhumudwa kwambiri, amakhala opambana nthawi zonse pabedi? ”

Ngakhale kuti ndemanga za Trump zinali zosokoneza bwanji, malingaliro akuti azimayi "openga" ndiabwino pazogonana ndizofala.

Kaya ndimakondedwa kapena kudedwa, kuwonedwa ngati malo ogona usiku umodzi, kapena njira yowunikirira, ndimamva kuti anthu ambiri ali ndi manyazi chifukwa cha matenda angawa. Mawu atatu ang'onoang'ono - "Ndine m'malire" - ndipo ndimatha kuwona maso a wina akusunthira pomwe amandipangira zakumbuyo.

Zotsatira zenizeni m'nthano izi

Pali zoopsa kwa ife omwe tikugwera pachimake cha kuthekera komanso kugonana.

Kafukufuku wina wa 2014 adawonetsa kuti 40% ya azimayi omwe ali ndi matenda amisala adachitidwapo zachipongwe atakula. Kupitirira apo, 69 peresenti adanenanso kuti amachitidwapo nkhanza za m'banja. M'malo mwake, amayi olumala amtundu uliwonse amatha kuchitiridwa nkhanza zogonana kuposa amayi omwe alibe.

Izi zimawononga makamaka pamatenda amisala monga BPD.

Ngakhale kuchitiridwa zachipongwe paubwana sikuwoneka kuti ndikofunikira pakukula kwa BPD, kafukufuku wasonyeza kwinakwake pakati pa anthu omwe ali ndi BPD adachitiranso zowawa zakugonana ali mwana.

Monga wogwiriridwapo paubwana, ndinazindikira kudzera mu chithandizo kuti BPD yanga idapangidwa chifukwa chakuzunzidwa komwe ndidakumana nako. Ndaphunzira kuti, ngakhale zili zopanda thanzi, malingaliro anga ofuna kudzipha tsiku ndi tsiku, kudzivulaza, kusadya bwino, komanso kupupuluma zonse zinali njira zothanirana ndi mavuto. Anali njira yanga yolumikizirana, "Muyenera kupulumuka, mwa njira iliyonse yofunikira."

Ngakhale ndaphunzira kulemekeza malire anga kudzera kuchipatala, ndimadzazidwabe ndi nkhawa nthawi zonse kuti kusatetezeka kwanga kumatha kubweretsa kuzunzidwa komanso kukonzanso.

Kupitilira kusalidwa

Bessel van der Kolk, MD, analemba m'buku lake "The Body Keeps The Score," kuti "chikhalidwe chimapangitsa kuwonetsa kupsinjika." Ngakhale izi ndizowona pamavuto, sindingathandize koma ndikukhulupirira kuti maudindo a amuna ndi akazi atenga gawo lofunikira pazifukwa zomwe azimayi omwe ali ndi BPD amasalidwa kapena kutsutsidwa.

"Izi [zamanyazi] zimasewera kwambiri azimayi omwe amakhala m'malire, chifukwa anthu athu ndi okonzeka kunyalanyaza azimayi ngati" openga, "akutero Dr. Eisenlohr-Moul. "Chilango chomwe mkazi amakhala nacho mopupuluma chimakhala chachikulu kwambiri kuposa chamwamuna mopupuluma."

Ngakhale nditapitilira kupitilira kuchira kwanga ndikuganiza momwe ndingasamalire zisonyezo zanga m'malire m'njira zathanzi, ndaphunzira kuti malingaliro anga sadzakhala chete okwanira kwa anthu ena.

Chikhalidwe chathu chimaphunzitsa kale amayi kuti azitha kupsa mtima ndi kukhumudwa: kuwonedwa, koma osamvedwa. Amayi omwe ali m'malire - omwe amadzimva olimba mtima komanso ozama - ndizotsutsana kwathunthu momwe taphunzitsidwira kuti amayi ayenera kukhala.

Kukhala ndi malire m'malire ngati mkazi kumatanthauza kumangokhalira kumenyanitsidwa pakati pamisala yamaganizidwe azakugonana.

Ndinkakonda kusankha mosamala yemwe ndamufotokozera za matendawa. Koma tsopano, ndimakhala mopanda tanthauzo m'choonadi changa.

Kusalidwa ndi nthano zomwe gulu lathu limalimbikitsa azimayi omwe ali ndi BPD siwo mtanda wathu woti titenge.

Kyli Rodriguez-Cayro ndi wolemba waku Cuba-America, wothandizira zaumoyo, komanso womenyera ufulu wawo ku Salt Lake City, Utah. Ndiwolankhula momasuka kuti athetse nkhanza zakugonana komanso kuchitira nkhanza azimayi, ufulu wa ochita zogonana, chilungamo cha olumala, komanso ukazi wophatikiza. Kuphatikiza pa zomwe adalemba, Kyli adakhazikitsanso Magdalene Collective, gulu logwirira ntchito zachiwerewere ku Salt Lake City. Mutha kumuchezera pa Instagram kapena patsamba lake.